This is somewhat of an entailed story but as my heart aches and I'm searching for some comfort and peace I feel blessed to have found this wonderfully supportive site.
I had never had a dog and never wanted one but my partner loved dogs and had always had dogs. Finally, I agreed to just go look at some ~~z zu puppies. Needless to say, there was one precious baby who looked at me with her baby brown eyes and her little pink tongue stuck half way out of her mouth. I instantly fell in love and my life was never the same again. That was 11 years ago. Bailey and I did everything together. She was the first thing I saw when I woke up and the last thing I saw when I fell asleep at night. She didn't care what time I woke up; she was there and waiting to sit in my lap and do whatever I wanted. When my partner had to be out of town, Bailey was my comforter and companion. She was the joy I saw each day when I came home from work and the precious baby who walked me to the door each morning as I left for work.
Throughout her 11 years Bailey had her eye scratched by one of our two cats, had severe allergies, had to have several fatty tumors removed, had several stones on her kidneys, and just last year (during our week of planned vacation to Florida) she had a tumor on her adrenal gland that required major surgery at an out of town specialty hospital. At that time we knew that she had one kidney smaller than the other and one good kidney. The doctor explained that all should go well but the worst case scenario would be that one of the dormant kidney stones some day slipped and lodged in the good kidney tract. Bailey recovered from her surgery as always, just like a trooper! We started feeding her special kidney food, she took kidney medication and thyroid medication in addition to her allergies medication. We felt that we were doing everything to protect her and would have another several years of life with our baby.
Just two or two and a half weeks ago, Bailey had her comprehensive exams done (annual exams). It was a great day because it was one of the first times of many, many visits to her doctor that we were not asked to "step into a room" to hear more about what was wrong with her this time. We were so happy for her that she had a good result. Llast Wednesday as we were preparing for our vacation to Florida (same week as last year!), I took Bailey to be groomed and to have her parvo nose spray treatment and distemper shot. I picked her up from the vet and everything was good. I dreaded being without her as we were leaving on Sunday for vacation to Florida but my partner assured me that all would be good and we knew we had two wonderful women housesitting/babysitting our Bailey and two cats.
On Wednesday and Thursday Bailey didn't seem to feel her best but often times she would feel a bit lethargic from her low energy level and would bounce right back and since we had just had her comprehensive exam with good results and she had just had her shots we thought that everything was fine. We had a wedding to be a part of last Saturday so we were quite busy on Friday and Saturday even though we were leaving on Sunday morning. She loved for me to sing to her and most of the day on Friday I was practicing my song for the wedding and she lay on the couch watching me sing as she always did. We left the house on Saturday for the wedding around 3:00 but my partner's dad and his wife were at our home with Bailey until about 7:00 pm and we returned home around 11 pm. When we arrived home Bailey was sitting in the chair just inside our front door (not the usual place she stays while we are gone; she is usually on the edge of the couch arm peeking around the corner at us). It was late and my partner fed Bailey and brought her to bed. She did not take a walk that night. When in bed she acted as normal and slept snuggly in between us. We woke up early and I still dreaded leaving her. She had needed to get up two times between 12:00 and 4:30 to go outside to potty. When I got up with her at 4:30 I stayed up and we sat on the couch. She had some chills so I covered her with her blankie and we sat together for about an hour. Sometimes from time to time she would have chills but the doctor had said that was probably because of her age and the kidney/thyroid issues she had. As I finished packing, I took Bailey upstairs to sit on the bed. She just seemed to sit there and watch and didn't want to lie down as she usually did. Finally, I kind of gently pushed her body so that she could lie down and rest while we were finishing up our packing. Her chills seemed to subside a bit. About an hour later it was time to leave for Florida. My partner and I lifted Bailey off the ground and gave her big kisses on each side of her fuzzy face. She didn't walk us to the door that morning which was odd. She just stood on the living room step and watched us leave. My partner was convinced that Bailey was pouting because she knew that packed bags meant we were all going on a trip and she wasn't getting to go this time.
Bailey's aunties who would be staying with her and our cats for the week arrived around 12:30 or so. They said when they came in the house she seemed a bit odd and just stood and stared at them. As they approached her she tinkled on the floor which was not Baily at all. They quickly noticed spots of diarhea on the floor which was not her at all. We had arrived in Florida already so they called. My partner said her dad had fed her some ham the day before and it was probably just an upset stomach which she did have from time to time so it seemed to make sense. I kept saying I didn't think she felt well and they should take her to her doctor but everyone else seemed to believe her tummy was upset. Sure enough they called back in about an hour and said Bailey was resting with one of them and taking a nap on the couch. She slept for an hour or so and they went to get her some chicken. They called back and said she had eaten a little chicken and had even been outside to potty and her bm seemed a bit more solid. All good signs of improvement ... or so we thought. They called back one more time and said Bailey was taking another nap and was resting. We went to dinner thinking Bailey was better. About 10:00 Sunday night they called again and said Bailey was having some type of convulsion/seizure and was yelping. As quickly as possible, they took her to the animal emergency room where they began testing for poisoning and other things. They determined that her glucose level had dropped to 4!! They began her on fluids and glucose. It was one very long night as our baby was here and we were in Floriday, even though she was two of her aunties who couldn't have taken better care of her. They stayed with her all night at the animal hospital. The next morning at 8 they transported her to her regular doctor. They did an ultrasound and found that the worst case scenario had ocurred! The kidney stone had slipped into and lodged. They quickly sent us back to Cincinnati to the emergency specialty hospital. The glucose wasn't stabilizing and she had to have her iv all the way on the hour and a half drive. They also had sugar water to give her. She had had one other seizure in the night at the emergency hospital.
At this point my partner had planned a flight into Cincinnati but couldn't get there until Monday evening around 8:15. Another of our friends made the trip with Baily as well so she had three ofher loving aunties with her until my partner arrived. The doctor confirmed that the kidney stone was in the tract of the good kidney and she had already lost 75% of her kidney functioning. Infection had also ocurred and had affected the pancreas in some way (it is all running together right now). They said Baily was in pain and didn't feel her quality of life would ever be good even if she could make it through the surgery. The worst time of our lives had arrived. When my partner finally got to our baby girl, Bailey, she was heavily sedated to help ease her pain. She spoke to the internalist, surgeon and had them call her regular doctor back at home. They all agreed Bailey's quality of life would not be good. By 11:30 Monday evening my partner held our baby girl close in her arms and gave her love and kisses as she apologized for not being able to save her and keep her safe this time. She said Bailey gave her a very weak glimpse with her brown eyes and she knew then it was her sign that Bailey was tired and was ready to go. She was held and loved until the very end and then about 30 minutes afterwards.
I am not a good bearer of pain and Bailey knew that. She knew I got very upset when she was not feeling well. We had always talked about whether I would be able to be with her during her final hours and how I would feel guilty if I wasn't. If I had been home when Bailey had her seizure I would have absolutely freaked out of control just because I get so stressed in those situations. I want to believe that Bailey had a plan to protect me but it is just so hard. I feel guilty for leaving her that morning because I felt like she didn't feel good but we just thought we was pouting. I wonder if she was asking us to please stay with her. I wonder what she must have been thinking about us just walking out on her when she didn't feel well. I understand that I will never know and I can't keep saying "what if" but I'm just searching for some comfort and peace.
Life is already not the same. The hardest part is all of the "no mores." Everywhere I look I see our memories and what we did together. It is so very hard. I would appreciate any words of comfort or insight that you might have.
Baby Girl Bailey's Grieving Mom!
Full Version: My Heart Aches For My Bailey ...
From your posting, it seems clear that Bailey had a wonderful life, filled with love and happiness. That it ended was beyond your control. You and your partner did everything possible to prolong her life and at the end, helped her to leave without unnecessary pain or fear. She passed away in the arms of your partner, who loved her as much as you did. As long as one of you were with her - I think that was enough.
As to the "no mores" I know just how you feel. After my Daisy passed away, I kept thinking of the "no mores" and the "last times." - no more circling for joy when I came home, no more licks, no more treats, no more knowing that there was someone here who would love and protect me with all of her 6 pound self. It has been over two years since Daisy left. Time does make it easier. I can talk about her now without crying.
