so, my kitty blackfoot died a little while ago, two weeks, to be exact. i still feel empty and lost and just so sad.
she was my best friend, my protector, my confidant, and so much more than what i keep being told she was.
calling her a pet doesn't even begin to cover it. she was more than family.
you see, she found me 2 weeks before my 8th birthday. she walked into my family courtyard and has never left. the first thing we did when she found us was give her warmed cream (just a little, we didn't want her to be sick) and some salmon.
i grew up with a kinda crazy mom, but who didn't? every time she would yell or scream or hit me, there came blackfoot like a bullet out of nowhere, meowing and (gently) biting my mom till she stopped.
i told her all my secrets, and she was always there, curled up in my lap while i was sad or sick.
after my back surgery, she was my constant companion, doing her best to help me get better.
since she's been gone, i haven't really cared about anything.
i feel like a part of me that i didn't realize i had died with her. one of the best parts of me.
will i ever hurt any less? does it ever stop hurting?
i guess i'm looking for reassurance that someone else knows how i feel, and that someday, i'll just be happy i knew her, and remember the good times and be happy that i might be with her again someday.
i feel so foolish that i still cry myself to sleep almost every night, that i hurt thinking about her and the fact that she is gone.
so, i guess to end my ramble, any advice? any help?
thank you all.
~demi
Full Version: How Do I Quit Crying?
Am so sorry you have lost your Baby blackfoot I wish I could say or do something to relieve your pain, believe me am going thru sad times my self cause I also lost my best friend of 11 years the last 20th of June and like you am a total mess and am sure that it will be this way for a while. Every time I feel sad lonely and all of that together I just grab his ashes and hold it against my chest and cry remembering all the good times we had together thru the years, Gad bless you and here you will find the love and compation you need, welcome, Buster and Jorge 
Click to view attachment
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thank you very much, i wish i could help you too.
this place is very wonderful, and i'm so glad its here.
~demiClick to view attachment (my blackfoot, the best cat i'll ever have)
this place is very wonderful, and i'm so glad its here.
~demiClick to view attachment (my blackfoot, the best cat i'll ever have)
I truly am saddened to learn that your precious Blackfoot has passed away. Your story describes much of how I lived life with my Goliath. He too was my constant companion and helped me get through 13 months of treatments as he laid by my side and gave me comfort. Our love for each other was like no other. He was my son and meant more to me than any other living person alive or dead. I know exactly how you feel Demi.
When Goliath passed away I too felt like a part of me had died. Over time I came to realize that only his body perished and not his soul. It is his soul that is so alive and well in me now, always, and forever. He'll always be at my side and a part of each and everything I do.
One day you too will come to know that Blackfoot left far more than grief when the angels carried her away. Her gift to you is all the wonderful and happy memories you and she made together. Because of the love you and Blackfoot shared, your hearts are bound forever..........never to be broken. Each day you will pick up a small piece of your broken heart as you come to realize what her true lessons of love brought you.
Many people describe the loss of their furry kid as being the most difficult kind of grieving there possibly could ever be. The deep agonizing and hurtful kind of emotions we feel is crippling. I fell into such a deep dark hole of sadness I thought I'd never find my way out..........and quite frankly I didn't want to because I thought dying had to be better than what I was going through because it felt like I was living in hell.
Time does help heal our wounds. I always remember yesterday fondly and give thanks for today. Goliath still follows me wherever I go. Because of him..........I am a much better me.
Coming to LS and talking about Goliath and sharing in other people's losses helped me so much. It is through the exchanges we make with each other that keeps the spirit of love alive. We grow together here as we walk with each other down that long road toward finding peace again in our hearts.
Your world was turned upside down when Blackfoot passed away, just as my whole world was. My world is right side up again and yours will be too, I promise. Just give yourself time and be patient. Listen to your heart and you will hear Blackfoot telling you she is alive and well. Your heart is where she lives forever.
Many comforting hugs filled with love from my heart to yours,
Beth
When Goliath passed away I too felt like a part of me had died. Over time I came to realize that only his body perished and not his soul. It is his soul that is so alive and well in me now, always, and forever. He'll always be at my side and a part of each and everything I do.
