It's been over a month since my cat, Sammie died. I miss her so much. I keep thinking I should feel better by now but I still feel so empty. I cry every day. She was my baby for almost 18 years, followed me like a dog, sat with me while I worked, watched TV, etc. My other cat died over a year ago. The bond was so deep & now I feel so alone. I keep looking at the graves. I feel so lost. I never had children & the bond was so deep. The purest love I have ever experienced. It hurts more than when I lost close family members. I don't think I ever want to adopt again, at least not for a very long time. Please, someone tell me these feelings are normal. I wonder if I will ever feel O.K. again.

I am so very grateful that I had my sweet girls for so long. Tabbie had experienced many health problems. But my Sammie was never sick a day in her life. I expected her to live well into her 20's. But she started losing weight, then started vomiting, & I found out she had cancer of the spleen. The vet loaded me up with med's but just 3 days after diagnosis, she vomited the meds twice. I called the vet & she encouraged me to do injections but I just felt it was time. It was Friday afternoon & I was worried she would get even worse & I'd have to take her to emergency. My Tabbie had to be euthanized at emergency because she got worse fast & I didn't want this to happen. I called the mobile vet & he had one apt time to do euthanasia at 3:30. I made the apt. & then I sat with her. I can't explain it but she gave me the message that she was ready to go & to help her. I held my baby during the injection. It all happened too fast but I am so grateful she did not suffer more.

I feel my faith is helping me but I wonder why I'm still feeling so much pain.

You have come to the right place, here on LS we are many, from different places, different backgrounds and often have different opinions but one thing we have in common is our extraordinary love for our animals. We know we love them more than what some would call 'normal'. Some of us have bonded with particular animals, we call them our soulmates and some have bonded with more than one soulmates, we all share that same great love and horrible grief over losing them, we ache, we grieve and we talk it over together. Most of the time we find that we are feeling the same thing and thinking the same thing. Misery loves company you will have people here who feel just like you.
I think I know what you are going through, I lost my 2 cats 16 months ago and came here 3 months later, this site really was good because I could grieve with others who felt like this and they are wonderful people who will readily help you or console you. In the outside world, lets face it we are all weirdos for taking it so hard.
There are many of faith here and they will be here to tell you how their faith helps them, then there are others who grieve here who may prefer a more congenial than spiritual side and others yet who are fully into the more magical mystical aspects of the life that lies beyond the mortal coat, then there are some who sort of like to consider all these ideas as a whole and then pick what sounds right to them....Anyways, we can all talk and soothe you through this, just know that what you are feeling is quite normal, hey, you're losing a life that was more special than most other persons are to you. I and many others here have grieved more than we have for any humans we have lost and our grief continues, years later. Here we grieve and sometimes we hope at the same time I can not help but have faith that he's still there and there is another life, that our lives on earth are just a day into eternity. However it works is really a mystery until that day.

Dear Cooler/Sammie's Mom,

How could you realistically expect to NOT still be so heart-broken after ONLY a mere month, considering the importance and preciousness of your bond with Sammie (and your other furchild, too?) You're normal, your grief is normal, so don't fret. I feel just like you, and even if I don't cry every day now, I still cry plenty......after 19 months today.....an amount of time that still feels both like an eternity and only yesterday, and probably always will. There's nothing at all 'wrong' with you, trust me. You just love your baby, and your heart is broken, and that's all there is to it.

I never had children either, except for my fur-children (2 cats, also). I'm a Mother and always will be to my kids, with a mother's broken heart now. I don't really expect to ever really feel more than maybe "okay" ever again......certainly not really "happy" or anywhere near as fulfilled as I did before.....just maybe "okay" in my new survival-mode. It's not a pleasant thought, but it IS appropriate to feel this way when you've lost someone, anyone, you've loved this deeply.

I'm so very sorry for your major loss(es), from one hurting heart to another.....

Yes, your feelings are very normal. We all are there or have been there. Why are you still feeling so much pain? Because you have lost a part of you...a part that was there with you everyday for so many years. And your loss is still recent...the more recent, the more pain. These sweet babies may be taken from us but what can never be taken away is the wonderful memories we have of them. They will always be with us, in our hearts and that can never be taken away from us either.