The thing to remember is that Bailey was born into this world with a life expectancy of a dog. Whether you had brought her into your home or not, she would have lived her life and died. The difference is that without you, she almost certainly would not have had the wonderful life that she had. The price for her happiness then is your sorry now. There is no way to avoid that. But, I am sure that you feel as I do - Bailey, like Daisy, was worth every the pain - I would not have missed a moment with her, no matter how badly I had to feel afterwards.
Best wishes,
D.M.
As to the "no mores" I know just how you feel. After my Daisy passed away, I kept thinking of the "no mores" and the "last times." - no more circling for joy when I came home, no more licks, no more treats, no more knowing that there was someone here who would love and protect me with all of her 6 pound self. It has been over two years since Daisy left. Time does make it easier. I can talk about her now without crying.
The thing to remember is that Bailey was born into this world with a life expectancy of a dog. Whether you had brought her into your home or not, she would have lived her life and died. The difference is that without you, she almost certainly would not have had the wonderful life that she had. The price for her happiness then is your sorry now. There is no way to avoid that. But, I am sure that you feel as I do - Bailey, like Daisy, was worth every the pain - I would not have missed a moment with her, no matter how badly I had to feel afterwards.
Best wishes,
D.M.
QUOTE (lfowler @ Jun 27 2008, 11:35 AM) 
This is somewhat of an entailed story but as my heart aches and I'm searching for some comfort and peace I feel blessed to have found this wonderfully supportive site.
I had never had a dog and never wanted one but my partner loved dogs and had always had dogs. Finally, I agreed to just go look at some ~~z zu puppies. Needless to say, there was one precious baby who looked at me with her baby brown eyes and her little pink tongue stuck half way out of her mouth. I instantly fell in love and my life was never the same again. That was 11 years ago. Bailey and I did everything together. She was the first thing I saw when I woke up and the last thing I saw when I fell asleep at night. She didn't care what time I woke up; she was there and waiting to sit in my lap and do whatever I wanted. When my partner had to be out of town, Bailey was my comforter and companion. She was the joy I saw each day when I came home from work and the precious baby who walked me to the door each morning as I left for work.
Throughout her 11 years Bailey had her eye scratched by one of our two cats, had severe allergies, had to have several fatty tumors removed, had several stones on her kidneys, and just last year (during our week of planned vacation to Florida) she had a tumor on her adrenal gland that required major surgery at an out of town specialty hospital. At that time we knew that she had one kidney smaller than the other and one good kidney. The doctor explained that all should go well but the worst case scenario would be that one of the dormant kidney stones some day slipped and lodged in the good kidney tract. Bailey recovered from her surgery as always, just like a trooper! We started feeding her special kidney food, she took kidney medication and thyroid medication in addition to her allergies medication. We felt that we were doing everything to protect her and would have another several years of life with our baby.
Just two or two and a half weeks ago, Bailey had her comprehensive exams done (annual exams). It was a great day because it was one of the first times of many, many visits to her doctor that we were not asked to "step into a room" to hear more about what was wrong with her this time. We were so happy for her that she had a good result. Llast Wednesday as we were preparing for our vacation to Florida (same week as last year!), I took Bailey to be groomed and to have her parvo nose spray treatment and distemper shot. I picked her up from the vet and everything was good. I dreaded being without her as we were leaving on Sunday for vacation to Florida but my partner assured me that all would be good and we knew we had two wonderful women housesitting/babysitting our Bailey and two cats.
On Wednesday and Thursday Bailey didn't seem to feel her best but often times she would feel a bit lethargic from her low energy level and would bounce right back and since we had just had her comprehensive exam with good results and she had just had her shots we thought that everything was fine. We had a wedding to be a part of last Saturday so we were quite busy on Friday and Saturday even though we were leaving on Sunday morning. She loved for me to sing to her and most of the day on Friday I was practicing my song for the wedding and she lay on the couch watching me sing as she always did. We left the house on Saturday for the wedding around 3:00 but my partner's dad and his wife were at our home with Bailey until about 7:00 pm and we returned home around 11 pm. When we arrived home Bailey was sitting in the chair just inside our front door (not the usual place she stays while we are gone; she is usually on the edge of the couch arm peeking around the corner at us). It was late and my partner fed Bailey and brought her to bed. She did not take a walk that night. When in bed she acted as normal and slept snuggly in between us. We woke up early and I still dreaded leaving her. She had needed to get up two times between 12:00 and 4:30 to go outside to potty. When I got up with her at 4:30 I stayed up and we sat on the couch. She had some chills so I covered her with her blankie and we sat together for about an hour. Sometimes from time to time she would have chills but the doctor had said that was probably because of her age and the kidney/thyroid issues she had. As I finished packing, I took Bailey upstairs to sit on the bed. She just seemed to sit there and watch and didn't want to lie down as she usually did. Finally, I kind of gently pushed her body so that she could lie down and rest while we were finishing up our packing. Her chills seemed to subside a bit. About an hour later it was time to leave for Florida. My partner and I lifted Bailey off the ground and gave her big kisses on each side of her fuzzy face. She didn't walk us to the door that morning which was odd. She just stood on the living room step and watched us leave. My partner was convinced that Bailey was pouting because she knew that packed bags meant we were all going on a trip and she wasn't getting to go this time.
Bailey's aunties who would be staying with her and our cats for the week arrived around 12:30 or so. They said when they came in the house she seemed a bit odd and just stood and stared at them. As they approached her she tinkled on the floor which was not Baily at all. They quickly noticed spots of diarhea on the floor which was not her at all. We had arrived in Florida already so they called. My partner said her dad had fed her some ham the day before and it was probably just an upset stomach which she did have from time to time so it seemed to make sense. I kept saying I didn't think she felt well and they should take her to her doctor but everyone else seemed to believe her tummy was upset. Sure enough they called back in about an hour and said Bailey was resting with one of them and taking a nap on the couch. She slept for an hour or so and they went to get her some chicken. They called back and said she had eaten a little chicken and had even been outside to potty and her bm seemed a bit more solid. All good signs of improvement ... or so we thought. They called back one more time and said Bailey was taking another nap and was resting. We went to dinner thinking Bailey was better. About 10:00 Sunday night they called again and said Bailey was having some type of convulsion/seizure and was yelping. As quickly as possible, they took her to the animal emergency room where they began testing for poisoning and other things. They determined that her glucose level had dropped to 4!! They began her on fluids and glucose. It was one very long night as our baby was here and we were in Floriday, even though she was two of her aunties who couldn't have taken better care of her. They stayed with her all night at the animal hospital. The next morning at 8 they transported her to her regular doctor. They did an ultrasound and found that the worst case scenario had ocurred! The kidney stone had slipped into and lodged. They quickly sent us back to Cincinnati to the emergency specialty hospital. The glucose wasn't stabilizing and she had to have her iv all the way on the hour and a half drive. They also had sugar water to give her. She had had one other seizure in the night at the emergency hospital.
At this point my partner had planned a flight into Cincinnati but couldn't get there until Monday evening around 8:15. Another of our friends made the trip with Baily as well so she had three ofher loving aunties with her until my partner arrived. The doctor confirmed that the kidney stone was in the tract of the good kidney and she had already lost 75% of her kidney functioning. Infection had also ocurred and had affected the pancreas in some way (it is all running together right now). They said Baily was in pain and didn't feel her quality of life would ever be good even if she could make it through the surgery. The worst time of our lives had arrived. When my partner finally got to our baby girl, Bailey, she was heavily sedated to help ease her pain. She spoke to the internalist, surgeon and had them call her regular doctor back at home. They all agreed Bailey's quality of life would not be good. By 11:30 Monday evening my partner held our baby girl close in her arms and gave her love and kisses as she apologized for not being able to save her and keep her safe this time. She said Bailey gave her a very weak glimpse with her brown eyes and she knew then it was her sign that Bailey was tired and was ready to go. She was held and loved until the very end and then about 30 minutes afterwards.
I am not a good bearer of pain and Bailey knew that. She knew I got very upset when she was not feeling well. We had always talked about whether I would be able to be with her during her final hours and how I would feel guilty if I wasn't. If I had been home when Bailey had her seizure I would have absolutely freaked out of control just because I get so stressed in those situations. I want to believe that Bailey had a plan to protect me but it is just so hard. I feel guilty for leaving her that morning because I felt like she didn't feel good but we just thought we was pouting. I wonder if she was asking us to please stay with her. I wonder what she must have been thinking about us just walking out on her when she didn't feel well. I understand that I will never know and I can't keep saying "what if" but I'm just searching for some comfort and peace.
