I'm finding that it's so hard to work now that it's been just days since I lost my beautiful Mr. M. It was so hard to pour his food into the garbage and to wash out his bowls. I still have his water bowl down there.... His wet food is still in the fridge. I can't part with everything just yet. It was on the 4th. It was expected yet I am in shock.

Some friends seem to be staying away. My husband has been an angel as he was while Mister was declining. He constructed two different sets of beautiful carpeted wood stairs for Mister, one to get onto the bed and one to get onto the couch. He is a furniture maker so Mister got some of his best wood and craftsmanship. There came a time where the arthritis made him unable to use the stairs....

This afternoon I gave a donation in honor of Mister to the humane society from which I adopted Mister in 1986. I'd gone there for a second Siamese kitten. They told me on the phone that they had a Siamese but it was gone when we got there. I nearly made it out of the kitten room but at the end a little black tiny kitten stuck his paw out between the bars to tell me that I was to be his Mom. He had me. Turned out that he had me for 22 years! We don't have that much money, but I wanted to make a donation to that shelter for them, for those animals, for the memory of Mister and it seems to help me a little bit.

I am going to donate the beautiful stairs that my husband made to my sister. She has a real menagerie in her house, wonderful dogs and cats, all getting older. I know they will be able to use them. It will be hard to see the house without them, but it will be with love that we pass them on to Mister's "cousins." Animals, pets, have always been big parts of our family.

Somehow doing these things are helping me right now. I am still a real wreck, carrying around his catnip mouse and catnip sushi. Those I'll keep.... I feel silly, but it's all helpful somehow. I know we will get the pair of kittens we planned on getting as 'brothers' or sisters to Mister one of these days, but for now it is just a bit too soon.

I've found these things, these acts, to be a little helpful during a time where not much seems right without my cat.

Thanks for listening,
Mister's mom

Anything you do that helps you find comfort is exactly what you should do. We all find comfort in different ways. Mister's belongings are a part of him that you can keep forever if you choose to. Some people find comfort in removing belongings. You are not without Mister, he lives in your heart as well as your husband's heart where he will dwell forever. True love never dwindles away.

I personally have found much comfort in keeping ALL of Goliath's belongings right where they were when he left this world. Peace is around and in me when I look at what was his. His rembrances bring me so many smiles of love and allow me to give thanks for the wonderful relationship we had that binds us together forever.

There's nothing to feel silly about in carrying Mister's catnip mouse or sushi catnip. I often cuddle with the baby quilt I made for Goliath when he was just a puppy. It comforts me. Sometimes I find comfort when I hold his little urn and sometimes I sing "How Much Is That Doggy In The Window.......arf, arf. Do whatever it is that you find comfort in no matter how silly you think you may appear. Especially when it eases your saddened heart.

The road to recovery is no easy task. But as we walk together we can grow spiritually and help each other with tender love and care.

Claire, I know you are hurting but I am glad that you finding ways to cope. I understand how hard it is to move Mister's things.

How wonderful that your husband crafted the steps for Mister. And how nice that you will pass them on for other pet's to enjoy. Just keep taking little steps each day and doing what makes you feel better. You are so fortunate to have a caring husband to lean on. Share your memories of Mister with each other. You'll laugh, you'll cry and you'll feel better in time.

Thinking of you both during this difficult time.

Claire: I'm glad you are coming back and talking. I told you in your original thread about Mister that we are listening and we are.

You are right that it is so hard because it has only been days. It is the hardest time of all right now.

Never feel that anything you do is silly...there is no such thing when something soothes the grief and pain in any way.

I had my Little Guy over 16 years and he is the longest I have ever had a pet. I love the idea that you had 22 years with Mister and your story of the little black kitten reaching out to you with his paw (and his heart) is priceless.

I still have food dishes from my dogs who have been gone many years. I never part with anything that belonged to any of my special ones. My last 3 cats, Little Guy, Keeper (his twin brother) and Little Girl (their sister), I have put their favorite toy in a ziplock bag along with a piece of their fur, and each bag is for one alone. So at times I take them out and remember them playing with their favorite toy and even though I couldn't stand the emptiness after I lost my last one, Little Guy, in September, and got a shelter kitty, the toys in those bags will remain there forever. My new one does play with tennis balls and some small toy balls but other than those, he has new toys and a new scratching post and cat beds for him. So I have a combination of old and new. The old is for memories and the new is for the new one who is a welcome distraction from my grief.