I lost a cat in 2006 and then I lost my last one, Little Guy, in Sept of 2007. He is the picture in my avatar. I understand what you are saying because I don't have children either and my special ones have always meant the world to me. Little Guy was my oldest ...he was 16 1/2 and I, too, hoped the 3 siblings I adopted in 1991 would all live until way into their 20's. It was not meant to be but I am very grateful for the years I did have. 99.99% of the time they were with me was happy and healthy times..for years. I accepted the connection and the bond easily. I enjoyed the unconditional love for so long, I never wanted it to stop but there is something that eventually takes control and takes them from us.

When I lost my last one....it not only felt like a hole in my heart but my home seemed so empty...no flash of black fur running by me at a moment's notice. No eyes filled with curiousity whenever I was doing something. But whenever I awakened in the mornings....there they were..those eyes..watching me for as they were the world to me so was I to them. Little Guy had to leave in September so I went through the special days of Halloween...when my 3 black cats fit right in. Thanksgiving when we give thanks for ?, and then Christmas..which was always my favorite Holiday...no little bodies running around...I could not stand the silence..the emptiness and so I adopted a shelter cat and named him Lucky. He looks somewhat like my others and he is such a distraction and demanding of attention that I don't have time to feel the pain as I used to. And, I know my babies would not me to feel any pain cause that's what their love is all about.

I have a couple of sayings I pass around that always made me feel better. Maybe they will help you:

1. The pain of losing her will never ever be bigger than the joy of knowing her.

2. One can ask with the depth of pain we go through WHY do we allow ourselves to become so attached to pets? All one has to do is think of the tremendous amount of unconditional love we get from them and then we can ask WHY wouldn't we?

The one thing these babies really taught me was that I do not want to be without that unconditional love they so freely give and that is why I will always open my home and my heart to another when the time comes. Our time with them is never long enough and never will be but I realize if they were not taken from me at some point, I would never have known the ones who came after them..who also needed a home and love and was anxious to give much more love back.

I love them dearly. I will love them and miss them as long as I have a breath of life but they taught me I do not have to live with the emptiness that descends when they are gone.

Only time helps the pain even though it will never go away...there will be less times you will feel overwhelmed by it. You have lost something so precious it can't ever really be described so of course what you are feeling now is normal. You are not alone in grieving...we are there with you. Our thoughts and hugs surround you in the only way we can help.

It can help to post some pictures of your babies. Pictures do have a way of bringing a smile to one's face and heaven knows, we really need that. You might tell us some stories that you would like to share. Keeping busy thinking of the good memories helps to push down the sad ones that threaten to overwhelm us at times.
If you visit my topics shown below in Tributes and New Beginnings you may see what I mean about pictures helping you as well as helping others. When we can make one another smile for a moment or laugh...that is a good thing and we can never have enough of feeling good moments.

Take Care and come back and talk....it helps to relieve some of the pain.

The deep pain and agony that accompanies the loss of a special love is difficult to cope with to say the least. The sadness you feel as a result of your very recent loss never goes away. However, as time helps to heal your aching heart, your good and wonderful memories you and Sammie made together will help push the sadness away and open another door of happiness and fond memories.

As you miss your sweet Sammie and continue on the long road of recovery, may you be blessed with the comfort and joy of having known such a love in your life.

As you share with others here and they in return share with you, you will find that we help each other through the most grim times as well as the happy times. Posting pics and looking at others stories and pics help me a great deal in easing my pain with the passing of my Goliath. That is what this site is all about as we carry each other through our exchanges of heartfelt thoughts and support.

May you be blessed with a calmness as you continue on the road to recovery where we all walk together.

You and your Sammmie seemed to have a special connection. She was truly your fur covered kid. It sounds like Sammie was ready to go on, even though you didn't want her to go, you knew you had to help her!
She had to leave on that journey and it was very brave and loving of you to help her on her trip. I'm sure she was very thankful to be free of such a painful cancer filled sick little body, and now she is free of pain and sickness.
You did all you could all her life to show her love, and that final act is proof enough.

I'm so sorry for your loss, let it out, it is OK to cry. And anyone who says to you "it was only a cat" or "you should be over it by now" obviously has no clue about your feelings. I think one month is too soon to be "over it" (unless Sammie was a pet rock you lost!)
But just remember, Sammie was real, your feelings are real, and best of all, you got to share your love for Sammie. So many people go through this life and don't get the chance to love a pet, and that is very sad.
In the end, you are a winner, you got to love your Sammie, and that love goes on, I know you were very blessed to have Sammie in your life!