Where does one even start when you feel like your heart is shattered? Chickie was a birthday gift to me from an ex-boyfriend and one of the only decent things he ever did for me. She was a shelter kitty and couldn't have been more than 6 weeks old when I got her. She was so precious..immediately greeted me with the biggest, most pitiful meowww that her tiny body could muster...and that was the beginning of our very vocal and loving relationship. I always had at least one pet growing up..there is a part of me that is not complete without a warm, furry body somewhere nearby..but I have never shared the relationship that I shared with Chickie with any other pet. She was the yin to my yang. She was my girl. She didn't used to be nearly as social as she ended up, but she could be in a roomful of a hundred people, sucking up to all of them for special rubs and loving, but if I walked in the room, she was right there with me. I was 'HER' person.

We stayed with the ex for another long and excruciating 3 years. After that, we moved to a different city--she, her brother-dog, Levi, and I and got our own place. It wasn't always easy--I am VERY close to my family and we now lived 250 miles away and didn't know anyone in the city we moved to! but we had each other and that was plenty. Life was drastically better and we had so many fun times. They both kept me company and kept me from being lonely. They brought many smiles to my face.

Chickie was prissy from day one and I am not sure where she got it. She had such and attitude. She would announce her presence when she walked into a room--a soft succession of purr-chirps--"Here I am--soft and fluffy--who wants to rub my ears or tummy?"--tail held completely erect with a perfect little hook at the top. She must always have the freshest water-preferably with ice-and when the bowl was freshly filled, Levi must wait while she took her own sweet time savoring the ice water. She would share, he just came second. She had food allergies, so she had to have special prescription food that had to be kept up high so Levi wouldn't eat all of it. She was never fat at all--she looked big because of all of her hair, but she really enjoyed her food. Heaven forbid she could see the bottom of the bowl--she would let you know! She had the most high-pitched voice and loved to talk--her meows sounding more like a very high-pitched version of Booooo. She loved to talk to me. I could look at her and ask her "What do you want?"--BOOOOOO she would tell me and I would know what she wanted. She would always say hi to her grandma when I talked to her on the phone--Chickie, say HI--Booooo! Heaven forbid she come in contact with anything unsavory—dog walks too close to her?—she would shake her front right paw like—oooh, got something on me! Such a little prisspot.

She was as loving as she was prissy—she loved to curl up in my lap (or my husband’s if I was up and doing things) and make biscuits on our bellies—kneading her claws up and down like there was no tomorrow! When I would lay on the couch, she would curl herself up perfectly in the crook of my arm, giving me gentle head-butts and purring her head off. She also loved to stick her cold, wet nose right in my ear, purring as loudly as possible. (She is the only one I will tolerate this from—I hate anyone messing with my ears, but she could do that to her heart’s content and Levi is definitely allowed to give his polite, doggy kisses right on the tips of my earlobes!) When I was sleeping and she wanted attention, she would sit right on my butt and knead until I woke up and played with her.

Three cities later, our life was definitely great—then we met my husband. I told him when we first started ****** that we were a package deal—if he wanted to be with me, he also got Levi and Chickie. We knew he was a keeper when he not only accepted all of us, but quickly took to spoiling all of us—treats and leashes and collars for Levi and Kitty Scratch pads, catnip, and mousies for Chickie—he loves to go to PetSmart and get treats for them! Then, it got better, my sister moved to town—such a treat—if we were working late, Jennifer would come by and let Levi out and give Chick lots of extra loving. In the midst of all of this, we were also planning a wedding. Three weeks before the wedding, Chickie had an accident on the bathroom rug right in front of me—I knew something was really wrong—she never did this. She was always so good about using the litterbox. I took her to the vet first thing the next morning and had them do all the tests. I wanted to make sure she was okay and it wasn’t something serious. They had to keep her during the day, but I called several times to check on her and they were doing fine. I finally got the call from the vet—she had a bladder infection that they thought could be taken care of with antibiotics. Only one of her kidney functions was slightly elevated and they thought that was because of the infection. She sent us home with the medicine and mentioned that I might bring her in about a month later to see what her kidney levels were without the infection. She took the medicine and seemed fine. The week of the wedding was very hectic and I could tell she wasn’t really happy with all of the people coming and going and disrupting her routine, but she didn’t seem like she felt bad and she was still eating great and drinking plenty. One week after the wedding to the day, she stopped eating and really started going downhill that weekend. First thing Monday morning, I took her back to the vet and she had acute renal failure. Her body temperature was below normal and the vet told me the best thing for her would be to let her go and not suffer. The only thing that hurt more than letting my sweet girl go was the thought of that sweet baby hurting at all. I called my husband and he came there and we held her together, told her what a good girl she was and helped her cross the rainbow bridge.