As I told you in my other post to you, I have put pictures in each room of my 3 so when I walk in, I see their faces and I find a comfort in that.

So nothing is ever silly when it is something that helps you. Do what feels right for you to do and it will be the right thing to do at that moment.

We would keep them forever if we could and they would stay with us forever if they could but time eventually changes things and each day and each year we have them is a precious gift and their memories fill our hearts with the love they gave us which we will never forget just as we will never forget them. As one mom said about the pain of losing him will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing him. I think about that a lot and let myself remember the joy of all those years which I am so thankful I was allowed to have with them, especially my last one, Little Guy, who I lost in September because when he was the only one and he was gone, that became the hardest time of all.

So we all do what we can to start the healing process so that the pain and feelings of being lost do not overwhelm us. That takes time to work and that's why this forum helps so much...it can consume some of that time in a positive way...and that means a lot to so many.

So come again and write as you feel. If you find some more pictures of Mister you want to share, attach one to a post and we will see him as you have. Pictures do help the healing.

I wish you peace and healing as these days pass.

Hi, Claire: I just read where you posted in another thread "your other pets a remembrance" about putting up pictures of Mister in all your rooms and that at first it made you sad but then you are finding it is good to look at those and talk to them.
I told you about me doing that and I hope that give you the idea because looking at my Little Guy when I walk into a room just means so much..it's like he is in that little frame instead of being on the couch but he is there for me to see. I walk over many times and touch his little face and tell him I miss him. I am glad I have those pictures to do that.

I also told you about my distraction adoption of a shelter kitty I named Lucky and he is definitely still that. Your words about thinking of another kitty and realizing there is no disloyalty to Mister are beautiful to read. It is so true that if our beautiful babies could be with us, they would be but when it is not to be, it is okay to open our home and heart to another who wants to give their unconditional love to someone...only they have to find someone willing to love them too. The new ones never replace what we had; they will become a part of new memories and their own bond. Every bond we have with every one who was part of our lives can never be broken. They will stay in our hearts forever and it is through experiencing their love that we can have enough love for another.

I wish you more peace every day and a smile when you look at Mister and remember taking that picture with him feeling healthy and happy being with you. Your avatar is beautiful and would make a wonderful 8x10 if you feel you would like that. I plan to do that with some of Little Guy's pictures cause it just sounds like..the bigger the picture...the closer they are to us. Take Care and be well.

Well, to confess, I used to write songs about my best cats and sing them to them. It did not take them long to figure them out, and they liked them, because I would hold them and sing them to them.
"Cat, you're my Reason for Living" to the tune of "Memories" from "CATS!".
Or one I made up starring Miles, to the tune of "Here Blue". It started, "I have a friend who's fat and black, I have a friend who's a hairy old cat; My best friend is an animule!, Here, Miles, you good cat you!", and she'd pat my face with her paw and purr.

This was what a prim niece of mine said was "Sick and over the top, and just outright ABNORMAL", and if I dd not stop, she was "going to vomit". This puzzled me, as she loves animals, had a dog for many years, and lives with five cats, one of whom is "Hers", and a big horse who is a friend of hers, whom she rides at every opportunity.

Some cats did recognize individual tunes. Molly had two favorites and would come running..."The Hag with the Money" and the "Boar and the Fox." The other cats would hide when the fiddle came out-Go figure! (There is a long story about those songs-Molly heard them in the womb- I would sit out there and lure the pregnant Miles at Feeding Time. It was more fun than "Here kitty kitty" and carried further.)

I presently have trouble with these Cat songs, and they come into my head unbidden and bring me crashing down. I had a sad dream about Miles this morrning before I awoke, and there is a pall over the day. I went trail biking and it helped to see Nature awaken in the Spring.

That is much better than what I did, and regret it.

I came home from the vet's, walked by a big bottle of Chivas Regal, picked it up, and drank it right out of the bottle*, fell apart, then threw away all her things and special food in the dumpster. I think it was the worst pain I ever felt, and could not bear to see her empty special windowsill bed, etc.


* That is something I NEVER do!

Nature is one of our greatest healers. The moon, the stars, and the sun, as well as the wind are what links Mother Nature so closely to our Heavenly Father. Together they sing in perfect harmony and we can hear it through the music that our beautiful birds bring.