A week ago on tuesday, my husband and i bought the most beautiful, little grey female persian kitten-she was 8 weeks old tops. We have a male persian at home and male tabby, and although i always wanted a girl - never planned on getting one for a while, but once i saw her little face and picked her up - we just had to have her. It was like she was just meant to be our kitten and she was just perfect from the start, such a happy little girl - she didn't cry once on the way home and when we got her in the house she took to it straight away and became the little boss. I didn't expect to have a problem with her and the other cats, just the other way round - but the moment she saw either of them the first couple of days she would puff her tiny little body right up and stand on her tiptoes - she was so brave, we called her Sabra because it suited her gutsy personality!

I kept her in the kitchen at night time because I wanted her to get used to where the litter tray was kept, and because Bear (our 1 year old male persian) is quite touchy and naggy, bedtime is his time upstairs with us - he won't cuddle any other time and i didn't want him feeling completely overwhelmed and becoming detached. That was the only time she would cry, when she went to bed on her own and it was heartbreaking. I used to look forward to getting up in the morning and going down to see her because she was just so happy to see us - she would let out this little miaow and come running over for a cuddle the second you opened the door. The rest of the time she was so happy stealing the other cats food instead of her baby food, making us laugh and bouncing all over the place chasing her mice which she adored and our tabby cat Lynx. In that one week I taught her how to play fetch and found out she loved cheese! She had so much character and I loved her more than I would ever be capable of writing or saying. On tuesday night, I woke up to find her in the bedroom (my mum is visiting and must not have put her in the kitchen). It was so lovely to wake up to find her there and hear her little purr - Sabra was ALWAYS purring! And i put her on the washbasket on the opposite side of the room to where Bear was sleeping. But she came on the bed and cuddled for a bit, but I was so worried that my husband or I would squash her or that Bear would give us the cold shoulder for letting her be upstairs, that I took her back down to the kitchen with Lynx. I gave her some cat milk and went back up to bed. I thought I had closed the door from the kitchen properly, but didnt worry too much about it as I had closed the living room door that led upstairs, if they got into the living room from the kitchen i thought it wouldn't matter too much as that is where we had been leaving them when we went out in the day. I wish more than anything that i had made sure that kitchen door was closed because if I had then my little Sabra would still be here now, or if i had just let her stay upstairs - all she wanted was to be with us and she came all the way upstairs in the dark and I made her go back down - i will never ever forgive myself for what happened.

My mum woke me up at 6am wednesday morning saying there had been an accident - i stupidly said had Bear pooed in the hallway, but it was my Sabra. Our tabby Lynx, had been acting up all night - skitting around everywhere - usually that means he wants to go out, but he would not go out that night. He must have been doing it in the living room, and Sabra would follow him wherever she could get. Lynx knocked our large mirror off the fireplace and it fell and hit my poor tiny girl and killed her. My little girl is gone and i miss her so so much and i cannot stop crying or thinking of her. She was just a tiny baby and she deserved so much longer and more than that. She only got a week in her home, she should have had years and years of our love. I am lucky that she gave me so much in that one week and i wish i had shown her more how loved she was, i should never ever have taken her downstairs or i should have made sure the kitchen door clicked shut. I let her down. I just can't believe it happened still, why did she have to go in such an awful way. I don't know what to do without her, i don't feel like i'll ever be the same again, i can't stop thinking about what happened to her and i find it so hard to be in the living room. I've been told to just think of all the happy things, but that just makes me cry too because there should have been so much more than one weeks worth, she was just a tiny baby and its my fault she didn't get the long life she so deserved. The house is so empty now and all the life has gone out of it . I miss her so much and i just don't know what to do, i am completely and utterly heartbroken.

Hello, good morning to you and your family, am sorry to hear that you have lost your littel kitty, think that it was just a terrible accident and am sure that in such short time you gave her all the love in the world and made her feel as part of the group [sure she knew this] just be brave and think about her and smille and thank God for putting her in your way becouse he knew you were the one for her for at least a short week, again am terrible sorry and you can count on everyone here, on any of us becouse will be here for you at anytime. And remember all of us have lost or will loss ours kids Pets some day and will not be easy but please let us know if we can do anything for you, we are here always, Jorge.

I am so sorry to hear about the death of your sweet little Sabra. Because she was so young and vulnerable you tried to look out for her safety. Accidents happen though. It was especially difficult for you because you attempted to keep all 3 kitties happy. I'm sure everybody knows it takes time for a new family member to adjust to the newness just as it is for every other household resident. Sabra wasn't there long enough for this period of adjustment to complete.

Ma you find the comfort you need at this time. Sometime in the future your home will not feel empty. Little Sabra is back in God's hands where she will be well taken care of.

No matter how young or how old our furbabies are we love them very much. The grief we feel when they pass away is unbearable. Over time though it does get a little bit easier. Coming here has eased my pain immensly. Fixing a broken heart takes time. Give yourself time with patience and forgive yourself for what you did not know.