I know she is in a better place, but I am a complete mess. I do my best each day to be thankful for the 10 and a half wonderful years that I had with her and look forward to the day she leaps into my arms again. Poor Levi was very upset for about a week—didn’t understand why things were so different and where his sister was. He also wouldn’t let me out of his sight for about 2 weeks, but he seems to be doing much better. I know the day will come when Chickie and God decide that it is time for me to have another special kitty, but there hasn’t been one yet who has spoken to my heart. Hopefully, the pain will become softer and I will be able to remember her without breaking down into tears—I pray the day will come soon—I need it. Thank you all very much for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers and understanding the love that one heart can have for our fur-babies!

In Loving Memory
Click to view attachment

Chickie
April 1998-November 24, 2008

That was such a heartwarming account of your life with Chickie. She was very lucky to know your love, like you were blessed with hers. May life bring you the best and may all your prayers be answered. It is not easy to lose them, thanks for sharing with us.

You have my deepest sympathy in the loss of your dear sweet Chickie. You provided her with an abundance of love, throughout her life. I hope that the wonderful memories of her, will comfort you through your grieving.

Every word you spoke about the life you and Chickie shared together touched me deeply. The decision you made in helping her cross Rainbow Bridge took alot of love and courage. It's obvious to me just how much you loved her and I know she loved you too.

A time will come when you will find yourself able to think of Chickie without breaking down. When you least expect it, a memorable event of the past will cross your mind and you will find yourself smiling in remembrance and gratitude that she enriched your life so much. Right now it may seem as though you are only left with grief and sorrow. I wish there were a way around those feelings, but we can only work through them. Chickie left you with a wonderful gift of all the memories you and she made together. What a treasure you gave each other! She will always be with you because loving spirits never die, even though a body may perish.

The heart only knows when the time is right for a new addition to a family. Your pain will soften, I promise. A year ago I wouldn't have believed my pain and grief would ever subside. Though I think of my Goliath many many times throughout each and every day, it is with smiles and gratitude for having been the lucky one who got to share his life with him. I will love my Goliath til the day after forever.

Peace, comfort, and love from my heart to yours,
Beth

Thank yo so much for your kind words and for knowing what i am going through right now. I really appreciate it.

Toonie,

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. It took me over a month to be able to write about it...I am hoping that by getting it out, I will be better able to handle everything.

Adriane

Beth,

Thank you so so so much. I find myself recalling funny things she did or her cute little mannerisms all the time--right now it brings tears to eyes, a huge ache in my heart, but already, a small smile when I think about her--I was so lucky that she was the keeper of my heart for so many years and very blessed to have had her. It took me over a month to even be able to write about it, but I am hoping that by posting special memories and talking about her to all of you, it will help me to be able to reminisce with more smiles and less hearbreak. I think it will be a huge honor to her to go and get another shelter kitty and provide it with a loving home, I just know that the time isn't right yet and that when it is, there will be a special kitty who speaks to my heart..and God will put that kitty in my path so that I know it is right. It is so hard to imagine another cat being able to capture even half as much of my heart as she did. She was there for me during the toughest times of my life and made those times easier to bear. She truly was my heart. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers and being there to listen. I really appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Adriane

I'm so sorry for your loss of Chickie. She looks exactly like a 10yr old Maine coon at the shelter I voulenteer at. (which I fell head over heals for)..We never want to see our babies suffer. It doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye(for now). But, the emptiness is hardest. You will know when your ready to open your heart to another. Chickie will never be "replaced". You gave her a wonderful life full of love and she returned the favor. I pray your healing comes quick and your tears will turn to smiles when you think of her..Hugs.. Ann

Dear Adriane,

A year ago, I couldn't fathom the idea of ever bringing another furry kid into our home.....let alone our hearts. The mere thought of doing so made me feel as though I was betraying Goliath's love. Even though some people urged me to bring another puppy into our home, I felt it was important for me to allow my grief and sadness to subside somewhat first. I wanted to wait for a time I could be sure that when and if I brought another into our lives that it was for the right reasons. A new puppy deserved to be more than a distraction from my mourning. My heart was broken in so many pieces and my thinking was anything but clear.

