I lost my 15 year old beautiful silver grey tabby Bonny on Christmas Eve and I am in so much pain. Bonny had been losing weight the last few months. This time last year she was a beautiful, healthy cat with a beautiful coat. Her health went downhill quickly through the year. She had lost so much weight. I had taken her in to the vet and they did blood tests. She also had a check-up and they indicated she had a heart murmur.
The blood tests were normal, no kidney disease. However, they decided to do an ultrasound to take a look at her abdomen. She had swollen lymph nodes but we decided not to do an invasive biopsy because she had the very noticable heart murmur and may not make in through the process. She was put on prednisone but I think it was too late. She kept eating right up to the very end. She didn't seem to be in any discomfort but I still feel guilty. Why didn't I notice sooner? Why didn't I take action sooner? Why did I let her go that long?
I also have guilt about not being with her when she was put to sleep. I was out of town and my petsitter had to take her to the vet. She was not fairing well. Her temperature was very low and the vet told me she was "crashing" and they needed to give her oxygen. She indicated that they felt it was time to euthanize and that if I didn't give my okay, they would have to be her advocate. I told them of course I would give them the okay as I didn't want her to suffer anymore. I wasn't with her and I feel so bad. I lost another cat to cancer last year and was with him up to the very end. It was difficult but I was so glad I was there.
I miss Bonny so much. She was such a good friend to me. She saw me through so much in my life. She saw me through addiction recovery, clinical depression, a bad marriage, my aunt's passing, my mother's illness, the birth of my son. She was with me for one third of my life. It is so hard to lose her. I can hardly bare the pain. I am now crying again. I can't stop crying. I want her back. When I got home last night my pet sitter and friend had put away all of my Christmas decorations and lights. Christmas ended for me on Christmas Eve.
Full Version: Bonny Forever In My Heart
I am so very sorry about Bonny. The more recent the loss, the more pain and tears there is and that is where you are. You have been through it before as have so many here but the past never makes the future pain any less. It is good to come here and post your feelings as that does help in the healing process.
How beautiful you had her 15 years. I decided with my Little Guy that the 16 1/2 years of good health was a blessing and I am so thankful for that. I try to think of that instead of what happened this year. I cannot change anything except try to not let the pain overwhelm me. I have found being here and seeing others stories and talking to them has helped a lot.
I, too, can say mine was healthy and happy and racing through my home last year at Christmas. This is my first Christmas with an empty home and so I didn't put anything up. Since he went in Sept I had time to decide that before Dec came. It is awful to spend the Holiday without them. They are so much a part of our home and life.
It sounds to me, especially with her heart murmur that all decisions made were good ones. Mine would have had to have exploratory surgery and the vet didn't want to do that at age 16, especially when they really felt he had cancer, and he couldn't eat as he should. As far as being with her at the end, I know you said you had done that before and I don't think you should feel guilty about that. I know I haven't been able to be in the room...I always wait in a different room because I get hysterical crying making the decision and I don't want my baby to see and feel that from me. I want her to go to sleep peacefully...not excited because I can't control my tears, etc.
Take Care and remember the good memories and know she knew you loved her and she was content. You had her unconditional love 11 years in person and now you have it forever in your heart. When it is their time to leave us, I don't believe we have a choice about that. If we were shown something that we are sure could have changed the outcome we would have done it. When so much is hidden from us, that takes our control away from us. So all we can do is the best we can with what we know at the time and hope it is the answer. We can hope but there is no guarantee.
How beautiful you had her 15 years. I decided with my Little Guy that the 16 1/2 years of good health was a blessing and I am so thankful for that. I try to think of that instead of what happened this year. I cannot change anything except try to not let the pain overwhelm me. I have found being here and seeing others stories and talking to them has helped a lot.
I, too, can say mine was healthy and happy and racing through my home last year at Christmas. This is my first Christmas with an empty home and so I didn't put anything up. Since he went in Sept I had time to decide that before Dec came. It is awful to spend the Holiday without them. They are so much a part of our home and life.
