I know I'm a strong woman, but enough already!!
Sixteen months ago my precious soulmate kitty Mink was killed by a car.
After months of depression and grief, I got up again.
Nearly seven months ago my father died.
Exhausted after two years of caregiving, I got up again.
Three and a half months ago his precious kitty Twitchit died.
Grieving a new level of aloneness I hadn't yet felt, I got up again.
Three days ago I totalled my car.
After feeling so emotionally beaten up for so long, this physical battering is a final straw. How much more of this tide of loss am I going to have to deal with?
I think what makes this feel like "yet another wave" is the timing. Dad died, then 96 days later Twitch died, then 106 days later I wrecked my car. You can bet I'm going to be especially wary and cautious at the end of January......
I'm not badly hurt, but enough neck and back sprain to open a PIP claim and set up a cot at my chiropractor's. I'd taken collision off my aging car, so i just have to eat the loss. I was just getting ready to sell the car. I'm stiff, sore, achy, and feeling just plain beaten up -- again. ~Kimbersigh
Full Version: Yet Another Blow
Dear Kimberly, #1 THANK GOODNESS YOU MADE IT THROUGH!
I was struck
-by a thought- that perhaps all this means is that finally, not with a whimper but a bang, a total bang for your car 
, the cycle has been closed. Your soulmate was killled by a car and finally your car was 'killed'. Look at it this way instead of being apprehensive for the next thing, there won't be a next thing. Last year, in September my 16yr old son totalled our car and we knew as soon as we saw the wreck that it was a miracle that he got out alive. Odd in the crushed car, a little "lucky " white cat chinese porcelain bank he had with him was also in one piece. 
Then not a month later when I had to put Felix to sleep and then just another 3 weeks later my Yukon soulmate I always felt that this had been a price to be paid for the first miracle, silly but life sometimes feels that way. I have grieved as I would have grieved for my sons, I still do, like I would for my children. I did feel like misfortune was targetting me
after I had lost my cats and in a conversation last spring with E"M" and Furkidlets, they suggested sprinkling black salt around myself, I never did get the black salt but I did put table salt around me in a sort of want to chase the bad guys way!. Perhaps in this big mysterious life we are into there are trades and exchanges we don't know about. Perhaps not. Whatever, you got out of this one too that is the important thing now think positive, this is all behind you now. 
I was struck
-by a thought- that perhaps all this means is that finally, not with a whimper but a bang, a total bang for your car , the cycle has been closed. Your soulmate was killled by a car and finally your car was 'killed'. Look at it this way instead of being apprehensive for the next thing, there won't be a next thing. Last year, in September my 16yr old son totalled our car and we knew as soon as we saw the wreck that it was a miracle that he got out alive. Odd in the crushed car, a little "lucky " white cat chinese porcelain bank he had with him was also in one piece. Then not a month later when I had to put Felix to sleep and then just another 3 weeks later my Yukon soulmate I always felt that this had been a price to be paid for the first miracle, silly but life sometimes feels that way. I have grieved as I would have grieved for my sons, I still do, like I would for my children. I did feel like misfortune was targetting meafter I had lost my cats and in a conversation last spring with E"M" and Furkidlets, they suggested sprinkling black salt around myself, I never did get the black salt but I did put table salt around me in a sort of want to chase the bad guys way!.
Perhaps in this big mysterious life we are into there are trades and exchanges we don't know about. Perhaps not. Whatever, you got out of this one too that is the important thing now think positive, this is all behind you now.
Oh, DEAR!, Kimberly! 
I, too, am glad that you're basically 'okay' (at least physically) after this accident!.....which brings me right to my first point, in that I'm one of those who don't believe in 'accidents' or 'coincidence' any more. While this event may, indeed, also be some sort of 'symbolic' event as Toonie suggested (like matching your 'outer' world to your inner one, as you'd said yourself, or bringing in more of the 'new'), I also think it may also, or just, have to do with all that stress you've been under. When we're grieving, it's not uncommon to become rather 'spacey' in some, or even many, ways, and often this can lead to 'accidents', whether minor or more serious, such as yours. I'm not saying this was necessarily your fault but just that our 'spaciness' can extend outwards into creating circu*mstances where we end up with injury to ourselves. In other words, those times when we're less able to feel alert and aware, are also, unfortunately, the ones where we need to be more vigilant, for our own safety. It's a catch-22. So while we don't mean to get in accidents, many of us do, and in a higher proportion than when we're more on top of our game, so to speak. Just another perspective to consider.
Another more hopeful one is that just perhaps, this event might end up better, somehow, than what you'd originally planned, although this may not become evident in the short-term. Maybe you would have ended up really frustrated that no one seemed to want to give you the price you were asking for your vehicle, or something like that. Maybe you'll end up getting JUST the right vehicle to replace this one in a series of events that you would have missed out on, had you not been forced into this position earlier. I mention this one because that's what happened to me after having my car totalled, too, a few years ago. My replacement car is WAAAAYYYY better than the one I had (and loved at the time, too) and though it cost us financially (and I had to increase my chiro. visits, too, for quite a time), I MUCH prefer my present car, so it ended up being not so bad, after all. Plus, I survived a head-on collision, which changed some inner perceptions a bit as well....not a bad thing, either. It was one of those wake-up calls for me.