I didn't find LS until a little over two months after my Goliath passed away. Those first two months were the most horrible of my life. I had lost my zest for living and was sort of on auto-pilot. My other chihuahua, Gidget, fell into mourning right along with me. She looked for Goliath constantly which sent me into tears over and over again. Finding LS was the beginning of my journey of healing. Here I found inspirations and hope of finding my way back to a way of living happily again. It took alot of time, tears, and side trips before I could actually feel myself begin to heal.

About 4 months or so after Goliath was swept off to Heaven, I began to think about another puppy. There was so much love that lived in my heart, that I knew there was plenty to go around for any number of new additions. Goliath was such a loving creature and I knew he would be proud to have a new sister or brother in our home again. The feelings of betrayal had left me by then and I was well on my way along a road of healing and finding myself growing spiritually as each new day came.

One day I was at work when a co-worker came out and told me I had to read an article on the internet. The article was about a Momma chihuahua and her 3 babies who were in a shelter nearby my home. To make a long story short, there was one male puppy left and one female. I instantly fell in love with the male and new this was the one I had been waiting for. We named him Browser and he quickly wormed his way right into our hearts. I kept thinking about the sister who was left behind and found myself praying about her every night. One of my dearest friends here, who lives out of state, wound up adopting Browser's sister! My friend and her husband met us at a campground half way between our two states where we spent a wonderful weekend together. Miracles do happen when we least expect them.......especially when we believe!

Yes Adriane, Browser captured my heart. His big brother Goliath saw to it and made it happen. Goliath's love lives on forever in my heart and there is room there for all 3 of my babies. As Goliath's love lives on, I have found his loving spirit never left me. Chickie has not left you either. Her loving spirit shall be right at your side and within your heart always.

May you be blessed always with the warm and loving memories you and Chickie made together. Let her sun shine as you carry her aura with you everywhere you go and in everything you do.

Hugs of love,
Beth

Your picture of Chickie shows what a beautiful girl she is. I am sorry it was her time to go but you know she is now a part of your heart where she can never leave.

you said: I know she is in a better place, but I am a complete mess. I do my best each day to be thankful for the 10 and a half wonderful years that I had with her and look forward to the day she leaps into my arms again. Poor Levi was very upset for about a week—didn’t understand why things were so different and where his sister was. He also wouldn’t let me out of his sight for about 2 weeks, but he seems to be doing much better. I know the day will come when Chickie and God decide that it is time for me to have another special kitty, but there hasn’t been one yet who has spoken to my heart. Hopefully, the pain will become softer and I will be able to remember her without breaking down into tears—I pray the day will come soon—I need it. Thank you all very much for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers and understanding the love that one heart can have for our fur-babies!

I understand about feeling like a complete mess. You are so right to take it all one day at a time and remember the good years you two were together. Those are the memories that help us heal.
I am glad you have Levi. Of my original 3, I did lose them one at a time and until the last one, my Little Guy (my avatar picture), when I lost one I still had one at home but when my last one had to leave....the home and my heart felt empty. But when I still had one to come home to, that helped me very much so I know Levi is doing that for you now. I think there will come a time for you to have another special kitty. You will know one day when you look into a pair of eyes and never want to look away. Chickie is probably already checking out these babies and I believe if one does eventually speak to your heart.....it will be because your precious Angel, Chickie, had a part in everything happening.

I still can break into tears thinking of my boy. I don't see that ever going away completely because the love and missing that causes those tears will never to away. We just, in time, are able to be more in control...and then...one day out of the blue...we can look at a picture or think of a memory and be overwhelmed by tears again. It's a normal part of the grieving we go through. We will love them forever and miss them forever and be forever grateful they were a part of our lives.

Hugs and peace and healing,
Judy

Beth and Judy,

Thank you so much for your comforting words. I don't think that most people who haven't bonded as closely with a pet can understand the depth of our love for them and the endless grief that comes with their passing. I think that the thing that has been the hardest is the hope and expectation and subsequent disappointment every day when your heart leaps a little in your chest as you are coming home from work or running errands...a little part of you expects her to be there at the door to greet you, all smiling and purring and then you feel the letdown when your heart catches up with your brain and you realize that it won't happen.