It sounds to me, especially with her heart murmur that all decisions made were good ones. Mine would have had to have exploratory surgery and the vet didn't want to do that at age 16, especially when they really felt he had cancer, and he couldn't eat as he should. As far as being with her at the end, I know you said you had done that before and I don't think you should feel guilty about that. I know I haven't been able to be in the room...I always wait in a different room because I get hysterical crying making the decision and I don't want my baby to see and feel that from me. I want her to go to sleep peacefully...not excited because I can't control my tears, etc.
Take Care and remember the good memories and know she knew you loved her and she was content. You had her unconditional love 11 years in person and now you have it forever in your heart. When it is their time to leave us, I don't believe we have a choice about that. If we were shown something that we are sure could have changed the outcome we would have done it. When so much is hidden from us, that takes our control away from us. So all we can do is the best we can with what we know at the time and hope it is the answer. We can hope but there is no guarantee.
Love Them,
Thank you for taking the time to reply. It helps. I am sorry about your loss of Little Guy also. I am back home today after being out of town for a few days and it is difficult. Today is a difficult day. I know that Bonny is in a better place, but I'm certainly not. I want to give myself a kick and say snap out of it Catherine, but I know it won't work. I go back to my parents on Sunday to help take care of them after my father's illness. I'm glad of that. I don't want to be here. I just want Bonny back. Thanks for your kind words.
Bonny's Mom
Thank you for taking the time to reply. It helps. I am sorry about your loss of Little Guy also. I am back home today after being out of town for a few days and it is difficult. Today is a difficult day. I know that Bonny is in a better place, but I'm certainly not. I want to give myself a kick and say snap out of it Catherine, but I know it won't work. I go back to my parents on Sunday to help take care of them after my father's illness. I'm glad of that. I don't want to be here. I just want Bonny back. Thanks for your kind words.
Bonny's Mom
Catherine,
I am very sorry that Bonny passed on to Rainbow Bridge. It is always hard but especially during holiday seasons to lose a loved one. May time help to heal this wound and leave only the good memories about her. You had a lot of history with Bonny present and this adds to the sense of loss. You will get over the bad feelings and one day you will look back with only feelings of fondness and grat*itude for the time she spent with you.
Take care,
Ken Albin
I am very sorry that Bonny passed on to Rainbow Bridge. It is always hard but especially during holiday seasons to lose a loved one. May time help to heal this wound and leave only the good memories about her. You had a lot of history with Bonny present and this adds to the sense of loss. You will get over the bad feelings and one day you will look back with only feelings of fondness and grat*itude for the time she spent with you.
Take care,
Ken Albin
Bonny's Mom, I know what you must be going through, you have known Bonny for 15 years, I lost my own soulmate of 13 years in November 06 and I still miss him but I'm much better now, though he is on my mind all the time and I come to this site nearly every day, I am still much affected by this but my morale, my psyche are all so much better so please know that you will make your way out of this awful grief, it will subside and though you will go on missing and needing Bonny, Bonny will help you through this, somehow they can, just ask for her and eventually you will realize she is right here, still with you and this will give you a sense of peace, patience and hope.
why do we blame ourselves so, some say that it's because we feel responsible for them because we control their lives; that may be so. As you know, cats hide their symptoms so well that we can not tell how bad they are until it's so much advanced, one of Ken Albin's recent posts says it best, by the time they show their symptoms it's because it's totally been brought out of their control. Another thing I have come to realize (that's the advantage of my being of a riper old age than you) is that for humans or for animals of an advanced age, if one thing doesn't get them, then another one moves in and does it, it is inevitable, your Bonny was as old as if she would have been, a 78 year old woman, that is a difficult time for humans too and the happy life they have know is challenged if not totally lost.
Personally, if I reach that age and become ill with cancer, I would love it if my soulmate could come and ask that ....you know..... 
The important thing to me would have been the years before, not those to come.
