My peek-a-poo started getting sick on the 4th of July during the night. Her name was Candy. Saturday and Sunday she just laid around and didn't eat. She drank a small amount. She was too weak to walk at times. On Sunday, I took her to the vet. He thought it was her kidneys. He wanted me to bring her back on Monday morning to get her rehydrated and do a blood test to check her kidney function.
I cried all weekend. I think I knew her time was near. I asked the vet on Sunday if he thought she was in pain. He said he didn't think so.
Monday morning before I took her to the vet, I was loving her and I will never forget the look in her eyes. She looked like she was pleading for me to help her. I took her with the intention that no matter what the vet said I would bring her home. I was going to take care of her till the end. Then I got the call from the vet and he said that her kidneys weren't functioning like they should. He said she could live for 2 weeks or 2 months. He didn't know. I decided that I would let her go because I knew she wouldn't be happy. She was such a good dog that I wanted to do right by her in the end. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I wanted to bring her home and not let her go but I knew that was only so that I wouldn't be alone.
I regret not loving her more before I took her to the vet. She was 15 years and 1 week old.
She was my best friend. After my two kids left home, I depended on her to be there for me when I got home. I am single and she was always there for me. Now I come home to an empty house and some days it just about kills me.
I have to try not to think about it now because I know I will fall into a deep depression. I think about her but right now I can't think too hard about the things she used to do. I hope in time that I can think about her without feeling like I don't want to ever function again.
Today in the mail, I received a sympathy card from the vet. Inside was a poem "At Rainbow Bridge". It has helped me some today. I am going to hang it on my refrigerator so that it can give me inspiration every day.
My kids are 2 hours away and I have no friends. My dog was my best friend. The people I work with have the attitude that "she was just a dog". They don't understand how deeply I am hurting so I decided to come here in hopes of having some support.
The one thing I do regret is that I didn't take many pictures of her. I wanted to do a picture frame with pictures of her and now I don't know if I can find enough good ones.
I do appreciate any support you can give me.

Am so sorry for your loss and I know the pain and desperation you are going thru I also lost my Son Buster 20 days ago today, he was 11 y/o and a month, and am still a mess and like you don't know what to do, God Bless you and Candy, you can come here and speak with us and even with your beloved Candy too, all of us are here for you anytime, love allways Buster and Jorge Click to view attachment

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure your precious Candy knew how very much you loved her. My loss was 35 days ago. Please let me tell you. It will get better. I still miss her so much, but the pain is not as sharp. You will in time be able to look at her pictures and smile remembering all the good times you shared.
You had many good years with her and you must have many wonderful memories. When you are ready to share pictures or stories we will be glad to look at them.
Everyone here is really great and have helped me so much.


Many Hugs to You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for your support. I hate being at home because the house is empty and everything I do reminds me of Candy. I hate leaving my house because Candy is buried in my back yard and I feel closer to her. I am just at my wit's end sometimes.
You have a great picture of you and your dog. I wish I had gotten more pictures of Candy.
She was such a good dog even till the end. I had gotten her the "pee" pads to use in the house when I was away from the house when her kidneys first started acting up. Over the weekend and the morning I took her to the vet, she could hardly walk but she got up and wobbled over to the pads to go to the bathroom. She could of just went anywhere but she wobbled over to the pads. She was a wonderful dog.
I am so thankful for all the years we had together. I got her as a puppy for the kids but I was the one who was so attached to her. When we lived in our previous house, my son and I had a bedroom on one side of the house. My daughter was on the other side. Candy would sleep with my daughter. When we moved into this house, my son and daughter had the bedrooms on one end and I was on the other end. Candy started sleeping with me. It was like she didn't want the person who slept away from the others to be lonely.