I am still playing the "what if" game with myself...What if I had taken her to the vet sooner? Would she have had longer? Should I have tried to do more treatments? (I know she would have absolutely hated this since she couldn't stand going to the vet) What if we could have made more changes to her diet? Would that have made a difference? And then I look at the total situation and I know in my heart that I made the best decision for her--I have a tendency to over-&%^yze everything. Everything is compounded and clarified by other things going on in my life. I just made the 8 hour trip to my hometown this weekend to go see my Grandfather, who is dying from cancer right now...it makes you realize two things...1. How important those last times with your loved ones are, and 2. How sometimes helping your loved furbaby cross over Rainbow Bridge really is the most humane thing you can do for them no matter how hard it is for you. My grandpa isn't living life the way he wants to. He hurts and is miserable. I definitely wouldn't want that for my sweet baby Chickie.

The other thing I am wrestling with right now is when is the right time for another furbaby? I know I'm not ready yet, but will it hit me when I am ready? How will I know? I am also worried that it won't be right for another kitty--will I always compare them to Chick? Will I ever have the bond with him/her as with Chickie? I know the love is in my heart because I am just as close to Levi, but also, is it fair to him? He is 8 years old now and I am really not sure how he would react to a baby in the house. She was already 2 years old when I found him as a teeny tiny puppy.

Chickie was there for me for the hardest times in my life--really bad relationship, moving to new cities where I didn't know anyone, worries about finances, etc. Now I have an incredible husband (9 days before she died) and I feel like I am moving toward some of the happiest times..being settled in a city for 4 whole years! with a great network of friends, being married to a great man, hopefully buying a house soon (she would have loved having a lot of windows to sit in and bird feeders outside of her window) and eventually starting a family, but I don't want to do it without her. She deserves this too. The thing that I was most excited about buying a house was getting a yard for Levi and lots of room and special nooks and crannies for Chick. When will the pain lessen? When will it be easier to look forward instead of thinking about what she won't get?

Thank you again for listening to me ramble on and for answering so many of my questions. I really appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers.

Adriane

It takes time for the pain to lessen but it never truly goes away completely because we love them so much and the pain is here because we miss them so much and that won't ever stop. But in time is becomes bearable.

Don't go through the Whatifs....if it was meant to be different, it would have been. I always believe that these babies have a time to go and we don't know when that is. But when it is their time, everything is taken out of our control. We won't have an answer to help them. The vet will not have an answer. Whether it is an illness or an accident....if it is their time, we can't stop it.
If it is not their time, then we would have done the Whatifs.....and at that time, it would have helped. The whatifs will not come into our minds when it is their time to go because we will not be able to stop it.

you also wondered: The other thing I am wrestling with right now is when is the right time for another furbaby? I know I'm not ready yet, but will it hit me when I am ready? How will I know? I am also worried that it won't be right for another kitty--will I always compare them to Chick? Will I ever have the bond with him/her as with Chickie?

As far as another furbaby.....there is no "right time". What feels right to you to make you feel better is what is right. All I know I when I stopped crying because it was too exhausting to spend all my time doing that, I asked myself what would make me feel better..and my answer was I wanted another like my boy...one to hug and hold and talk to. That was when I started looking but I had to make a "connection"...then it would feel right. I didn't want to go through the Holidays again without another. It took a couple of weeks of looking at the SPCA and pet adoption places and one day I looked into a pair of eyes..I didn't want to look away. I knew I wanted to take this boy home. As far as comparisons..that happens but we know they are each unique in their own way and we know there can be no comparison. The new one begins their own special memories with us. You will have a bond again because we love all these babies so very much, that creates an individual bond that is never duplicated.

There will always be sad times of remembering Chickie and wishing she were a part of everything again. That's so normal. We can only help ourselves with that by remembering how glad we are they became a part of our lives...with memories of happy, healthy times that we will treasure forever.

I see by her picture Chickie was a beautiful girl. You might want to post more pictures here. We love to look at pictures because we know in there...these babies were happy and healthy..and it was a good time to remember. You might think of stories of things she did that it makes you smile to remember.