As for being with Bonny for her last hours, it is hard to tell whether you would really have wanted it, you were so good to her to leave yourself out of the question when the veterinarians suggested that she shouldn't suffer any longer. Sometimes, it can be harder on the pets and on the owner to be there, I know I did it all wrong and it would have been better in my case if my cat had not seen me, my emotions, my
decision all written in my face for him to see during his last hour. Please accept that this is how it was, that Bonny, had she been in your shoes and you in hers would have done exactly like you did for Bonny, that the love between you two is forever and you will house her in your heart while your life continues to be open to beautiful experiences and moments, that when you find peace and contentment you will hear Bonny purring in the background and you will know that all the good things you have known will follow you, they can never leave you, they are yours to have. Take care, I know how hard it is right now, hugs.
QUOTE
Why didn't I notice sooner? Why didn't I take action sooner? Why did I let her go that long?
why do we blame ourselves so, some say that it's because we feel responsible for them because we control their lives; that may be so. As you know, cats hide their symptoms so well that we can not tell how bad they are until it's so much advanced, one of Ken Albin's recent posts says it best, by the time they show their symptoms it's because it's totally been brought out of their control. Another thing I have come to realize (that's the advantage of my being of a riper old age than you) is that for humans or for animals of an advanced age, if one thing doesn't get them, then another one moves in and does it, it is inevitable, your Bonny was as old as if she would have been, a 78 year old woman, that is a difficult time for humans too and the happy life they have know is challenged if not totally lost.
Personally, if I reach that age and become ill with cancer, I would love it if my soulmate could come and ask that ....you know..... The important thing to me would have been the years before, not those to come.
As for being with Bonny for her last hours, it is hard to tell whether you would really have wanted it, you were so good to her to leave yourself out of the question when the veterinarians suggested that she shouldn't suffer any longer. Sometimes, it can be harder on the pets and on the owner to be there, I know I did it all wrong and it would have been better in my case if my cat had not seen me, my emotions, my
decision all written in my face for him to see during his last hour. Please accept that this is how it was, that Bonny, had she been in your shoes and you in hers would have done exactly like you did for Bonny, that the love between you two is forever and you will house her in your heart while your life continues to be open to beautiful experiences and moments, that when you find peace and contentment you will hear Bonny purring in the background and you will know that all the good things you have known will follow you, they can never leave you, they are yours to have. Take care, I know how hard it is right now, hugs.
Thank you so much for the comforting words. I have been crying on and off all day and the pain is not subsiding, it seems to be intensifying. I want my Bonny back so much. I was going through old photos of her today and they were so nice to see. I still have so much guilt that I wasn't with her at the end. I don't know how to forgive myself. She was my sweet girl and I miss her so much. How could God have taken her when I was out of town. This is not fair. She deserved better. I want so much to hold her in my arms and stroke her head and give her a kiss on the top of her head like I did all the time. I loved giving her kisses and I know that she loved getting them. She had this way of looking at me that would melt my heart. She saw into my heart. She was so much more than a cat; she was a soulmate and she was pure love. When you lose pure love how do you go on? I have another cat who I'm pouring love on but I still miss my girl, she was so special and now I have a gaping hole in my heart. I'm hurting so much.
Bonny's mom
I want to send you my sympathy for your loss of Bonny. You join so many of us here who feel the pain you are feeling. I lost my Annie a few days after Thanksgiving. I cannot stop crying. I wish I had something positive to tell you but I am not feeling so myself. But I understand your loss and your pain.
Annie's mommy
I want to send you my sympathy for your loss of Bonny. You join so many of us here who feel the pain you are feeling. I lost my Annie a few days after Thanksgiving. I cannot stop crying. I wish I had something positive to tell you but I am not feeling so myself. But I understand your loss and your pain.
Annie's mommy
Hi Joanne,
Thank you for the post. It was very comforting, especially about not being with Bonny at the end. I cried today; I cry everyday. I keep thinking that with each day I will get more healing and not cry as much. Not true. I am crying with full intensity and pain each day. Right now I feel like I am just going through the motions and not really living. I went for a long walk today and prayed. I asked Bonny for a sign that she is okay. This is a touch holiday season. My father was in the hospital for emergency surgery and the day he came home was the day Bonny was put to sleep. I want this year to be over. But I know that death is a part of life and we all have to go through it. It just never gets easier does it.
