Well, I went to the 'deceased pet care' place and picked up Brutus's cremains. I was doing pretty good this past weekend trying to forget the last bad days and remembering all the good, funny stuff he used to do. I've been trying to stop crying. Its been a week since he passed.
But I got home today with the box, and opened it, then opened the next container and inside was a clear plastic bag with a tie with the ashes that said 'BRUTUS".
I can't believe thats him. Suddenly I know he's not coming back. Did I think he WAS coming back? I don't know. But this pile of ash CANNOT be my Brutus. God its all flooding back again,,,,,,,,,,,I can't believe this is him. I can't believe I allowed them to make him into a pile of dust.
I should have just let them keep him at the vet hospital so I wouldn't have to go through this I suppose. But I did order a nice urn that has a cat angel on top with 'BRUTUS' on the side.
I'm crying again.

I am sorry you are having to go through this. I know it must be very hard. I wish I could have had Sissycat's ashes, but I don't think there is any place near me that does that. The Urn sounds beautiful. As someone else said you have many emotions that will come in waves. Up and down. Good days and bad days. We all get by one day at a time. We are here for you.

Many Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{{{{{{{Suzanne}}}}}}} There's so much I want to tell you but I believe your precious Brutus Beefcake can tell you far better than I can. He has a message for you, Dear One.

God Bless and Most Abundantly!!!





Awww! What a Beautiful, Precious, Thoughtful and Loving Baby Fur Child he is and he Loves you Sooooo Much!!!!

I can certainly understand your shock, Suzanne, but that really ain't Brutus Beefcake in that bag. It's just the "shell" that housed who Brutus Beefcake was. Not him at all, Hon. And, as long as you carry his heart in your heart, he will Live Forever!!!

Lotsa Love and Many Comforting Hugs!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

I don't know what to say except thank you so much for being there for me and everyone else that is going through this. I'm sure my friends are tiring of me and probably think I should just get over it, so it is so comforting to know I can come here and you all truly understand. Dottie you just go above and beyond, that picture with Brutus 'talking' was really something special. You're right, that bag of dust is NOT my Brutus, he's a cat angel now,,,,,,,,,,,,,
thank you again, more than you know.

{{{{{{{Suzanne}}}}}}} You're so very welcome, Dear One. Hey, everyone's tired of my grieving and finding this safe haven is such a God Send!

I think I may scream if I hear one more time: "Hey, he was a bird. Just a bird. There's millions of them out there. Just get another for pity's sake. You've got to stop this nonsense and just get over it and ... Yada, Yada, Yada ..."

Well, I'd just love to know how I can obtain and "instantly" fall in love with and train another parrot not only to have a huge vocabulary, other vocalizations, do many tricks, actually carry logical but simple conversations using those words in their vocabulary because they know what all words and phrases mean within their vocabulary ... But also according to objective experts who don't even know us ... That Alex had the same cognizance, reasoning ability, personality, behavior, emotions, clear speaking ability and more very much the same as ... and I quote: "A four to five year old 'normal' human child." Okay, so he was just a bird? Riiiiggghhttt.

See? I understand just what you're saying. So many out there just "DGI" (don't get it) that these are our best friends, kids and family. How sad that they will never be able to experience what you, me and others like us have. Oh, I still have my doggie and kitty and beat them up at least twice a day. KIDDING! They have me wrapped around their paws and get pretty much whatever their hearts desire. I am so blessed! And, I am so blessed to have met you!

More Comforting Hugs!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

WOW Alex sounded amazing,,,,,,,,,,,,
yea people that don't have pets just don't get it. Most people have been really nice about it, but I can tell the people that don't have pets........but I just feel funny going on and on to them anymore after a week. But picking up his ashes today was just hard, and the reality really set in.
So I came here, and again you made me feel better and think differently.
I really do thank you,,,,,,,
**HUGS**

Hi Suzanne5, When Arthur died I wanted to have him cremaited. My partner was not so keen on the idea. He later agreed with me. I couldn't bear to put him in the ground "as is". I would have opened the box and held him a 1000 times. To me it was too perminate. I figured by having his ashes I could do what I wanted. He too came the same way. I kept it like that. I pick up the package everyday and kiss it. We buried a little of him in the garden by his catnip. Most is in his memory box with some of his favorite things. And I have a little in my room. I'm actually thinking of getting a piece of urn jewerly to put some in it and wear. For me, I just wanted him home. I know where he is now. Maybe in time you will feel the same way. I thought it would bother me, but it really didn't. I had 2 past cats and have nothing of them but a few photos and faded memories. This time I wanted something, I needed it. When time has past and you begin to "accept" all this (eventually we have to) you'll see Brutus's bundle in a different way and thank your lucky stars you have him home, where he loved to be. Hugs.. Ann

I know the feeling you're describing so very well. It's the finality of the loss when you get those ashes. It's too much to process. I agree with Ann, there will come a time when you will be glad you have those ashes. I'm in the same boat, not knowing what to do with the box, not wanting to deal with it yet, but trusting that a time will come when there will be some sense of peace with it all.

