One year ago tuesday my life changed forever. It was a Monday so tonight was the night my husband stayed up all night with him. I had bought him an Arby's roast beef sandwich hoping to get him to eat something.

I don't want to relive all the details.Can everyone think of my husband and I at 7:30pm tomorrow????

We've been doing great with a new daughter and cat his year, but with the anniversary this week we could use some kind words. The pain is definitely coming back remembering this whole time of year last year.

I am so grateful to Misty for all he did for me, he really was my best friend and prepared me well for human parenthood. He taught me how to love, enjoy life, care for someone else and put someone else's needs before my own.

I had no experience with children, but my experiences with Misty singing songs, playing, and watching Little House on the Prairie together, rotating toys, etc. has helped make the transition. I watch Sesame Street, sing songs, care, worry, rotate toys, feed favorite foods, you name it!!

I am sure there will be tears this week, but I told my him I also want to spend some time scanning pictures for his poster and writing down some of our funny stories, laughing, and remembering the good times.

Thanks everyone for listening. I think the first year anniversary makes the grief process seem so final. I appreciate having everyone here to lend a lsitening ear.

I would not have made it through those first 4 months without this board. Thanks everyone: Moose, Jen, Alley's Mom, Toonie, and Furkidlet's Mom and so many others that helped me get through it.

Please be thinking fo us tomorrow and Tuesday.

Misty's Mama

Radgirl for sure I'll keep you and yours in my toughts tomorrow night. I know so many of the emotions you have shared with us here over the last year -how you became much more compassionate, same here, not only that but when I sympathized with people who were going through their own hard times they seemed to appreciate what I was saying so much more than before, as if intuitively they knew I knew what suffering was all about too although I never mentioned my cats. And I know all how the Monday will bring it all back even if the official date is the next day on Tuesday, our routines, the fact that it was a Monday will be there to mark the first day, then the Tuesday will mark the date, it will be a hard two days. I grieved for Felix three weeks before my worst day of Yukon's death , I was afraid almost to reach that day, the same Thursday of of a year ago when my world fell completely apart, then the the Nov. 2 date on the Friday to mark the official one year date. Things were actually easier than I expected, I think finding the little straw angel that fell from the tree right on Yukon's grave that early Thursday morning, putting that little angel in my pocket to carry with me during that Thursday and leaving it under my pillow from then on helped. Sometimes I almost feel Yukon's support there for me. But there are lows that still happen, especially if other aspects of daily life are as they normally can be, not perfect, and then I miss my soulmate cat so much it's almost unbearable, however the moment subsides fairly quickly after it's rise but when it's there, the thought of his/their absence is almost unberable. I'll get through this, the year has healed me to feeling better but there are still those intense missing him moments, there always will be, just like you say too. Take care and for sure, having you and Misty in my thoughts tomorrow and especially at 7:30 will be a very good place for my mind to be. Dear Radgirl and many many happy moments,those are good times with your little daughter and your darling husband, I love how he and you are together in this, another strength for you both. May you be blessed with Misty's spirit of love continued and everyone else's love to share in this big picture. Hugs.
P.S. I love the name you chose: RADGIRL!

I understand completely. I will remember you then......
take care.....

I, too, will be thinking of you, your husband, and Misty. I went back and read your story. I understand a lot of what you said. My stomach goes into knots whenever I read the word cancer. That took my LIttle Guy. But at least I had him for 16 years..even though I wanted longer. It also over the years has been responsible for more than one cat and dog passing. I hate it so much. Sometimes I feel a cure could be found if making so much money on treatments for humans and animals didn't look like it was more important. Why cure something when you can make huge profits with all kinds of expensive pills and treatments? When I read drug companies pay off generics to delay coming on the market so they can make another billion for an extra few years, I could scream. Sorry about that tirade but the word..cancer..really sets me off..there is so much suffering connected to it.

I also understand that those around you seem to act as though the loss was a minor thing that you should get over quickly....no real animal lover would ever ever give you that impression. God didn't make everyone love animals..and we read about that, don't we..........but I guess when he chose to put them on this earth....someone had to take care of them and receive their love back.

I try to forget the dates of my special ones passing so I don't revisit the grieving that hurts so badly. My husband writes them down but he doesn't bring it up to me, he just remembers in his own way. The recent ones I can't forget the dates yet..it is too fresh. I never forget them and I will think about the good memories with them but the sooner I forget the ending for them...the healthier it is for me.

We each grieve in our own way and whatever way it is...is the right way for us. There is no correct way. Only we know what comforts us and many do grieve in the same ways. Each loved one is special but the pain and sadness is felt so similar by everyone. I see posts mentioning "20 years" since losing one..the sadness thinking of the loss never goes away but the grief becomes manageable and, I guess, that's the best we can do with it. I'm so sorry for your loss of Misty and I am glad Magic did "magically" appear for you. We'll love and miss them as long as we have a breath left. Thinking of all of you..................

I will spend some moments of silent prayer for you tomorrow night at 7:30. But I am also thinking of you now and praying for you to find a sense of peace. Is it not amazing how our pet children prepare us for parenthood? Of course the only children my hubby and I have are furry, so we continue to use our *parenting techniques* with them . It sounds like Misty was a wonderful pet child and a year is an emotional anniversary. I think of you today with love ans will be there at 7:30 tomorrow night in spirit and prayer to help ease your pain and bring you peace.

Susan

You are your husband will definately be on my mind tomorrow and Tuesday. In fact, I will light a candle for little Misty. I'm so sorry for this tough anniversary coming up.

Misty's Mama

The year is so hard. It's such a blessing we found each other, this last year would have been so much harder without support. I'll be thinking of you and your family tomorrow evening.

Misty was a special guy, with a special family who loved him so much. Our lives have changed so much. There is great joy, but we still miss our guys.

Love

Hugs Radgirl, you know I'm thinking of you , and your family at this difficult time.
I missed the 7:30 because I did not see your post until now, sorry.
Misty is still with you in spirit, I truly believe that.

Take care

Thanks everyone for their kind words.....with so many good things happening this year, it was hard to have to revisit the pain again. But it didn't last long, I like to think Misty made sure my daughter was healthy and the delivery went well, and sent Magic to us when we were ready. Since Magic's only 3 years old, she'll hopefully live till my daughter is in high school. It was almost like Misty said "I never would have made it, here's cat who can grow up with your daughter."

We did cry a bit Monday night, we took him out of the box and thanked him for everything, watching over my daughter and sending Magic. I rather not get into the rest, but I think we both got out a few feeligns that completed the grief process for us both.

Magic is very protective of our daughter and it is funny to see in cat. If she's crying Magic will literally stand outside the shower and wait till out get out..meowing up a storm and trying to lead me to my daughter's room. it's adorable. My daughter loves her and grabs her ears, Magic doesn't flinch at all.....

Thanks everyone for their thoughts. I am sure I'll have my moments here and there and it's great to know I can come here for support.

Many thanks,

Radgirl

I am an x-ray tech, hence the name, Toonie. I also know waht you mean about dates, even though it's the 27th, it will always be the Monday after Thanksgiving for me......

Thanks again all......

Thence the name! I thought you named yourself 'radical girl' which was pretty cool and sounds pretty much like you too. Hugs, Rad Girl, you are the greatest!