It is truly taking it one day at a time and remembering there are no time limits on grieving.
And that whatever feels right to do...is the right thing to do for you. We each find our own way out of the most intense grief....all we can do is share stories of how we coped or what worked for us and sometimes that sharing helps others.

Hugs, peace and healing,
Judy

Hi Adriane,

Pondering the "what ifs" is something we all have gone through. We think if we can make some sense out of it that somehow it will lessen our pain. For me, all the "what ifs" just added to my grief. I could have driven myself crazy, and thought I was, until I came to a place of acceptance of what had happened. It's hard to envision living life in a happy way again when one we love so much has left this world for another. My Goliath was such a big part in my everyday world for nearly 11 years. When he passed away so suddenly, my world was turned upside down. I couldn't make heads or tails of anything and was hardly in a postion to make important decisions. Somehow I found my way to work through the deep sadness and grief, after I gave up on trying to find a way around it. I had to allow myself whatever time it would take to work through what I was feeling and take each day one at a time. Working toward staying in the "here and now" helped me a great deal. Though I will always cherish the past and dream of tomorrow, it is this day I cling to the most.

Perhaps in time you will bring a another special furbaby into your life. You will know when it is the right time for you. It sounds like there may be more for you to work through first before making a decision on what might be in your future. Each person is different in how they manage their own pain, grief, and picking up the pieces of their broken hearts. What works for some may not work for another. I chose to wait til after I was more at peace with Goliath's death before I brought another puppy into my heart and home. These little ones are all so special in their unique ways. There will never be another Goliath just as there will never be another Chickie. BUT, now that there is another furry love in my life there will never be another like him either, nor will there ever be another like my Gidget. I love Gidget & Browser each day and shower them with all the warmth and love I have in me to give. Goliath wouldn't have it any other way.

Much love and hugs of comfort from my heart to yours,
Beth

Give yourself time Adriane. Your loss of Chickie is still in the rawest state. Keep coming to LS and share what is in your heart and on your mind.

Chickie,

Today makes two very long and hard months since we had to let you go. Not a day goes by that I don't ache in my heart to have you in my arms for just another moment. I miss you so much that I can barely stand it sometimes. I know things are better for you now and that you are in a great place--probably getting really high on catnip every day, laying in the sun, eating grass because now you get to be outside whenever you want. You probably also have an endless supply of yogurt and shrimp! I miss our special times together, just the two of us laying on the couch snuggling and loving. My heart still breaks a little each day when you aren't there to greet me when I get home each day. I know you are looking over me and that, at some point, you will decide it is time for another kitty for me--just not yet--I don't want another kitty yet, I just want you Sweet girl, please enjoy every moment and savor all of the things that you have now. Make lots of friends up there and keep everyone in line-I know it's what you love to do! I look forward to the moment when we will see each other again! Much love and lots of kitty kisses.

Adriane (mom)

PS--Levi still misses you too and sends his love--he wishes you were here to give him one more good swat on the nose!

Chick-chick,

Over three very long months now and my heart still hurts. It is getting to a point now where it it not so raw and acute, but still aches a little every day. My home-office days are the worst--how I miss fighting with you over desk space and who got to drink the glass of ice water always on the desk (I still claim that it is mine!) I miss having you greet me at the door when I get home, impatiently letting me know that I had left you for too long. I still miss your purring warmth every night at cuddle time while watching TV. You were the best kitty ever and the sweetest girl--there will never be anyone else who compares to you. You are truly one of a kind. You will always hold a piece of my heart. I love you so much and hope and pray every day that you are happy and can't wait for the day to hold you in my arms again.

Hugs and kisses!

A

there will never be anyone else who compares to you.


Absolutely, positively, 100% true. She is truly one of a kind. Her ways are hers alone and she shared them with you. It is the good memories that help us so very much.

She hears every word you say...cause our Angels are ALWAYS listening.

Hugs to you and your Angel.

Judy

Baby Girl,

Tomorrow will be 4 VERY long and sad months without you here. Mondays are always the worst for numerous reasons...I lost you on a Monday and I am in my office all day without you there helping me out, so it gets pretty lonely. Some days, it seems like ages since I have had you purring and loving in my arms, and other times it just seems like yesterday. I miss you and think about you every day. You can't possibly know how much I miss you. The pain is getting to where it isn't quite so raw and sharp, but it is definitely still there.

