Today I introduced little Coveu to Agility. I knew that together, we would excel in it just as you had done with me. I hadn’t planned on training Coveu just yet, but seeing his soulful hazel eyes staring longingly into mine this morning, I finally decided that after 18 months, it was time to move on.

Parking the car up beside the Agility course set my mind racing. How you used to yelp in excitement as we pulled up to this very spot, eager to be set free to leap the long jumps, race across the hurdles, ascend the A frame … You did it all so well … As we walked across the field, the grass crisp with morning frost, I remembered you, just as I knew I would … I remembered us both as we took this same walk, on this same field, approaching the same Agility course, but the friend beside me was not the same … I widened my eyes to discourage the tears, and concentrated on Coveu and the reason I had come here …

He was nervous to begin with, just as you were once … he cowered at the tunnel, refused the jumps, he seemed confused by the weaves… but with repetition and encouragement, he was soon completing most of the course … and like you, he did it so well …

Very soon, his tail was up and wagging, his eyes were gleaming, his little legs were beating the earth so hard and fast as he raced with me around the course … Me and my dog, me and my friend, a team again.

When I felt confident in him, I unhooked his leash, and I told him to wait at the beginning of the course whilst I took up the starting position …And as I released him into his frenzied leaps over the long jumps, I could see your glossy chestnut hair waving in the pearl white background, I could see your large brown eyes wide and shining, your mouth smiling … My heart beat fast and hard with sheer joy as I ran beside you, and together we raced around that course, crossing the hurdles, leaping over the long jumps, braving the seesaw, scrambling over the A Frame, and finishing on the catwalk, we raced … and for the briefest of moments we were together again, just as I had prayed to God for, dreamed every night about, cried for over and over and over … You were back again. “Good boy Bono”.

And as I heard myself say those words, my logic, my common sense, it came back to me slapping me hard across my face, so hard I felt dizzy … and parched with shock, I looked down at my dog ... the glossy chestnut fur with the pearl white background shortened, became black, the large dark brown eyes lightened … I knelt down beside him “Good boy Coveu”.

And with tears rushing the length of my face, we returned to the car …

I shut the door, my head pounding; I felt I was going mad this morning. I’d never had a day as bad as this before. But it was just a day … and I knew I was not going mad … I just miss you.

I started the engine, and before I pulled off, I stole one last glance at the Agility course … and I wondered if I'd brave it again ...

When you were a puppy, and I was introducing you to Agility, I promised you ‘Do it once, and your fears will go away’. And Coveu and I, we’ve done it once.

Hi Gillian............I am happy to hear that you have reached a time where you can go on. Though you have found a point where you think you can let go, you will find much more happiness in your life and heart. The memories you and Bono made together will forever flourish in your heart where he is truly alive and well.

You and Coveu will also have many happy and memorable times on the agility course. Those types of activities are good for both of you mentally, physically, and emotionally. The way we spend our time today become our memories tomorrow. Take those opportunities to make memorable times and soak in the fun and laughter.

All of your furloves are beautiful. It is quite evident how much you love and care for them. Even when I just look at your pictures I can see the love you saw through your eyes. How special you were to have had such a loving and lasting relationship with Bono.

May you bask in the sunshine of your sweet Bono and trust that one day you and he will meet once again.