I'm sorry to hear about Mew cat. She sounds so sweet. It so hard to know when is the right time. I will keep you in my prayers that the answer comes. I'm glad that this website is here. I find that I am really leaning on it this week and I'm so grateful for your taking the time to respond. You really don't know how much you have helped me. Thank you so much. I will get the book and I will pray for you and Mew cat.
Blessings to both of you,
Catherine
Thank you for the post. It was very comforting, especially about not being with Bonny at the end. I cried today; I cry everyday. I keep thinking that with each day I will get more healing and not cry as much. Not true. I am crying with full intensity and pain each day. Right now I feel like I am just going through the motions and not really living. I went for a long walk today and prayed. I asked Bonny for a sign that she is okay. This is a touch holiday season. My father was in the hospital for emergency surgery and the day he came home was the day Bonny was put to sleep. I want this year to be over. But I know that death is a part of life and we all have to go through it. It just never gets easier does it.
I'm sorry to hear about Mew cat. She sounds so sweet. It so hard to know when is the right time. I will keep you in my prayers that the answer comes. I'm glad that this website is here. I find that I am really leaning on it this week and I'm so grateful for your taking the time to respond. You really don't know how much you have helped me. Thank you so much. I will get the book and I will pray for you and Mew cat.
Blessings to both of you,
Catherine
Hi Joanne,
I just got back online tonight after being at my parents for a few days. I had my laptop but dial-up on their phone line is not the best. I came back home today and when I got home I fell apart again. I went through old pictures looking for all the pictures of Bonny I could fine. Thank God I took a lot of them, especially when she was younger and before the birth of my son. It seems after he was born, most of the pictures taken were of him. I'm still a mess and just want her back. I see her everywhere. I haven't had a sign from her yet; am still waiting. I've had one dream but it did not seem like an astral visit. I have not had a chance to get the book yet, but I'm so looking forward to getting it. I like Sylvia Brown's version of heaven and our babies greeting us when we get there. I don't know the t*itle of the book but I'm actively looking for it in my house. I moved last year after divorce and haven't found it yet.
How is Mew Cat doing. I keep you guys in my prayers. As I write this I am praying for both of you. Thanks for your thoughts and words. They have been immeasurably helpful.
Bonny's Mom
I just got back online tonight after being at my parents for a few days. I had my laptop but dial-up on their phone line is not the best. I came back home today and when I got home I fell apart again. I went through old pictures looking for all the pictures of Bonny I could fine. Thank God I took a lot of them, especially when she was younger and before the birth of my son. It seems after he was born, most of the pictures taken were of him. I'm still a mess and just want her back. I see her everywhere. I haven't had a sign from her yet; am still waiting. I've had one dream but it did not seem like an astral visit. I have not had a chance to get the book yet, but I'm so looking forward to getting it. I like Sylvia Brown's version of heaven and our babies greeting us when we get there. I don't know the t*itle of the book but I'm actively looking for it in my house. I moved last year after divorce and haven't found it yet.
How is Mew Cat doing. I keep you guys in my prayers. As I write this I am praying for both of you. Thanks for your thoughts and words. They have been immeasurably helpful.
Bonny's Mom
QUOTE
Its just amazing to me, how so many humans under play the value of other species. And then it amazes me because our babies aren't human our love is less for them.
joanneIt amazes me too that some would not understand that our love is as strong for them as it is for humans, furthermore the love they give us is real, not like the love of our critics!
Bonny's Mom
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved friend. I know how you feel, I felt the same way when I lost my Big Guy. Please try to not feel so guilty, it's not your fault. Cats hide their illnesses so well. I know that really isn't any comfort right now. When my Biggie passed, I was just like you. I saw him everywhere. I went and gathered all his pictures. I even found a couple of tufts of his hair, which I still have. I would even smell his blanket for just a whiff of him. It's been almost 7 years and my heart hurts for him today as it did the day we had him put down. It takes time. The hurt doesn't go away, you learn to deal with it better. Which is what I am trying to do with my Mom's death and my friend's death on New Years day.