Life is already not the same. The hardest part is all of the "no mores." Everywhere I look I see our memories and what we did together. It is so very hard. I would appreciate any words of comfort or insight that you might have.
Baby Girl Bailey's Grieving Mom!
I had never had a dog and never wanted one but my partner loved dogs and had always had dogs. Finally, I agreed to just go look at some ~~z zu puppies. Needless to say, there was one precious baby who looked at me with her baby brown eyes and her little pink tongue stuck half way out of her mouth. I instantly fell in love and my life was never the same again. That was 11 years ago. Bailey and I did everything together. She was the first thing I saw when I woke up and the last thing I saw when I fell asleep at night. She didn't care what time I woke up; she was there and waiting to sit in my lap and do whatever I wanted. When my partner had to be out of town, Bailey was my comforter and companion. She was the joy I saw each day when I came home from work and the precious baby who walked me to the door each morning as I left for work.
Throughout her 11 years Bailey had her eye scratched by one of our two cats, had severe allergies, had to have several fatty tumors removed, had several stones on her kidneys, and just last year (during our week of planned vacation to Florida) she had a tumor on her adrenal gland that required major surgery at an out of town specialty hospital. At that time we knew that she had one kidney smaller than the other and one good kidney. The doctor explained that all should go well but the worst case scenario would be that one of the dormant kidney stones some day slipped and lodged in the good kidney tract. Bailey recovered from her surgery as always, just like a trooper! We started feeding her special kidney food, she took kidney medication and thyroid medication in addition to her allergies medication. We felt that we were doing everything to protect her and would have another several years of life with our baby.
Just two or two and a half weeks ago, Bailey had her comprehensive exams done (annual exams). It was a great day because it was one of the first times of many, many visits to her doctor that we were not asked to "step into a room" to hear more about what was wrong with her this time. We were so happy for her that she had a good result. Llast Wednesday as we were preparing for our vacation to Florida (same week as last year!), I took Bailey to be groomed and to have her parvo nose spray treatment and distemper shot. I picked her up from the vet and everything was good. I dreaded being without her as we were leaving on Sunday for vacation to Florida but my partner assured me that all would be good and we knew we had two wonderful women housesitting/babysitting our Bailey and two cats.
On Wednesday and Thursday Bailey didn't seem to feel her best but often times she would feel a bit lethargic from her low energy level and would bounce right back and since we had just had her comprehensive exam with good results and she had just had her shots we thought that everything was fine. We had a wedding to be a part of last Saturday so we were quite busy on Friday and Saturday even though we were leaving on Sunday morning. She loved for me to sing to her and most of the day on Friday I was practicing my song for the wedding and she lay on the couch watching me sing as she always did. We left the house on Saturday for the wedding around 3:00 but my partner's dad and his wife were at our home with Bailey until about 7:00 pm and we returned home around 11 pm. When we arrived home Bailey was sitting in the chair just inside our front door (not the usual place she stays while we are gone; she is usually on the edge of the couch arm peeking around the corner at us). It was late and my partner fed Bailey and brought her to bed. She did not take a walk that night. When in bed she acted as normal and slept snuggly in between us. We woke up early and I still dreaded leaving her. She had needed to get up two times between 12:00 and 4:30 to go outside to potty. When I got up with her at 4:30 I stayed up and we sat on the couch. She had some chills so I covered her with her blankie and we sat together for about an hour. Sometimes from time to time she would have chills but the doctor had said that was probably because of her age and the kidney/thyroid issues she had. As I finished packing, I took Bailey upstairs to sit on the bed. She just seemed to sit there and watch and didn't want to lie down as she usually did. Finally, I kind of gently pushed her body so that she could lie down and rest while we were finishing up our packing. Her chills seemed to subside a bit. About an hour later it was time to leave for Florida. My partner and I lifted Bailey off the ground and gave her big kisses on each side of her fuzzy face. She didn't walk us to the door that morning which was odd. She just stood on the living room step and watched us leave. My partner was convinced that Bailey was pouting because she knew that packed bags meant we were all going on a trip and she wasn't getting to go this time.
Bailey's aunties who would be staying with her and our cats for the week arrived around 12:30 or so. They said when they came in the house she seemed a bit odd and just stood and stared at them. As they approached her she tinkled on the floor which was not Baily at all. They quickly noticed spots of diarhea on the floor which was not her at all. We had arrived in Florida already so they called. My partner said her dad had fed her some ham the day before and it was probably just an upset stomach which she did have from time to time so it seemed to make sense. I kept saying I didn't think she felt well and they should take her to her doctor but everyone else seemed to believe her tummy was upset. Sure enough they called back in about an hour and said Bailey was resting with one of them and taking a nap on the couch. She slept for an hour or so and they went to get her some chicken. They called back and said she had eaten a little chicken and had even been outside to potty and her bm seemed a bit more solid. All good signs of improvement ... or so we thought. They called back one more time and said Bailey was taking another nap and was resting. We went to dinner thinking Bailey was better. About 10:00 Sunday night they called again and said Bailey was having some type of convulsion/seizure and was yelping. As quickly as possible, they took her to the animal emergency room where they began testing for poisoning and other things. They determined that her glucose level had dropped to 4!! They began her on fluids and glucose. It was one very long night as our baby was here and we were in Floriday, even though she was two of her aunties who couldn't have taken better care of her. They stayed with her all night at the animal hospital. The next morning at 8 they transported her to her regular doctor. They did an ultrasound and found that the worst case scenario had ocurred! The kidney stone had slipped into and lodged. They quickly sent us back to Cincinnati to the emergency specialty hospital. The glucose wasn't stabilizing and she had to have her iv all the way on the hour and a half drive. They also had sugar water to give her. She had had one other seizure in the night at the emergency hospital.
At this point my partner had planned a flight into Cincinnati but couldn't get there until Monday evening around 8:15. Another of our friends made the trip with Baily as well so she had three ofher loving aunties with her until my partner arrived. The doctor confirmed that the kidney stone was in the tract of the good kidney and she had already lost 75% of her kidney functioning. Infection had also ocurred and had affected the pancreas in some way (it is all running together right now). They said Baily was in pain and didn't feel her quality of life would ever be good even if she could make it through the surgery. The worst time of our lives had arrived. When my partner finally got to our baby girl, Bailey, she was heavily sedated to help ease her pain. She spoke to the internalist, surgeon and had them call her regular doctor back at home. They all agreed Bailey's quality of life would not be good. By 11:30 Monday evening my partner held our baby girl close in her arms and gave her love and kisses as she apologized for not being able to save her and keep her safe this time. She said Bailey gave her a very weak glimpse with her brown eyes and she knew then it was her sign that Bailey was tired and was ready to go. She was held and loved until the very end and then about 30 minutes afterwards.
I am not a good bearer of pain and Bailey knew that. She knew I got very upset when she was not feeling well. We had always talked about whether I would be able to be with her during her final hours and how I would feel guilty if I wasn't. If I had been home when Bailey had her seizure I would have absolutely freaked out of control just because I get so stressed in those situations. I want to believe that Bailey had a plan to protect me but it is just so hard. I feel guilty for leaving her that morning because I felt like she didn't feel good but we just thought we was pouting. I wonder if she was asking us to please stay with her. I wonder what she must have been thinking about us just walking out on her when she didn't feel well. I understand that I will never know and I can't keep saying "what if" but I'm just searching for some comfort and peace.
Life is already not the same. The hardest part is all of the "no mores." Everywhere I look I see our memories and what we did together. It is so very hard. I would appreciate any words of comfort or insight that you might have.
Baby Girl Bailey's Grieving Mom!
