hi guys im back again,

i lost my beloved babybear in 2005, rescued the lovely and most loverable puss (aged 13) in the whole world, found out a couple of days after got him home he had problems with his heart... was gutted. he has had all the treatment he can have now his lungs are filling up with fluid again and i so dont want to put him through having a needle put in his little chest again.

my question is when will i know its time!!! will i just know or will he tell me!!! i dont want to be selfish but my heart is breaking and so is his

i think i may have just answered my own question

sx

I guess there is no objective, definitive answer except to say that when you, as his caretaker, realize that he is devoid of his quality of life, it will be time. I wish you peace and comfort in making a decision that you can live with. My heart goes out to you.

I am so sorry about your baby.
I don't think anyone can tell you when it is time. I knew it was time for my guy because my dog felt SOOOO sick, he was vomiting every 4-6 hours, and when he got to the point where he wouldn't eat or drink for 24 hours we knew it was time. He was miserable and moaning, and just not enjoying life anymore.

I would think when your pet doesn't enjoy being here anymore, and when being here means you have to have needles poked in you because you can't breath, your chest hurts, and you can't "be a cat" anymore, then you must question whether you want a quant*ity of life for you beloved, or a QUALITY of life. I chose quality over quant*ity. My dog died at a very young age, and it was so unfair.
It will tear your heart out to make that decision, and it will be the hardest phone call you ever have to make to your vet (It may take several attempts, don't fret, office staff are used to this!)

I'm very sorry. keep us posted, it already sounds like you have answered your own question.

I decided to stay with my dog. Not everyone opts to stay with their pet, and THAT IS OK!
The vet let me choose, I could have the euthanasia solution administered and my pet would go in a matter of seconds, or, I could have my pet sedated or anesthetized and then have them administer the euthanasia AFTER the pet fell asleep.

I held him while he got his shot, (It was really an anesthesia, but you can opt for sedation if you want) it burned just for a second. Then he very slowly fell asleep in my arms. So, when it came time to find his vein, he didn't feel a thing when they gave him the euthanasia solution. My guy was actually gone before I knew it. It was very fast and very humane, and he went in my arms. My heart was crushed, but I just wanted him to be free from sickness.

My heart goes out to you, you are going through a very hard time, you rescued this poor baby just when he had developped his fatal illness. This rescued kitty is SO lucky to have you during what could have been the worst time in his life. Thanks to you, for this kitty, the physical may be in bad shape but the emotional has been taken care of, you are his soothing heaven-sent- angel- on- earth. You will see him through this and you seem to be doing this very competently also the advice you have gotten is very good.
My 13yr old Felix went through heart failure, I think it may have been a little too long for him or else it was just right, I'M still not sure, all that I know is that when the vet suggested that he wouldn't last another 48 hours and he would suffer a lot, I looked at him lying on the vet's exam table, he seemed to understand what was being said and he reached with his little paw for my hand next to him to touch me and I really felt that he was saying as he looked: it's okay mom, I'm ready, let's do this. He totally accepted the injection and I saw his eyes passing away, I could feel his relief. It was as beautiful as it can get, saying goodbye is never a good time. But I felt like what had been done was what was best. With his brother Yukon, who was terribly affected by Felix's death, I tried to save him from such suffering (Felix had hardly eaten or drank for his last days)and that was completely wrong, it was too early after he had become so sick, he wanted to be saved but we put him down, I still have to deal with this, in my mind, we make ourselves such beasts of burden when we take on their destiny, never easy but then, when we do, we do not see all the torture they might have had to endure after that final moment. It is very hard to be the decider, it is just as hard not to decide either, you have our support for whatever you do, only your intuition, your love and your prayers if these are for you, will help you through.
Hugs during this difficult time, may your kitties past surround you both and help you through.

I think our babies tell us when it is time. Whether their bodies start to fail or they've lost that zest for life. Most animals keep going despite their illness. They truly don't want to leave us. But unfortunately they all have to leave us someday. I think you will know by looking at your baby when it's time to say goodbye. They only have us to depend on, and through our pain we have to make that difficult decision.