One day you too will come to know that Blackfoot left far more than grief when the angels carried her away. Her gift to you is all the wonderful and happy memories you and she made together. Because of the love you and Blackfoot shared, your hearts are bound forever..........never to be broken. Each day you will pick up a small piece of your broken heart as you come to realize what her true lessons of love brought you.
Many people describe the loss of their furry kid as being the most difficult kind of grieving there possibly could ever be. The deep agonizing and hurtful kind of emotions we feel is crippling. I fell into such a deep dark hole of sadness I thought I'd never find my way out..........and quite frankly I didn't want to because I thought dying had to be better than what I was going through because it felt like I was living in hell.
Time does help heal our wounds. I always remember yesterday fondly and give thanks for today. Goliath still follows me wherever I go. Because of him..........I am a much better me.
Coming to LS and talking about Goliath and sharing in other people's losses helped me so much. It is through the exchanges we make with each other that keeps the spirit of love alive. We grow together here as we walk with each other down that long road toward finding peace again in our hearts.
Your world was turned upside down when Blackfoot passed away, just as my whole world was. My world is right side up again and yours will be too, I promise. Just give yourself time and be patient. Listen to your heart and you will hear Blackfoot telling you she is alive and well. Your heart is where she lives forever.
Many comforting hugs filled with love from my heart to yours,
Beth
QUOTE (demi @ Jul 8 2008, 08:08 PM) 
so, my kitty blackfoot died a little while ago, two weeks, to be exact. i still feel empty and lost and just so sad.
she was my best friend, my protector, my confidant, and so much more than what i keep being told she was.
calling her a pet doesn't even begin to cover it. she was more than family.
you see, she found me 2 weeks before my 8th birthday. she walked into my family courtyard and has never left. the first thing we did when she found us was give her warmed cream (just a little, we didn't want her to be sick) and some salmon.
i grew up with a kinda crazy mom, but who didn't? every time she would yell or scream or hit me, there came blackfoot like a bullet out of nowhere, meowing and (gently) biting my mom till she stopped.
i told her all my secrets, and she was always there, curled up in my lap while i was sad or sick.
after my back surgery, she was my constant companion, doing her best to help me get better.
since she's been gone, i haven't really cared about anything.
i feel like a part of me that i didn't realize i had died with her. one of the best parts of me.
will i ever hurt any less? does it ever stop hurting?
i guess i'm looking for reassurance that someone else knows how i feel, and that someday, i'll just be happy i knew her, and remember the good times and be happy that i might be with her again someday.
i feel so foolish that i still cry myself to sleep almost every night, that i hurt thinking about her and the fact that she is gone.
so, i guess to end my ramble, any advice? any help?
thank you all.
~demi
she was my best friend, my protector, my confidant, and so much more than what i keep being told she was.
calling her a pet doesn't even begin to cover it. she was more than family.
you see, she found me 2 weeks before my 8th birthday. she walked into my family courtyard and has never left. the first thing we did when she found us was give her warmed cream (just a little, we didn't want her to be sick) and some salmon.
i grew up with a kinda crazy mom, but who didn't? every time she would yell or scream or hit me, there came blackfoot like a bullet out of nowhere, meowing and (gently) biting my mom till she stopped.
i told her all my secrets, and she was always there, curled up in my lap while i was sad or sick.
after my back surgery, she was my constant companion, doing her best to help me get better.
since she's been gone, i haven't really cared about anything.
i feel like a part of me that i didn't realize i had died with her. one of the best parts of me.
will i ever hurt any less? does it ever stop hurting?
i guess i'm looking for reassurance that someone else knows how i feel, and that someday, i'll just be happy i knew her, and remember the good times and be happy that i might be with her again someday.
i feel so foolish that i still cry myself to sleep almost every night, that i hurt thinking about her and the fact that she is gone.
so, i guess to end my ramble, any advice? any help?
thank you all.