Hi. I understand unfortunately all that you're going thru. I too, am single and understand the importance of that friend being there for you when you get home. Forget the people at work, after all, they're only people. I came on this site almost 3 years ago when I lost my beloved Jack. I can still cry at the drop of a hat when I think of him. I currently have a 3 year old cairn terrier, but my fear is for my 13 year old Golden Retriever, Brandy. She has been having more and more problems standing up and I've had to lift her and steady her hind quarters. Then sometimes, she can even run a short way. This weekend I'll be trying Rymadal and see if that helps. If not, I fear I may have to make some decisions I don't want to make. I also have a mixed breed dog, (mostly shephard) who now has Irritalble bowel syndrome. She's doing okay this week, but last week was pretty poopy. I think we've finally got the meds right. She's 11 and no spring chicken either. They've all been with me forever and Having 2 geriatrics at the same time has been emotionally exhausting. I thank God for the little guy who is always perky and happy. It's not like the pain ever goes away, it just gets a little easier to live thru. I know that Rainbow Bridge is going to be full of all my friends and family that have left me. I pray that I won't have to make any decisions and they will be made for me and I'll pray for your comfort as well. If you have any old pics of Candy at all see if you can email them to me and I'll try to fix them up for you with Photoshop. I've gotten okay with that. My email is Loneredhorse@aol.com. I can't promise you perfection, but maybe I can fix up a framable picture for you. I really know how important that is, and it would give me some comfort to do this for you. The world is such a better place for people that care about animals like you do. Sincerely, Maddy
Thank you for your support. I hate being at home because the house is empty and everything I do reminds me of Candy. I hate leaving my house because Candy is buried in my back yard and I feel closer to her. I am just at my wit's end sometimes.
You have a great picture of you and your dog. I wish I had gotten more pictures of Candy.
She was such a good dog even till the end. I had gotten her the "pee" pads to use in the house when I was away from the house when her kidneys first started acting up. Over the weekend and the morning I took her to the vet, she could hardly walk but she got up and wobbled over to the pads to go to the bathroom. She could of just went anywhere but she wobbled over to the pads. She was a wonderful dog.
I am so thankful for all the years we had together. I got her as a puppy for the kids but I was the one who was so attached to her. When we lived in our previous house, my son and I had a bedroom on one side of the house. My daughter was on the other side. Candy would sleep with my daughter. When we moved into this house, my son and daughter had the bedrooms on one end and I was on the other end. Candy started sleeping with me. It was like she didn't want the person who slept away from the others to be lonely.[/quote]

Missingmycandy,
I am, too, so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost the love of my life, Zoe, 30 days ago, and I feel, today, that I lost her today. I also, understand, the emptiness you feel when coming home to an empty house. However, I do have two kids, but they are grown and my lil' Zoe was the one who was jumping up n' down at the door to greet me with her loving welcome home. Don't worry about your co-workers ...I have them too ...they are just being self centered and have no idea the pain we are dealing with. Keep us posted on how you are doing...we care.
Much Love
Deanna

I am so sorry for your loss. I know only too well what you've been through and what you are going too. Your story touched me especially because my dog was named Candy as well, and though it's been several weeks, I still miss her terribly. But I hold on as much as I can to the wonderful moments we had and little by little I am healing though it still hurts. I was doing fine for the most part this week, but for some reason, last night I could sleep. I missed her lying next to me. Finally, I couldn't take it so I got a large stuffed bear I had and held on to it and was able to fall asleep eventually.

I would love hear stories about your Candy when you feel up to it. It sounds like she was a real sweetheart.

God bless and again, I'm so sorry.

Hi,

I am sorry about your loss and understand how you feel. Try to remember that in addition to giving your pet a wonderful life, you let go of her so that she could leave this earth without any suffering or fear. That is the final gift we can give to our beloved friends.

As to being alone in your house - I believe that there is no right length of time to wait before getting a new pet. It is no betrayal to bring a new dog or cat into your home, especially if you adopt a homeless pet from a shelter in honor of your departed friend. Candy would not want you to be lonely or unhappy. Only you will know when and if the time is right.

As to people who say "its just a dog." I feel sorry for them. They are missing out on something wonderful.

The pain doesn't go away, but it does get easier as time goes by. More than two years after Daisy's death, I can talk about her without crying, but I still miss her terribly - but I would rather have the pain of missing her than never have had the joy of knowing her.

