Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: My Bestfriend.
Lightning-Strike Pet Loss Support Forum > Pet Loss Support > Death and Dying Pet Support
ashtonrebecca
Hi, I hardly even know where to start on this one.

My dad used to be a vet, and when I was three a woman came in the office with a little cooler full of kittens she had found underneath her house. They all had snotty noses, and were really sick. My mom nursed them all back to health. In the batch of kittens there was a Blue Point Siamese. When my mom was a kid she had a Siamese of her own, and decided my first real pet should be a Siamese cat. We kept the kitten, and named her Marie. Ten years later I had been bestfriends with a girl named Chelsea, when she suddenly went into cardiac arrest and died. I wouldn't have been able to get through it without Marie. She never left my side. She was always there. We've always been inseperable, attached at the hip. If I would leave home for a few nights she would be miserable.

Now, I'm sixteen and Marie is thirteen. Two weeks ago I came home and found her laid out on her side in my bathroom, I could see that her stomache was pumping really hard and she was having trouble breathing. I told my mom and we took her to the vet. I was giving her CPR as my mom was going 80 miles an hour. We got her to the vet and he said it was probably and asthma attack. I was curious as to how that could be, since she had never had any problems like this before. In fact she has always had perfect health. She stayed there for the night, and Saturday morning we went and picked her up. She seemed fine, breathing was just a little bit irregular all afternoon. But then she started sucking air again. So once more we raced to the vet. By the time we got there she was gaging and foaming at the mouth. She couldn't breath at all. She stayed at the vet for three days untill Tuesday. We brought her home and she was doing a little bit better. By the afternoons she would normally start breathing hard again so I would just put her in my with the air conditioner blasting on her to help her breath. That seemed to be working well. So we both just slept in the car that whole week. On Sunday I had a horse show and we just took her with us. When she was a kitten she used to travel between two houses all the time, so she is an excellent travler. She seem perfectly fine at the show. She slept the whole time. She hadn't been eating very well though.
On Monday my aunt needed to put down her old Lab. So, my mom and I went into help her lift him in and out of her car. We took Marie with us. She was breathing hard at my aunts house, and it just got worse and worse. By now, we couldn't leave as we had to help my aunt. But, Marie was clearly in distress. My mom has friends at the local Humane Society so we called over there and they said they would give her some oxygen. I stayed over there with her while my mom dealt with my aunts dog situation. Marie still wasnt' doing well, at all. From my aunts house we're about 40 minutes from the vet. I was pretty sure we weren't going to get there in time.
Once we got her there, she was still breathing but just barely. She stayed there all week. I went to check on her Thursday. She seemed to be doing a little bit better. Still hadn't eaten at all. Then, Saturday morning I went to check on her, as soon as I saw her I just sobed. She is so skinny now, she won't eat, shes dehydrated so her skin is just hanging on her, she still can hardly breath, yet when she saw me she purred the best she could in between gasps for breathes. She broke my heart. I'll be surprised if she makes it through the weekend.
I hardly even know what to do with out Marie with me constantly. It sounds lame, but this cat has been my bestfriend. She sleeps with me every night, when I'm doing my hair or makeup she sits on my dresser and assists me, she always loves on me and licks my face every morning to try and talk me into getting out of bed to feed her. It's my Marie. I don't get why she had to be the one to be dying. We have plenty of stupid and mean cats, not to mention really old cats that should be the ones to die. I don't think it's very fair. She has just always been there. She's watched me grow up. I can't imagine not having her to come home to at nights and telling her all about my day. All of my friends don't understand. They just keep telling me it's just a cat. You'll get over it. But, she's not just a cat, she has never been just a cat. She has been my companion and trusted friend when I had no one else. I can't remember a time when I didn't have Marie.

