My beautiful german shep/akita has had almost 12 perfect years w/us. She has lived her entire life w/severe hip dysplasia.

As she aged we rarely took her w/our other 2 dogs to the park, it involves loading them into an SUV and you have to be quick, she'd put her front paws up and we quickly lift her rear in. It ALWAYS worked out.

Well, we got down to taking her once a month, we could see her slowing down. On the spur of the moment last week, I decided to let her go with us...something I may regret the rest of my life, I blame ME.

She put her paws up to get into the car and it was like slow motion, I saw it coming, my husband didn't get her up in time and she collapsed straight down onto her feet.

We didn't realize the severity of what happened, got her in the car...at the park I realized she couldn't walk well at all I told my husband we gotta get her home. We did, she fell in the car as well on the way back. When we got home her back legs wouldn't hold her. We quickly slung her with a nearby towel took her in the house. She rested seemed fine otherwise - gave her a Previcox and she slept for about 12 hours - MIRACULOUSLY the next morning she was up and walking, navigating even the stairs - for 3 days.

THEN - during 4 the night something happened, we were asleep, apparently she took another fall and has not been able to walk for a week.

We took her to the vet, she said her rear leg has no neuro function, possibly a slipped disk, she cannot walk on 3 legs the hip is too degenerated. We brought her home and hoped it would heal...it has only been a few days and we are seriously physically injured lugging our girl up and down stairs, slinging to go out and pee..my Lord, 100 lbs feels like 500 lbs.

It seems we have no choice but to put her to sleep - my husband, son and I are exhausted, hurt physically from this and our sweet girl is well in every other way, but we have tried and cannot go on.

I so feel had I never opened the door to let her go w/us - I KNOW she would be fine, this is my fault, I wanted her to have some fun - but instead tragedy struck.

It is time to do the unthinkable, we love her SO MUCH - she sleeps w/us, she is so vocal and so human like, she is precious, I can't imagine saying goodbye now over ONE leg that prevents her from walking - my fault - God, how do I live with myself? How do I set the date to take her back to the vet and say goodbye forever.

I feel near collapse - I am sick to begin with w/an neuro disease similar to MS and if I were stronger I'd take care of her forever like this - I am sick someone help - tell me how do I get through all of this?

Thank you -
Kodiak's mom

Hi Kodiak's Mom, I'm so sorry to hear your story, however I do not feel this is in anyway your fault. You said you wanted her to have fun. It was an accident. I said once wouldn't life be wonderful if we could forsee the future in everyday, to take advange of the good and avoid the bad. But we can't. I've gone thru your guilt too. But I know what happened to my Arthur wasn't my fault. Still I say if only I did this or that 1 or 2 minutes earlier or later. I don't know too much about dogs, but do know you german shepards tend to have many problem relating to the back legs/hip area, and most don't get past 10 yrs. You didn't do this on purpose, it could have happened anyways, anywhere, at anytime. You are facing a very hard challenge. When. I guess the time will be right when you get exhausted watching HER get exhausted. The hardest thing to do in life is to let something go that we want to have forever. But with her deteriating health it is the best, most loving thing we can do. It doesn't seem it now, but in time when you look back you will agree. Please take time to read the article in Pet Loss Support and Resourses about euthenization. B4 I read it, I found myself reliving that last day, to remember why I did what I did. The article mentions doing just that. Time does help the heart heal, although we never forget, and always remember the happy and healthy days we made eachother happy. May your God give you the strength you need to get thru this difficult time.. My thoughts and prayers are with you.. Ann

I am so sorry to read about Kodiak. I know she is a very special girl.

There is a topic here:
http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.ph...233&hl=cart

where a member had a dog who needed a cart attached so she could walk. I don't know if something like that is possible to help Kodiak. Does your vet have any suggestions?

It is wonderfully amazing you were able to have her for 12 years with hip dysplasia. Years ago a neighbor of mine had to put a puppy down due to that and she never got another Shepherd it so devastated her. I didn't know they could survive having that.

I love German Shepherds...I had 2 wonderful girls and a part boxer/shepherd I thought of as a golden shepherd. They left for reasons other than hip dysplasia. ...Epilepsy for one..cancer for one...and the last one, my girl, Lady, left a number of years ago. Some of what you are saying reminded me of her.

About age 10 or 12 she had a spinal cord problem..I was told. She had her dog house in our back yard and spent most of her time in the yard..she even had her own swimming pool which she loved in the summer. I noticed her legs would become spastic and rigid and was told it was her spinal cord. She was not in pain at all. She ate great and played as well as she could.
She never failed to do her business where she was trained..even though when a leg went into a spasm..it stiffened and she had to wait for it to unstiffen. For a while medication seemed to help her (about a year on steroids I think). But then it stopped helping her.