D.M.

Thank you all for your support. I remember when we got Candy as a puppy. I was leaning more towards a brown puppy but my kids sat on the floor with the puppies and Candy went to them. I remember my daughter picking her up and hugging her and telling me that she was the one. It is funny the things you remember.
Candy loved the smell of flowers. When I took her outside she would just stand there and smell them. It was so cute.
As I was growing up, I heard that animals don't go to heaven. I guess that is the first thing I thought of when I put Candy to sleep. But then I thought, how does anyone know? Have they been there? So I going to believe that I will be reunited with her eventually.
She is the first thing that I think when I wake up, many times throughout the day, and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get her off my mind.
I do truly appreciate all the help everyone here is giving me.

I am so sorry about Candy. Years ago, my husband brought home a puppy we named Candy but we only had her a short time because she came to us with an awful fatal disease that we were not aware of. I never name any of my special ones with the same name so I only had one Candy but she was a puppy learning to be housebroken..except she never had a chance.

What you said about animals going to heaven....I like what one person said here that if animals don't go to heaven then they want to go where their babies go. I would join that group in a minute.

If you can, post some pictures of Candy and tell some stories that make you smile to remember. It is those memories that help us through the grieving and pain. You said you didn't know if you had enough "good" pictures of Candy. Every picture may not be perfect but every picture is one more you have. I have pictures of my special ones in every room so when I walk into a room I can look into their eyes..with a smile and an ache....but knowing in those pictures they were healthy and happy and their lives were normal...makes me remember how glad I am they were part of my life.

I am so glad you had her over 15 years....every day is a gift and it is truly wonderful when they are allowed to be with us for a number of years. I had my last baby just over 16 years..the longest I ever had one be with me..and it was a wonderful time and because of it....I could not take the emptiness of my home without that little distraction racing through the house so I adopted a new baby from the local SPCA and it really helps me a lot to have him around. I also know by getting one there, what they do to fill the new vacancy.. is rescue one from the city or county animal control so they are safe and not put down. It is kind of like rescuing 2 at the same time.


Take care..I wish you peace and healing.

I truly understand how you feel. My baby Skipper died in her sleep last night. Nothing can prepare you for the pain you feel. I had my Skipper for nearly 17 years and it was not enough. Yes, she lived a long life but not to me. I have been crying all day and I just feel sick too.

All I can tell you is that it does get better with time. I lost my Scottie to cancer 3 years ago and it was terrible. I felt numb for days. 3 months later I was ready for a different baby, and I got my Shelby. Thank God she is here for me now. I know it is way to early to think of that for you, but in time you will want another companion and your new baby really will help to ease the pain for you. Shelby helped me heal, and I love her just as much as I did Sasha. Your new baby will be a different dog, but someone new to love and explore life with.

I really don't get that group of people that feel "it was just a dog". Someone saying that to you is so insensitive. Obviously they never had the joy of experoencing the bond we all feel with an animal. How lucky both of us are to have had our babies and felt this love.

My heart goes out to you and all our fur loving friends here. Hang in there and try and remember the happy times you had with her rather than her last moments.

It seems like when Candy left me that the things that were so important before don't seem to be so now. Before I was always work, work, work. Try and get as many things done as possible. Now it is a much slower pace and whatever gets done, gets done.
The only thing I regret, is that if I had known she wasn't going to come back from the vet I would have stayed home from work and spent some time with her. But I was glad that she got to spend the last night at home and not at the vet's. I made her sleep in her pet carrier instead of sleeping with me because I didn't want her falling off the bed.
I think that if I ever get another pet, and I know I will probably, that I may get two dogs. That way if something happens to one I still have another. I am a person who is so used to taking care of others that now I am lost just taking care of myself.

You said: I think that if I ever get another pet, and I know I will probably, that I may get two dogs. That way if something happens to one I still have another. I am a person who is so used to taking care of others that now I am lost just taking care of myself.