Much love to you and your family.

I am so very sorry about your little girl. That was truly an accident that could not have been foreseen.

Such a short time to have one of these angels....that's a part of life I never will understand.

Crying is all you can do right now...it is so soon and it is so tragic. I hope you realize we cannot anticipate everything that might happen to these precious ones. We try to make our homes kitten-proof, as is done on baby-proofing but we just cannot think of everything.

Writing here should help you let more of your grief out. So continue and post whenever you feel the need to. The majority of people are here because of a loss...that happened...or they can anticipate and we all share the same pain and grieving.

Yes, we need the happy memories to help the healing process but it is doubly tragic when the time together was so short. You do have a beautiful picture of her and you do have the other kitties to love and hug....that will help.

She is now an angel..why her time had to be short...is one of the mysteries I don't think we will ever know the answer for. It is just one of the cruel twists of life that suddenly appear now and then in one's life.

I am sending you hugs and tears right now. It is a heartbreaking story but again remember it could not have been foreseen.

thank you for your replies. It has been nearly 2 weeks now and I still feel the same, I didn't expect any different. I know I still have my 2 boys to love, I absolutely adore them and I am so lucky to have them, but Sabra was my girl and I miss her so much. I am constantly terrified that something is going to happen Bear or Lynx now. The other day I even woke up in the night and searched the house for Bear, panicking that something had happened to him, when he was right by me in bed the whole time. I can't eat or sleep properly and I don't want to see anyone. My husband is getting frustrated with me over it. If I do leave the house, I worry the whole time and I can't stop thinking about how I will never see her again and it breaks my heart. We have buried Sabra under the orange tree in our garden , and I have planted some sweet little flowers around it in pinks and purples, and placed her name tag on the base of the tree - things like that make me feel better when I am doing them, but it doesn't last. I still can't believe that happened to my little baby, she was the sweetest most precious little thing. I know i could never have anticipated that it would happen but if I had not taken her downstairs then she would still be with me today - I will never forgive myself for it.

The anxiety you are feeling is a natural reaction to the traumatic loss of your precious little girl. I'm sorry your husband is impatient with you about it. My husband is impatient with me about my grief over the loss of our pups and the loss of my mother. He thinks it is his job to make me happy, and he take as a personal criticism any sign that I am not...no matter what the cause.

I'm so sorry for what happened to sweet little Sabra, but your husband needs to realize that it happened to you too. You will have to work through it. That is a process that can't be rushed.


Thoughts and prayers,
Dayna

I'm so sorry for your loss. It was just an unfortunate accident, no one is to blame.
They say God has a reason. Yea, well, I'd like to hear it.

I can relate to the accident your precious baby had. I too blame my SissyCat's death on myself. I usually let my cats (I had 5) (now 4)outside about 6 a.m. to run the yard and bring them in before going to work. On this morning there was a stray meowing at my window and my husband thought it was mine. I got up to make sure and they begged me to go out. It was about 4 a.m. so I thought they would be ok till time for me to get up for work. I got up to find my SissyCat laying by the driveway. She had been hit by a car. I too cry all the time. She had slept in my bed for almost the whole 2 years of her life. I don't know how to get over this. Today makes day 5 without her. There is so much what if's and whys in my mind. Hopfully in time it will get easier on both of us.
CatLover in Oklahoma

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. No one here would ever say that they had enough time with their babies and your time was cut incredibly short and tragic. I will never understand either why these things happen. Apparently, she was too missed and was called back home.

I found this poem from another member here who lost her cat and thought of it when I read your story:


Lend Me a Kitten

I will lend to you for awhile a kitten, God said.
For you to love while she lives, and mourn when she's dead.
Maybe for twelve or fourteen years, or maybe two or three.
But will you, 'till I call her back, take care of her for me?

She'll bring her charms to gladden you and, should her stay be brief
You'll always have her memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay, since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught below I want this kitten to learn.

I've looked the whole world over in search of teachers true.
And from the folk that crowds life's land I have chosen you.
Now will you give her all your love, nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take my kitten home again?

I fancied that I heard them say 'Dear Lord Thy Will Be Done'
For all the joys this kitten brings, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter her with tenderness, we'll love her while we may.
And for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay.

But should you call her back much sooner than we planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand.
If, by our love we've managed your wishes to achieve,
Then in memory of her whom we loved, please help us while we grieve.
When our cherished kitten departs this world of strife,
Please send yet another needing soul for us to love all his life.

Author Unknown

Peace to you in your time of grief,

Oliver's mama (Sarah)

I have read your stories and I am so sorry for all of your losses. I honestly think it is the most heartbreaking and painful thing to go through, and you are the only people I have found who understand that it is something that will never leave our minds, no matter how many times we are told its time to move on. I feel as though I have to pretend I am ok for the sake of other people, but I'm not, I miss her every second. I have read that poem, and find myself wishing that Sabra had got at least 2 years of a life, and not just a few weeks - with only 1 week in a real home where she was loved. I find myself crying not just because i miss her so much, but for the fact that she didn't get a proper chance at life and a home.