moon_beam
Hi, ashtonrebecca, of course Marie is more than "just a cat" to you, and no, you will never "get over" losing her. However, as her primary caregiver you must put her needs first, and this includes having to make the most difficult decision you will ever make in your life: letting go of Marie so that she can be released from her frail, weakening, dying physical body. In doing this, you will be giving her an opportunity to be healed in the presence of the angels where she will be waiting for you with her dignity restored until it is your appropriate time to resume your rightful place by her side in eternal joy. Euthanasia is similar to stopping life support for a human family member or friend, and once that is done there is no turning back. Anticipatory grief is very difficult because you know what is happening, you know there is nothing you can do to change what is happening, but you still have the blessing of your Marie's physical presence with you. When she is no longer physically with you, you will experience a different type of grief - - the loss of her physical presence. This willl be a very difficult adjustment to make because Marie has been a very integral part of your life for 13 years. Unfortunately our furkids' lives are shorter than ours, but knowing this does not diminish the deep grief we go through as we adjust our lives without their physical presence. Do they completely leave us? No, because their sweet living Spirits are indelibly etched into our hearts and our memories, and we will never forget them - - even when we embrace the love and company of another furchild into our hearts and lives. Each of our companions have their own special place in our hearts and memories, and nothing and no one can ever change that. Right now, though, ashtonrebecca, you need to do what is best for Marie, as heartbreaking as it will be to let her go home to the angels. We never would have enough time with our furkids on this side of eternity no matter how long they lived for we want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day, one more life time with them. The only other suggestion I can make is to take Marie to another vet for a second opinion and medical evaluation. This would not be anything negative toward your usual vet. When there are chronic symptoms such as these and the condition just seems to get worse it is always good to get a second opinion from a qualified vet. Ashtonrebecca, please know you are not traveling this journey alone. Each of us here understands the difficulty in losing a beloved furchild, and the grief journey that follows. We are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, ashtonrebecca, and please let us know how you are doing and what happens with your precious Marie.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
LoveThem
I totally agree about getting a second opinion and medical evaluation. Neither you nor Marie should have to be going through all of this. Did she have x-rays? My boy's breathing was because he suddenly got fluid in his chest. His twin's breathing 6 years ago was due to a cancer mass in his chest. I don't understand why Marie has to go through all of this..Something is happening to cause her distress and if your vet has no proven answers.....I would try a second opinion and see if there is anything that can help her.

My boy was put in an oxygen tent immediately due to his breathing problems. Then x-rays were taken and we saw what was happening. No cure for that. If we hadn't been home he would have suffocated to death. I am thankful we were home when he was hit all of a sudden with what happened. I hated making the final decision for him but he would suffer again and again...each time the fluid came because the cause was unknown (cancer was suspected) and so within hours of removing the fluid (which would also cause him terrible pain)...it would come back. If it can't be cured...it will come back. Watching them struggle to breathe is the hardest thing I ever dealt with.

Please try the 2nd opinion and tests..to find out what it is and what can be done...that's all you can do and hope she can be helped. Even though they give us their unconditional love all their lifetime..sometimes there are things they cannot do for themselves. And there may come a time when we have to put their needs before our own. It is not easy but we love them too much to allow them to suffer if we can give them peace......if we cannot give them help to be better.
Don't hesitate to ask the vet what Marie's future would be if she cannot be helped. Sometimes knowing that helps make the decision.

Hugs to you and Marie...she is a special lady.

ashtonrebecca
She has had multiple x-rays, and they can't find any type of tumor or anything that would be constricting her lungs and making it impossible to breathe. At this point we're fairly certain it has to be some type of cancer that hasn't been detected due to her not eating or drinking at all. She's been getting fluids and gets oxygen daily. The other vet we would be able to take her to is about two hours away and she wouldn't live through the car ride without oxygen. Her breathing has gotten that bad.
I'm hoping tomorrow I can get over to the clinic and check on her again. The vet never called so I guess she's still hanging in there. She just breaks my heart when she looks at me gasping for air. It's selfish, but it's hard for me to let her go.
LoveThem
I'm so sorry. It is never ever easy to let them go..no matter what. I have had more than one in my long lifetime have to go and it is never easy. We just don't want to let go of that soul. But that is truly something they cannot do for themselves. Make the decision to just go to sleep peacefully.

All that ever helps me is remembering what they were going through and what the future would be for them with no cure and I know it is always the right decision but that never makes it any easier to think that.

Many times I had to do this by myself, when I was single. So I asked one vet how to know when it is time. His answer was when they have no quality of life. I used that as my guide. I still hated it but it helped. I read one topic in this forum when the vet said...bring the baby in when she is not having fun anymore. Another way of saying quality of life. All I ever could think about at the time was I knew 100% I did not want my baby to suffer when there was no cure. I could not live with the memory of needless suffering when all this sweetheart ever did was give unconditional love every day of life.