I won't try and talk you out of the superst*itious number thing, because I've thought that way at times, too, and after loss, thoughts like that are very, very common. But I will say that I try not to subscribe to them as best I can. And as for the salt thing....to clarify, I only used salt once in a ritualistic, symbolic way, after Sabin passed (to help, not hinder), but I really don't subscribe to those fear-based rituals. They only end up creating MORE fear, so I think they're just trickery that keep us locked in fear, and that's not helpful to anybody.
I'm glad, though, that you've got a chiro. to go to since it's wise to nip those spinal traumas in the bud ASAP. I have a doc who uses the "Activator"™ method, so no wrenching/jerking or even undressing! In and out in 5 minutes or less - it's great!
Anyway, I hope you can keep a broader perspective on this new, trying event. And I'm awfully glad you've come out of it in one piece, at least! Here's to a rapid healing, both inside and out!
Oh, and btw, as an aside, every single time I see your avatar, I can't help but be reminded (in a good way) of my own, two kids....one black, one grey, both short-haired, all curled up together......
I, too, am glad that you're basically 'okay' (at least physically) after this accident!.....which brings me right to my first point, in that I'm one of those who don't believe in 'accidents' or 'coincidence' any more. While this event may, indeed, also be some sort of 'symbolic' event as Toonie suggested (like matching your 'outer' world to your inner one, as you'd said yourself, or bringing in more of the 'new'), I also think it may also, or just, have to do with all that stress you've been under. When we're grieving, it's not uncommon to become rather 'spacey' in some, or even many, ways, and often this can lead to 'accidents', whether minor or more serious, such as yours. I'm not saying this was necessarily your fault but just that our 'spaciness' can extend outwards into creating circu*mstances where we end up with injury to ourselves. In other words, those times when we're less able to feel alert and aware, are also, unfortunately, the ones where we need to be more vigilant, for our own safety. It's a catch-22. So while we don't mean to get in accidents, many of us do, and in a higher proportion than when we're more on top of our game, so to speak. Just another perspective to consider.
Another more hopeful one is that just perhaps, this event might end up better, somehow, than what you'd originally planned, although this may not become evident in the short-term. Maybe you would have ended up really frustrated that no one seemed to want to give you the price you were asking for your vehicle, or something like that. Maybe you'll end up getting JUST the right vehicle to replace this one in a series of events that you would have missed out on, had you not been forced into this position earlier. I mention this one because that's what happened to me after having my car totalled, too, a few years ago. My replacement car is WAAAAYYYY better than the one I had (and loved at the time, too) and though it cost us financially (and I had to increase my chiro. visits, too, for quite a time), I MUCH prefer my present car, so it ended up being not so bad, after all. Plus, I survived a head-on collision, which changed some inner perceptions a bit as well....not a bad thing, either. It was one of those wake-up calls for me.
I won't try and talk you out of the superst*itious number thing, because I've thought that way at times, too, and after loss, thoughts like that are very, very common. But I will say that I try not to subscribe to them as best I can. And as for the salt thing....to clarify, I only used salt once in a ritualistic, symbolic way, after Sabin passed (to help, not hinder), but I really don't subscribe to those fear-based rituals. They only end up creating MORE fear, so I think they're just trickery that keep us locked in fear, and that's not helpful to anybody.
I'm glad, though, that you've got a chiro. to go to since it's wise to nip those spinal traumas in the bud ASAP. I have a doc who uses the "Activator"™ method, so no wrenching/jerking or even undressing! In and out in 5 minutes or less - it's great!
Anyway, I hope you can keep a broader perspective on this new, trying event. And I'm awfully glad you've come out of it in one piece, at least! Here's to a rapid healing, both inside and out!
Oh, and btw, as an aside, every single time I see your avatar, I can't help but be reminded (in a good way) of my own, two kids....one black, one grey, both short-haired, all curled up together......
kimberlyanother traumatic experience
i am so sorry,
you will get back all the love you have given, ( maybe someone else, i don`t know )
all the care of your beloved ones,
the last years i had quite a few losses, in my human family, and in my cats family,
troubles at the job, with health, and so on
i am holding my head deeper, and down to the ground
awaiting the next slap, well, I do know, that is not o.k.
i am trying to convince me, i don´t deserve that, i can do better
so, don`t wait for something bad anymore
we must say good bye to the members of our families sometime,
no way out
to love someone new again
i know, that is so hard for me, i wish you all the best
sincerely, eva
Furkidlets` Mom....
thanks for sharing the touching photo of your two cats cuddling
i love it
i can feel the happyness, the love, the satisfaction,
eva
thanks for sharing the touching photo of your two cats cuddling
i love it
i can feel the happyness, the love, the satisfaction,
eva
QUOTE (toonie @ Oct 20 2007, 01:52 AM)
I was struck -by a thought- that perhaps all this means is that finally, not with a whimper but a bang, a total bang for your car , the cycle has been closed. Your soulmate was killed by a car and finally your car was 'killed'. Look at it this way instead of being apprehensive for the next thing, there won't be a next thing.