I need your help and guidance. I am starting to entertain the thought of a new kitten. I knew I missed you, but didn't realize how much fullness you brought to my life and the complete and total pure love that we had between us until we went to friends' house. We had hung out with them before, but never at their house. They have a kitty, Cleo, who reminded me so much of you. I had told your daddy that we would wait until we bought a house to get another kitten, but when Cleo jumped up in my lap, attached himself to my leg with his front claws and purred like there was no tomorrow, I knew I needed that furry, purry sweet love in my life again. Maybe that was my sign from you, I don't know. I just wish you would make it more clear to me. I am so jealous of all these people who seem to have gotten such clear signs from their babies. Your daddy and I will be taking our honeymoon next week (finally!) and when we get back, will be looking for another kitten. That is the part where I need your help, Baby. I already looked at a few, but knew they weren't the right ones for me. Please guide me to another love-bug. I need the spunk, and the talkiness, and the pure love like what we had. I know no other kitty will ever have the same kind of bond with me that I had with you, but please open my heart so that I know for sure when the right baby finds me.

Chickie, I miss you more than you will ever know and you will always hold a piece of my heart. I look forward to the day that I can hold you in my arms again and my heart will once again be whole. Until that day, my dear, hold that piece of my heart close to yours and protect it. Have fun keeping all of the other babies in line and letting them know who is the biggest princess-priss-pot out there and enjoy being healthy and whole once more. I love you so much.

Momma Adriane

Dear Adriane,

Trust that your sweet Chickie will see to it that another special kitten will light up your life again. I remember so well when I came upon a time of entertaining the idea of another puppylove in my life. Before I knew it......Browser fell straight out of Heaven and right into my heart and home. I've never doubted for one second that he was the right choice for us and us for him. New babies that come into our lives and hearts never diminish the loving sweet memories we have of our special ones who have gone before them. We make days worth remembering anew.

I'll be watching to see when your thoughts of entertainment blossom into a dream come true. Chickie wouldn't have it any other way because she knows just how much love you have left in your heart.

Hugs of love on this special 4 month angelversary,
Beth

Hi, Adriane

I remember you talking to me about my Lucky. The connection was in his eyes. When I looked in his eyes...I knew I wanted to look into them forever...in my home.

you said:
Please guide me to another love-bug. I need the spunk, and the talkiness, and the pure love like what we had. I know no other kitty will ever have the same kind of bond with me that I had with you, but please open my heart so that I know for sure when the right baby finds me.

You will definitely know for sure when the right baby finds you..and you can be sure your Angel will see to it you and the right one will find each other.

I understand the missing you spoke about and although Lucky is not my boy, he fills the emptiness which is what I needed.

Keep looking....your heart is open and your Angel is watching.
Judy

Chickie,

Wow. I can't believe it has been 6 months. Sometimes, it seems like yesterday that you were curled up on the couch with me purring your head off, and other times, the pain seems still so sharp and raw. Fortunately, the memories of you curled against me are enough to get me through the harder times when it hurts so bad. There will never be another kitty who can capture my heart like you did. So much has happened in the last 6 months--Jen moved back to North Carolina, Grandpa died, and Stacy and I have started to look for a house. I so wish you could have been here to be a part of that. I was really looking forward to getting you one of those giant kitty perches with multiple levels and putting it right by the window so you could watch the birds and squirrels--but I know that you have access to watch all of the little critters you want and are so happy right now, and free of pain and discomfort.

The strangest thing has happened just in the last month and a half--on more than one occasion, I would almost swear that I saw you prance from the kitchen into my office. To the point where I actually got up and glanced into the office. It was so bizarre. I still want your help in letting me know when it is time for the next furbaby--just wait til Daddy and I move into a house where there is a little more room! I took Levi to the vet today for his comprehensive exam and of course had to look at the kitties they had for adoption. One looked so much like you--same size, very similar coloring (a little darker) and same medium-to-long hair. I think it would be best for me (and a new kitty) to get one that doesn't look so much like you though because I am afraid I would always compare to you, but whatever you think is best. I am confident that when it is right, they will capture a little of my heart right away like you did.

