Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: My Boy Is Gone
Lightning-Strike Pet Loss Support Forum > Pet Loss Support > Death and Dying Pet Support
catlover2
Hi all,
I posted here last week because my beloved cat Max was sick and needing a high level of care so I found another home for him where he would get the care he neded. Well, I couldn't stand it, I had to go and get him just a few days later. He was still so sick after much debate and talking with several vets, I decided to do the humane thing and end his pain but putting him down. I hated doing it, he was only 8 and such a great cat. I was at peace the first night because I wasn't worried about him anymore...but now it is sinking in that my kitty won't ever be back. We lost our dog a few years ago ( a loving, sweet lab named Sadie). I miss her everday still and know I will miss Max for the rest of my life. I liked the poem somebody posted "just a dog"....I got a lot of that...he's only a cat, you will go broke,etc... but in the end although maybe with intensive treatment and trips daily to the vet, he may have gotten better..but I just didn't see it happening, he was getting worse not better and I just couldn't let him feel so lousy.
thanks for listening, this is tough. I know only animal lovers understand-
toonie
I think that you did the right thing to go and get your cat from his new place, I think being sick and having to adapt to new people and new surroundings would have been difficult for him, so ill, it was better not to put him through all of this.
When we adopt a cat, we promise them in our own quiet way, that they will have as good a life as what we can offer them. When their time comes, it is up to us to decide what is best for them. Our pets, especially those that have been with us for a long time and trust us more than they would any other human being depend on us and we need to make decisions, some that we don't like at all, but we do our best. I know what you mean
QUOTE
but in the end although maybe with intensive treatment and trips daily to the vet, he may have gotten better..but I just didn't see it happening, he was getting worse not better and I just couldn't let him feel so lousy.

I could have been the one saying this, then again what if despite the intensive treatment and trips daily to the vet he would have continued his descent into suffering and illness then what would you have thought? that you made him suffer needlessly, that you should have done what you just did. Deciding is hard, I made my decision for my soulmate after several days of prayer and reflection, like you that first night I
felt at peace, he wasn't in pain anymore, he wasn't in grief anymore, I didn't have to worry about anything anymore...Then the next days I almost went crazy thinking I should have given him a chance to survive even if it was such a hard and long and unsure road I would have put him on. Like you I have to watch the budget and I was
not sure to be able to give him all this plus the time and attention he would have needed. My only consolation is that when I 'reverse' the roles, if my soulmate would have made the same decisions for me, I would totally understand and go on loving him like always... But what emotions, what grief, what going over and over and over again with self doubt and a certain amount of self hate.....quite a journey into yourself. Take care and be strong, one day you will have a chance to ease over these wrinkles by taking care of someone or some little soul that will be there for you
Hugs and know that your cat loves you for caring like that.
catlover2
thanks toonie! what happened to your pet? I was going crazy for the few days he wasn't home...he had been in/out of the vet hospital and then went to a another place w/ vet people where he would get round the clock care (I thought of it as a retirement home for cats!) but I couldn't stand it. I brought him home and for a few hours anyway he was home. He layed down on the carpet in our family room and was purring...so happy to be home. But just hours later...I knew that he wasn't going to get better...so I took him right then to be put down, no more suffering, no more pokes...just peace. It is hard at night, he always snuggled w/me on the couch..miss him terribly, and w/ him being fairly young still (7 or 8) I don't know what happened. That is the hardest part...why did my cat who has been this muscular healthy (outside) cat...always on the move and our big hunter get so sick, so fast? He just shut down, everything...like my old kitties have in the past but they were over 15 at least! Ughhhhh, so hard.
thanks for your support, it is the pits to lose a pet. I hate it, it stinks. Nobody else gets it...
toonie
QUOTE
thanks toonie! what happened to your pet?

My Yukon had been suffering from undetected feline diabetes,he hid it well, the symptoms were not very pronounced, he had lost some weight but was still a big cat at 17 lbs. He always ate lots, he always was hungry, he was such a lover of food..we all knew him to be like this, he would even wolf down popcorn, one vet had joked he was a great cat to have at a party! Then he lost his life long buddy, and he went into a silent depression, I now see what he was going through but I was grieving myself and tended to go lose myself outside, he was mostly indoors as that is where he liked to be. I thought it best not to cry in front of him so I avoided being near him and I guess he was doing the same, we stayed away from each other. I wondered if he wasn't mad at me, but I let it be, I felt unable to be concerned because all my life I had preferred Yukon and I was feeling guilty about Felix's little heart. Ten days after Felix died,to my great shock, Yukon crashed completely, his hind legs failed him and he walked like he was really drunk, we realized he was partially blind at times too, he was terribly sick and just wanted to crawl and lie in under the stairs in the basement, the same place his brother had been going to during his last days. I will always regret having spirited Felix away without leaving Yukon see his life companion's body, he wouldn't have worried about and looked for him all that time. It broke my heart to realize that despite his sickness he was still searching for his Felix. He was put on oral medications to lower his blood sugar and he also got insulin shots once a day at the vets for four days. I think that on that fourth day he picked up some. But the weekend came and we started him on just oral meds. I think the insulin would have perhaps helped him, but having to force feed him oral meds twice a day made me wonder how we both would feel about the needles. He also had to change his diet, in order to slowly lose weight, he was still asking for food a lot, his only pleasure would have to be limited too, how could he understand this? We could no longer keep his litter in the basement, had it on the first floor and he would trail little bits of little all over, some in the family complained about this, we had never had to put up with that before. Then there was his future to consider: His teeth needed cleaning and some would have had to be removed. Would he have been okay with this? But worst of all, I wondered how he would recover well when he was missing Felix terribly, he would for a long time, Yukon was such a loving cat, he loved his whole family so much, you could tell when he laid eyes on a member of the family how sweetly he looked at them. I wondered if with all his problems he was up to recover, he had just turned 14. I wondered how he would cope with our work keeping us outside for the better part of the year, all alone in the house, if his good years were not already all gone.
And I took the horrible decision, which I still question, always will. I think not only was my decision not right but how I did it was all wrong. I forgive myself because I know I was under such emotional stress I was almost psychotic. Until Felix's death, Yukon had been my sleeping companion, he was always at the foot of my bed, my guardian angel it seemed. I don't sleep as well since he's been gone, I feel his presence in my room at night, but at the same time I feel like I wasn't right with him, I was a mother gone out of control. I have since adopted a sick old cat an taking care of him like I should have my Yukon at least helps a bit.
goliath
You had a very tough and agonizing decision to make. It was out of your love for Max that you made the choice to end his misery and I know he loved you for it. Our loved furry kids know how much we love them and trust that whatever decisons we make, we make them out of love.

All of us have asked ourselves when our loved one dies if there was something else we could have done or should have done. We miss having them around us so much and life seems empty when they pass on and we cannot physically touch them or make anymore decisions on how they are cared for.

Max is painfree now and you have all the happy memories you and he built together. Those joyous memories will remain in your heart and mind forever and nobody can ever take them away from you.


Peace, love, and comfort are sent from my heart to yours.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2025 Invision Power Services, Inc.