Am so sorry for the loss of your baby Baily, I too lost my soon 7 says ago today and I know exactly the pain you are feeling right now, we have lost them but the Heaven gain two more Angels, please let us know if you need our help the help I need it a few days ago and here I found it, God Bless you, your partner and Baily for ever, hugs Jorge
This was very tragic. Please accept my deepest condolences. Like Jorge, my Partner and I lost our prescious Candy a week ago today. She's been fighting cancer and it was a difficult decision to deal with her taking a sudden illness and Chuck my partner was still at work when I had to put to sleep. But I'm glad she is at peace. Chuck is still having a tough time of it, but is slowly healing and you will too.
Please feel free to vent here. This place has been a tremondous help while I'm going through this period of mourning.
My best to you and your partner. You both sound like wonderful parents.
God bless.
Please feel free to vent here. This place has been a tremondous help while I'm going through this period of mourning.
My best to you and your partner. You both sound like wonderful parents.
God bless.
The words of comfort would be that you and your partner truly looked after Bailey in the best way. She had her 2 aunties 24/7 and then a third one. I know you wonder about being with her but you could not know what was going to happen. I believe you had the right instinct about saying to take her to the vet but with everything she had happen in her 11 years...maybe others thought you were being overprotective. I think you knew her best. But I also think that even if she had been taken to see the vet, with what you said the problem was..I don't think the final outcome would have changed. Even if you had not walked out that door but had stayed..again I don't think the ending would have changed so don't blame yourself for something that would not have changed anything.
I find what helps me to not wonder is I believe that when it is their time to leave us, there is nothing we can do to stop it..we can't change the outcome. Control is taken from us when it is time to go. All we can do is hope we can help them find peace. If it is not their time, then a vet would have the answer to change the outcome, or we would be able to find out how to help them and really be able to help them.
You helped Bailey a lot in her 11 years. It was not her time to go when she had those surgeries and so because of your vigilance...she was able to be with you longer.
If we could save these babies...we would...and they would all still be with us. But when saving them is taken from us...so are they. We can only feel blessed for whatever time we were allowed to have them in our lives.
I am sure you miss Bailey tremendously. You listed so many things she did that were a part of your everyday living. Why they are taken from us is something we will never know.
But from your story...rest assured you and your partner and your wonderful friends did everything you could for your sweet baby girl.
Whatever happened was meant to happen that way. That is why questions about..should I have left to go on the trip, etc....are moot. Sometimes I think we ask questions because deep down inside we really always feel we could have, should have..done more. But if we accept the fact that if we were allowed to "could have" we would have. But when fate decides to control what happens.....we have no power to combat that. As long as we can feel and remind ourselves that we truly did always do the best we could for our babies....there should be no other questions.
(We did the best we were ALLOWED to do). There can be no guilt associated with that.
I am so sorry about what happened to Bailey but was glad to read all the help she got and the fact that that vet was so honest about her quality of life..trying to help you and your partner make the right decision for Bailey...which you did.
With my last baby, Little Guy, I had him for over 16 years of healthy, happy times and it was only the last few weeks there was constant worry and something was very wrong. But as painful as his leaving was....I would push the end time to the bottom of my mind and only think about the many years there was health and happiness in our home...and so I would do it all again..open my home and heart to the 3 feral kitties born in my backyard...soon after I lost my sweet Shepherd, Lady, whose spinal cord was failing her. She was about 12 when it was her time...it was truly a quality of life issue.
So, you see, we learn we have to concentrate on the good, happy and healthy memories. That is what helps us work through the grief and pain, especially when the loss is so very recent.
I hope through reading other posts here and replies to your post, you find what you are looking for somewhere in the words and stories that show how so many find their way to cope with this devastating sadness and loss.
Hugs to you and your partner....everyone can always use a hug
I find what helps me to not wonder is I believe that when it is their time to leave us, there is nothing we can do to stop it..we can't change the outcome. Control is taken from us when it is time to go. All we can do is hope we can help them find peace. If it is not their time, then a vet would have the answer to change the outcome, or we would be able to find out how to help them and really be able to help them.
You helped Bailey a lot in her 11 years. It was not her time to go when she had those surgeries and so because of your vigilance...she was able to be with you longer.
If we could save these babies...we would...and they would all still be with us. But when saving them is taken from us...so are they. We can only feel blessed for whatever time we were allowed to have them in our lives.
I am sure you miss Bailey tremendously. You listed so many things she did that were a part of your everyday living. Why they are taken from us is something we will never know.
But from your story...rest assured you and your partner and your wonderful friends did everything you could for your sweet baby girl.
Whatever happened was meant to happen that way. That is why questions about..should I have left to go on the trip, etc....are moot. Sometimes I think we ask questions because deep down inside we really always feel we could have, should have..done more. But if we accept the fact that if we were allowed to "could have" we would have. But when fate decides to control what happens.....we have no power to combat that. As long as we can feel and remind ourselves that we truly did always do the best we could for our babies....there should be no other questions.
(We did the best we were ALLOWED to do). There can be no guilt associated with that.
I am so sorry about what happened to Bailey but was glad to read all the help she got and the fact that that vet was so honest about her quality of life..trying to help you and your partner make the right decision for Bailey...which you did.
With my last baby, Little Guy, I had him for over 16 years of healthy, happy times and it was only the last few weeks there was constant worry and something was very wrong. But as painful as his leaving was....I would push the end time to the bottom of my mind and only think about the many years there was health and happiness in our home...and so I would do it all again..open my home and heart to the 3 feral kitties born in my backyard...soon after I lost my sweet Shepherd, Lady, whose spinal cord was failing her. She was about 12 when it was her time...it was truly a quality of life issue.
So, you see, we learn we have to concentrate on the good, happy and healthy memories. That is what helps us work through the grief and pain, especially when the loss is so very recent.
I hope through reading other posts here and replies to your post, you find what you are looking for somewhere in the words and stories that show how so many find their way to cope with this devastating sadness and loss.
Hugs to you and your partner....everyone can always use a hug
My deepest condolences on the loss of you little love, Bailey.
She was a lucky dog to have people so devoted - (would that every animal companion did)!
please know, she did have a plan - you were with her in spirit;
you were a part of her spirit - and your (her) partner helped her along - no worries.
She gave you permission, and you her; and someone was holding her close.
(I have a very old doggie, I know how precious the dog days are)
When my old guy Milo died, it was my husband who actually took him to the vet's office. We gave him a sedative at home, hugged and loved him up and then he fell asleep on his bed. Steven carried him out to the car.
I couldn't go with him. It wasn't necessarily planned or premeditated, it's just what was for us. Like with you and Bailey. Milo and I are okay with that.
Peace friend, don't fret too long, and watch for her sweet little spirit, she'll help you.
Zoo
QUOTE (lfowler @ Jun 27 2008, 12:35 PM)
Life is already not the same. The hardest part is all of the "no mores." Everywhere I look I see our memories and what we did together. It is so very hard.
Yet again my heart cries for another who has lost a precious furbaby. The grief and pain of sadness is unbearable. All of us here know only too well what you are going through right now. I wish there was a way for you get around all the agonizing grief because I know it is the deepest kind of pain there is. The bond you made with Bailey 11 years ago was sealed forever never to be broken. Your memories are the gift she left you when she passed on.
Your life was different before Bailey came into your world.........and changed again when she became such a big part of your life. When Bailey passed away your life changed yet again. All through our lives there is constant change and much is yet to be in your days to come.
Physical wounds are easy to fix; but putting the pieces of a broken heart back together again is much more difficult. All those you have loved that have gone before you brought something good into your life to remember and cherish. The memories you and Bailey made together are forever yours and can never be taken away. Though her body has persihed, her spirit lives on and is all around you and in you. Over time you will feel the warmth of her sunshine that lies in your heart because it is there that Bailey is still alive and well.
May you be blessed with comfort, love, and have faith that one day you and Bailey will say hello again. The "no mores" with Bailey on earth will be "forever more" in Heaven where your Bailey soars amongst the angels.
Much love from my heart to you as well as your partner,
Beth
Click to view attachment
This is the first Saturday/weekend without having my precious baby girl, Bailey here with me. I miss her not being here to wake up early with, have coffee with, watch television with, lie in the sun so happily and looking up at me, lying in my lap and sleeping peacefully, taking an afternoon nap with me, and on and on and on and on.
As I know most of you know, life is just so different now. The house feels so very large and lonely. I absolutely loved for the weekends to get here so Bailey and I had a lot of time to hang out and do nothing together. She loved it too! We were two peas in a pod. I liked what she liked and she liked what I liked!