I felt so sorry for her when she couldn't move due to spastic leg motion. I asked the vet how to decide when to do something since there was no cure. He said when her quality of life is gone.
Her dignity. One day I heard a noise from her dog house and saw she was desperately trying to get out of it but her legs were straight out and she couldn't bend them to get out the opening.
Well, it turned out...she needed to do a bowel movement and wanted to get out and do it where she was trained to go..but her legs wouldn't get her out and we could not help her. So she went in there and had to stay in there with the BM until her legs relaxed and she could get out and we could clean it out. The look in her eyes was heartbreaking. She didn't want to lie in there like that.

So we took her to the vet and spoke to him about any cure, any hope. She was being crippled and we could not help. She was in no pain and in good physical condition for age 12. But our back yard had a swimming pool also and we did not want to feel she could fall in when her condition came on..and drown cause she couldn't move her legs. But it was the picture of her lying in that doghouse in her BM with those sad eyes..so helpless...that made the decision for us. It is never an easy decision but if there is no cure....no way to improve their quality of life and especially as you say...it is physically so hard on you and your husband to help her...you talk about it all and try to prepare yourself for the decision.

Keep her as long as you feel you need to and are able to but don't feel bad if you decide to make the decision...it is the time when you feel she needs the peace and so do the both of you.
It will never be an easy decision to make no matter what the cir%%stances.

I told you about my girl because it felt so similar in that one feels as long as they are not in pain and are eating great and lick and love us...we shouldn't have to make the decision. But then we have to look at their quality of life and sometimes how that affects our quality of life and just know that eventually the time will be coming. It just comes when you decide it is time and feel you cannot put it off. But I understand keeping her as long as possible and knowing you have done all you can for her. What she has is a disease you are not responsible for.

I have always talked it over with my vet as to what the future is that he/she sees...that can help make the decision.

If I make an appointment to go talk to my vet....I always tell myself...that I can always change my mind...I can go and talk and leave with my girl. I can change my mind until I am there and have given permission. But I always have to remember....would I be changing my mind for her or for me and if for me....what is her quality of life? It just helps me to make the trip knowing I always truly have the choice.

Maybe a talk with your vet about anything that could help her...I guess surgery is out? I wish she could use a cart like the link I put above worked for that sweet girl.

My prayers are with you and your husband and son, and with Kodiak. I am so glad you had her for that many years...it is never long enough..but it is good to have had them. We all know there will come a time they will have to leave and we never want them to. It is harder if we feel they are not in pain but they depend on us to do what is best for them.

I would ask the vet for any hope of helping her in any way...even maybe a cart?

They are such beautiful souls. Just know if you have checked everything else that is possible and are left with what is happening now as all that is left and ask if she has any pain from the hip problem..(if a human had a slipped disk...surgery can be done but I don't know about a dog). Then the right time is when you all agree it is time. And I understand wanting to wait and keep her as long as you feel you can.

Prayers and hugs,
Judy

Hi, Kodiak's Mom, I am just being able to read your post as my ISP was down last night. I am so sorry for what you are going through with Kodiak. As I was reading through your post I was thinking exactly the same thing that Judy has already mentioned: Doggie wheels for Kodiak. There is also a stroller you can get so that you can still take her for walks - - but she will be in the stroller enjoying the scenery and your company. You can look for a stroller on the internet. Just type in Pet Strollers and you'll get several links you can check out. Also, while adjustments are difficult to make, you can ease the transitions. My Black Lab who will be 14 years old next week is now not allowed to take the stairs because he has neurological degeneration in his feet as well which makes his balance unsteady. So, when I am not home I gate the stairs off so that he will not be tempted to try to take the stairs. I also have ramps he can use to get up and down off the furniture and I have a ramp that I have in the car for him to use to get into and out of the car. You can find these ramps by typing in Pet Ramps and you'll get several links to check out. This will help both you and Kodiak with transportation. Give Kodiak and you as much time as possible to come to the quality of life decisions. And getting a second opinion is always an option, too. This is not a negative reflection of the good rapport you have with your primary vet - - but sometimes an objective evaluation can offer ideas and options we never would have thought of - - until perhaps "after the fact." It is important for you to do as much as you can for Kodiak and you so that the "regrets" are non-existent or at least significantly diminshed after Kodiak is no longer physically with you. Kodiak's Mom, accidents happen. Our furkids are so very forgiving and understand this far more than we do. So, please don't berate yourself for what happened. The most important thing to focus on is what you can do to help both Kodiak and you NOW. Please know you are not alone in this difficult time, Kodiak's Mom. We are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you and Kodiak are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you so much for your support - I just cry and cry and I can't even sleep - I can't eat, I can't think, I can hardly breathe.

Ann - yes dogs w/hip dysplasia can live long happy lives as Kodiak has proven. She was born with this, I remember her as a puppy on walks she'd have to lie down. But she has always learned to compensate for this "disability" spunky and happy, but absolutely needs a family that can accommodate all those years and medications, even heating pads or electric blankets, always inside when it was cold etc. The vet always told us to keep her weight down w/ribs slightly showing as this would bring longevity, she got over weight a few times, but we always walked her and kept her active so the muscles around her hips remained strong - no running allowed the vet always said, ha! impossible to stop her! But yes - she is strong (was, is?) and amazed me. Just two weeks ago I said to my husband this dog is amazing with those hips so bad (I mean no sockets at all hardly in the hips) she is going to live until she is 15....yeah, if I only knew within a week all that would change....and still the hips are holding, something neuro is wrong...????