Reading your words "when she looks at me gasping for air" just breaks my heart. My emergency with my Little Guy was all of a sudden he could not breathe hardly at all due to fluid in his chest.we found out at the ER. I didn't want to let him go but his needs were more important than mine..was all I could think about. I remember that thought screaming inside my mind. That he was the one physically suffering. I didn't want to look in those eyes knowing he would suffocate to death if we brought him home and were not there for the next attack..which would definitely come. He never hurt me. I could not allow the dreadful disease to hurt him anymore...when I saw he was in terrible trouble.

I had him 16 1/2 years in happy times...I hate to think about the decision even now especially since I just had my one year anniversary of the occasion..this week. Prolonging the decision would not have helped my baby and it would not have made me feel better watching him suffer because my boy would have suffered more terribly...his lack of oxygen was making him go in and out of consciousness which I saw as I scooped him up when he dragged himself into our living room cause he needed help.

His twin brother we lost in 2002 but we had time to have a vet come out and she first gave him a tranquilizer so he was sleeping lightly and we could cry without upsetting him. Then while he was still asleep she gave him the final peace. We both got hysterical at the loss but she told us he went very quickly which told her as a vet..he was barely hanging on...and letting go was easy in his condition. Holding on would have been the battle..which he would lose also.

No, it is never easy but they can't decide for themselves but hopefully we can read in their eyes if it is too hard to hang on. It is truly devastating to lose them. But we cannot prevent the end when it is their time...if they and we are lucky...we can give them peace. Our final gift to them for all the love they gave us for so many years.

I wish you peace and healing and I had hoped Marie could be helped but from what you have said...I don't see that happening. I am so very sorry.

Hugs for you and Marie.....
ashtonrebecca
Thank you very much. You don't know how much your kind words have done for me. I am very sorry about your Little Guy.
I guess it is my girls time. Her current quality of life, is none. If she comes home from the vet she can't even lift her head she is so out of breath. But, now even at the vets she can barely breathe.
I guess this is the hard part of having a feline bestfriend.

Thank you for taking the time to reply like you have. It really means a lot to me.
ann
QUOTE (ashtonrebecca @ Sep 14 2008, 09:23 PM) *
Thank you very much. You don't know how much your kind words have done for me. I am very sorry about your Little Guy.
I guess it is my girls time. Her current quality of life, is none. If she comes home from the vet she can't even lift her head she is so out of breath. But, now even at the vets she can barely breathe.
I guess this is the hard part of having a feline bestfriend.

Thank you for taking the time to reply like you have. It really means a lot to me.

Hi ashtonrebecca, I sure hope your friend makes it thru ok..It's so hard to see them ill like that. When I was 8 I had a cat that passed when I was 26. So I curtainly understand about "growing up" together. She got very ill. For 3mo I watched her suffer, a fat cat she was melting to nothing. I didn't have the heart to let her go. It was cruel and selfish on my part. She was 18. She passed away in the house the night I told her I would find the courage to let her go.. Please do the best you can and making sure you covered everything, but if it is her time, you have to be greatful for what she has meant to you. No, she isn't "just a cat"(I hate that too by the way)she is your "best friend". It has been 26yrs since that time and I still to this day regret what I did. So much so I put my baby down 4mo ago cuz of his suffering. Always thinking back. I wish you all the best..please let us know how she is doing..Hugs Ann
ashtonrebecca
Hey guys. I went over to the clinic this morning to check on Marie, fully prepaired to let her go. However, I'm happy to report she is breathing better. She isn't gasping for her anymore. She purred happily as soon as she saw me. My vet is going to try her on some antibiotics and some anti-fungal meds incase it's some sort of an infection. She still isn't eating, and is skinny and frail. Looks like shes aged about five years over night. But, she doesn't seem to be stressed. She's resting comfortabley. Vet said he would call if anything changed.

Ann, I am very sorry about your fur friend. She sounds like a special girl. I've always hoped Marie would live untill she was atleast 18. I was more of shooting for 20.
havana
Oh boy! You made my day, hello, it is so happy to hear such wonderful news for all of us, I am sooo glad you have no idea and Marie will be on my Prayers, God Bless you and and her, always, Jorge :wubClick to view attachment
moon_beam
Hi, ashtonrebecca, I'm so glad for your good news about your precious Marie. I hope that the antibiotics will help improve her situation so that she can come to you happy and healthy once again. Please know you and Marie in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to knowing your latest news.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Nemo's Mommy
I'm so glad to hear Marie is doing better.

My cat Ren had heart disease (cardiomyopathy) and in the end stage he had trouble breathing.

