My little chihuahua Pumpkin died 4 months ago today and the grief is overwhelming me tonite. I still miss her so much and there is a hole in my life... I try picturing her happy at the rainbow bridge running and playing. She hadn't been able to run for several years due to a collapsing trachea condition common to tiny dogs. I sometimes feel selfish because I still wish she was here...
It's funny how safe Pumpkin made me feel and how much she comforted me. I really think that I depended more on her that she did on me. The world seems like a scary place without her. I sometimes still have thoughts that I know are NOT logical. We moved to a new home in Sept 2003, and I sometimes think that she would be alive if we had not moved. I avoid driving by our old home, because it makes me so sad... It still bothers me that I had gone shopping for 2 hours on the afternoon before she died that evening. I could have had those hours with her and I would give everything I own to get them back.
I still hope that she will visit me or even come back to me somehow. We adopted another chihuahua that was about to be put to sleep. I am starting to love him, despite the fact that he has many irritating behaviors - he barks excessively, goes around the house marking it with urine, and I can't let my birds out of their cage anymore, because he will go after them.
I love to read the posts here since it reminds me that I am not alone... Time is helping the grief to lessen, but slowly...

Four months is not a long time, particularly since you spent so many years with Pumpkin. It is so understandable to feel the grief, particularly when you are reminded of her. The thoughts you are having are not necessarily illogical. You loved her and of course you would want her back to spend more time with.

I ran some errands the day before I had Oswald put to sleep. I had to get my mom's birthday gift mailed, plus pick some groceries up. I sort of wish I could have spent the hour or so extra with him, but I didn't. We had years together before.

I am glad that you adopted another buddy who needed to be rescued and that you are starting to love him. The hard thing with doing that is that we know they are not the "right" animal, although they will become another "right" animal with time.

May your memories of Pumpkin become more glad than sad, and may the sadness just prove what a huge heart you truly have!

runningplace--I had a lhasa apso named "pumpkin"! I had her for 17 years..she was a wonderful friend. I always got irritated with people who insisted calling her "punkin" I would correct them and say "NO it is PUMPkin--like the vegtable!"
One of the hardest things I ever had to do was to have my Pumpkin put to sleep. It was several years ago and I actually became a "cat person".

Patti

Hi,

You lost your Pumpkin right around the same time as my Little Girl. I have to run but just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and will write more later. I am feeling very similar to how you are (I just posted something under Marcia's topic entitled, "I thought I'd be okay").

Talk to you a little later.

Love,

Kathy