My two cats are being very loving and trying very hard to help soften my pain and for that I'm very thankful but life just isn't the same on this first saturday alone without my baby girl, Bai Bai.
For all of you feeling my same pain today, I send you a big hug.
Thank you so much for your many words of comfort!!!
Bailey's Mom Forever!
This is the first Saturday/weekend without having my precious baby girl, Bailey here with me. I miss her not being here to wake up early with, have coffee with, watch television with, lie in the sun so happily and looking up at me, lying in my lap and sleeping peacefully, taking an afternoon nap with me, and on and on and on and on.
As I know most of you know, life is just so different now. The house feels so very large and lonely. I absolutely loved for the weekends to get here so Bailey and I had a lot of time to hang out and do nothing together. She loved it too! We were two peas in a pod. I liked what she liked and she liked what I liked!
My two cats are being very loving and trying very hard to help soften my pain and for that I'm very thankful but life just isn't the same on this first saturday alone without my baby girl, Bai Bai.
For all of you feeling my same pain today, I send you a big hug.
Thank you so much for your many words of comfort!!!
Bailey's Mom Forever!
What a beautiful picture. Thank you for posting it. Pictures just mean so much.
you said: This is the first Saturday/weekend without having my precious baby girl, Bailey here with me.
We here so many times talk about the "firsts". My boy was here last year at this time. He left in September and I had my "firsts" with the Holidays...the first time he was not here. There are still many here in their first year...so yes, we completely understand your words of "first Saturday/weekend" and what that means and what that feels like. It always makes me feel like crying.
I am glad you have your two kitties so there are furbabies in your home. I adopted a kitty the day after Christmas because I could not take the complete emptiness of not having one of these sweethearts around...demanding attention....and just wanting to be with us wherever we are.
I, too have had dogs and cats in my lifetime and still love and adore every one of them...even though they are not physically with me anymore. But they must all be together in Heaven because it wouldn't be called that...if they were not there. And a true Heaven will have us all together someday.
Hugs Hugs and more Hugs
Keep posting...it will help you... write a note to Bailey....and/or tell us some stories about her that make you smile. I can see looking at the picture you just posted...that is the kind of picture that one cannot help but smile looking at it.
Thank you for that. We all can use smiles.
you said: This is the first Saturday/weekend without having my precious baby girl, Bailey here with me.
We here so many times talk about the "firsts". My boy was here last year at this time. He left in September and I had my "firsts" with the Holidays...the first time he was not here. There are still many here in their first year...so yes, we completely understand your words of "first Saturday/weekend" and what that means and what that feels like. It always makes me feel like crying.
I am glad you have your two kitties so there are furbabies in your home. I adopted a kitty the day after Christmas because I could not take the complete emptiness of not having one of these sweethearts around...demanding attention....and just wanting to be with us wherever we are.
I, too have had dogs and cats in my lifetime and still love and adore every one of them...even though they are not physically with me anymore. But they must all be together in Heaven because it wouldn't be called that...if they were not there. And a true Heaven will have us all together someday.
Hugs Hugs and more Hugs
Keep posting...it will help you... write a note to Bailey....and/or tell us some stories about her that make you smile. I can see looking at the picture you just posted...that is the kind of picture that one cannot help but smile looking at it.
Thank you for that. We all can use smiles.
LFowler
How precious Bailey looks in the picture ...and I can see the love and happiness in both of your eyes. This is my third weekend without my lil' Zoe. It is hard ... the weekends were the times that we were able to just enjoy each others company, with just playing and relaxing ...even if it was sitting around doing nothing ...it was wonderful. I feel your pain. With the great support on this site, I am able to go on another day ...they have all told me it will be better in time, but it 's a slow healing process. I think about my baby all day long ....I smile, then I cry, then I smile again. It is an extreme emotional roller coaster. Like you said it's the "no mores" that the hardest. Just take it day by day .... Bailey is always with you ~ she's now in you heart.
You've got all kinds of support here.
Much Love and Hugs
Deanna
How precious Bailey looks in the picture ...and I can see the love and happiness in both of your eyes. This is my third weekend without my lil' Zoe. It is hard ... the weekends were the times that we were able to just enjoy each others company, with just playing and relaxing ...even if it was sitting around doing nothing ...it was wonderful. I feel your pain. With the great support on this site, I am able to go on another day ...they have all told me it will be better in time, but it 's a slow healing process. I think about my baby all day long ....I smile, then I cry, then I smile again. It is an extreme emotional roller coaster. Like you said it's the "no mores" that the hardest. Just take it day by day .... Bailey is always with you ~ she's now in you heart.
You've got all kinds of support here.
Much Love and Hugs
Deanna
Thank you all so very much for your words of comfort and sincere kindness and understanding as I am reaching out for the exact things you all are offering me. I never knew such a site existed until I frantically searched for something to offer a hint of comfort and peace; I feel very blessed to have found such a community of empathetic friends here.
In time, I truly hope to be able to pay forward my precious gift of understanding and hope that I have been given on this site by you all!
For some reason yesterday seemed to be the worst so far (Bailey left this earth on Monday evening, June 23rd, at 11:35 pm) even though it was day 5. The most frustrating part is that some people think the signs of grief and mourning should be easing up tremendously by day 5.
Today makes one week since I last saw my baby girl, Bailey, since we left last Sunday morning on what we htought would be a week of vacation and relaxation even though I dreaded being away from Bai Bai. I had already counted down how many days I would be away from her before returning home from vacation but sadly, I miscounted those days.
My partner and I shopped yesterday in hopes of finding a very unique piece of furniture to put in the location of Bailey's kennel (which she really didn't use much anymore because we decided a year or so ago to see what she would do if we just let her stay out when we were gone and she proved to be a very big girl!). We didn't find the perfect piece (which I will know when I see it) yesterday but I did feel like Bailey's was with me helping me find something that she and I would have both loved. We want it to be something we can put her toys, clothing, leash, etc. inside of and have her pictures, urn and a special candle on top.
I haven't written my letter to Bailey yet but I do plan to do it. I started it on the plane as I was coming back home on Tuesday (after Sonja had been with her during her final hours on Monday evening) but I chose to save it for a bit later.
My partner and I had been looking for a new house in hopes of having a first floor master so Bailey wouldn't have to be carried up and down the stairs each time and could just be around us on one level. We had found something about two weeks ago but had not carried Bailey to see it yet. Sonja still wants to proceed with considering the purchase of the home and although a part of me likes to believe maybe that too was part of the plan, a part of me feels guilty about even considering leaving the home we shared with Bailey. I did agree to go look at it again today and just see what kind of vibes I get when we go inside of it. I'll keep you posted on this situation.
Thank you again for being here for me.
Hugs to each one of you today,
Bailey's Mom, Lisa
In time, I truly hope to be able to pay forward my precious gift of understanding and hope that I have been given on this site by you all!
For some reason yesterday seemed to be the worst so far (Bailey left this earth on Monday evening, June 23rd, at 11:35 pm) even though it was day 5. The most frustrating part is that some people think the signs of grief and mourning should be easing up tremendously by day 5.
Today makes one week since I last saw my baby girl, Bailey, since we left last Sunday morning on what we htought would be a week of vacation and relaxation even though I dreaded being away from Bai Bai. I had already counted down how many days I would be away from her before returning home from vacation but sadly, I miscounted those days.
My partner and I shopped yesterday in hopes of finding a very unique piece of furniture to put in the location of Bailey's kennel (which she really didn't use much anymore because we decided a year or so ago to see what she would do if we just let her stay out when we were gone and she proved to be a very big girl!). We didn't find the perfect piece (which I will know when I see it) yesterday but I did feel like Bailey's was with me helping me find something that she and I would have both loved. We want it to be something we can put her toys, clothing, leash, etc. inside of and have her pictures, urn and a special candle on top.
I haven't written my letter to Bailey yet but I do plan to do it. I started it on the plane as I was coming back home on Tuesday (after Sonja had been with her during her final hours on Monday evening) but I chose to save it for a bit later.