We took her when she was about 6 years old to a University Vet Hospital to have hip replacement surgery, but they said she was not a candidate, as she had no depth to where the new ball and joint could fit in...it is quite miraculous she has lived this long and very happily so, but it doesn't make this easier as I am sure you know - 20 years would be too short.

I talked w/the "big guy" the owner of the vet hospital - he really is the best in our city. Although he did not exam her himself (he is mostly retired) he went over all the labs, xrays, etc., and said she has osteoarthritis, but doesn't know why the back leg stopped working, the foot is knuckling and the leg seems disconnected and will swing in odd directions, but he said even the hip is still in joint!! I can't believe that. That only makes this harder and so mysterious he said it is obviously a neuro problem. He thought it was good we took her home to give it time - he said a week should tell the story. Sunday will be a week.

The day is fast approaching and although I know I don't have to do anything I can't - I look at her struggling now - she is worn out even if we take her outside for a few moments. She is having "accidents" now in the house - as she won't go on command anymore, she doesn't like the sling. The vet said this can be very hard on a house broken dog, they don't like having these accidents on themselves and it is stressful for her (for me, up all night changing her bedding now). She hasn't lost control of bowel or bladder she just won't go when we tell her too - it is hard to balance on her two front legs, the back leg that is good, isn't helping much at all because of the dysplasia and arthritis.

What kills me more - I have another Shep 11 years old this month and she is getting up slowly and I know she is limited in her time as well - I also have a smaller dog that absolutely LOVES Kodiak - she jumps for joy when Kodiak comes out to play and swim in our pool too (ironic Judy).

The cart idea we spoke to the vet about and they discouraged it only because they said she can't be on her feet all the time and we are essentially in the same boat. We have to unhook her from the cart to lie down, lift her in it to go outside and up and down all day....I have seriously considered this and if I live in a one story house this would be ideal. She absolutely MUST be upstairs on her bed sleeping right next to my husband so gating her downstairs, she would never handle.

Every option seems exciting at first and then we realize how tired she looks using those two front legs, she is worn out from one week of this.

I hoped the anti inflammatory would take down any swelling and give her back her leg - but nothing yet - prayers not answered.

I am grateful for you, people who understand that our pets are more than "animals" - they are our loved ones and losing her (unless God moves and heals hers now) will be devastating. I absolutely see myself collapsing.

And then to think my other Shep is so close in age - makes me nauseated. My youngest and smallest who loves Kodiak is so stressed from all the action of having to sling her quickly get her outside and it really is a huge ordeal all 3 of us have to be there to set it up quickly, sling the leg that is dragging - it is a nightmare. I worry about Angel (the one who loves her so much).

Do animals understand death in a sense - do they know she may not be with us much longer?

The whole situation is like a bad dream.

And you all have been so kind and given great advice and I myself have said no matter how long they live, it is NEVER enough. I had 3 cats die one after the other in about a 2 year period and a 4th vanish from 2000- 2002. I somehow survived it, but I myself was well then. Being chronically ill myself and in a lot of pain - this really make my situation so painful in so many ways..I wish I had my health as I did up until 2.5 years ago...I could do this forever, lift her, etc., but my health is at risk too.

I am rambling....so distraught... no clear answer, I can't even think clearly I am so exhausted and in pain....thank you so much for prayers and strength, they are so much needed.

Dana
(Kodiak's mom)

Dana,

I am so sorry to hear about Kodiak. I know what you're going through, it's hard and almost surreal but Kodiak *really* needs you now, she needs you to be strong for her. My heart aches for you but also Kodiak. We all have to leave our earth suits, this is inevitable no matter how much knowledge is available. I can never stress this enough. When it is time to go, it is time to go and our death of our earth suit is as natural as our birth in our earth suit. As a friend told me this is part of the contract, if needed, to help our loved ones transition to the other side. It is one of the commitments we make, whether or not we acknowledge that, at the beginning of the relationship. Kodiak *so* needs you now. This is not your fault. This is not about *you*. Kodiak has had severe hip dysplasia all her life and at 12 years it has followed a normal course of degeneration. You have given her a full, healthy and happy life and in return she has given you *LOVE*, it is this love that will help you now. You will know when it's time. Remember this, in the presence of love there is no right and wrong. If you have to chant this DO IT! Love is absolute, it has no conditions. You must trust this as you have all along. I don't have to tell you that Kodiak is aware of what is happening, all you have to do is look in your heart and you will find the answer. Trust this because that is where Kodiak is. There is NO right or wrong! Do not play that game, it moves your further away from where love and Kodiak reside.

Right now you need to be strong for Kodiak. My little girl (Tatia) and I are sending you as much positive energy that we can and will keep checking back to hear from you.

Much Love,
cheryl
I ask my boo, Pax to look over Kodiak