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Lightning-Strike Pet Loss Support Forum > Pet Loss Support > Death and Dying Pet Support
Pammy
Hello Everyone, I am new here.

This past Friday I had to have my 16 year old cat Fidget put to sleep. I won't go into a long story but I had 3 cats, father, mother and son. The daddy cat had to be put to sleep 7 years ago, which left mother and son, Fidget and Teepee. Fidget had hyperthyroid which turned cancerous and Friday morning I knew it was time. Naturally I am a wreck right now but I know I will feel better as the days pass. My concern at the moment is Teepee. He is 15 years old and is now alone after all these years of having at least one other cat in the house. My husband and I both go out to work all day and I am worried about Teepee being sad and lonely without a feline companion to be with. He has always been a very territorial and possessive cat so bringing another cat in, even at a later date, is out of the question as far as I am concerned. Has anybody any tips and ideas on making this difficult transition for him a little easier? I am going leave messages on the answer machine during the day to let him hear my voice. I am just wondering if anyone here has had a pet in a similar situation and how you handled it. I am grateful for any ideas or tips anyone might have.
Thanks for being here.

Pammy
goliath
So sorry to hear about your loss of Fidget. sad.gif

As for Teepee...............I can only tell you what I did when I had to leave my Gidget to go to work. Music and the TV were left on for her as well as lights. Also, I left her plenty of quilts to snuggle up in along with synthetic stuffed toy doggies.

Gidget suffered in grief and went into depression, just as I did when Goliath went to heaven. When my hubby is in town he takes Gidget to work with him.

So many changes take place after a loved one's presence is no longer there. Gidget looked for Goliath constantly for a very long time. The other day I walked into one of the bedrooms where my puter is and found Gidget staring at the wall. She was so fixed on the wall that she never even turned her head around to see me. Perhaps she wasn't alone afterall. wub.gif
LoveThem
Welcome to the forum. I am glad you came. I think you will find ideas here from people's experiences.

You started with 3 related cats and so did I. Mine were twin boys, Little Guy (my avatar) and Keeper, and a girl, Little Girl. We lost Keeper to cancer in 2002, leaving 2 cats. The Little Girl was never friendly with her brother..she kind of tolerated him but he always seemed to want to be in the same room as her (See my tribute to Little Guy about him having a Sister). We lost her in 2006 at age 15 and did worry about Little Guy. But he ate okay, and seemed okay. We did give him a lot of special attention but at age 16, he did like to lay around and sleep alot. He seemed to accept being by himself. He always got more attention from his humans than his siblings. I think all babies can be different and you have to see what signs you see in Teepee. How close was he to his mother?

If you feel he was close and does miss her, Goliath's suggestions of leaving the TV or music on so he can hear voices should help and your answering machine idea is clever. I think Teepee's actions should give you clues and right now it doesn't sound like he is acting any different. But I can see maybe.. some music on when you leave him during the day and at night give him lots of special attention, hugs and stuff and watch for him acting any different than normal. If they used to lie together then maybe a blanket with her scent could be available for him to sniff and lie on. My Little Guy was also possessive as far as going nuts when he saw cats outside in his yard so I, too, did not want to add a new one when he became the last one with us. He was by himself with us for over 1 year and he acted as he always did..but then...his sister was not close to him. I would think he would miss his twin brother because he always cleaned his brother's face (although the brother did not do that back) but again Little Guy's attention was always more focused on us rather than his siblings and he always kept us in his sight when we were home with him which is most of the time.

Watch Teepee and if you notice anything come here and write about it and maybe we can come up with specific suggestions to what you notice. I just know that no matter what, extra hugs have to be appreciated and help any situation.

I am sorry for your loss of the father and now of the mother, Fidget. My Little Guy had to leave in September 2007..he was 16 1/2 and all 3 of my babies were born to a feral cat in our backyard in 1991 and were with us for many good years so I know and share in the pain you are having and am glad you still have one to hug and hold...it really helps. Remember Teepee is used to the both of you leaving for work and coming home so he probably would just sleep waiting. I don't think your normal routine of leaving will do anything to depress him. Maybe he will just assume Fidget is sleeping in another room..out of sight..while you are out.

