I don't really know how this works, but it helps me reading all the posts.

I lost my 18 year old beautiful Mimi on 7/31/08; luckily,she was not sick and I think she just wore out. But the grief I am feeling on a daily basis is so overwhelming, I sometimes wonder if it will ever be better. She was the love of my life; and you can't talk about the loss of a pet with just anyone.

I am still crying every day; feeling guilty (was she suffering and I didn't know it?; was I right to have her put to sleep?)

And I don't want to let go of the grief because I'm afraid I will forget her. My heart is broken. I have lost 2 other cats who meant the world to me, but this is the worst. I walk into my house and say "WHY AREN'T YOU HERE?? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH ME ALWAYS". I know she is in cat heaven and a kitten again; I just miss her so much.

At the same time, I am so blessed to have such an incredible animal as my companion for so many years.

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I know how you feel. I lost my Little Guy last year..he was the last of 3 and my favorite boy. I guess cause he got sick as a kitten but fought it and survived for over 16 1/2 years.

I know the emptiness of a home without him. The silence is truly deafening.

Don't worry about letting go of the grief because, believe me, you never will forget her! Ever!

In fact, the pain that lessens in time...never leaves completely because it is so much a part of missing them..and we will miss them forever just as we will love them forever. That is just a fact.

The key to healing is one day at a time and baby steps. Also, do what makes you feel better to do. If it is cry, then cry. If it is vent, then come here and post here in your topic and pour out your thoughts and feelings.

Slowly, we find that if we push away a sadness thought by thinking of a good happy moment with our best friend...it helps.

Do you have a picture of Mimi you could post here? Pictures do make you feel better as they are a reminder of a happy, healthy time...the kind of memory to concentrate on.

I am sorry you have the emptiness now. Mimi must have been your only furbaby like Little Guy was my last one.....the one that truly leaves the home empty.

But I have pictures of my boy in each room so I see him whenever I enter or leave a room.
I have one of my favorites as my desktop wallpaper so each morning I look into his eyes when I turn on my computer and I say goodnight until tomorrow when I turn it off. He can never leave me because I made sure I have reminders everywhere...I always want to look into his eyes.

After a while I could not take the empty home and to stop my crying...I needed a distraction and wound up at the local SPCA adopting a cat (who looks like my boy) last December.
That was my next step that helped me a lot.

Come and talk anytime. There are many here who are listening. Just know you are not alone.
Everything you feel is and has been felt here many times over so you know the people here
know exactly how you feel and if anyone's way of dealing with these feelings helps you to deal with yours and makes everything easier....that's what all this is about...helping each other through the pain.

Hugs and peace. Your Mimi is a beautiful Angel who will never leave you as she is a part of you and your heart. She is with you forever.

Judy

I'm so sorry for your loss. You have to focus on the last part of your post. How lucky you are to have had her so many years. I was just posting last night the very same thing you mentioned about if you stop grieving we'll forget them. But you don't: you never do. The love is too strong to let them go. We just move forward in life. They are not here in the physical sense and that is so very hard for us. But they are always around to talk to, to remember. I do believe they hear our cries too, for when you least expect it, something of theirs will pop up. It could be fur, or a toy, or just a thought of them you had forgotten about...Lately, I'm slowly accepting my loss(it's been over 5mo now) and sometimes I"ll come across a post, which doesn't have to be directed to me, just of others here and someone will say something that really sticks with me and helps me get thru some really bad days. Or some article someone may find and share. That is what's so helpful about this site, not only does everyone understand and sympathize with what you are going thru, but you don't have to wait for a response to you, just read a few posts, add your thoughts if you wish, and in time you will be able to make sense and deal with your feelings.
I'll give you an example of what I mean, if I may. The guilt of putting my Arthur down was driving me crazy, how could I have done such a horrible thing. I kept going back to that last day, over and over, I just wanted to forget it. I kept reliving how I felt, totally numb, I had no guilt that day. I did it to take my baby out of pain. Then, it's back, how could I have not done more to save him., He was too hurt, he was shutting down..Then, I read an article on euthenization and one thing it said was how we go back to remember why we did what we did..I did it without knowing why, now I know why. The guilt comes after...So, in the mean time, I hope you find answers and comfort here. It's a good place for you to be right now. You truely are not alone.. Hugs..Ann

Bobbi,

You don't have to worry about giving up the grief as you will always remember the good times you had with Mimi. Grief is just our way of dealing with the loss. It has nothing to do with what we carry in our hearts. When you are ready to move past the grief it will be ok. A part of Mimi will always be with you. She would want you to be happy and would probably be distressed to know you are in pain.

It is difficult to find our way through the process of saying goodbye but it has to be done. Life dictates that we pay homage to those we lose and then we have to close that door and move on to new experiences. It doesn't mean you are giving up Mimi. I hope that all of our posts give you some solace and help you to reach peace with this traumatic event.

Take care,
Ken Albin

I am sorry for the loss of your beautiful Mimi. The other posts have said it all. Many of us feel the way you are feeling. The grief is overwhelming and exhausting. And I too have said exactly what you have "WHY AREN'T YOU HERE?? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH ME ALWAYS" My boy was the love of my life, and my heart is still breaking often. And yet I am too thankful for him choosing me and for our 17 years together. Come here often and share, because people here really do care and do understand - I know.
Hug.
Wendi.