Baby girl, I still love you and miss you more than ever. I want you to enjoy every second at the bridge until I get there, but when that time comes, I fully expect you to come prancing and stomping right up to me and jump into my arms and never leave! I didn't forget about you last month, but that was when everything was going on with Grandpa. Lots of love and kitty-kisses!

Adriane

I just wanted to write and let you know I am sorry for your loss. I just started writing on these boards a few days ago. We had to put our little 8 month old kitty cat (Joey) to sleep this past Tuesday, 5/19. So tomorrow is only 1 week. We had only just adopted him at the end of January, so sadly we only had about 4 months with our little man.
I was reading through your posts from the beginning, and they were very touching. I have also been writing letters to Joey, and it does help. We had some pictures printed out and my hope is to work on a little photo album tomorrow evening. It is so sad and so hard, but it's been helpful to talk to others on these boards. I hope that you have also found it helpful as you've started to heal a little bit. I will keep this short, as I don't know how often you still check in here, but again, I'm sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.
Lauren

Chick-Chick

Why is it that every month, on your angelversary, I seem compelled to get on this site? Is that your sign to me? Are you guiding me here? Don't get me wrong, I still think about you every day and miss you like crazy, but it just seems like I get on this website and then realize what the date it. It is still tough without you here. I wish you were here to cuddle with me or to fuss at me and throw a fit because you can see a tiny bit of the bottom of your food bowl even though it is nearly full! I still miss your purr (constant motor going) and your high-pitched meow that sounded like you were saying boooo. You were amazing and you took a piece of my heart with you that no other kitty will be able to fill. I know you will guide me when the time is right for me to get another kitty and that one will have a piece of my heart too, but it won't compare to you. You were one of a kind. I love you bunches.

Hugs and Kitty-Kisses

A

truly beautiful
elaine

Baby Girl,

Today marks 11 months since I have held you in my arms. This last year has been filled with some of the best and worst things that have ever happened to me..got married and bought a house (more on that) and lost both you and Grandpa (by far the hardest things I have had to go through) I guess that without the bad, we don't appreciate the good. So much has happened since I last wrote to you. I still think about you every day and miss you so much. You are truly irreplaceable and have stolen a piece of my heart. I think there is a missing piece of me that won't be whole until I hold you in my arms again. Things have become more bearable. As they say, time heals all wounds (at least softens them signigicantly!)

Your Daddy and I finally bought a house and have been here about two months. You would love it. There are lots of windows to look out and so much more space than our apartment. There would be so many places for you to snuggle up for the day. There are stairs that you could have played on as well. What is it with cats and stairs anyways? I really wanted you to have a house with plenty of space while you were here. I am so sorry that I wasn't able to make that happen sooner.

We also added another addition to the family. I truly believe that you were leading us to do that (especially your Daddy...he knew I wanted another kitty eventually, but he just decided it was time and we went to the shelter to get one). I didn't want one that looked like you at all since I knew you were one of a kind. We got a little orange and white tabby girl named Lucy (Lucifer when she is being really bad, which seems to be often) She makes us laugh every day because she is so goofy. she also gets the best of us often because she is so naughty. I know that I got you at a really similar age, but I really don't remember you being so bad. She gets into everything...and I do mean everything. And she is a kleptomaniac..she has stolen gloves, socks, 33hose, paper clips, bottle caps, Levi's toys, the list goes on and on. She bugs the hell out of Levi, but I think part of him likes it too. He was used to you bossing him around, but for the most part, not getting too involved. You were already a year and a half old when he was a puppy so he has never been around a kitten. She first discovered his tail and has been attacking it ever since. I think she views him as her big brother and she always wants to be around him. She lays next to him on his bed, on the couch, and follows him all around the house. He was totally fine with that and seemed to even enjoy it, but he drew the line at letting her groom him. She is definitely more of a biter/scratcher than you ever were. She seems much more tomboyish. You were always such a sweet, cuddly girl. She likes to cuddle, but on her terms and she likes to burrow under the covers and snuggle (which makes us a little nervous, given her obvious delight in attacking anything that moves...not sure I trust her under the covers with my toes!)

Thank you so much baby girl for leading us to her and for teaching me so much about unconditional love. You have given me so much joy and love throughout the years and it will stay with me forever. I really do miss you each and every day and look forward to holding you in my arms again and making my heart completely whole again.

Lots of hugs and kitty kisses,

Adriane (Mom)