Our much cherished 19 year old Chris Craft the cat didn't come home last Saturday night, or Sunday morning. My husband went looking for him and found him, apparently having been hit by a car, and left in a dumpster. My husband came home screaming, and in shock. He won't describe to me exactly what he saw. But says it was bad. We both can't stop the crying and I've never felt such pain. I've watched both my parents die before my eyes, but this feels worse. I had time to prepare for my parents (years actually) .and although I cried for them, this pain is different. More intense, and the emptiness in our home without our cat is unbelievable. I don't want to go home. I feel such pain for my husband who had to find him. I keep reliving the moment he came home screaming and crying, and then I break into tears.
I will miss my little guy so much. Sunday was the worst day of my life.

I am so sorry to hear about your cat. Our animal companions are so hard to lose. Feeling more pain for losing an animal than a human family member is a common thing. I was a young boy when my mother and father died and I didn't cry one tear (not that I didn't love them, I did... very much so) But when my cat was put to sleep I cried like a baby.

Try to take a little comfort in the fact that he was found instead of not knowing what happened to him and wondering what happened to him.

You are in the darkest hours. The only relief seems to be to cry and you can always come here and share your feelings; it does help to write down how you are feeling and one time is not enough. You will get responses from many wonderful people here who have shared the pain of losing a loved and cherished one. You had yours for 19 years.......I had my last one for 16 years. It was the longest I had an animal stay well. The longer they are with you the more of an imprint there is on your soul as there are memories for each year added to the year before and so on. And yet there is also a lot of pain when one only had a loved one a short time cause it only takes a short time to become a part of your heart.

The grief is overwhelming...so you must try to find some type of outlet to unburden yourself. What you have now is the freshest and clearest memory of something horribly painful for you. Scream out loud, cry as long as you need, and really try to come here and post and let your feelings stream out of you into the written words.

It is a start back to the light.........Take Care and know there are ones here who understand the pain. If you read some of the other posts..you will see others have gone through very painful experiences also. That's why they will reach out to you and try to help you start a healing process. It takes time...it really does. But there is help here when you need it.

I am so sorry for your loss -- my heart goes out to you and your husband. Please do feel free to pour your feelings out here. It was a great comfort to me to come here when I lost my cats -- helped to know others felt the pain I did.

Dear ChrisCraft's parents, My deepest sympathies for the loss of your wonderful cat, do you realize that if you had him for 19 years it must have been because he loved his life so much that he kept himself in amazingly great health so we can all agree that he must have had a fantastic life, full of adventures, discoveries on top of all your love and care. When I read your tragic account of your Chris Craft's death, it reminded me of our own Sophie, just a barn cat, not loved and cared for like your Chris Craft but I thought it important to tell you her story. One beautiful Sunday morning this August my husband and I were talking about the event we had attended the night before when my son came downstairs to tell me that as he and his friends were pulling out of our yard that evening they hit Sophie and they saw her crawl away to the rose bushes after having been hit.
My first reaction was to find Sophie in case she was agonizing still, still my quick tongue told my son why the hell didn't you leave me a message, you don't let animals suffer like this....etc..etc...and I ran to the rose bush area, I found beautiful Sophie the barn cat, lying peacefully, no other expression that her sweet face looking as if it was asleep, no apparent injury on her body. She was a beautiful calico with a black background and plenty of multicolored spots on top, little white paws. Even if she eventually grew too wild to be petted, she had had her first vaccines in 1998 so she I knew she was 9 years old, rather ripe old age for a wild barn cat. It looked like her old age or just the hit finished her really quickly, I was grateful for this.
My feeling is that your Chris Craft left this way too, if other cars hit him after he most likely did not feel the horrors that were left on his little body. I know this sounds so hard, describing things like this. But know that there is a whole lot of likely hood that you will be doing the suffering and that Chris Craft was spared of all the pain you are going through. Please come back here to talk or cry like we all do, the pain is very fresh for you but you will get better, for sure, only for now, the rain will have to fall.
Know that we are all with you as you go through this most difficult time too. I as well as many others here share with you the fact that this is a most intense time, when my father died he had been ill for a long time, for my cats, I was traumatized by their death and being here for over a year I can say that I am much better, I am in a sort of way healed, but I still like to come here, it's my way of staying in touch with the great mystic cat and dog and ferret and else world of our friends who are right next to us as we sit at this computer and at other times. Take care, we care.