~demi
you are not foolish! i know how you feel. i have lost many special cats that are like family. i recently lost my 1 year old baby acorn to f.i.p. about two weeks ago. i have been a mess. some people dont understand but it makes me feel better in my heart that you do. painful tears turn to happy tears with time but you never know how long that will take. im here if you ever want to talk. your new kitty angel knows how much she was loved and is with you.
with love corina and her angels
making acorn a tribute has helped :
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea...endid=392175618
QUOTE
so, my kitty blackfoot died a little while ago, two weeks, to be exact. i still feel empty and lost and just so sad.
she was my best friend, my protector, my confidant, and so much more than what i keep being told she was.
calling her a pet doesn't even begin to cover it. she was more than family.
she was my best friend, my protector, my confidant, and so much more than what i keep being told she was.
calling her a pet doesn't even begin to cover it. she was more than family.
Sometimes we are lucky enough to have an animal friend who turns out to be so much more than a "pet" it takes new words.
My Miles convinced me she was my wife. She scolded me when I worked too long, came and got me when supper was ready, guarded me when I took a bath, and inspected new visitors to make sure they passed Security Checks.
When I lost her it was worse that losing a human relative. Four months later I still have bad moments when I find her things she left behind. It never seems to get "Better" but it does get different.
My "New Hire" does his best to cheer me up..I never laughed after Miles died till he got here. But he is not her, and never will be.
QUOTE (Jon730 @ Jul 9 2008, 08:04 AM)
Sometimes we are lucky enough to have an animal friend who turns out to be so much more than a "pet" it takes new words.
My Miles convinced me she was my wife. She scolded me when I worked too long, came and got me when supper was ready, guarded me when I took a bath, and inspected new visitors to make sure they passed Security Checks.
When I lost her it was worse that losing a human relative. Four months later I still have bad moments when I find her things she left behind. It never seems to get "Better" but it does get different.
My "New Hire" does his best to cheer me up..I never laughed after Miles died till he got here. But he is not her, and never will be.
My Miles convinced me she was my wife. She scolded me when I worked too long, came and got me when supper was ready, guarded me when I took a bath, and inspected new visitors to make sure they passed Security Checks.
When I lost her it was worse that losing a human relative. Four months later I still have bad moments when I find her things she left behind. It never seems to get "Better" but it does get different.
My "New Hire" does his best to cheer me up..I never laughed after Miles died till he got here. But he is not her, and never will be.
that is so sweet that she was like your wife. i feel like acorn was my soulmate in the kitty form. he made some mistakes that annoyed me but i could never stay mad at him. he left one night for hours but came back hoping for a hug and forgiveness. he did nothing but love me. he always welcomed me home and lit up when he saw me. i wanted to be with him so much and thought of him and looked at his pic on the wall when i was away at school. he always made me happy and laugh. and now without him i am broken hearted. this is hard. im so sorry for your loss
with love corina and her angels
Hi, Demi, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Blackfoot. Please rest assured that you are not foolish for crying, for your tears are healing tears in your grief journey. To try to deny your feelings and to try to force yourself not to cry would be very unhealthy. Yes, losing a beloved furchild does feel like a part of us dies with them - - like they take the best part of us with them. That's because they give us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and this makes our grieving even harder when we lose them. This grief journey is a one day at a time journey - - it unfortunately cannot be rushed, there is no fast forwarding to get through this - - no jumping to the end of the novel to find out how it all works out. The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us here does know what it is like to lose a beloved furchild, and we are here for you for as long as you need us. And yes, someday when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of Blackfoot and smiling - - and then you will know she is still with you - - her living Spirit is always with you in your heart and memories - -and nothing can ever take that away from you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Demi, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Demi,
I too lost my little man almost 2 weeks ago, this Saturday coming to be exact. I had him for 10 years and he was my special little gift from god. I will never ever ever find a cat like him again.... He was like a person. Such unconditional love from a human I could not receive in my wildest dreams.
I know of your pain, it hurts like hell. I am feeling a little better almost at the 2 week mark, but I still see him everywhere, even when I forget for an hour or two.