I'm sure your pray for my Whiska must have helped as I just got a call from my vet. Thank you so very much.
Please take care, you are in my thoughts and prayers also.
(((((Bonny's Mom)))))
Hugs,
Whiska's Mom
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved friend. I know how you feel, I felt the same way when I lost my Big Guy. Please try to not feel so guilty, it's not your fault. Cats hide their illnesses so well. I know that really isn't any comfort right now. When my Biggie passed, I was just like you. I saw him everywhere. I went and gathered all his pictures. I even found a couple of tufts of his hair, which I still have. I would even smell his blanket for just a whiff of him. It's been almost 7 years and my heart hurts for him today as it did the day we had him put down. It takes time. The hurt doesn't go away, you learn to deal with it better. Which is what I am trying to do with my Mom's death and my friend's death on New Years day.
I'm sure your pray for my Whiska must have helped as I just got a call from my vet. Thank you so very much.
Please take care, you are in my thoughts and prayers also.
(((((Bonny's Mom)))))
Hugs,
Whiska's Mom
Joanne,
I couldn't agree more. Well said. I am down to one kitty and will be adopting another one possibly tomorrow. I went to the shelter on Saturday and it was almost closed. I almost adopted one on the spot but I didn't. I actually saw two that I wanted to take home. I've never had more than two cats at a time. I'm wondering if I can handle three. I'm so afraid that I won't. And then I was reading your posts about your babies being sick and I wonder if I'm strong enough to handle it. I really don't know; that's the honest truth. I want more but I'm afraid at the same time. I will pray for guidance that I do the right thing.
My prayer are with you and your kitties now and I wish you the best. Take care of yourself too.
Bonny'sMom
I couldn't agree more. Well said. I am down to one kitty and will be adopting another one possibly tomorrow. I went to the shelter on Saturday and it was almost closed. I almost adopted one on the spot but I didn't. I actually saw two that I wanted to take home. I've never had more than two cats at a time. I'm wondering if I can handle three. I'm so afraid that I won't. And then I was reading your posts about your babies being sick and I wonder if I'm strong enough to handle it. I really don't know; that's the honest truth. I want more but I'm afraid at the same time. I will pray for guidance that I do the right thing.
My prayer are with you and your kitties now and I wish you the best. Take care of yourself too.
Bonny'sMom
Bonny's Mom: I am glad you feel connected to one at the shelter. I couldn't stand an empty home with no kitty and looked the day before Christmas..they were closed on Christmas..and I adopted the day after Christmas and named him Lucky. I am starting his story in New Beginnings.
As far as 3 cats, I was prepared to adopt 3 but at the time I saw one that I connected with and I went back and got him. Being only 2 years old or younger, I forgot the energy they have. My Little Guy was 16 1/2 when I lost him. His brother was 10 and his sister was 15. they were feral kittens born in my backyard in 1991. I kept 3 of the 5 born and it was my first time with really more than 1. It worked out fine.
I didn't have any problems with any of my animals until they became old and had problems that come with old age. The shelter cat I just got did get a free vet checkup and as I said his stools were a little loose, they had me bring in a fecal sample and he has a couple of parasites in his stool that medication should knock out. Otherwise, he is doing fine.
Joanne is having a hard time right now. All of her babies except 1 kitten she recently adopted are seniors. One is almost 12 another is 16, etc. I say this to reassure you that although youth is not perfect....the chances of having problems is less than with seniors.
It is not easy handling 6 babies but she is doing a wonderful job. Don't be scared. Do what you feel comfortable with and if you bonded to more than one...you may always wonder what that one is doing if you don't cement the bond by adoption.
But the really important thing is definitely do what you feel comfortable with...what makes you happy when you think about it...that should make it, whatever the decision, the right one.
I have a Tribute to Little Guy in that Section and show his twin brother and talk about him and also I added one to Little Guy's sister ...all a story with pictures. You might want to look at that and see if it helps. I had the twin boys and their sister..so I had 3 who wanted to stay with me. The boys were my teddy bears and the girl wouldn't stay out of my lap...all as kittens..so I am really not sure who adopted who..