May I offer my deepest sympathy in the loss of your precious fur baby. Chris Craft was so fortunate to be in your lives for 19 years. I am glad that you and your husband have each other to lean on right now. We each lose our pet's in different ways. Going through the grieving process will be painful. But please know that in time your pain will be lifted. You have all of those wonderful memories to cherish and hold dear to your heart. Although Chris Craft is not here physically he is hear always with you in spirit.

I'm new to this forum so I hope I am doing this right....I loved reading these replies although they made me cry, but then crying feels pretty good. I am aware that the more we love the harder we grieve. And I know Chris Craft was loved and he loved us. I also know that at 19, his time was coming, whether it was months, a year or 2, but I just wasn't ready last week. As you all already know now, the hardest part is the void, where he is not now. I can't even bring myself to move his blanket or put away his food and water bowls. My brother wanted to get me a new cat right away and I said absolutely no. I don't know if I could ever love another cat like I did Chris Craft.

I found when a pet's loss left me alone that it hurt more to look at things like the water and food dishes. They just reinforced the thought that he or she will never use them again. This time, as before, I packed all away but I put pictures of my Little Guy in all the rooms so when I walk into a room I see his picture where he is happy and healthy and it was a time I could go over and give him a hug. The rooms don't seem so empty with the pictures. I walked over and give him a touch and tell him I miss him. I did have him 16 years so I can relate to the length of time you had your baby.

Your brother is trying to help you fill the void. Animal people seem to have big enough hearts to help the ones no one else wants. I'm close to going to a no-kill shelter soon and looking at the ones who have no one. My Little Guy had to leave me on Sept 10 so it is not so long ago but he will not be back and I can't change that fact but I can consider giving another a home. If our babies stayed as long as we wanted, there would never be more adoptions just unwanted babies who want to love someone and want someone to hold them and love them. You said "I don't know if I could ever love another cat like I did Chris Craft." The answer is: you won't. What will happen is you will love another in a different way as they will be a different soul and while all cats do some things the same, each personality will make its own mark on us. If you look in the New Beginnings Section..you will see lots of pictures that makes one smile..of the lucky ones who found a new home and are helping to heal the heartache of losing one's special friend. A friend who will never ever be replaced but can share a place in our hearts with their new brothers and/or sisters who we may give a home to when we are ready. Take Care

you are all so comforting. I worry about my husband who found Chris Craft. He can't tell me exactly what he saw, says it's too horrible. So I can't imagine. I don't want to bring the subject up (subject of the finding Chris Craft, not the subject of his life with us) He's cries a lot and loud, and I've cried alot too and we've been crying at different times, so it's been like "taking turns". I've been getting comfort in talking to friends, and here! I've called a bunch of friends in tears and that helps. I am trying to dwell on good thoughts, like Chris Craft sleeping and purring by my head. I loved him the most as an older cat.
He was losing weight and the vet was concerned about borderline thyroid and liver disease (he was still in the "safe" zone) ...but he wasn't suffering. However, it may have been not long for his health to go downhill. I only wish it hadn't happened so horrible for my husband, and I only wish I could have said goodbye.
We probably will get another cat some day and you are right about being able to love again in a different way I'm sure. I hope that a cat will "find" us, or a situation will come alone where we will being providing a needed home for someone. I'd be willing to adopt an old cat, or a sick one if I knew it needed us.
I bought a photo album and made copies of photos but haven't been able to actually put them in yet. Of course I break down just looking at them.
Thank you for the comforting words.

I really felt for you when I read your post, I can't imagine the shock you both must feel. I am very sorry...........I know waht you mean about not wanting to go home. We lost our 18 year old cat one year ago Tuesday. He was our first baby, as I was 7 months pregnant at the time. I truly know waht you are going through about not wanting to be home.....we both cried for a month straight and ended up going on a weekend trip over New Year's to try to change our environment.

We didn't have the tragic ending you did though with an accident. In that sense I fell your pain even deeper. It angers me that someone would leave Chris Craft in a dumpster......unbelieveable!! and your poor husband, I can't imagine the trauma he must be experiencing.

I do offer some hope for you. Christmas will be very difficult, you may want to consider going out of town. The first 3-4 months are extreme grief, but it does get better. I promise you you won't feel this way forever although it may seem that way today.

I also know waht you mean about your parents dying but having more feelings about this tragic accident with your cat. I loved my grandma very much but when she died I cried for about two weeks and was able to move on rather quickly. With Misty dying this time last year I cried until the end of May.

And like you I didn;t want to be home everything reminded me of him. I think it is because our pets were part of our immediate household and the unconditional love given in return is priceless.