My partner and I had been looking for a new house in hopes of having a first floor master so Bailey wouldn't have to be carried up and down the stairs each time and could just be around us on one level. We had found something about two weeks ago but had not carried Bailey to see it yet. Sonja still wants to proceed with considering the purchase of the home and although a part of me likes to believe maybe that too was part of the plan, a part of me feels guilty about even considering leaving the home we shared with Bailey. I did agree to go look at it again today and just see what kind of vibes I get when we go inside of it. I'll keep you posted on this situation.
Thank you again for being here for me.
Hugs to each one of you today,
Bailey's Mom, Lisa
Lisa, I would like to offer my sympathy to you and Sonja in the loss or your precious Bailey. In reading your posts I can feel the love you felt for Bailey. She was so lucky to have had such a wonderful life with you.
You mentioned that others feel your grief should be easing up by now. I believe that grief is a process and is filled with ups and downs. Each one of us went through the pain of grief when we lost our babies. We lost our babies by accidents or illness. Some of our pets were young and others old. People handle their grief in different ways. Please just ignore the people that don't understand that grief takes time. You were very fortunate to have Bailey in your lives. Cherish the memories and the photos that you have. Know that she is always with you in spirit and has a special place in your heart.
I lost my lab Lizzy to cancer this past Oct. Like you with Bailey Liz and I were always together. She brought so much happiness and laughter into my life. In every picture I have of her she is smiling. She fought hard to stay with me despite the cancer. When the cancer spread and she grew weak I had to say goodbye. I have tears in my eyes now just thinking of that moment. I felt cheated that she got cancer (inoperable) at 9 1/2 yrs old. I was shocked when I found the lump as she still played and acted like a puppy. But then I reminded myself that she had a great life and was treated like the queen that she was. I loved calling her Queen Elizabeth. I will always have the happy memories to get me through the pain of losing her. My other lab Elly was lost without her pal. So I searched for a lab puppy that needed a loving home. Mandy came along in Jan and has brought so much joy into my life again. She and Elly are best friends and I love to watch them play. They play in Lizzy's pool, and I recently gave them some of her favorite balls to fetch.
I still miss Lizzy and always will. But I am so thankful for having had her in my life.
I wish you peace during your grieving.
You mentioned that others feel your grief should be easing up by now. I believe that grief is a process and is filled with ups and downs. Each one of us went through the pain of grief when we lost our babies. We lost our babies by accidents or illness. Some of our pets were young and others old. People handle their grief in different ways. Please just ignore the people that don't understand that grief takes time. You were very fortunate to have Bailey in your lives. Cherish the memories and the photos that you have. Know that she is always with you in spirit and has a special place in your heart.
I lost my lab Lizzy to cancer this past Oct. Like you with Bailey Liz and I were always together. She brought so much happiness and laughter into my life. In every picture I have of her she is smiling. She fought hard to stay with me despite the cancer. When the cancer spread and she grew weak I had to say goodbye. I have tears in my eyes now just thinking of that moment. I felt cheated that she got cancer (inoperable) at 9 1/2 yrs old. I was shocked when I found the lump as she still played and acted like a puppy. But then I reminded myself that she had a great life and was treated like the queen that she was. I loved calling her Queen Elizabeth. I will always have the happy memories to get me through the pain of losing her. My other lab Elly was lost without her pal. So I searched for a lab puppy that needed a loving home. Mandy came along in Jan and has brought so much joy into my life again. She and Elly are best friends and I love to watch them play. They play in Lizzy's pool, and I recently gave them some of her favorite balls to fetch.
I still miss Lizzy and always will. But I am so thankful for having had her in my life.
I wish you peace during your grieving.
QUOTE (lfowler @ Jun 28 2008, 12:25 PM)
Click to view attachment
This is the first Saturday/weekend without having my precious baby girl, Bailey here with me. I miss her not being here to wake up early with, have coffee with, watch television with, lie in the sun so happily and looking up at me, lying in my lap and sleeping peacefully, taking an afternoon nap with me, and on and on and on and on.
As I know most of you know, life is just so different now. The house feels so very large and lonely. I absolutely loved for the weekends to get here so Bailey and I had a lot of time to hang out and do nothing together. She loved it too! We were two peas in a pod. I liked what she liked and she liked what I liked!
My two cats are being very loving and trying very hard to help soften my pain and for that I'm very thankful but life just isn't the same on this first saturday alone without my baby girl, Bai Bai.
For all of you feeling my same pain today, I send you a big hug.
Thank you so much for your many words of comfort!!!
Bailey's Mom Forever!
This is the first Saturday/weekend without having my precious baby girl, Bailey here with me. I miss her not being here to wake up early with, have coffee with, watch television with, lie in the sun so happily and looking up at me, lying in my lap and sleeping peacefully, taking an afternoon nap with me, and on and on and on and on.
As I know most of you know, life is just so different now. The house feels so very large and lonely. I absolutely loved for the weekends to get here so Bailey and I had a lot of time to hang out and do nothing together. She loved it too! We were two peas in a pod. I liked what she liked and she liked what I liked!
My two cats are being very loving and trying very hard to help soften my pain and for that I'm very thankful but life just isn't the same on this first saturday alone without my baby girl, Bai Bai.
For all of you feeling my same pain today, I send you a big hug.
Thank you so much for your many words of comfort!!!
Bailey's Mom Forever!
What a great picture. This was my first weekend without Candy and I notice it especially when I was watching TV. She always lays right next to me on her back so I can rub her belly. It feels very empty around the house.
I'm glad you have two kittys to help you through your pain. The fact that Chuck doesn't want anymore pets for awhile kinda tears at my heart as I would adopt another baby right now. But I understand that he needs more time. I just know if I had another pet, my heart would ache just a bit less.
Big hugs to you and your partner. You will get through this.
Candy's Dad
Hal
Dear Bailey's Mom,
My heart goes out to you and your partner at this terribly difficult time. I know your pain as my partner and I lost my Fleetwood in February while on vacation in San Francisco. While he seemed healthy and we had never had any problems with him, I still very guilty that I was not there to help him when he needed it. But just know the pain does get better. Just always remember that Bailey is always with you even thought you might not see her, she lives in your heart. While I miss my Fleetwood each and every day, I know he is sitting on a ledge some where watching the birds build their nests.
Don't beat yourself up for not being there, what important is that you were there to give her a great life and a loving home. For that her tail will always be wagging.
Mark
Missing Fleetwood
My heart goes out to you and your partner at this terribly difficult time. I know your pain as my partner and I lost my Fleetwood in February while on vacation in San Francisco. While he seemed healthy and we had never had any problems with him, I still very guilty that I was not there to help him when he needed it. But just know the pain does get better. Just always remember that Bailey is always with you even thought you might not see her, she lives in your heart. While I miss my Fleetwood each and every day, I know he is sitting on a ledge some where watching the birds build their nests.
Don't beat yourself up for not being there, what important is that you were there to give her a great life and a loving home. For that her tail will always be wagging.
Mark
Missing Fleetwood
" ... you were there to give her a great life and a loving home. For that her tail will always be wagging."
It actually brought a smile to my face to think about my precious Bailey watching over me and wagging her tail in her new life filled with perfect health, no allergies, no daily medicines two times per day, no special diet (we cheated on this one a bit because of those big brown eyes!), etc.
Tonight at 11:35 pm will make one week since our Bailey began her new life. I am hoping each new day will bring a new sense of peace now that we aren't saying "this time last week .....".
It is brings such a feeling of comfort to see messages posted each day, both mine and others. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! for all of your thoughts during this difficult journey in my life.
Hugs,
Lisa
It actually brought a smile to my face to think about my precious Bailey watching over me and wagging her tail in her new life filled with perfect health, no allergies, no daily medicines two times per day, no special diet (we cheated on this one a bit because of those big brown eyes!), etc.
Tonight at 11:35 pm will make one week since our Bailey began her new life. I am hoping each new day will bring a new sense of peace now that we aren't saying "this time last week .....".
It is brings such a feeling of comfort to see messages posted each day, both mine and others. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! for all of your thoughts during this difficult journey in my life.
Hugs,
Lisa
QUOTE (lfowler @ Jun 30 2008, 07:05 PM)
It actually brought a smile to my face to think about my precious Bailey watching over me and wagging her tail in her new life filled with perfect health, no allergies, no daily medicines two times per day, no special diet (we cheated on this one a bit because of those big brown eyes!), etc.