But if the X-rays are showing no fluid on the lungs, that is unusual. Also, they should be able to look at them and see if it could possibly be asthma or bronchitis. Did they check for that?

I have a cat that has asthma attacks every once in a while, and they don't seem to be like that, but every cat could be different. They give him medicine for that when it happens.

Even cancer should show up on the X-rays. Has they considered all possibilites, even that your cat could be having a horrible allergic reaction to something? I would push the vet to examine every possibility. Of course, there may not be a radiologist that can look at the X-rays where you live, which could help.

I've also found searching the internet on my cats symptoms helps a lot, and can give me things to suggest to the vet to look for.

Good luck and hoping your Marie recovers in full... sounds very positive today.
ashtonrebecca
Nemo's Mommy, yes she has been x-rayed up and down multiple times but theres no sign of tumors or fluids that shouldn't be there. At first she just had the symptoms of an asthmatic cat. We thought she was allergic to something in the house so we cleaned it top to bottom, and bought her a kitty inhaler as well. We did that for a while but she still just wasn't breathing normally. The vet says she just isn't bouncing back like the average asthmatic cat would. And, with an inhaler animals with asthma normally do just fine. She's also not eating or drinking.
Hopefully, she'll respond to antibiotics. I'll go and check on her in a few days if I don't get a call from the doc.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
LoveThem
Our prayers are with you and Marie. It was good to read she was breathing easier. I so hope you continue to see improvement. I'm glad the vet is trying new things. Something sounds like it is helping if she is breathing easier. That is so important.

What a sweetheart. Give her a hug and a kiss from all here and tell her she has a bunch of "aunts and uncles" wishing her the very best and sending prayers that each day is a better one than the one before.

wub.gif

ashtonrebecca
I went and saw Marie today. She was thrilled to hear about her aunts and uncles =]
Her breathing has noticabley improved. She's still not eating though. She has started to drink a little bit of water which is better than nothing. She is just so skinny and imaciated now. Even on her best days the stars had to be aligned to get her to eat. And if God forbid her food shouldn't be in her favorite bowl, or another cat looked at her food she would instantly discard it. So, it's going to be hard to get her to bounce back. She still seems really weak. She rarely opens her eyes or sits up. She always purrs though as soon as she hears me. I hope she'll continue to improve.
Thank you for all of the prayers. I think they might be helping her.
ann
QUOTE (ashtonrebecca @ Sep 16 2008, 10:29 PM) *
I went and saw Marie today. She was thrilled to hear about her aunts and uncles =]
Her breathing has noticabley improved. She's still not eating though. She has started to drink a little bit of water which is better than nothing. She is just so skinny and imaciated now. Even on her best days the stars had to be aligned to get her to eat. And if God forbid her food shouldn't be in her favorite bowl, or another cat looked at her food she would instantly discard it. So, it's going to be hard to get her to bounce back. She still seems really weak. She rarely opens her eyes or sits up. She always purrs though as soon as she hears me. I hope she'll continue to improve.
Thank you for all of the prayers. I think they might be helping her.

My prayers and thoughts are with you. So glad she's doing better. Hey, maybe she will live to be 20!. But 13 is long too, and you are very lucky to have her this long. She is being taken care of by you and your vet, she can't ask for more. Funny thing about food. My new inherited cat Piper was soo skinny. She's put on a few pounds recently. Eating is not one of her favorite activities. I got a fee sample of Temptation treats, my Arthur loved them so much he practically stopped eating his regular food. So I tried it on Pipes, she loves them too. It may not be the best thing, but it's food.. I hope Marie gains her appetite..Ann
AngelCareOne
QUOTE
Nemo's Mommy, yes she has been x-rayed up and down multiple times but theres no sign of tumors or fluids that shouldn't be there. At first she just had the symptoms of an asthmatic cat. We thought she was allergic to something in the house so we cleaned it top to bottom, and bought her a kitty inhaler as well. We did that for a while but she still just wasn't breathing normally. The vet says she just isn't bouncing back like the average asthmatic cat would. And, with an inhaler animals with asthma normally do just fine. She's also not eating or drinking.

Hopefully, she'll respond to antibiotics. I'll go and check on her in a few days if I don't get a call from the doc.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed.