Big hugs and know that you are not alone.

-Dele

I'm feeling a little better about it today, and glad I did the cremation. I guess just yesterday when I actually SAW the bag of ashes it just made me sick to know that was him. But now I realize, with your all's help, that this is NOT him, just his shell, his spirit is with me. The ashes are for the living, to help with grief,,,,,,,,,,,
I did purchase a nice cat angel urn which I should receive shortly, and I actually DID get a piece of that cremation jewelry, which looks like a little silver paw, and you unscrew it and put some ashes in it. I did that last night, so I will wear the necklace from now on. I probably won't really tell most people what it is, it just looks like a cute silver paw. Its for me, not anyone else.
You all really have helped me with my grief journey, and for this I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I am glad you are feeling a little better. That is why we come here. To be helped and hopefully to help others.

Hugs to you!!!!!!!

Hi, Suzanne. I'm so pleased to hear you're feel a little better today and you're glad you did the cremation. Of course that's not Brutus Beefcake and is only the "shell" that housed his spirit which will never leave you! God Bless! How wonderful to get a cat angel urn. I didn't know about the cremation jewelry "silver cat paw" and you can unscrew it to put some of his ashes in it to keep with you all the time wearing it as a necklace How comforting! Hugs!!!

I put together some videos about my Styx kitty who is a Cornish Rex. None of these videos are him but I've left a link to his photo. Styx is an old man now of about 13 years old. Also, I'll respond to you about parrots and their intelligence. The two closest to Alex's clear speech are near the bottom. More Blessings!!!

Cornish Rex cat at window watches cat and dog outside. So cute ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JqrZi4nPcg

Feeding time, very vocal but poor quality of film. My Styx kitty is about 13 so his "howl" is in a much deeper voice. Well, usually it is ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONeKnjHaJkM...feature=related

This is a lot like my Styx kitty when younger. Very stretchy, Biiiggg ears and rat tail. Styx still loves his baths, though. He also loves to put his front legs (I call them his "arms") around my neck and Hug me when I hold him. Awww!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkSosgrsDrs...feature=related

To see a photo of my Styx kitty, click below and scroll down to post number 5 ...

http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=4662

As for my Alex parrot, him having those qualities isn't that unusual really. Now, it is somewhat unusual for a Quaker but not unheard of, however lots and lots of your greater parrots have many the same "human attributes" as I described. Also, they know what you're saying or asking (within their vocabulary) and do respond appropriately. Einstein is an African Grey and very amazing! Wow! Take a look at his amazing performance and enjoy! He does speak softly as most African Greys do so you may want to tune up your volume. Einstein is very talented indeed!

Einstein the parrot ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnTT7u5U4Yo

My Alex's speech was much clearer and louder but as I said most African Greys do speak softly. The most famous of your African Greys is the late Alex used lovingly in interstices communication research. No, I didn't name my Alex after him. My Alex's full name was Alexandrite which is a precious stone of most noble history.

The famous Alex could count objects as in number of keys for instance, tell you what color they are, could tell you what size ("small, smaller, big or bigger"), could tell you what shape (square was "four corners" and triangle was "three corners" and circle was "round" and so on), could tell you the names of objects. That Alex would express in words what he wanted (as in some water, a banana, to be petted, when he wanted to rest or sleep, wanted back in his cage - My Alex did all those - and so on), how he was feeling (as in a tummy ache, a headache, or happy, scared, upset and so on), when he was concerned about someone he'd tell that person, expressed sympathy (my Alex did that), the list goes on and on and on. You'll find a lot of his tapes on Youtube demonstrating all I've described above.

His human friends were devastated when they came to work that morning and found he had died especially since his last words the evening before that were, "I'll see you tomorrow!" So sad. Yes, I did have a good cry when he died over a year ago.

Back to happy stuff ...

Einstein's Word Practice - It gets more interesting about one minute into the film and you can tell by his body language that he knows what he's saying as well as things like grouping food words together when talking about eating. He does need to work on the word "cantaloupe" though. Haha ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Z-ACyBaS-4...feature=related

This one cracks me up every time! I'm fairly sure that it's Einstein but please don't hold me to it. The film quality is poor and the volume low so ya gotta turn it up to really appreciate it. Hilarious ...

African Grey parrot singing "Who let the dogs out?! Who? Who? Who, Who, Who, Who?!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GfjpTXDs9A...feature=related

Now more Quakers and the closest I can find to Alex's very clear speech is near the bottom ...

