Hello everyone. I am so grief stricken right now I can't stand it. I have cried until the tears stop coming and then I cry some more. Tiger was my little grey striped Tabby mix. He showed up at work one day in 2005 so of course I brought him home. He looked to be about six months old or so. I am a cat person but I pretty much love all animals. I had one cat already so another certainly wouldn't be bad. Let me first offer apoligies for my post as I know I am rambling. I'm not thinking very clear right now. Anyway, when I brought him home it was obvious he had something physically wrong with him. His hind legs did not work correctly, he was pretty uncoordinated. His breathing always seemed labored as well. After some vet visits I was told he had some nerve damage and he couldn't poop without three daily doses of medicine. He actually had to have a number of surgeries to clean out his bowells because sometimes the medicine wasn't enough. I didn't care what it took to keep him with me, he was so precious. Even the vet workers were taken by his sweet demeanor and personality. He never complained. Saturday he began to throw up liquid and was very listless. This had happened before but he came out of it. Sunday I tried to give him some petromalt and amoxycillin as I did before but to no avail. I set him on the love seat by the wood stove where he slept a lot, checking on him every couple minutes or so but the last time....... that was it. I could tell he had stopped breathing and he had that look on his face. You folks who have been there when your pet passes on no what look I'm speaking of. I called his name several times and then he inhaled deep then exhaled and that was it. He was gone. My grief over this little guy is every bit as great as it was when I lost my dad. This little guy had so much wrong but he was such a sweet kitty. I feel he didn't get a fair shake in this life. I feel cheated as well. I am a Christian and I know God is in control, but I really have to question what the point of this was. Thanks for listening (reading). Bruce

Oh Bruce...

such a tragic loss for you. I hope that you find some comfort in sharing your loss with others here who have all the understanding and compassion we all need when we have had our hearts broken and many have had their faith stolen as well.

The only comfort I can find is in knowing that so many others are feeling the same things I am and in reading books on afterlife experience. I am considering a medium to contact my lost one.

I am truly saddened for you and Tiger. I can "hear" in your words how wonderful he was and how much he meant to you.

annie's mommy

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Although it was cut short you gave Tiger a great home and he knew he was loved very much. This is something he might not have been able to experience if it wasn't for you.

I understand your pain completely. I also understand the confusion when it came to "a fair shake". I went through both of these with the death of my Baby 1 year ago. Let me say my freind that there is no answer to the question of "fairness". Things that we love die for reasons far beyond our comprehension and leave us empty, wanting and full of anger & questions. So your journey into grief begins. Please believe me when I say the day will come that the question will no longer matter. It is meant to be that way...it is the way of things. Please come here and write much my friend. Take care of yourself.......

Bruce,

I was saddened to read of your loss of dear Tiger. You have my deepest sympathy during this difficult time.

I understand how you feel that Tiger was given a rough road in life. But remember...without you he would never have experienced the love that you provided. The chances that he would have found someone to give him the extra medical attention would have been slim. Many people would have just given up on him because of his special needs. You gave him the time and proper meds to survive.

I can certainly relate to your question about why God takes these young animals. But for some questions we will never have the answers. I look at it this way. God gives us these animals as "gifts" to care for. The animals teach us what unconditional love is. We are so happy when we have our animals and so saddened when we have to return our gift to God. But in time we will have more room in our heart to share with another furry friend.

Cherish the memories that you shared with Tiger and soon you will smile just thinking of him.

Nancy

I'm so sorry, Bruce. I'm a Christian too, but I still shoot angry and accusing questions at God when I'm really down. It sounds to me like Tiger was brought into your life for a purpose, despite how short of a time it was. Some of us get longs peroeds of time and some of us short but we would trade one second would we?

I do believe we will see our pets again in the next life. Animals are pure and sinless and I'm sure there is a place in God's kingdom for their spirits.

You are in the roughest time right now. I know you would just like to get out of it, but it's okay to let it all out. It's helpful infact. you will always miss your precious Tiger but know that the two of you did not come together in vain. I know it doesn't help to tell you that you have his memories but there wull come a time soon when you will cherish every one of them without feeling like your heart is being ripped out. It's true that it was Tigers time to depart from this world, but you know that Tiger would want you to be happy....for right now that just means to allow yourself to purge your body of the tremendous wave of dispair you are experiencing. It will subside and you will smile and even laugh again and always know that Tiger is with you somehow.

Take care my brother,
John B.

Thank you so much each and every one of you! You have no idea how much your kind words and compassion mean to me. I'm so glad I found this website. Bless you all! Bruce

I am so sorry to hear about Tiger. There are many good comments in the replies I see here. It is recent and that's why everything is so dark around you right now. Write, cry, vent, whatever it takes to get your feelings and thoughts out instead of having them churn inside of you.

You rescued a darling baby and you said in 2005, which means that even though he had physical problems when you got him, you gave him quality time, you gave him love, and it doesn't sound as if there was anything you didn't give him. The hurt is absolutely tremendous! He is at peace. He is not suffering. But we all want our babies to stay with us and be at peace and not suffering but be healthy and alive with us.