QUOTE
I went and saw Marie today. She was thrilled to hear about her aunts and uncles =]
Her breathing has noticabley improved. She's still not eating though. She has started to drink a little bit of water which is better than nothing. She is just so skinny and imaciated now. Even on her best days the stars had to be aligned to get her to eat. And if God forbid her food shouldn't be in her favorite bowl, or another cat looked at her food she would instantly discard it. So, it's going to be hard to get her to bounce back. She still seems really weak. She rarely opens her eyes or sits up. She always purrs though as soon as she hears me. I hope she'll continue to improve.

Thank you for all of the prayers. I think they might be helping her.


This is wonderful news indeed, Ashtonrebecca! Please know that you and Marie are in my thoughts and prayers for continued recovery. Here is just about the most beautiful song of Blessings that I've ever heard in my life and I'm a pretty old lady. I wish to give these Blessings to you and your precious fur child Marie with much love!

Please Turn up Your Volume and Click on the Angelic Lady






"Sleep Song"
By: Secret Garden


Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby. Back to the years of Loo-Li,Lai-Ley. And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow. Bless you with love for the road that you go.

May you sail fair to the far fields of fortune with diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet and may you need never to banish misfortune. May you find kindness in all that you meet.

May there always be Angels to watch over you. To guard you each step of the way. To guard you and keep you safe from all harm. Loo-Li,Loo-Li,Lai-Ley.

May you bring love and may you bring happiness. Be loved in return to the end your days. Now fall off to sleep. I'm not meaning to keep you. I'll just sit for a while and sing Loo-Li,Lai-Ley.

May there always be Angels to watch over you. To guard you each step of the way. To guard you and keep you safe from all harm. Loo-Li,Loo-Li,Lai-Ley. Loo-Li,Loo-Li,Lai-Ley.





Many Healing Hugs and Loving Angels to You and Marie!!! wub.gif wub.gif wub.gif

Your Pal,
Dottie xoxoxox



LoveThem
I noticed you said:

She's still not eating though. She has started to drink a little bit of water which is better than nothing. She is just so skinny and imaciated now. Even on her best days the stars had to be aligned to get her to eat. And if God forbid her food shouldn't be in her favorite bowl, or another cat looked at her food she would instantly discard it. So, it's going to be hard to get her to bounce back.

A thought came into my mind: You might think about taking that favorite bowl to where she is and unless she is being fed with an IV......maybe seeing the familiar favorite dish will encourage her appetite. Or ask the vet about doing it.

Keep us updated please.

Hugs to both of you wub.gif
Judy
ashtonrebecca
Hey guys. Went and saw my girl this morning. She is feeling better. She's starting to move around now, she jumped up and came to the front of the cage and purred as soon as she saw me. Still not eating, but she is drinking water, and moving around more. Shes really ready to come home though. She was about to have a fit to get out of that cage.
Yes, LoveThem, I have her bowl there, her blanket, and all of her favorite Fancy Feast foods. She's so picky. I raised her wrong. Haha.
I'll go in and see her again in the morning. Everyone at the clinic knows me and Marie Michelle by name now. We feel so honored.

Thank you for all the prayers!
LoveThem
I see you said:
Yes, LoveThem, I have her bowl there, her blanket, and all of her favorite Fancy Feast foods. She's so picky. I raised her wrong. Haha.

My new shelter cat only wants Fancy Feast too. So I guess you have a buddy here who also
"raises them wrong". Funny...he got Science Diet dry at the shelter but has discovered FF, especially Elegant Medleys. A gal here told me they like that so much, it's nickname is
"kitty crack". I'd believe that.

Your news sounds wonderful. I hope your vet has explained what in the world happened to Marie to put her where she was before. Knowing what happened helps knowing how to prevent it in the future. Your vet hopefully found the reason for everything...as she is doing so much better from what you are saying. Sometimes we are given the "miracles" that allow us more time together with our special ones. We are grateful for each time that happens.

Oh, your news sounds so great. Give her hug and a kiss from her "aunts and uncles" here.
wub.gif
ashtonrebecca
I saw Marie this morning, she's not looking so hot. She was really having trouble breathing. Tomorrow, if she isn't a whole lot better I think I'm going to go ahead and put her down.
LoveThem
I'm sorry to hear about her breathing. What does the vet think the problem is? You know your baby best. It is heartbreaking to let them go but when we remember exactly what the reason was..we know it is not something we ever do lightly but if there is truly no cure or having a quality of life...it really hurts when we have no choice. That's why we do try everything possible to help them.