This Quaker appears to me to be about 2 years old, a female, is just learning to speak some new words and does NOT speak clearly. Your Quaker parrot and most other parrots will only speak as clearly as YOU teach them to speak instead of using "baby talk." Here's an example of what I mean. This lady is talking baby talk to her Quaker and that's just what she gets back from him/her ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FE-3xrxCMw...feature=related

This one isn't clear but this Quaker does understand the question and answers appropriately to: "Can you laugh like Aunt Nancy?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muUkM9BQgTs...feature=related

French Quaker! I'll translate as best I can but this very young Quaker does know what he's being asked and will respond correctly. Just imagine how much more this parrot will learn from its loving owner as it grows. Awww! Click below ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOtTrlkvyQY...feature=related

Begins with Quaker parrot saying French equivalent to "It's me Cocoa" or "I am Cocoa."
Parrot: Hello Cocoa.
Man: What does a chicken say?
Parrot: Clucks like a chicken
You'll note that next, Cocoa parrot keeps repeating the second word because the man doesn't correctly put it in the form of a question. I'm not sure what that word means in French but the parrot does give the correct answer ....
Man asks: What does ????? say?
Parrot answers: Ho, Ho, Ho.
Man asks: Do you want some coffee?
Parrot answers: I want coffee and keeps repeating it. She must really want some coffee.
Laughing
Sneezing
Man: What does a dog say?
Parrot: makes a barking sound
Man getting parrot to climb from finger to finger says French equivalent to "Climb" or "Step up" or something similar.
Parrot: Repeats and obeys

Then the parrot asks for "A little kiss"
Man says: Just a little kiss and offers his fingers.
Parrot asks again for "A little kiss"
Man responds firmly: "Only or Just a little kiss"
Parrot asks again for "A little kiss"
Man is more firm but loving: "Only a little kiss!"

Man covers parrots head and asks: "Where are you?"
Parrot: Is either saying the French equivalent to "Peek-A-Boo!"
They repeat it a couple more times.

Next, they give each other BIG kisses.
After that, when it seems that the man is done ...
The parrot asks, "A little kiss?" They give each other a little kiss.
The rest is self explanatory until the man gives the parrot a treat and the parrot says the French equivalent to "YUM" and makes very, very happy sounds.
Finally, they both say, "Bye, bye."

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to locate any clips of any Quakers yet whose speech was a clear as my Alex's. He spoke very, very clearly except when he said his name. I have absolutely no idea why not because I know he was capable of saying "Alex" but he chose to say what sounded a lot like "Owek" or he'd draw it out when calling and it would sound like "Owwweeekkkk!" Go figure.

This is about the closest I can get to the clarity of Alex's speech but this Quaker (Danny) ain't too cooperative since he appears to want out of that cage. Alex's voice was a bit deeper, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HecoP8WMY9E

And here is Danny the Quaker once more singing "Oh what a Beautiful Morning" but again he is not cooperating because he still wants out of that cage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNQxnmRFa44

Here's a Quaker parrot singing "If You're Happy and You Know it and You Really Wanna Show it Clap Your Hands!" Does not speak clearly but you can easily make out every single word.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvf-XpHX05k&NR=1

One more Quaker, still not extremely clear but you can make out every word. This one is saying: ""Supercallafagilistecexbeallidoshious! Even Though the Sound of it is Something Quite Atrocious!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8h_rO5CYQY...feature=related

Below is not a Quaker but I do love that Oscar Meyer bologna song. Hehe. He sings it pretty well, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o46J1e4BUvY...feature=related

I hope you enjoyed!

Big Hugs and Much Love to You and your Precious Fur Baby Brutus Beefcake!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

I responded in your Tributes section....topic about Brutus. I'm so glad to read here that others' experiences helped you feel better. I never did get ashes for any of my babies. I guess for me it was a way of trying to feel they were still here. But I have read where so many set up wonderful memorials especially for their babies and it is beautiful to read about.

I am sorry for your loss...it is something we all understand so very well. It is very helpful to come here and post thoughts and feelings for we all share the same pain, have many of the same thoughts and questions, and sometimes someone is able to say something in a few words that turns a "light" on for us and we understand some things we were trying to cope with and especially when one finds out so much of everything we do and said is so very normal for grieving.

And especially when the outside world does not truly understand...it is comforting to have a place to come to where we know there is understanding and because of that all advice and words said truly come from the heart. We know the hurt of loss and we know no one needs to have the added hurt of some who do not understand, especially not understanding it takes time to heal and even when the biggest pain has dull, we will miss and love these precious sweethearts forever. Love has no time limits.

Hugs, Suzanne...you will be alright.

Judy