Take Care and I hope you let us know how you and Teepee are doing.


Pammy
Thank you both Goliath and Love Them. Your replies have really helped. I am sorry too for both of your losses but it is wonderful to have a forum like this where we can share our sorrow and our joy. I will be sure to keep posting and would like to be here to help and support anyone who is in the same situation. Thank you again and I look forward to keeping in touch.

Bless you all.

Pammy
Jon730
My husband and I both go out to work all day and I am worried about Teepee being sad and lonely without a feline companion to be with. He has always been a very territorial and possessive cat so bringing another cat in, even at a later date, is out of the question as far as I am concerned. Has anybody any tips and ideas on making this difficult transition for him a little easier?

You might be surprised. Minka was an old cat, set in her ways, and The Boss. When her father died, she broke our heart by looking for him everywhere, howling at closet doors, and she never stopped. It went on for weeks. In desperation, we got a kitten who was black like her father. She quieted right down, and did acceot him quickly.
Minka then went on to live to be 23. (!). Her "Replacement Father" is still here, doing well.
Sometimes age and lonliness makes them better able to "Make a deal" with a new companion.
Pammy
Thank you for replying Jon730. It is interesting how different cats react. Teepee seems to be doing just fine on his own at the moment, although it is early days yet. I know he misses Fidget - he was calling for her the other night and he keeps sniffing places and then rubbing them as if he is trying to find her and wanting her to find him. However, he has always been a rather jealous guy and if I petted Fidget he would always come and stand between us! He didn't do that when she started to become ill though. It was as if he knew. Despite missing her, I think he is rather enjoying being "king of the castle". I will see how things go as time progresses.

Thank you again for taking the time to reply.

Pammy

You might be surprised. Minka was an old cat, set in her ways, and The Boss. When her father died, she broke our heart by looking for him everywhere, howling at closet doors, and she never stopped. It went on for weeks. In desperation, we got a kitten who was black like her father. She quieted right down, and did acceot him quickly.
Minka then went on to live to be 23. (!). Her "Replacement Father" is still here, doing well.
Sometimes age and lonliness makes them better able to "Make a deal" with a new companion.
[/quote]
goliath
[quote name='Pammy' date='Apr 23 2008, 05:19 PM' post='37900']
I know he misses Fidget - he was calling for her the other night and he keeps sniffing places and then rubbing them as if he is trying to find her and wanting her to find him. However, he has always been a rather jealous guy and if I petted Fidget he would always come and stand between us!



You make me smile when you talk about this little personalitly of Teepees. My Gidget has always been the jealous one. Goliath would be laying in my lap or on my chest and she would jump up and nip him in the butt so he would go somewhere else. Then she would go right back to wherever she was. If she was in a postioin to interupt a kiss in progress, she would stick her head inbetween my face and Golith's face. Even if my hubby kisses me while watching TV, she places herself inbetween us. Sometimes her little licker makes it's way to my hubby's lips before mine do. wub.gif

The differences in personalities of pets are amazing. No two are alike. There is so much to love in all of them. rolleyes.gif

Ever since Goliath passed away, Gidget has become much more loving and less jealous. I have been working more diligently with her in some aspects of her behavior. It took her a very long time to stop looking for Goliath. My heart would just break everytime I saw her go searching for him. The pain and grief I had myself over missing Goliath doubled when she went on these searches. Gidget went into depression just as I did. Her depression showed in many ways. Most of that depression has subsided and she has become much more social and loving with others around her. Alas! I am finally able to take her out walking without her sparring with other dogs. She plays much nicer, and I do too. smile.gif
Mistletoe
Pammy---

Just want to add my sympathy for your loss---We have had a houseful of cats for many years, so we have been thru this many times---

Some of our cats have bonded with one cat and when that cat has died--the one left behind has looked kinda lost for a little while--then they have bonded with one of the remaining cats--or even have come looking for me or my husband--and we just give them the attention we can--as both of us also work.

Hopefully---your kitty will get over it with time---I will keep him in my thoughts--


Mary
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