I say: That truly is a wonderful idea. When I have had more than one..it did help a lot. As far as your last sentence...I can understand that completely.

You sound on the right track toward healing. Keep posting.

It is devastating to lose a sweetheart as all these babies are. There is some healing with time but we will love them and miss them forever for they have captured a part of our heart that will always belong to only them.

Candy and you obviously had a special love connection. Only those who have experienced such a connection in their own lives could begin to understand how much these "best friends" enrich our souls to the very deepest part of our hearts. It is sad that none of your co-workers have never known this kind of love for they are missing something very unique and everlasting. That makes you a very special person because you have been blessed having Candy in your life and truly knowing the messages of love she brought you.

Follow your heart and let Candy's sunshine guide you to a place of comfort and peace. Walk with us toward a new kind of hope of healing and picking up the pieces of your broken heart. You are not alone for we are with you and Candy's loving spirit is all around you.

In this forum you will find all you seek in comfort. There are many inspirational topics for you to read in the other sections of this site. Many times I come here just to read and most often I find what I am looking for and need. There is one topic here entitled "Just A Dog." Perhaps you can look it up. I found the article most inspiring and it surely convinced me that there are many others just like you and me who know our furry kids are much more than just a dog. My Goliath just happened to be born in a furry suit. He knew and taught me more about love than any one person I have ever known in my life. Loving souls, while here on earth, wear many different kinds of suits which they shed when they die and set their souls free. Candy's soul is free amongst all the heavenly angels.

May you find the comfort in peace you are seeking.

Hugs of comfort filled with love from my heart to yours,
Beth

"I would rather have the pain of missing her than never have had the joy of knowing her".
This quote... made me feel better about the pain I am experiencing with my loss.
Thank you
Deanna

It has been a week today that I had to put Candy to sleep. I can feel the dark cloud slowly lifting. But I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I thought I couldn't talk to Candy anymore since she passed. But when I leave for work each day and come home at night I say hi to her. It may sound a bit psychotic but it has helped me a lot. She is here in spirit as far as I am concerned.
I do appreciate all the support I have received here. It has also helped me a lot.

None of that sound psychotic at all. As far as people here...all you are doing and feeling is very normal and natural under the cir%%stances. We write our special ones a letter here at times just saying how we feel.

I have my boy's pictures in every room so when I walk into a room I can look into his eyes and say Hello or sometimes I just touch his face in the picture for a second..that being the only physical contact left I have.

You are seeing how the pain changes with time. It really never leaves completely but it becomes less devastating..it stops controlling our lives and we start trying to control it and our weapons are our pictures of our special ones as being healthy and happy times and our memories and stories we share about those happy times. We push out a sad thought by using a good thought and it helps. It is like learning to do something by repeating it over and over. That is what the healing process takes to do. I have my boy as my desktop picture on my computer and everytime I turn it on...I look right into his eyes and when I turn it off..just before the picture disappears...I say
Goodnight.

So glad to hear you are managing better. Anything positive is a baby step.

Hugs ....cause we can always use a hug..even a cyber one..in this forum..those kind come straight from the heart.

I think that is wonderful ....to continue to talk to Candy. I do the same thing, and it makes me feel better to.
Nothing psychotic about that dear. Her spirit is all around you.
Hang in there
Cyber Hug,
Deanna

I say hi to my Candy everyday as well. The silence can be deafening at times when I come home from work, but every once in a while, and I know this will sound odd, but I can almost swear I can hear her at times.

I am glad I am not the only one who talks to the deceased. I sometimes think I hear her tags jingle together but I know it must have been something else.
I think the silence is the hardest part. With just me in the house, I either have to talk to myself or Candy, or I never hear another human voice.

It has still been so very recent since you lost Candy. Hopefully reading back over these replies you received will help a little.

I agree about the silence. I found the silence in an empty house to be deafening! That is why I had to give another a home.
Even though Lucky makes us feel as though we are guests in HIS home....he never fails to distract me from my grief and many times..prevents it from overwhelming me.

Take Care...I wish you peace and healing...and Hugs