Hi,
I just wanted to check in and say it has been nearly 2 weeks since my girl went "home" and I now realize a new chapter of my life has begun.
Life w/her and my other 2 dogs (still surviving) that last 12 years was something wonderful, I now realize she was truly the "life of the party" and the bridge between my other dogs.
She was always barking and wagging that 100lb body and now I see very clearly just how happy she was and how happy she made everyone.
12 years old (born with) severe hip dysplasia, she never allowed her "disability" to stop her.. and although she had to be in pain, you wouldn't know it.
I have had a very painful chronic disease for nearly 3 years which has nearly consumed me at times and now I realize I learned something from her. She never seemed sad or angry or upset that her hips didn't work perfectly, she lived life to the fullest everyday, running (with a hop because she couldn't run normally) and swimming and playing and so vocal and so happy, with a silly constant "smile" - just pure joy.
It is a shame many breeder's and pet stores, animal rescue etc., will put dogs to sleep if they find they have hip dysplaysia, with proper care, they can live happy full, long lives as she proved!
Now w/her gone - it seems so quiet in my home, my dogs look for her and seem depressed, sleeping a lot and now just starting to eat normally again.
I never realized how much sunshine she brought into this home, she was playful like a puppy up until the last days she couldn't walk anymore, she "smiled", she yawned with utter loudness - she was perfect. And even when she couldn't walk, she was joyful, but frustrated and in pain and the horrible decision we had to make.
The first week I think I had a "protective" wall up, feeling really emotionless, crying sometimes..but almost in denial...now week 2 - my heart aches like never before. We all miss her so much. Reality has set in.
I am so happy I can say we gave her an excellent home, the best food, the best care, sleeping in a bed she loved right next to us, never spent a night outdoors ever and never spent a night without us.... she was loved and always will be.
Instead of thinking of this as the end, I must believe it is only the beginning for her, I know she is whole and running and barking, I KNOW that and what is funny, I have found posts here that read "I hope" to see my pet again, etc., I can't imagine "hoping" - rest assured you will.
I wanted to leave you with an interesting site of NDE's (near death experiences of people) who met up with their animals in heaven. Maybe these have been posted before, but if not, I hope they will be of help to you.
I cry because I miss her, but I have never doubted I won't see my pets again...heaven without my pets, well that wouldn't be heaven at all. I tell my surviving dogs, "She is in a beautiful place and she can't come back here, but one day we will go there and we will all live (truly) happily ever after.
Links of interest I have found:
7 stages of grief: http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html
Click on the names, Jan Price, Lynn to read their NDE's and being reunited with their pets. Notice on the right column, books that may also help:
http://www.near-death.com/animals.html
1 minute "animal communicator" tells that animals have eternal spirits: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9lG_iUK_yU
For all of us who mourn, may we be comforted.
God bless,
Dana