Good luck with your decision and let us know what happens and if you do get 1 or more you can put them in the New Beginnings section..which is where I just started a topic on my new one who I named Lucky. I'm going to add pictures and a story soon.
Take Care and any baby you adopt will be lucky you chose him/her/them and I will say I really appreciate experiencing again that unconditional love I lost when I lost my last one...Little Guy in September.
As far as 3 cats, I was prepared to adopt 3 but at the time I saw one that I connected with and I went back and got him. Being only 2 years old or younger, I forgot the energy they have. My Little Guy was 16 1/2 when I lost him. His brother was 10 and his sister was 15. they were feral kittens born in my backyard in 1991. I kept 3 of the 5 born and it was my first time with really more than 1. It worked out fine.
I didn't have any problems with any of my animals until they became old and had problems that come with old age. The shelter cat I just got did get a free vet checkup and as I said his stools were a little loose, they had me bring in a fecal sample and he has a couple of parasites in his stool that medication should knock out. Otherwise, he is doing fine.
Joanne is having a hard time right now. All of her babies except 1 kitten she recently adopted are seniors. One is almost 12 another is 16, etc. I say this to reassure you that although youth is not perfect....the chances of having problems is less than with seniors.
It is not easy handling 6 babies but she is doing a wonderful job. Don't be scared. Do what you feel comfortable with and if you bonded to more than one...you may always wonder what that one is doing if you don't cement the bond by adoption.
But the really important thing is definitely do what you feel comfortable with...what makes you happy when you think about it...that should make it, whatever the decision, the right one.
I have a Tribute to Little Guy in that Section and show his twin brother and talk about him and also I added one to Little Guy's sister ...all a story with pictures. You might want to look at that and see if it helps. I had the twin boys and their sister..so I had 3 who wanted to stay with me. The boys were my teddy bears and the girl wouldn't stay out of my lap...all as kittens..so I am really not sure who adopted who..
Good luck with your decision and let us know what happens and if you do get 1 or more you can put them in the New Beginnings section..which is where I just started a topic on my new one who I named Lucky. I'm going to add pictures and a story soon.
Take Care and any baby you adopt will be lucky you chose him/her/them and I will say I really appreciate experiencing again that unconditional love I lost when I lost my last one...Little Guy in September.
LoveThem,
Thanks for sharing. I really helps. I did go adopt the tabby bobtail kitten today. She has to be sent for spaying so I won't get her for a couple of days. The other one isn't adoptable until Thursday. There are three people on the list for her so I know that if I don't adopt her someone will. She is adorable though. I'm still thinking. I'm depressed today again. Not a good day. I'm finding ways to make myself feel guilty about Bonnie. Today my thing is that I didn't take good care of her at the end. I should have been more there for her going through her intestinal problems. I was so focused at times on cleaning the poop. She was pooping a lot all over the place. She even got banished to the garage on some nights. Now I feel horrible. How could I have been so insensitive. I feel like a terrible mom to her. And I loved her so much. I feel so bad.
I'm feeling really nervous about the new kitty and I don't know why. I might have adopted too soon. I think I was trying to find a distraction from the pain and though a new kitty in the house would do that. I don't know. I just am so confused. I'm sure I will love her but I'm feeling bad today because maybe I should have waited longer, but the bigger the pain, the faster I want to adopt. Am I nuts or what? Thanks for being there LoveThem, your postings help a great deal.
Bonny'sMom
Thanks for sharing. I really helps. I did go adopt the tabby bobtail kitten today. She has to be sent for spaying so I won't get her for a couple of days. The other one isn't adoptable until Thursday. There are three people on the list for her so I know that if I don't adopt her someone will. She is adorable though. I'm still thinking. I'm depressed today again. Not a good day. I'm finding ways to make myself feel guilty about Bonnie. Today my thing is that I didn't take good care of her at the end. I should have been more there for her going through her intestinal problems. I was so focused at times on cleaning the poop. She was pooping a lot all over the place. She even got banished to the garage on some nights. Now I feel horrible. How could I have been so insensitive. I feel like a terrible mom to her. And I loved her so much. I feel so bad.