Lisa,
I'm so glad you find comfort in coming and sharing here at LS. Through the exchanges we make with each other our pain is eased just a little bit more. Slowly but surely the dreadful fog lifts and the sunshine comes in to brighten our days.
I loved how you described the way you feel when you think about Bailey being well and watching over you. These kinds of postive thoughts bring a new kind of peace that helps mend our broken hearts.
As you continue your journey of healing, may you be showered in the happy memories you and Bailey made together. It is here that we all walk together in hopes of returning to a happy and healthy kind of life.
Much love to you and your partner, may Bailey's tail wag in your hearts forever!
Beth
I really like what you said about "perfect health" and Bailey.
Makes me think:
Perfect health for a perfect angel.
Fits, doesn't it?
Makes me think:
Perfect health for a perfect angel.
Fits, doesn't it?
Earlier in a post you said:
My partner and I shopped yesterday in hopes of finding a very unique piece of furniture to put in the location of Bailey's kennel (which she really didn't use much anymore because we decided a year or so ago to see what she would do if we just let her stay out when we were gone and she proved to be a very big girl!). We didn't find the perfect piece (which I will know when I see it) yesterday but I did feel like Bailey's was with me helping me find something that she and I would have both loved. We want it to be something we can put her toys, clothing, leash, etc. inside of and have her pictures, urn and a special candle on top.
--------------------------
It kind of reminded me of what I did after I lost my Little Guy. I have a wicker chest that would hold everything you talked about. It was his favorite place to be. I am attaching a picture of him there and then another picture in the next post of what I did as a tribute to him which helped not looking at an empty spot where he should always be.
Here is his favorite way to look out the window and the little box next to it, he napped a lot...
Click to view attachment
My partner and I shopped yesterday in hopes of finding a very unique piece of furniture to put in the location of Bailey's kennel (which she really didn't use much anymore because we decided a year or so ago to see what she would do if we just let her stay out when we were gone and she proved to be a very big girl!). We didn't find the perfect piece (which I will know when I see it) yesterday but I did feel like Bailey's was with me helping me find something that she and I would have both loved. We want it to be something we can put her toys, clothing, leash, etc. inside of and have her pictures, urn and a special candle on top.
--------------------------
It kind of reminded me of what I did after I lost my Little Guy. I have a wicker chest that would hold everything you talked about. It was his favorite place to be. I am attaching a picture of him there and then another picture in the next post of what I did as a tribute to him which helped not looking at an empty spot where he should always be.
Here is his favorite way to look out the window and the little box next to it, he napped a lot...
Click to view attachment
Here is my Tribute to him and his favorite places to be. Maybe this will help give you some ideas about Bailey's toys, etc. and a special place for her to be.
Click to view attachment
Click to view attachment
Love Them -
Thanks so much for sharing how you created your tribute to your Little Guy! I love it! Just looking at the wicker chest I could see that for me the flowers would serve as a beautiful reminder of Little Guy sitting and watching yummy looking birds flutter across the sky or just taking an afternoon nap with the sun glistening across his beautiful coat.
As I think I mentioned earlier, Bailey had become a big girl and we didn't even put her in her "ken ken" anymore, but we never removed it from it's spot in our family room and always kept the door cracked so that she was free to go in if she desired. I had wondered if she possibly went in her former safe zone when she had her seizure while we were away but our pet sitters/friends said that when they arrived that morning to begin staying with her (after we had been gone for about 5 hours) she went over to her basket of toys and crawled inside (or tried because it wasn't a very big basket) which they found odd. She never tried to get in that basket but I guess that was what she choose in her approach to find comfort, help or just give a sign that something wasn't right with her.
Anyway, I got off on another therapy session when all I really wanted to do was say thank you for sharing your tribute to Little Guy. I haven't found THE table yet but I know I will know it when I see it. For now, I keep her urn of ashes sitting on the coffee table and make sure to carry her upstairs with us at bedtime.
Sending you each a smile, hug and warm wishes for happy memories today!
Lisa
Thanks so much for sharing how you created your tribute to your Little Guy! I love it! Just looking at the wicker chest I could see that for me the flowers would serve as a beautiful reminder of Little Guy sitting and watching yummy looking birds flutter across the sky or just taking an afternoon nap with the sun glistening across his beautiful coat.
As I think I mentioned earlier, Bailey had become a big girl and we didn't even put her in her "ken ken" anymore, but we never removed it from it's spot in our family room and always kept the door cracked so that she was free to go in if she desired. I had wondered if she possibly went in her former safe zone when she had her seizure while we were away but our pet sitters/friends said that when they arrived that morning to begin staying with her (after we had been gone for about 5 hours) she went over to her basket of toys and crawled inside (or tried because it wasn't a very big basket) which they found odd. She never tried to get in that basket but I guess that was what she choose in her approach to find comfort, help or just give a sign that something wasn't right with her.
Anyway, I got off on another therapy session
when all I really wanted to do was say thank you for sharing your tribute to Little Guy. I haven't found THE table yet but I know I will know it when I see it. For now, I keep her urn of ashes sitting on the coffee table and make sure to carry her upstairs with us at bedtime. Sending you each a smile, hug and warm wishes for happy memories today!
Lisa
QUOTE (lfowler @ Jun 30 2008, 06:05 PM)
I am hoping each new day will bring a new sense of peace now that we aren't saying "this time last week .....".
It will Lisa. I'm starting to focus more on the happy memories that Candy has brought us an not the difficult last few months. I know it will happen for you as well. And please share more stories about Bailey. It brings a smile on my face to hear stories about such wonderful furbabies. Bailey looks like such a sweetheart. I know her spirit is following you wherever you go. I really believe that. When you posted it did make me feel better knowing that our babies are no longer suffering but playing, feeling alive and keeping watch over us.
Lisa
You are so right about picturing Little Guy watching out that window. That is him in the picture doing just what he loved to do all day and right outside that window is a tree just a few feet away and the little birds in the area sometimes sit on the thin branches and he would look out that window and watch them. The flowers are very pretty but not real (I don't have a green thumb) and so the ones on the wicker chest are roses, kind of a pale orange, in a basket with white baby breath..and on the box next to it (where Little Guy loved to nap when he wasn't on the bed...see my avatar... I see it is a little hard to see but what is holding a bunch of white carnations with a little pink in them is a beautiful ceramic white swan with some gold highlights.
I smiled when you said you took Bailey upstairs when it is time to go to sleep. That's JUST where she BELONGS!
Thanks for the beautiful wishes. Right back to both of you and also your angel, Bailey.....sending hugs and a smile and
wishes for peace and healing. She is a treasure and I know she approves of all you are doing....and maybe..she just might
wind up directing you to just the right store.. to see just the right piece of furniture.. that fits what you plan to do for her.
Judy
You are so right about picturing Little Guy watching out that window. That is him in the picture doing just what he loved to do all day and right outside that window is a tree just a few feet away and the little birds in the area sometimes sit on the thin branches and he would look out that window and watch them. The flowers are very pretty but not real (I don't have a green thumb) and so the ones on the wicker chest are roses, kind of a pale orange, in a basket with white baby breath..and on the box next to it (where Little Guy loved to nap when he wasn't on the bed...see my avatar... I see it is a little hard to see but what is holding a bunch of white carnations with a little pink in them is a beautiful ceramic white swan with some gold highlights.
I smiled when you said you took Bailey upstairs when it is time to go to sleep. That's JUST where she BELONGS!
Thanks for the beautiful wishes. Right back to both of you and also your angel, Bailey.....sending hugs and a smile and
wishes for peace and healing. She is a treasure and I know she approves of all you are doing....and maybe..she just might
wind up directing you to just the right store.. to see just the right piece of furniture.. that fits what you plan to do for her.
Judy
Dear Lisa,
No doubt you will recognize the perfect piece of furniture for Bailey when you see it. I can understand why it would be so special for you to want to make it perfect in every way just like Bailey was.
Though I couldn't bring myself to sleep in my bedroom for some time, I did keep Goliath's urn close to me as I slept in another room. When I started sleeping in my bed again, I brought him right along with me. It was then that it occurred to me that my bedroom was where we spent our most sweet and cuddling moments together. Goliath sits under a dim night light on a shelf in our TV cabinet. His collar and tag sits above his urn and a picture of his sister Gidget and another of my hubby and I sit beside him. There is an angel there with a candle that watches over all of us and keeps us safe.