Everyone on this website is special, they all care, and I don't think I would have been remotely OK if I didn't get the support from these wonderful people. They all have their own pain and memories, and I commend them for opening up their wounds to try to help us new people to this forum.
God bless each and every one of you...... you've helped me and I hope that, Demi, you'll see that you have friends here who care with all their hearts.
I am sorry for your loss, as I know how much it hurts....
Geese
I too lost my little man almost 2 weeks ago, this Saturday coming to be exact. I had him for 10 years and he was my special little gift from god. I will never ever ever find a cat like him again.... He was like a person. Such unconditional love from a human I could not receive in my wildest dreams.
I know of your pain, it hurts like hell. I am feeling a little better almost at the 2 week mark, but I still see him everywhere, even when I forget for an hour or two.
Everyone on this website is special, they all care, and I don't think I would have been remotely OK if I didn't get the support from these wonderful people. They all have their own pain and memories, and I commend them for opening up their wounds to try to help us new people to this forum.
God bless each and every one of you...... you've helped me and I hope that, Demi, you'll see that you have friends here who care with all their hearts.
I am sorry for your loss, as I know how much it hurts....
Geese
Hi, Demi
I am so sorry about your loss of Blackfoot. That is a really nice picture of her on a ladder....seems like kitties love to climb..mine always did.
you said:
i guess i'm looking for reassurance that someone else knows how i feel, and that someday, i'll just be happy i knew her, and remember the good times and be happy that i might be with her again someday.
i feel so foolish that i still cry myself to sleep almost every night, that i hurt thinking about her and the fact that she is gone.
Many in this forum know exactly how you feel. You are not alone in your pain...it is being shared by others. What you said
is so true...you will concentrated more on being happy you knew her and the good memories are what helped to erase the sadness and the pain. It really never goes away because these babies were a part of our life and everything connected to them will remain with us forever but the pain does get less intense and we are able to put it away at times.
Don't ever feel foolish about crying....that a very very normal thing to do and it is so very recent you lost her. Everything you feel is normal...don't even think it isn't.
What you said about knowing her reminds me of my favorite Mom saying I found in this forum...she said:
The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.
That says so very much and sums up a lot of feelings very well.
Come here and tell us about your baby...share your thoughts and stories about her that make you smile to remember. That helps the healing....being able to talk things out.
I'm sorry I didn't see your topic earlier as I would have responded much sooner. But sometimes it can become hard to find new topics here. I hope we see you back here.
Take care...hugs to you. you now have a beautiful Angel watching over you. Please post more pictures here in your topic... if you feel like it. We would love to see more of Blackfoot and hear more about her.
I am so sorry about your loss of Blackfoot. That is a really nice picture of her on a ladder....seems like kitties love to climb..mine always did.
you said:
i guess i'm looking for reassurance that someone else knows how i feel, and that someday, i'll just be happy i knew her, and remember the good times and be happy that i might be with her again someday.
i feel so foolish that i still cry myself to sleep almost every night, that i hurt thinking about her and the fact that she is gone.
Many in this forum know exactly how you feel. You are not alone in your pain...it is being shared by others. What you said
is so true...you will concentrated more on being happy you knew her and the good memories are what helped to erase the sadness and the pain. It really never goes away because these babies were a part of our life and everything connected to them will remain with us forever but the pain does get less intense and we are able to put it away at times.
Don't ever feel foolish about crying....that a very very normal thing to do and it is so very recent you lost her. Everything you feel is normal...don't even think it isn't.
What you said about knowing her reminds me of my favorite Mom saying I found in this forum...she said:
The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.
That says so very much and sums up a lot of feelings very well.
Come here and tell us about your baby...share your thoughts and stories about her that make you smile to remember. That helps the healing....being able to talk things out.
I'm sorry I didn't see your topic earlier as I would have responded much sooner. But sometimes it can become hard to find new topics here. I hope we see you back here.
Take care...hugs to you. you now have a beautiful Angel watching over you. Please post more pictures here in your topic... if you feel like it. We would love to see more of Blackfoot and hear more about her.
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