I am sorry you didn't get that baby Sabra, please know that I love you and miss you more than anything. Thinking of you always sweet pea ************

Little Sabra was so astonishingly beautiful, so incredibly precious...looking at her pictures just makes me want to hold her tight and kiss her little ears until they are soaking wet.It's a terrible thing to loose a little one...who should have her whole life ahead of her. I know how crushing is your disappointment not to be able to keep her in your loving home forever. But, I firmly believe and trust that she has a home now...in the arms of infinite love and tenderness. No harm can never come to her there, no sickness, no aging.

When you see her again you will have eternity in which to show her how much she means to you.


Thoughts and prayers,
Dayna

Sabra was beautiful!

I know it's quite difficult with your situation, with the accident and all. You can NOT blame yourself.

You are in my thoughts for losing that precious baby.

Thank you, I read your posts and I just burst into tears - I am so proud that she was mine, she was (is) incredibly beautiful! with a beautiful nature to go with it. I miss her so much. She was a little angel right from the start, never mind now that she is gone. I remembered today how on the first day we got her - she jumped off the sofa and clung to my hubbys surround sound (his precious surround sound which i never wanted and can't stand!). The look of horror on his face was so funny as he tried to peel her off it carefully! I just thought "thats my girl!!". It just made me smile, and is now making me cry a little. I just wish I had more memories with her, the ones I do have are great but there are too few, I know she would have brought me soooooooooooo many more. I have just got a locket with her pictures in and name engraved on the back. I'm really do hope that we get to see our babies again someday.

You're always in my thoughts Sabra boo, I miss you so much and it hurts like crazy.

Understand your pain and desperation, please don't blame your self, it was a sad accident, I too lost my Son Buster on the early morning hours of June 20th and am a total mess not able to sleep nor eat every since he died on my arms and missing him like crazy, you are a good person and hurts lots to feel you are so sad like I am, sorry again, Buster and Jorge

Thanks to everyone who has been here for me. Im afraid that its all happening again too soon - last week i took in a 3 week old kitten that someone had found alone and wedged into the bark of a small palm tree. As much as i was still hurting over Sabra I couldnt say no to the poor little thing. The people who found him had taken him to the vets and he was given the all clear and told to go back for his jabs in 2 weeks. I spent the first day absolutely terrified he was going to die, that something would happen like it did to Sabra. He wouldnt really eat or go to the toilet or anything - he just spent the day snuggled on my shoulder buried under my hair, i guess it made him feel like he was with his mother. Anyway, I took him to work with me the next morning and by the time we went home - he was like a different kitten! Eating and playing, wobbling around on his little legs checking everywhere out, I feel like we really bonded and it was so lovely to have him snuggled up for cuddles and a sleep every day. We've had him since last wednesday and at night I have had him in a large catbox with a furry cushion which he loves, next to my bed so that I could check on him every hour and give him a feed when he needed it, and hes been just great - really thriving. Last night before bed he was sick, I just thought he had eaten too much as he has come to be a greedy little thing, and he just went to sleep as normal. Then at 4 this morning he woke me up scrambling to get out of the box and meowing - i noticed he had diarrhoea (he always uses the litter tray already now), but he seemed ok when i got him out, trotting around and stuff and then he just turned. Hes quite fussy about sleep and whinges at the slightest movement - but he just went so drowsy and was suddenly falling asleep sitting up. When he woke up he would just have the runs and be sick, then just flop down wherever he was and fall asleep again, he even fell asleep in the tray. I stayed up with him from then and had him snuggled up with me but I could tell he just wasnt his usual self, he wasnt trying to nestle into my neck or anything he usually does. I told my husband but he said he would be fine, it was just that he ate too much - but i just knew he wasnt. In the end I made him ring the vets at 6, who told us to take him in at 9. I just couldnt wait that long so i made the vet let us take him in there and then, he says the little one has a virus. He has had injections and intravenus drip, and he is at the vets now. He is so little though that the vet and I dont know if he will make it. I am praying that he does. I know deep down that this time there is nothing more I could have done, but i still feel like it is some how my fault. I am beginning to wonder if i am cursed or something. I am also really worried that my other 2 babies will catch the virus now. I couldnt bear to lose any of them, I honestly dont know what i will do if that happens. I feel sick with worry and dont want to leave the other 2 now in case it happens to them. I worry that it came on so fast with the kitten, that if im not there and the other 2 get sick I wont catch it in time. I honestly cannot tell you how much my cats mean to me, im only 22, newly married and in this different country where i havent really made any real friends - they are all i have that keep me sane and happy, especially when my husband is on 24 hour shifts. I just love them so much, and i know that if anyone will understand it is all of you on this site.

Please let us know what happened.

If you are worried about your other 2 cats catching the virus...have a talk with your vet and tell him/her your concerns and find out if there is anything to be concerned about or to watch for.

I pray that new baby is okay.