Discuss all these reactions of Marie with your vet..what does your vet see for the future?
Is she getting oxygen? (Mine was put in an oxygen tent to help him breathe). What is happening to her?

What we learn from each other may help someone else's baby at another time so I always question everything I can. Not knowing why something is happening is so awful...I hate it everytime it happens, and I have had it happen to me more than one time over the years.

I just pray she is better next time you see her and that your vet can give you some answers as to the future and how she is doing..and is there a way to help her breathing? Is she on an IV for food and water?

Hugs to you both. Our prayers are with Marie and you everyday. (We have read sometimes things have turned around for the good for others here and hope that will happen to you and Marie).

(I guess I am always looking for any glimmer of hope..so I just naturally have lots of questions.. maybe I think if we ask enough questions, one may turn on a light bulb for the doctor..and an answer with hope happens. I worry when I have no questions left.)


ashtonrebecca
Theres no hope left here.
I had to put her down this morning. She had gotten even worse.
Muffins
Dear (((((((((((AshtonRebecca))))))))))

As I was reading through your whole post this morning, my heart would fill with hope when I heard that your precious girl, Marie wub.gif was doing well, and would break in half when I heard that your girl wub.gif was suffering again......

It is clear to see that you did everything conceivable to give Marie wub.gif the best in veterinary care. Please know in your heart, AshtonRebecca, that your Marie wub.gif KNOWS you did all that you could for her.

Her sweet, beautiful & tiny body was worn out, and it was HER TIME to go -- to be at peace - to be at rest.

In making the decision to have her put to sleep, you did one of the very hardest things in the world.
I know that everyone here at Lightning-Strike would agree with me that, you also did one of the most loving things that you could ever do!
In having your precious girl, Marie wub.gif put to sleep, you put her needs first ---

YOU TOOK ON HER PAIN so that she could finally be without pain. In my mind, there is NO greater gift in this world.
God Bless you, for having the strength to make this difficult decision.

Always know that she will always be with you, right inside your heart. Her spirit is with you wub.gif . I know that Marie wub.gif will ALWAYS LOVE YOU. As her mom, you gave her a wonderful life.
Where she is now, there is no more pain, she is breathing perfectly fine, and I know that she is playing with all of our furbabies who have gone on to Rainbow's Bridge before.
I'll say a prayer to my sweet girl, Ernestine wub.gif that she meet up with your beautiful girl, Marie wub.gif to "show her the ropes" up at the Bridge.

Please know that my thoughts and my prayers are with you at this time. Please come here as often as you want to, and just write your thoughts down - what you're feeling, etc....
I know that this place helped me immensely -- we are all here for you, to see you through this.

Sending you lots of hugs,

Peace & Love,

Denise xo


LoveThem
I totally agree with everything said by Muffins. She said it so well...I can't think of anything to add except my personal thoughts to you of:

I am so very very sorry about Marie. I know how hard that is. I cry everytime I remember making that decision myself.
You tried your best and so did she. But I saw what difficulty breathing did to my Little Guy in his emergency last year.
That is one symptom that is so very scary. And it can't be comfortable.

You gave her peace when she needed it. It was her time and I have learned that I have never won that battle with any of my special ones.

A tight cyber-hug to you (as I type this through tears) wub.gif

Post when you feel you want to, about your thoughts, your feelings...if it helps to write them down. A note to Marie ( I do that with my Little Guy).....whatever makes you feel better to do, it is the right thing.

Just remember...you are not alone when you are here. We all have the same pain and will have it everyday..time dulls it somewhat..but it is never truly gone.

You did the right thing for her. I know the thought doesn't make anything any easier (it didn't with me either) but somehow having that assurance in the back of your mind...I think will help.

My boy's x-rays were clear of any chest fluid a week before it exploded filling his chest so he could not breathe. Quality of life disappearing in an instance. No cure except painful draining with the expectation of coming back any hour, anytime. I know that's why I had to make the decision but even that doesn't help relieve any of the pain that decision left me with.

But we have to just do the best we can. It does help knowing there is no more suffering. But even that doesn't make the emptiness feel less empty, the loneliness feel any less lonelier.

