Last Thursday my 15 year old little black mutt, Libby, got pinned under my back left wheel while I was coming in our driveway. She got up, walked about 50 feet, and laid down. We brought her into the house and laid her on her bed. We called the vet and described her shallow breathing and her lack of response to us. He had us check her gum and tongue color, which was white, and said she was getting no blood flow and most likely had internal injuries. He said she most likely was in a coma and had no pain. She passed away about one hour later very peacefully. We both knew that her time was near in the next year or so as she was deaf and had bone on bone with her right hip. But I keep hearing her squeals when she was pinned beneath the tire and know that I caused her death, even though it was an accident. I feel so awful and lost without her. It is getting somewhat better as days go by as everyone says "Remember, it was an accident", and also "She most likely could not hear the car", etc. etc. I just wish I could get past the guilt....... Advice? aln3lson

Dear anl3lson, sooooooo sorry to hear the loss you're feeling. May I offer you another view? I've lost 4 beloved cats since 2002, and my father last year. Having repeatedly watched how souls leave, I've come to believe that souls leave precisely when they're ready. Animals in particular shed their meat suits with such ease, just like shrugging off an old coat. No drama. They're just shifting states. If her hip was bone on bone, she may well have decided it was time to take her exit. And I'm not talking about Libby the dog, who would have gladly stayed every last day she could with you -- I'm talking about her soul. A lovely spark of source light, who had been here to love you, and let you experience loving her. A soul who said, "I've done everything I need to do. The only part left is the part with physical pain." She had no need to do that part, so she shrugged off her Libby body. The body squealed, of course -- that's what bodies do. But her soul was sighing in release. She's feeling light and frisky, joyous to be free of that heavy physical body. And she's right with you too. She's still very nearby. When you wonder maybe that might be ...? it is.

Grieve the sadness in the separation. But please don't grieve the timing or the manner of her death. She chose it. Libby the dog was just waddling across the driveway; Libby the soul said let's go home.

My condolences..... Please share a picture of her ~Kimberly

Thank you for your message - it really helped in thinking about the "soul". I did post Libby's picture. aln3son

Mink&WM,
that was an inspiring well thoughout reply.

aln3lson,
i have had a couple of close calls with my blak lab, the escape artist when i've come barreling down my driveway. Seems she finds new ways to escape from her kennel when i'm out and about. One day when i wasn't expecting it she came running towards my Jeep and i'd of hit her if i didn't catch a flash of her in my peripherial vision.
Accidents happen and there's nothing we can do to change the outcome only accept it, learn and move on! I'm in no way down playing your loss and guilt but to dwell on it isn't gonna be beneficial to your mental health and life's other pending priorities.

Take care,
-Ken

Dear aln3lson my name is Warren and I to had a terrible terrible accident involving our little boy his name was Freddie ! back in january it was so horrible and so traumatic I know it was not my fault but it still haunts me everyday,I lost 15 kilograms and was so depressed I still dont know weather time really helps but I have learn't to move forward from it but I will never get over it .The last post you recived was so so beautiful and comforting . This web site was the only thing that gets me thru some days so please don't think your alone there is always someone to talk to try not to go over it to much it will just do your head in but try to replace the bad memories with all the good ones you must have after so many wonderful years together ! Im am so sorry for you lose be kind to yourself
Warren Freddies loving dad *********xx

i'm sorry for your loss. it was an accident. you have a beautiful new angel. she knows how much you love her and she would never blame you. she would want you to remember the happy good times. i wish you strength.

with love corina & her angels

Thank you all for your kind words. The "soul" post really comforted me as I can see Libby chasing chipmunks as she did in her younger days and tipping her head to the side when you spoke to her as she did before her hearing deteriorated. Thanks so much. aln3lson

I am deeply sadden by your story and wish I had better words to comfort you in this time of pain.

I lost Candy a few weeks ago from cancer and I had several months to get use to the idea that I will soon loose her, but to loose a furkid by accident is an aweful feeling. 7 years ago Candy's sister, who like Duncan, was also an escape artist. When my partner and I went to a company function at Knott's Berry Farm and decided to have a last minute late dinner afterwards fills me with such guilt at times (I still haven't been back to Knott's Berry Farm.). For you see, when I got home, I heard Candy barking, but Pepper was missing.

Ever the escape artist, I called out for Pepper. Normally she'll run right back home. This time she didn't and my heart pounded. I checked the phone messages and sure enough someone left a message that Pepper was struck by a car. I called up the vet that had her and he told me she just died.

I collapsed. Literally. It was all I could do to keep it together. Never had I wailed in such pain in all my life.

I kept telling myself that if came home just 30 minutes earlier, I might have been able to save her. But I wasn't and for that it took a long time for me to get over the guilt. I'm still working on it.

So I feel your pain.

Please hang in there and know we'll be thinking about you this week and know we're hear to support if you ever need to vent or just share some wonderful memories.

All my Best,

Candy's Dad

Hal