I have a 17 lb, black, mixed poodle/terrier - 12 years old...and he died suddenly Saturday morning. His name is Spunky, 'cuz that's his personality.

I have done nothing but cry and sleep for 3 days now. Each morning I don't want to get out of bed, but I do because I take care of my daughter's two big dogs and a cat, and they have to go potty and be fed. I'll have my coffee and think of all the things I can do today. Go to the market, cook soup, straighten up this house, call a friend for a cup of coffee, water, put away the rest of the xmas stuff.....but then I start to cry because Spunky didn't bark me awake this morning at 8 or 8:30 - depending on how hungry he is (and he was ALWAYS hungry).

Then I'll cry after my coffee and roll 'cuz he's not here to lick the crumbs off the plate where the roll was - he loved doing that.

Then I'll cry because I don't see his waggly little butt walking away from me toward the bed, where he goes under (it's his cave) and takes his morning nap.

In about an hour or two I'll cry again because it's time to take him out to go potty and when I call him he sticks his little head out from under the bed and the bed skirt sort of makes a sort of scarf around his face - then out comes the rest of him wiggling and waggling and heading for the door.

This goes on all morning - the routine that doesn't happen - until I've cried myself into exhaustion and go to sleep for a couple of hours., and I never did get out the house.

My daughter and her boyfriend came over after work today and insisted I go out for dinner with them. I'm so glad I did.

My goal is to get out of this house tomorrow. I'd already made plans for lunch with some friends and I'm going to do it.

I miss him so much I can hardly stand it. He was my little guy - my little friend - my sweet baby,

Thanks for being here and listening.

Hey Spunky...I'm so sorry about your baby. I lost my ten year old kitty a couple of weeks ago, also suddenly and completely unexpected. I did the same thing for the first few days, just cried and cried until I had almost made myself sick from crying. There was nothing else that I could do.

It's very healthy and strong of you to be getting out and making yourself be social and sticking to your normal routine. So good for you!

It's so painful how much we miss them. You and I both have the advantage because there was no suffering or agonizing choices to be made. My boy was his usual happy self right up until a couple of hours before he passed. It's so much easier to be sad than to carry a lot of guilt and anger.

My mother had surgery the week after I lost Tucker so I was forced to come out of the fog of grief to help look after her and my father. I'm embarrassed to admit that my Christmas tree is still up because I haven't been able to bring myself to take it down and put away Tucker's stocking. So...you aren't alone.

We do the best we can after losing a beloved companion. At least you are on the right track. Take care.

I send you hugs at this time. It is never easy when we lose a loved one. We all show our grief differently. Cry all you want till you can't cry anymore. My body was on auto pilot for like a week after loosing Sissycat. I did what I had to do and nothing more. I couldn't eat, think, do laundry, dishes, etc. I didn't want to come home cause all the memories came flooding back. I couldn't look at her pictures cause I would cry so much. Now after a little over 7 months I can look at her picture and smile.

You have found the right place. Come and talk, tell stories, post pictures, cry, or what ever you feel like.
There are so many wonderful people here and most have been or are where you are.
We help each other to heal.

Hugs to you and your new angel Spunky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so sorry about Spunky. He sounds so beautiful!

Like others have said, you just cry and cry when you feel like it. Its only been 3 days so of course you are still crying. I cried for weeks when I lost my dog. You are doing really well going out for dinner and trying to get yourself out of the house. I shut myself in my house for weeks and refused to come out, even got signed of work! So well done for being so brave.

You know if a person dies, people expect us to hide away for a while and grieve but when its a pet there seems to be different expectations.
But the loss is the same, sometimes worse because they give us such unconditional love.

You just do whatever feels right.

take care
Von

My heart goes out to you as you mourn the unexpected death of your precious Spunky. Losing one who is loved so much, especially when it so sudden, leaves us in shock. It's hard to comprehend that an hour ago or a day ago they were just fine and then in a blink of an eye.......gone from this world....leaving our hearts broken in a million pieces.

About 14 months ago my sweet Goliath also left this world very unexpectedly. He died in my arms looking straight into my eyes. My world faded right in front of me as I felt my own legs give out from under me. I tried desperately to breathe life back into to his limp lifeless body to no avail. The angels had already carried him off to Heaven. For the next two months I had no concept of time and operated on autopilot.....merely existing and not caring whether I lived or died. Life as I knew it had come to an abrupt end and I was thrown into a different kind of life that was completely foreign to me. I thought for sure I was stuck in some kind of endless nightmare that would never go away.

A little over two months after Goliath passed away, I stumbled upon LS. It was then I began my journey toward healing. First finding acceptance and then a reawakening of a will to live again. Here at LS I found hope, inspiration, and encouragement to find a way to adapt to a new kind of life. Eventually, the deep anguish and depression I had been in began to lift little by little and I began to recognize and feel all the wonderful memories Goliath left me. As time went on, I became able to let go of the pain and deep seeded grief while hanging onto the beautiful memories he and I made together over the years.

Though Spunky has left this world for another, his loving spirit is alive, well, with you, and within you. The loving bond you and he share cannot be broken in this world nor the next. How wonderful it truly is to experience such a love in your life to remember always. Trust that your separation is but temporary. Life is short........eternity is not. One day you and he will reunite in a place that is timeless, no pain, no sorrow, only eternal and lasting love......never to be separated again.