I am so sorry that you are going through this time with your cat now.

Dear Babybear 2005,

My heart goes out to you at this very sad time. You will always know when is the right time to say good-bye. It's a message sent soul to soul.

I've had to chose death for both of my Angels. It never gets easier. What I've done to know when, is to watch their "life light". I don't know if this is a real thing or if anyone else can relate, but I'm a nurse and I believe that all people and animals have a life light (a will to live)...it can be seen in their eyes. I've seen coutless times over the years, that when someone (human or animal) is ready to die, when they've excepted that their life is ending...the light goes out. The eyes change. The will to live is gone.

I don't know if that makes sence. It's more something that I can see and feel instead of describe.

Both Hailey and Comet's light had extinguished. I could see that they were ready. But I did ask them to give me permission to make this choice for them. Comet nuzzeled my hand in responce and Hailey kissed my tears.

I've never regretted making this choice. Or staying with them during their crossing. I feel that when a person is able to make a choice that is in the best interest of another, even if that choice rips out their own heart...then that is unconditional love. I owed them no less. These were the hardest things I ever had to do. But it was also my last gift to them.

This poem has helped me...

FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND
You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.


But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.


So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.


The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.


That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.


Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.


You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.


So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.


Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.


And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.


I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.


In Memory of Asta, Feb. 1997
© Karen Clouston

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please come and share as often as you need. Feel everything you must. Let the pain be as large as it is. This is how we heal. And we are here to help.

I am so sorry you have to go through this again. It is wonderful and also hard when you adopt a 13 year old kitty. He was blessed to have this time with someone like you.

My Little Guy...who I described in How Do I stop Crying?...couldn't breathe right due to the sudden appearance of fluid in his chest which kept his lungs from expanding as they need to do when we take a breath. It was an emergency and the vet said the fluid could come back even if drained and it would keep coming back as long as the underlying cause could not be cured. I wanted to keep him but I cared for him so much I could not do that to him...he could not be cured. We were lucky to be home when he staggered into the living room showing us he needed help. I wanted peace for him and I did not want to not be home when he needed us.

I agree with what you said when you say you believe you answered your own question.
Bless you for taking in a sweet 13 year old with a heart problem. You have given him something very special in the time you have been together and he, of course, give you the unconditional love we prize so much when we receive it from our babies.

We never want them to leave us. I had a vet tell me many years ago when I asked the question..how do I know when it is time? He said when I felt the quality of life wasn't there anymore for the baby...that should be my guide. I have used that each time I had to make that decision and even knowing that reason doesn't make it any easier or less painful. It is a part of what we accept when we take the responsibility for these babies. What we do, we do out of love (and so do they).

Thank you all so much for your kind and wise words.

Yesterday morning i made my decsion so at 9am my beautiful boy felt no pain no more.

We laid on the floor tuesday night looking in to each others eyes and i just knew what i had to do that he had had enough and that even if we went through the needles and more medication we would both keep coming back to this same point. So i totally agree when people say that you just know because you do you have to think with both your heart and your head at the same time but both are telling you to do different things, it is the hardest thing i have ever had to do.

He had Fresh salmon and chicken for breakfast and then a bowl of milk, when i picked him up to get in his basket he had milk dripping from his lips he looked like he was smiling. that he was happy and he knew what was going to happen and that he was at peace with it. And then at the vets even as they was putting the needle in his leg he just sat there like the good little boy that he always has been.

Both my boys are together now and i love and miss them more than words could ever say.

For all of you who have lost or are losing we all must remember that is it better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all. Just think what your life would be if you had never been touched by these wonderful creatures.

S x

I admire your strength to make the decision. That is the greatest love of all...putting your baby before yourself.

There are a couple of sayings people have posted that have helped me and I will put them here and hope you find comfort in them.


1. The pain of losing him will never ever be bigger than the joy of knowing him.


2. One can ask with the depth of pain we go through WHY do we allow ourselves to become so attached to pets? All one has to do is think of the tremendous amount of unconditional love we get from them and then we can ask WHY wouldn't we?



Hugs to you...your pain is shared by many..you are not alone in the feelings you are having.