Now my tears are blurring these words so I'll just stop with with a hug again wub.gif

Judy
moon_beam
Hi, ashtonrebecca, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Marie. I do understand how devastated you are feeling; how inconsolable your heart is. You did everything you possibly could to help your precious Marie. I do know what it is like to have hope that everything will work out okay to only in the end having to let my furkid go home to the angels. You both fought a good fight, and your Marie knows that you love her with all your heart and soul and mind and body - - that you would have moved heaven and earth to provide her a happy, healthy, and safe life with you on this side of eternity. Having to decide to euthanize a beloved companion ins never easy, and it is a decision that is made at great sacrifice to us so that they can go home to the angels with their dignity still intact. And now you are faced with having to adjust your life without the physical presence of your precious Marie, and this journey is going to take time - - lots of time. But you are not alone in your journey, ashtonrebecca. Each of us here do know the heartbreak of losing a beloved fur and feathered companoni, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Plesae know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
ashtonrebecca
Thank you for all the kind words.
I'm missing my girl in a big way today. Saturday and Sunday I was actually alright. I thought I'd be more upset which sounds so wierd. I guess I was just trying to ignore it. But, today I've just been miserable. I want to hear her purr and kiss her nose so badly that it just hurts.
LoveThem
Everything is just part of the normal grieving process. It does sound as though on the weekend you might have remembered more clearly what it was about her that last day that led to the decision and you knew it was so right...with her having breathing problems.

Maybe Monday was far enough away that the reason faded somewhat as you remembered the good healthy memories and just wanted THEM back....wanted HER back.

Nothing wrong with that thinking..still normal. It is a pain that the hurt can't really be described to another who has not experienced it. But to we who have experienced it...time and time again...we know it can't be described but we understand how it feels.

I know I did a lot of crying after my Little Guy had to go. My misery went on for months until I decided I just had to hold another furbaby and starting looking for another friend. I did connect with one at my local SPCA and he has helped me so very much over this past year. He is the distraction I needed.

I couldn't have my boy back but I feel better watching cat-like actions again. As my favorite Mom saying is: The pain of losing her will never ever be greater that the joy of knowing her.

Having my new healthy boy helps me smile at the joy of having my Little Guy over 16 years, as well as his siblings.

But there still can be days when it all comes back overwhelmingly and we cry again, and again.
...still normal.

For me, forcing myself to remember the reason for that decision eases the pain somewhat by knowing it was something that HAD to be done...for them. But nothing will ever take the pain away completely because the pain is due to our missing them and since we will love them and miss them always....the pain will never truly disappear..but in time..it is bearable.

I know you miss her so very very much. I'm sorry it was her time but am glad you had the time with her that you did. And I know, like me, you would never have given up that time and knowing our special one, to avoid the pain and sadness we know comes in its own time. We only pray that is a long way away.

But even with my new boy...I can just tell myself..here is one who has a home, who is loved, and who will never be abused or starved or be alone waiting to love and be loved. So, no matter how long his time is...I know it will be quality time. And that is the best thing we can give them in return for that special love we receive.

Hugs to you and your new Angel ...Marie
wub.gif

(Sometimes when I feel extra sad..I go to New Beginnings and look at the kitten pictures and I can't help but smile....knowing these members, have the same pain as I do, but they are helped by opening their heart and home to a new "brother" or "sister" to the one lost.)

Again...I am so sorry about your baby. We can only try to help by listening, by hoping something in our words helps, and by sending a cyber-hug so you know if there in person, we would be crying together.

Write anytime. We are always listening. Write your baby a special note (we do that often ourselves). Post some favorite pictures of that special girl. In time, when you feel like it,
tell us some special memories that make you smile.

She will never leave you because she is part of your heart and it is a bond that can never be broken by anyone or any power.

Judy
ashtonrebecca
Thank you so much <3 Your kind words have really helped me.
I'm off to take my mother to the emergency room. It's just one thing after another.
LoveThem
I know what you mean about one thing after another (only in my case..I am the one who goes to the ER).

I hope everything with your mom is okay.

And, post back here when things settle down or anytime you just need to talk.

Hugs

Judy

I'm glad you feel helped by something I said. That means a lot to me.
moon_beam
Hi, ashtonrebecca, I hope that everything works out okay with your mom. Having this concern can intensify the loss of Marie for you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you and your mom are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
AngelCareOne
{{{{{{{AshtonRebecca}}}}}}} I'm so sorry that I was gone so long and very sorry to hear about your sad news and loss. Please know that you and your Angel Fur Kid are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep coming back to talk as often as you wish and any time night or day.

Big Comforting Hugs and Winging Many Loving Angels to You and Yours!!! wub.gif wub.gif wub.gif

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2025 Invision Power Services, Inc.