Keep coming to LS and share your stories, pictures, memories, feelings and thoughts. Share Spunky's love and life with us as you feel ready. This journey of healing is a tough road to walk, but we all walk together......never alone. In time you will begin picking up the pieces of your broken heart.

Many hugs of comfort from my heart to yours,
Beth

I would like to offer my deepest sympathy, in the loss of your beloved Spunky. Thank you for posting some of your daily rituals with him. He sounds like he was a very lucky guy, to have such a loving home. What a cute name you had for him, and I hope you'll someday post a picture.

I am glad that you made plans to get away from the house for awhile. I know you are hurting, and the tears come often now. Grief is a rough journey, but you have Spunky watching over you now. As another poster mentioned, he's your angel. Look to him for guidance and strength, and he will be there. He may be physically gone, but he will forever be in your heart. I wish you comfort and peace, during this difficult loss.

Thank you all so much for your loving and caring replies, and for sharing your personal stories of your 'sweety-pies' as well.

I went out to lunch today with some new friends. I didn't feel like going, but I felt I had to, for my own good. It was pleasant and I managed quite well until one of my friends and I decided to do some 'retail therapy' afterwards. I'm afraid I wasn't very good company...I just felt sad and morose and wanted to go home.

I've been pretty teary and sad since I got home but it's been so nice and so comforting to see all your messages on this site regarding my Spunky.

I keep thinking that maybe I need to get another little dog right away...I don't know...all I know i s I wish he hadn't died, I wish he were here, I wish I'd stop hurting, I wish....I wish....

Love to you all,

Some people do get pets right away-some wait.

It doesn't mean you are trying to replace Spunky. It may bring you some comfort and to know you can give another furbaby a loving home---that is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You will know when your time is right.


Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so sorry to read about your boy, Spunky. It is so recent the hurt can be overwhelming. I agree with others who said your getting out of the house was good.

It is so devastating to lose a part of yourself..which is what these babies are. They are always safe in our hearts forever but seeing them each day was so very special and so much a part of everything we did and then when that is not there...we can feel helpless and lost.

The best thing to do is whatever feels right to you...what you think would make you feel better.
If you want to look at new babies and see if you find a connection...do that. If you want to wait a while longer...do that. Ask yourself what would make you feel better right now.

For me, after days of crying until I was exhausted, I thought about that question and I knew I wanted another baby in my home...I didn't want it empty. But as I started visiting shelters and adoption places I was wondering if I would ever connect with any I saw. I've always loved animals and wish they all had homes but I felt I was looking for something special but I didn't know what.
So for a couple of weeks I went back and forth to places to see the animals. Then one day I went into a room I hadn't been in before and saw a cat sleeping that looked like my Little Guy. I walked over to see him better and hearing me, he opened his eyes and I felt a shock. His eyes were so beautiful I loved looking into them (just the way I felt about all 3 of my babies I lost..all siblings with such gorgeous glowing eyes) and I still went home and thought about it and knew deep down I wanted to bring him home....and so I did.

Years ago when I had my dogs it was easier to find ones who needed homes without searching. Someone always knew someone whose dog had puppies or a person who was moving and couldn't take their dog, and one I found in the classified who needed a home (a puppy). And however it happened, it always seemed to happen the right way. I never regretted any babies I ever adopted. They all gave me so much in the time they were with me.

We never replace our special ones but we have room in our hearts for another at times, who needs a home and love at the same time we have an empty place in our home and we need to love back.

Grief is something we have to overcome and control it so it does not control our lives. That takes time. For me, I needed another baby to hug and talk to...that helped me a lot. Others can wait longer. It is all up to each individual. If something feels right to do, that is the thing to do. I truly felt lost when my home was empty for the first time in a very long time and I found that a little body who demanded my attention..was what I needed.

Some people volunteer at shelters so they get to see the babies and pet them but I hear from them they sure feel like taking them all home. But they say it helps to at least hold and hug one again even if it is only for a few hours a day.

In my case I was looking for twins because I had twin boys, black and medium hair, and big beautiful eyes. I know my new boy, Lucky, looks close to my boys and for me that helps cause it makes me feel as though I still have a little bit of my boys back when Lucky goes galloping through the house, a flash of black fur going 80 miles an hour.

I read your wishes.....we all have those, it's so natural. Take some deep breaths. Try to relax and think about how you feel and what would make you feel better and do it. Take one day at a time.

I wish you peace and healing.

Hugs to you and your sweet Angel, Spunky. Come back anytime and tell us all about him and how you are doing. Everything you are feeling is okay and very natural. And remember that when you are here, you are not alone in your pain as we still know it and feel it too. If we can share what has helped us and anything said helps you.....it helps us also to know that.

Judy

I'm so sorry for your loss of Spunky. There are so many hard parts of greif. Just when you think it's the emptiness of them not being there, then comes the transistion of moving on. Chaning or adding or subtracting things in our everyday life. It was one way for the longest time. Spunkys welcoming bark in the a.m, etc...Now adjusting to life without. So hard.. I know..I guess the more distractions the better. Not to forget them, mind you, we will never forget..many hugs..Ann

We once had a little poodle/terrier dog, that we adored. Louie weighed about 18 pounds, and it sounds like your Spunky was a lot like him. Our favorite nickname for him was " Mr. Perfect " because he was so smart and so sweet and he just never did anything bad. We also lost him very suddenly and it broke our hearts. We still miss him everyday and he has been gone about 10 years now.


I'm so sorry for the loss of your little buddy,
Thoughts and Prayers,
Dayna