Please hang in there and know that you aren't alone. This board can be agreat resource over the next several months.

I hope this helps know that you won't be in this extreme pain forever. Misty and I were inseparable and by June I was starting to head uphill with the grief. Both my husband and I have cried here and there over the last six months, but sometiems a month goes by without any pain.

We feel Misty sent us our new cat, magic, who showed up this summer on our back porch and needed a home. We also know Misty is protecting our daughter from above. I can tell you that having magic has helped us tremendously, so maybe a new furry friend in the future may help. Not that anyone can repalce Chris Craft, but you and your husband sound like such great parents another animal could highly benefit from such a loving home.

Peace and I'll be thinking of you. Please keep us updated on how you are doing.

Misty's Mama

My heart goes out to you and your husband. It is so awful to have to experience a trauma like that. He needs to talk about it, perhaps come here and post or find a pet loss group in your area to go to. He CANNOT carry that burden with him, it will eat at him and he MUST get it out. I am so sorry your wonderful petchild had to go in such a way. There is nothing that anyone can say that will truly take the hurt away from this type of loss, but know this: You are surrounded here by those who have lost their furry loved ones, whatever way they left us. We are here to hug you and help you in anyway that we possibly can to move through the grief and help you to come to some peace.

It is the most callous act, anyone can do, what was done to your beloved Chris Craft. I believe Karma will succeed in taking care of whoever did this. No one can do such things here and not pay with their karma.

Know that your Chris Craft is not in pain anymore, he is across the Rainbow Bridge with the rest of our beloved pet children and is awaiting the day you and your husband will come to him. He is patient and can wait. He knew great love here on earth and that is forever. He had a wonderful long life filled with love and peace and comfort with you and your husband and that love cannot be taken or lost, EVER!

Make sure you take care of yourselves right now, eat right, get your rest, it is so important to take care of your physical being. You need your strength. I really believe your husband needs to talk to someone about this trauma. he experienced a horrendous thing and it does not *just go away*. It is important that he work through his feelings of anger, anguish, grief and sense of complete shock. He had the worst of it, by finding Chris Craft and he will have to work through that. The grief will be with you both and you will move through it's stages and come to a sense of peace someday in the future. But now, just let your feelings flow and do not let the guilt monster even knock at your door. This was out of your hands. You truly loved your furbaby and gave him everything he needed here on earth. It is now God and St. Francis who will watch over your beloved Chris Craft. He is in loving hands and free from the pain now.

Susan

Thank you Susan for your kind words. Thank you everyone! I've been reading some other posts and I must say it's weirdly comforting to know I am not alone in hurting.
We'll never know who exactly put Chris Craft in a dumpster. He must have crossed under a fence to a street that runs perpendicular to ours, and there are no houses on it. Just little businesses that were closed on a late Sat night or Sunday morning. So I only hope that it was a humane act of removing him from the street and not being able to go to a house and ask if they knew the cat. I guess I want to think the best. But it was still a horrible way to find our pet.
And I do realize that if my husband never found him, we'd still be wondering where he was.......that would be worse.
I don't feel guilty about Chris Craft being an outside cat. He started out inside and got out one day, 18 years ago, and sat in the grass and literally smiled into the sun. He loved outside. And he slept in the same little area every day. And you could see him smiling. He was loved by the neighbors. Even other pets loved him. Do you know what I mean? I could tell when even dogs liked Chris Craft.
I am still in the early "stages" of grief, and the depression part is heavy. I'd give anything to have him back, but I know that's impossible.

Chris Craft's mom

Thank you Joanne,
Your comment about your clothes actually made me smile. I have a pair a black pants with Chris Craft's beautiful gray hair all over them and I don't think I'll be washing them any time soon.
I am so sorry about your experience and your vet. I was lucky to have had a good vet. But when I called to tell her about Chris Craft the office said she would out until mid January. I got angry! (completely unjustified! ) But I know she has been a good vet. Again I'm so sorry about your cat's vet.
I believe what you are saying about them teaching us. Whenever my husband and I would have any kind of disagreement over the years, Chris Craft would come up to us as if to say "don't argue. you love each other. Life is short. " and then through his loud purring we'd actually forget what the argument was.
Thank you for your nice words!
Cindy, Chris Craft's mom

Hi,
I hope with each day you heal a little more. I lost my baby in August and I know how hard it is to cope with a pet's sudden death, no matter how old they are. I still have my cat's collar - can't bear to part with it, mainly because it still smells of Squeaky. I have some fur from her bed and other 'bits and pieces.' Don't rush to tidy your baby's things away, the time will come and it will feel right. It's a lovely idea to put photos together in an album, you'll love looking at them. Soon you will be able to smile at the memories (even though the tears may still fall) x

I was just driving a back from work and decided to listen to quiet music, as opposed to upbeat music, and cried so hard I could hardly see. Maybe that doesn't work for me.
I can at least tell people now without breaking down.I will definitely keep Chris Craft's things around. So far they have been comforting. I did finally move his food dish. But not anything else.