I'm feeling really nervous about the new kitty and I don't know why. I might have adopted too soon. I think I was trying to find a distraction from the pain and though a new kitty in the house would do that. I don't know. I just am so confused. I'm sure I will love her but I'm feeling bad today because maybe I should have waited longer, but the bigger the pain, the faster I want to adopt. Am I nuts or what? Thanks for being there LoveThem, your postings help a great deal.
Bonny'sMom
Bonny's Mom: No you are not nuts. Everything you are feeling and going through is a very normal part of losing your baby. We all have been there, are there and will be there in the future...hopefully after many years of fun first.
It is not our fault that our babies are given their illnesses when they get older. And when we see their quality of life is not there anymore...they depend on us to do the right thing...they can't do it for themselves. It is not fair that we should feel any guilt about anything...we are human and do the best we can at the moment. Only God is perfect so we should not expect to emulate Him. It is not possible.
I agree the more the pain the faster we want to be distracted from it. What caused it cannot be undone and it does no good to be depressed all the time when we can't change the past that causes the depression.
All we can do is change the future....for me...the distraction of a new baby is what has always worked. They need a home and love and I have an empty home and love to spare. I can look at my baby's pictures and feel a wish I could go back in time to when I took the picture and he felt fine but I know that can never be. So I can touch his picture and think of him with love and miss him but I don't have to cry non-stop anymore cause I have a new one who needs attention and training and he makes me laugh at his playing so I can forget for moments how terrible sad my loss made me.
I know from years past...bringing a new one into my home has always been a tremendous help for me emotionally. And I can understand the sooner the better because everyday there is a huge hole in our life....it just fills up with tears and sadness and that won't bring our babies back. They are at peace and by bringing the new one into our home...we are assured they aren't homeless on the street, or being abused by people who don't care. You become their whole life and their love is a joy to behold. Love and caring just can't do anything wrong.
Do post more about your babies. That is also part of the healing process. You will never ever forget your Bonny but now she is part of your heart and soul and that can never be taken away from you. You will still cry but as I found..it will no longer feel like 24/7. Take Care and let us know how things are going. We love hearing about good news.....that also helps buffer the sad ones.
It is not our fault that our babies are given their illnesses when they get older. And when we see their quality of life is not there anymore...they depend on us to do the right thing...they can't do it for themselves. It is not fair that we should feel any guilt about anything...we are human and do the best we can at the moment. Only God is perfect so we should not expect to emulate Him. It is not possible.
I agree the more the pain the faster we want to be distracted from it. What caused it cannot be undone and it does no good to be depressed all the time when we can't change the past that causes the depression.
All we can do is change the future....for me...the distraction of a new baby is what has always worked. They need a home and love and I have an empty home and love to spare. I can look at my baby's pictures and feel a wish I could go back in time to when I took the picture and he felt fine but I know that can never be. So I can touch his picture and think of him with love and miss him but I don't have to cry non-stop anymore cause I have a new one who needs attention and training and he makes me laugh at his playing so I can forget for moments how terrible sad my loss made me.
I know from years past...bringing a new one into my home has always been a tremendous help for me emotionally. And I can understand the sooner the better because everyday there is a huge hole in our life....it just fills up with tears and sadness and that won't bring our babies back. They are at peace and by bringing the new one into our home...we are assured they aren't homeless on the street, or being abused by people who don't care. You become their whole life and their love is a joy to behold. Love and caring just can't do anything wrong.
Do post more about your babies. That is also part of the healing process. You will never ever forget your Bonny but now she is part of your heart and soul and that can never be taken away from you. You will still cry but as I found..it will no longer feel like 24/7. Take Care and let us know how things are going. We love hearing about good news.....that also helps buffer the sad ones.
Hi Bonnie's Mom, I left you a message in Lovethem's thread.
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