We had to say good-bye to my beloved Casey on Thursday the 13th. He was diagnosed with Lung cancer on Oct 24th. We were told the cancer had progressed to far for any kind of treatment by our Vet. We were devistated by the news, he seemed fine. We took him home and showered him with treats and love. Last Tuesday we noticed his breathing was getting labored and by Wednesday evening it had become worse. Casey's condition worsened overnight. Casey always slept with us, but on this night he slept on the floor next to my husband. In the morning he went onto his kitty condo and started gasping for air (this lasted only a short period of time, but we knew what we had to do). We called the vet immediately to make that dreaded appointment. When it was time to leave I gently picked Casey up and wrapped him in a towel. He never liked to be picked up, so he tried to get away from me, which broke my heart. As we got the door he turned and tried to bite me (the first time ever). I held him close and told him I loved him. He did not like going outside which made the trip harder. I was unable to see my usual vet, but the vet that was there was extremely kind. I have cried every day since. I had 12 wonderful years with him. I know we made the right decision - the humane one, but my heart is broken. I was not ready to say good-bye. He was my first cat and I feel empty without him. I do have three other cats and a dog the I love dearly, but Casey was my special little boy. I do take comfort in knowing I will be reunited with him one day.

I know how you are feeling. Especially the cir%%stances. My Little Guy was an emergency in Sept of 07. We suspected cancer but only exploratory surgery could tell and something was going on but we kept hoping it was not cancer. We lost his twin brother to cancer in 2002...that was all within a week's time.

Even though all of these sweethearts are very special....there can be one that just has a little extra we are drawn to.

It is devastating to lose them. It can be made worse when it is fast and unexpected..as far as the day and time.

It is heartbreaking to see one of our special ones not feeling well. Especially the breathing...that was the most terrible thing about my Little Guy.

It is also heartbreaking to scoop them up to rush to the vet hospital to ...get them HELP
....not to...lose them.

But we always know we must do what is best for them...not for us. We have to make the decision they cannot make for themselves....it is never easy...even when we know they are suffering..it is still never easy.

I'm so sorry about your boy. I am glad you had a number of years with him even though we all know we wish it to be forever. It is forever in our hearts and memories.

I put pictures of my boy in each room so that is there when I walk into the room. I put my favorite picture of him lying on the top of a couch looking right into the camera and into my eyes..as my desktop wallpaper. That way each morning I turn it on, he is with me and when I turn it off..I say goodnight to him...knowing that he will be there for me the next morning and that will last forever.

Hugs.....for you and your family and for Casey....a beautiful Angel who will always be in your heart and therefore a part of you that can never be taken away. He will watch over you for all time.

Judy

HI, Karen, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Casey. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the cir%%stances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. This grief journey is a one day at a time journey, Karen. Some days will seem easier while others will be a struggle to get through emotionally. Losing a beloved companion is painful both physically and emotionally, so it is important for you to do whatever you feel is appropriate in order to help you bridge the adjustment to the physical absence of your beloved Casey. When my number one kitty son Eli joined the angels almost 2 years ago, I would hold onto one of his blankets and would sleep with his collar under my pillow. It feels in the beginning like your heart has been ripped out of your body - - like your Casey has taken a part of you with her. And she has - - the part of you that you shared only with her. Casey gave you her unconditional love and undivided attention and you surrendered yourself to her without reservation. Hopefully as you progress in your healing journey you will come to realize that Casey's sweet living Spirit is still with you. The bond of love you shared is as strong as it always has been surpassing time and space, and no one and nothing can ever take that away from you. Please know you are among friends here who understand this grief you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Karen, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I am so sorry for your loss. It's never easy. Knowing they are sick or getting hurt. You were blessed to have had him all those years. He will be in your heart forever. You made the right decision at the right time and there will be sadness for the loss, but there won't be any guilt, which in some ways is the hardest to get thru. Many hugs.. Ann

Thank you all for your support. I am so glad I found this site. It helps to know there are so many kind people out there that understand (and care about) what I am going through.

I had a bad night last night. I picked up some picures of Casey, which led to a converstion with my husband. We were talking about all the little things Casey would do. If you were playing with him and you stopped and put the toy in a drawer he would get up on his hind legs and pull the drawer open and reach his paw into the drawer. He also had a habit of opening the kitchen cupboard under the sink (which my dad did not believe me until he saw him), he would then go investigating. My husband called him the most curious cat he had ever met, inspecting everything. Our converstation led me to tears and I wonder when they will stop. I wake up early in the morning unable to sleep just thinking about my little boy. Last night I heard my Athena meowing in the living room (something she has never done) I jump out of bed and she was sitting next to Casey's favorite rug, it broke my heart.

Hi, Karen, this grief journey is a one day at a time journey, unfortunately. There is no easy way to get through it - - no fast forward buttons to press to speed up the process through the difficult days. Yes, I know how your heart broke when you saw Athena. My little kitty boy, Noah, was very heartbroken when his big adopted kitty brother went home to the angels. He mourned Eli's physical absence for a very long time. He slept on one of Eli's comforters until this summer. I had not washed the comforter since Eli died just so that Noah could snuggle down into something that still had his big kitty brother's scent on it. Noah finally abandoned the comforter a couple of months ago and is now snuggling with me at night. He still misses his big brother, as do I, but Noah is now beginning to focus on defining who HE is for his sweet precious individual self, and I'm glad to see him doing that. Athena and your other furkids will probably need some extra attention to help them in their adjustment, and comforting them will help them comfort you. And we are here for you, Karen, for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

It is one week today that we lost our Casey. I know with time it will be easier, but I woke up with that sickening feeling. Even though I know we did the right thing, I sometime feel that I killed my cat. I wonder what was he thinking that day. I know he was very ill and I know that he looked to me to make things better, as I was always able to do in the past, but he had cancer and there was nothing I could do and felt helpless. I try to take comfort in knowing that we had 12 wonderful years and I know from reading many people's post, I was blessed with so many. I miss he jumping on the bed in the morning watching me get ready for work. We would play a little with my socks before I would put them on. I miss morning and evening feedings of the canned food, it hurts to only have to get three bowls ready and he would always be the most excited to get it.

My vets office sent me a wonderful card and included a paw print that they made for me. That caused the tears to roll again, but I know someday that little paw print will treasured. I am dreading the day when they call for me to pick up his ashes, but in another way I think I will take some comfort in bringing him home again. I one day want to have all of my pets laid to rest with me (I hope that does not sound strange).

I really appreciate everyone's words of support and taking the time to read my story.

It has been over two weeks now since we lost Casey. The vets office called and his ashes are back. I can't bring myself to go get them, so my husband will do it after work today. It is still so hard. When feeding time comes and we have to set out one less bowl. I still can not believe he is gone. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I will be doing something a be feeling pretty good and thoughts of him will come rushing in. With the cancer, his death came so quickly and with us not having a clue how sick he was, I still feel guilty that we did not catch it in time to at least be able to treat him.

I am so sorry for your loss Karen of your boy Casey. The pain of losing ones we love so much is beyond description. It is 13 1/2 weeks since my boy left and still as I write this the tears well up in my eyes and I cry yet again for the most beautiful one I have ever known. Not making his breakfast and his tea also cause great pain. Last night was the first time since he has been gone that I cooked chicken for tea and it was awful not doing his chicken for him. Nothing is the same without them. Be so gentle with yourself at this time. May you and your husband find solace in each others arms and the rest of your family also be comforted at this time.

Wendi.