About a month or so after Goliath passed away my hubby brought me a wonderful gift. He saw a gold mini urn heart locket with a gold chain and ordered it for me. Goliath's name is inscribed on the back with a pawprint on the front. My hubby filled it with love when he put some of Goliath's ashes in it..........so when I feel troubled or am thinking of him, I reach for his heart and hold it in my hand.
May the love you have for Bailey sustain you for the rest of your days til you say hello again and live peacefully forever after.
Hugs of comfort to both of you,
Beth
No doubt you will recognize the perfect piece of furniture for Bailey when you see it. I can understand why it would be so special for you to want to make it perfect in every way just like Bailey was.
Though I couldn't bring myself to sleep in my bedroom for some time, I did keep Goliath's urn close to me as I slept in another room. When I started sleeping in my bed again, I brought him right along with me. It was then that it occurred to me that my bedroom was where we spent our most sweet and cuddling moments together. Goliath sits under a dim night light on a shelf in our TV cabinet. His collar and tag sits above his urn and a picture of his sister Gidget and another of my hubby and I sit beside him. There is an angel there with a candle that watches over all of us and keeps us safe.
About a month or so after Goliath passed away my hubby brought me a wonderful gift. He saw a gold mini urn heart locket with a gold chain and ordered it for me. Goliath's name is inscribed on the back with a pawprint on the front. My hubby filled it with love when he put some of Goliath's ashes in it..........so when I feel troubled or am thinking of him, I reach for his heart and hold it in my hand.
May the love you have for Bailey sustain you for the rest of your days til you say hello again and live peacefully forever after.
Hugs of comfort to both of you,
Beth
About a month or so after Goliath passed away my hubby brought me a wonderful gift. He saw a gold mini urn heart locket with a gold chain and ordered it for me. Goliath's name is inscribed on the back with a pawprint on the front. My hubby filled it with love when he put some of Goliath's ashes in it..........so when I feel troubled or am thinking of him, I reach for his heart and hold it in my hand.
What a special gift from your husband, Beth!! A friend of ours has ordered us each a memory pendant that I cannot wait to receive. I'm sure many of you are familiar with this but it is just so important to me and my healing process. It feels so personable because the artist actually requests a picture and a brief story about your relationship with your pet. You choose three colors. She sends you a small vial to put some of your baby's ashes in and one for hair as well should you desire (of course we want both!). She uses the picture and description to inspire her artistic abilities while creating our special memory pendant of Bailey. She is also considerate enough to return any unused ashes! She has obviously shared all of our pain and loss at some point because she understands just how much the little things mean. We chose to have some of the ashes visible through our pendant. I know that was a lot of information but like I said, this is an extra special gift for us from our two friends who were actually babysitting Bailey when she unexpectedly became ill and gave her the same love we would have given her until my partner could make it back from Florida to be with our baby girl!
I may have said this on another post but this life changing experience with the loss of Bailey who was such a HUGE part of our lives, has truly taught me a lot about people in general, how they treat others, what they deem important in life, and just how very much one small gesture on our part can mean to someone else. I truly feel that I am a better person by having loved and been loved unconditionally by Bailey.
Sending a special ray of sunshine or rainbow glimpse your way today!
Bailey's Mom, Lisa
What a special gift from your husband, Beth!! A friend of ours has ordered us each a memory pendant that I cannot wait to receive. I'm sure many of you are familiar with this but it is just so important to me and my healing process. It feels so personable because the artist actually requests a picture and a brief story about your relationship with your pet. You choose three colors. She sends you a small vial to put some of your baby's ashes in and one for hair as well should you desire (of course we want both!). She uses the picture and description to inspire her artistic abilities while creating our special memory pendant of Bailey. She is also considerate enough to return any unused ashes! She has obviously shared all of our pain and loss at some point because she understands just how much the little things mean. We chose to have some of the ashes visible through our pendant. I know that was a lot of information but like I said, this is an extra special gift for us from our two friends who were actually babysitting Bailey when she unexpectedly became ill and gave her the same love we would have given her until my partner could make it back from Florida to be with our baby girl!
I may have said this on another post but this life changing experience with the loss of Bailey who was such a HUGE part of our lives, has truly taught me a lot about people in general, how they treat others, what they deem important in life, and just how very much one small gesture on our part can mean to someone else. I truly feel that I am a better person by having loved and been loved unconditionally by Bailey.
Sending a special ray of sunshine or rainbow glimpse your way today!
Bailey's Mom, Lisa
QUOTE (lfowler @ Jul 2 2008, 08:42 AM)
About a month or so after Goliath passed away my hubby brought me a wonderful gift. He saw a gold mini urn heart locket with a gold chain and ordered it for me. Goliath's name is inscribed on the back with a pawprint on the front. My hubby filled it with love when he put some of Goliath's ashes in it..........so when I feel troubled or am thinking of him, I reach for his heart and hold it in my hand.
What a special gift from your husband, Beth!! A friend of ours has ordered us each a memory pendant that I cannot wait to receive. I'm sure many of you are familiar with this but it is just so important to me and my healing process. It feels so personable because the artist actually requests a picture and a brief story about your relationship with your pet. You choose three colors. She sends you a small vial to put some of your baby's ashes in and one for hair as well should you desire (of course we want both!). She uses the picture and description to inspire her artistic abilities while creating our special memory pendant of Bailey. She is also considerate enough to return any unused ashes! She has obviously shared all of our pain and loss at some point because she understands just how much the little things mean. We chose to have some of the ashes visible through our pendant. I know that was a lot of information but like I said, this is an extra special gift for us from our two friends who were actually babysitting Bailey when she unexpectedly became ill and gave her the same love we would have given her until my partner could make it back from Florida to be with our baby girl!
I may have said this on another post but this life changing experience with the loss of Bailey who was such a HUGE part of our lives, has truly taught me a lot about people in general, how they treat others, what they deem important in life, and just how very much one small gesture on our part can mean to someone else. I truly feel that I am a better person by having loved and been loved unconditionally by Bailey.
Sending a special ray of sunshine or rainbow glimpse your way today!
Bailey's Mom, Lisa
What a special gift from your husband, Beth!! A friend of ours has ordered us each a memory pendant that I cannot wait to receive. I'm sure many of you are familiar with this but it is just so important to me and my healing process. It feels so personable because the artist actually requests a picture and a brief story about your relationship with your pet. You choose three colors. She sends you a small vial to put some of your baby's ashes in and one for hair as well should you desire (of course we want both!). She uses the picture and description to inspire her artistic abilities while creating our special memory pendant of Bailey. She is also considerate enough to return any unused ashes! She has obviously shared all of our pain and loss at some point because she understands just how much the little things mean. We chose to have some of the ashes visible through our pendant. I know that was a lot of information but like I said, this is an extra special gift for us from our two friends who were actually babysitting Bailey when she unexpectedly became ill and gave her the same love we would have given her until my partner could make it back from Florida to be with our baby girl!
I may have said this on another post but this life changing experience with the loss of Bailey who was such a HUGE part of our lives, has truly taught me a lot about people in general, how they treat others, what they deem important in life, and just how very much one small gesture on our part can mean to someone else. I truly feel that I am a better person by having loved and been loved unconditionally by Bailey.
Sending a special ray of sunshine or rainbow glimpse your way today!
Bailey's Mom, Lisa
Lisa,
It's good to hear from you.
You talk about this pendant that you are anxiously waiting for. It sounds beautiful. It does make a small difference in the healing process. I had one made, as well, however, my sweetheart was placed in my back yard, therefore, there were no ashes. However, I still had a pendant necklace made ... it's a eternity circle stating "Forever In My Heart" and in the middle, it has a little puppy paw dangling in the middle of it, then on the back, I had her name Zoe printed. I wear it all the time, I love it. I'm sure once you get your pendant, you will too.
I loved your statement of ..... "I truly feel that I am a better person by having loved and been loved unconditionally by Bailey." I feel the same way about my lil' girl, Zoe.
Thanks and take care.
Keep us posted on how you're doing.
Big Hug
Deanna
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