What has helped me is the caring and sharing of people here who are experiencing the same pain so they understand the agony of it all and each must work through their own pain in their own way but it really is the same horrible pain we share. What does not help me are the ones not in this forum who have never even acknowledged that I lost a close baby I had over 16 years who was my friend no matter what. That's why I am thankful this is here and so many wonderful people have found it and even though they are grieving also....they try to comfort us all. So talk all you want to, don't think you are rambling cause what you are is...grieving in a major way. You did an absolutely wonderful thing when you took in that baby....you gave him something only you could give and he gave back what he could. I'm glad you had the time you did with him..I wish for you it was longer but it's true that life is not fair...the closest it comes to fair is to pair a baby with someone who can love him..that's about as fair as it gets. Then each day you have together is a blessing.
Take Care and know that even though the pain will never completely go away, it will at times not be overwhelming. Use this forum as your outlet.

It's really tough again this morning. The tears are streaming as I wright this. This house is so empty. So quiet. My other kitty Leo is a quiet cat. He moves around pretty stealth like. He's a big grey guy probably about 10 years old or so. You always new when tiger was walking from room to room because of the shuffling walk he had due to his nerve damage. A lot of times he would get tripped up and lose his balance and kind of spin around and fall to his side while trying to keep himself upright with his upper body. It was all so pathetic and heart wrenching to watch. You could see frustration on his cute little face. Both of the cats would usually sleep on the bed with me. When I awoke I would talk to them. Leo would kind of stretch and just look at me. Tiger would stretch, look at me very intent, then suddenly jump to his feet and walk up on me to my face purring and butting his head against my chin. Then after petting him for a minute or two I'd say "You guys ready....you ready lets go!" they would both jump off of the bed and head to the kitchen to get breakfast. God in Heaven how I miss that little guy! Bruce

Oh Bruce,
You have my deepest sympathy for your loss of Tiger. That morning routine with the cats sounds so adorable. It's those memories that initially make us cry. Today marks 3 months since I lost my Duffy. Today, I can find that through the tears, I can sometimes smile at some of the memories I shared with him. It's still fresh for you and so it is a raw pain. I wish you peace on your journey through this grieving process. I guess it's the price we must pay for the joy that our babies gave us. Someone on this site also said that we take on the emotional pain so that our babies no longer have to go through physical pain. I can buy that justification, I guess. Take care and I look forward to hearing more about your sweet memories with Tiger. Again, I am so sorry.

I know what you mean, Bruce. I think it is especially hard for you because you were an exceptional caretaker for Tiger. You gave him so much needed attention. You went above and beyond in your selfless service so it is not surprising the incredible void you are feeling now. It will get better. It will never be the same and you will always miss Tiger, and rightfully so, he deserves every tear that falls!but I can promise that in time it will get better.

Take care
John B

Again, thank you. John B, I think you hit the nail on the head. These last two plus years of my life have pretty much revolved around my sweet little Tiger. When I was in the house he was either by me or in my lap. My thoughts were, for the most part, of him when I wasn't at home. I could be at work and I would think of him and it would bring a smile to my face. He would be the first to greet me at the door when I came home. On the other hand I worried about him almost all the time. Having so much wrong with his little body I knew that something could go horribly wrong at any time. I just hoped and prayed I would have him with me longer than he was. But it was not to be. The grief is immeasureable. I do know it will get easier with time. These kittys are my family, literally, so when they pass on it hurts. When one comes into your life that needs as much love and care as did Tiger, and passes on, the hurt and pain is without equal. Bruce

You gave your all, Bruce and formed a bond that many of us will never understand. It is no surprize how deeply this has affected you. I hope that you come here often to write of what you are going through. It really does help and there are always going to be new people coming that will need to hear your kind words of empathy when you are ready. Post a picture or two of Tiger. We'd love to see him.

John, I would love to post some pics unfortunately I never took any of him. I cant believe I let time slip by without doing that! At least I have vivid pictures of him in my mind, what's left of it. Bruce

Hello Bruce,
Sounds like your Tiger was a little angel. And you gave him life. I wish I had a word to help but I still feel pain too. (we lost our little guy Nov 18) So you have my deepest sympathy. I found comfort here.
I am also very angry at God for how my Chris Craft died (hit by a car and put in a dumpster) I wish I wasn't so angry but I can't help it. Every time I think of it I feel sick.

I also found that losing my cat was as bad as losing my parents. And I loved my parents. I had my cat in my life for more years than I had my own Mom.
One thing that did help me feel a little better was visiting my Dad's best friend (in his 80's) and making him feel special (he is).
I hope Tiger has met Chris Craft and all the others by now.
Hang in there,
cfholden

Hello everyone. Well, it's been two weeks now and I'm doing WAY better than I thought I would be at this point in time. I know I'll see Tiger again as well as the other pets and family members I have lost over the years. My other kitty Leo is really wanting to be around me now. He is next to me right now talking to me as I write this.
I just wanted to bring this bit of the story up as well. Another little kitty passed away the same day either very early Sunday or very late Saturday. He belonged to my mom and was the last of a litter of four I had rescued from work 17 years ago. His name was Blacky. He was a very cute little guy as well. Sunday Dec. 9 was not a good day for my family. We had to bury two beautiful dearly loved kitties.
I just wanted to thank you all again. You really have no idea how much you have helped me through this very difficult time. I'd like to wish you all an awesome merry Christmas! And to those going through a difficult time right now my thoughts and prayers go out to you. Bruce

Bruce, my sympathies for the losses you have gone through. I am happy to read that you are doing better, and yes, it really helps to think of when we will be together again and to 'know' that this life on earth will be very short, relatively speaking, so we can do what we can to make it a better world then we will be together again, as things should be. Take care, the world is a better place when people are so kind to animals and to others, you are part of this better world and you will have changed it for the better.