Hi Cindy,
I wanted to express how sorry I am for losing your baby and then finding him. It is good to have gotten closure so that you are not full of questions but it is so hard. Today I put on a music station that plays only holiday music and I found that I had to change it IMMEDIATELY. I understand how music can affect emotions.

I think that it is healthy for you to keep Chris Craft's things around. Only you know yourself and you know how to heal. I am here for you and I am wishing you and your husband peace and warm thoughts. It's so painful.

Last night we were opening the mail, and opened a letter from the clinic that did the private cremation . In it was a rainbow colored page with the Rainbow Bridge poem written and at the bottom was an ink print of 2 of Chris Craft's paws Talk about losing it. It was a very sweet thing for them to do.
We are having a little memorial "service" this Friday evening with neighbors who knew and loved Chris Craft. Has anyone had one of these? We're not sure what to do. I don't know if my husband or I can keep it together to talk. I have been talking a lot more to people and can get through conversations with out crying. He holds it in and then breaks apart. And we break down, so what.....??

I figured out to post Chris Craft's picture. I hope it worked. To Toonie, I reread your post and I thank you again.....Chris Craft did live 19 years of a very interesting life. He sailed, he caught fish and mice, he even walked on my computer keyboard and I sent his "messages" via e mail.
To everyone so far, thank you helping me hang in here. With Christmas coming, I'd like to be happy but the sadness is still mighty heavy. Chris Craft loved Christmas dinner. He loved real turkey, and I only cook it once a year!
So I hope we can get though this season .

WoW Cfholden, a 19yr old, that's amazing within itself. From what I see on this board 19yrs old is the exception, not the rule. You were so blessed to have Chris Craft for so long.

I'm so sorry for his violent passing, please know that all of us here know what you are going through. I can't say this enough, this is the best place on the web to come to when you are hurting over the loss of a companion animal.

Some days will be good, others bad. You will get through it though, and we are all here to help in the process.

Take Care

I am so sorry to hear about your loss

I cannot imagine someone being so thoughtless as to toss an animal into the dumpster, but i suppose there are those sorts of people in the world. You are right in that it may be better that you know your beloved pets fate. I had several cats that got lost and i always wondered what happened to them, although i hoped they found good homes and not the alternative.

Having just lost my own cat on monday, i know how you are feeling...the feeling of loss is so strong. I found i had to remove her belongings from plain sight, as another person mentioned. I cleaned and put away her litter box, favorite scratching post/sleeping place, food dishes, and washed her blanket from a window she loved to sit in. It has helped in a way, although i now look at those places and seeing them empty is almost just as much of a reminder as having them there.


I'm sure we are going through similar things at the moment...a thought of my precious nicki will pass through my mind and i'll burst into tears regardless of where i am. I have had several dreams since monday that she was still alive, and rejoyced in the dream, only to wake up and have reality hit me.


Try to focus on the happy times you shared with your pet. You had Chris Craft for a long time and were loving companions for him. I'm sure you have many wonderful memories of your time together. It may still hurt to look at the pictures you have of him (i tried to look at pictures last night and i couldn't deal with it yet) but eventually these will be treasured mementos. Death is terribly hard to deal with but i find that with the passing of a loved one i always feel that life is precious and we must enjoy every moment we have with those we care about.

Your comment about Chris Craft walking across your keyboard and sending messages made me smile....my Nicki would do that as well. SHe got very jealous of me staring at the computer screen for so long and not paying attention to her! Actually that is one of the times i miss her the most, she used to sit on my lap while i typed, but i also feel close to her when i am doing so...like she could come bounding into my room at any time and jump up on my lap like she used to.


****hugs****

Thank you for your kind thoughts.
The latest most difficult thing is seeing ads on TV for either cat food, or holiday stuff, featuring a cat. And walking past the pet food aisle at the grocery store.
I know 19 years is a long time, and although Chris Craft was relatively healthy, he could have become sick and suffered and I am thankful he didn't suffer. At 19, every day was a blessing even though he was healthy. I am glad I spent as much time as I did with him.
I just miss him so much now. I hate that he's not here. And I am actually angry at God for allowing this to happen this way! A dumpster is so disrespectful. Every time I think of it, which is still way too often, I get weak and feel sick.
I've handled death before, but this dumpster business and sudden shock is really hard.
I am looking forward to "acceptance" and enjoying the memories. But I'm not there yet.

I love the picture you found to post of Chris Craft. I see the "dumpster" is hitting you really hard and I can understand that. There is another side to that I can think of that might help or not but if this thought is eating away at you....I will mention my thought..

While this does seem thoughtless and horrible and believe me, the whole situation was horrible, I have seen animals dead in the road and the longer they remain there the more cars that go by. I would appreciate it if my baby was not alive, if someone would have removed her from the path of other cars. I don't know who did that or if the one who did it actually stopped and got out of the car and saw no hope but wanted to preserve Chris Craft's dignity from other cars.

I don't know if this helps you but it is something I thought of when you first told your story. I wouldn't want my baby left lying there even if there was no hope and she was past pain and suffering.

No one knows what really happened but I hope you can get the horrible feeling about the dumpster out of your mind......you don't need to be more upset than you already are. I am so sorry for whatever your husband saw. It will take time for that to fade from his mind..unfortunately it can't be erased. I am sure he will never forget it but hopefully the times he remembers will be less and less.

Again, I am so sorry your baby had this happen. One of life's cruel actions.

Thank you again for your thoughts.
I do understand what you are saying about someone not leaving Chris Craft in the road. And I definitely understand the horror of not knowing what had happened, or of him getting hit multiple times.
Ironically, it is normally a quiet street. But some cars careen around the corner not slowing down.
I am still torn up at the thought of my Husband finding him. And having to hold him, knowing he was dead. I was in bed waiting for him to bring Chris Craft home! Not this new news. My last sight was Chris Craft's furry back, in a bag in the back of the van.
We got the ashes last night. I must say they do a very respectful job. We put the little box on Chris Craft's bed for now. Eventually we'll have to find a place.
Poor little guy. We called him our little buddy. and he did love life.

When you mentioned your last sight....when you mentioned getting his ashes....one thought occurred to me..I hope you use it.



My baby is home now.



you know where he is and nothing can ever hurt him again. He is safe and at peace............and HOME!

Take Care.

LoveThem-
Yes! That's what I felt. Now, the winter will not exacerbate his arthritis and make him cold. He is home and safe, finally! He can rest now.

we had a little "service" for Chis Craft last night at the grassy spot where he spent most of his time sleeping in the sun, or in the shade under this deck in the hot summer. I made a scrap book finally and it helped. I went through 19 years of photos. What a trip through time. We served beer, fresca and chedder cheese cut up into little pieces (Chris Craft's favorite treat)
People came and brought flowers. I made a memorial sign. We shared memories. Even the mayor of my town came! (she is a major cat person and a friend..) still, I can't believe how much I miss Chris Craft. Almost 2 decades he's been with me and my husband. Our whole marriage so far!
I hope Chris Craft knew how much I loved him. I moved my office/work shop in 2003. My old office was right next to where I live and Chris Craft could be with me all day. But the building was old and leaked bad and when I was offered a newer better space for less rent I took it. But It is over 3 blocks away and involves a crossing a busy street. Too far to have let Chris Craft venture back and forth. Now I feel guilty for moving!!
Since 2003, I would spend more time with him in the morning before I left and more time in the evening but I miss those hours during the day. My husband works in another building next to where we live (honestly! We have no commute!) and Chris Craft spent a lot of daytime with him in the past couple of years. Either way, he was with one of us a lot of the time.

Your story of Chris Craft is very sad. His picture is beautiful. Your memorial service sounds like it was comforting. I wish you well in your recovery.

sincere sympathy,
annie's mommy

Hi Annie's mommie,
Thank you. Are you doing ok? I am so very sorry for your recent loss too. I now know how it feels. One day I'll be one of the one's with all the beautiful comforting words to share. We only had Chris Craft. People ask me if we are getting another cat. I don't know. I may need one to love but right now is not the time.

CFHolden,

I have been trying to provide comforting words as I feel a deep compassion for all who post here who have their losses, but my wound is quite recent and very deep. I really don't feel very well now, thank you though. Your answer in itself is comforting. I have 2 surviving cats who I love and who need me, but My Annie was my heart. I will not be getting any others. I cannot take this loss. I wish you the best.

annie's mommy