-by a thought- that perhaps all this means is that finally, not with a whimper but a bang, a total bang for your car , the cycle has been closed. Your soulmate was killed by a car and finally your car was 'killed'. Look at it this way instead of being apprehensive for the next thing, there won't be a next thing.Ooo, I like that way of looking at it. Thanks for the reframe.
I've been passively shopping for a car for the last several months. In fact, I'd just stopped at my bank to ask about a car loan, and it was as I was leaving the bank and pulling into traffic that I destroyed my car. Honestly, I'd have been willing to step up the pace without THIS...
I'll be able to look at the larger meaning of it all in a bit, but right now my shoulder blades BURN and my back and neck fatigues after just a short while of sitting up or standing. I've been to the chiropractor several times already and have a massage scheduled for tomorrow. I WILL be okay, but right now I'm just feeling banged up and sore and a bit sad. I know I'll feel better when my appet*ite returns. ~Kimberslammed
QUOTE (Furkidlets' Mom @ Oct 20 2007, 08:50 AM)
every single time I see your avatar, I can't help but be reminded (in a good way) of my own, two kids....one black, one grey, both short-haired, all curled up together...
OH MY GOODNESS YES!! They do look SO much like Mink and Willow. In color yes, but even more so in their closeness. Two halves of a whole. Such a beautiful bond. Thanks for sharing that photo with me.
Fortunately Willow and Rohan are starting to snuggle quite a bit, so I think they'll develop a loving bond too. ~Kimberly
Well, you'll have to be ready with that camera, then! (once it won't hurt to hold it, that is) I never took anywhere near enough pics of my kidlets cuddled up, and yet they constantly napped like this, even when they were on my lap. Somehow I had this stupid idea that I'd never forget all the myriad ways of their sprawling on each other, yet now, I'd give anything to be able to be reminded in a more substantial way via more actual photos. 
"Two halves of a whole"......exactly....I always marveled at how they curled up together looking so much like the Yin and Yang symbol, and the funny thing was that according to Chinese Medicine characteristics, Nissa was more Yin, and Sabin was more Yang, so it all fit so beautifully. They really did balance each other out, even personality-wise.
I also should have had my H take a ton of pics of the three of us all curled up together. As part of our power-of-3 team, this Mom was also always welcome to join in the mutual grooming sessions (I'd just use my nose as if it was a cat tongue
and usually was the lucky beneficiary of a good grooming, too!)****sigh**** I always wished I could be as tiny as them, so I could REALLY tuck myself right into that cozy, little love circle! Is there anything as beautiful and relaxing as the sight of cats snoozing like this? Hey, maybe you should try this with Rohan and Willow?!! 
I sure hope your aches and pains start to resolve very soon, Kimberly. I know how debilitating that constant pain is, and it's one of those kinds of conditions that people don't often feel sympathy for, cuz it's not visible, but they don't realize just how much it wears on you and impacts your days and nights as well as your mental/emotional state. I hope the massage helps, too. I'm going to be going for some cranial sacral treatment soon, as we won a one-hour session as part of a draw a few months ago, and I sure could use some of it now. It's supposed to be really good for neck/back problems. And you're right - when you're in such pain, the last thing you want to be doing is being philosophical. Sorry for going on so about the bigger pictures and all. That can all be pondered later, after you're feeling more physically able.
So instead, sending thoughts of warming, relaxing, healing energy your way....as well as for that purrrfect replacement vehicle to end up right on your doorstep, w/o even having to go out and find it!
P.S. I just realized how relatively near you live to me.....Washington State, and I'm in Alberta, about a day and a half drive, depending on how far west (and south) you are. Huh! How 'bout that?
"Two halves of a whole"......exactly....I always marveled at how they curled up together looking so much like the Yin and Yang symbol, and the funny thing was that according to Chinese Medicine characteristics, Nissa was more Yin, and Sabin was more Yang, so it all fit so beautifully. They really did balance each other out, even personality-wise. I also should have had my H take a ton of pics of the three of us all curled up together. As part of our power-of-3 team, this Mom was also always welcome to join in the mutual grooming sessions (I'd just use my nose as if it was a cat tongue
and usually was the lucky beneficiary of a good grooming, too!)****sigh**** I always wished I could be as tiny as them, so I could REALLY tuck myself right into that cozy, little love circle! Is there anything as beautiful and relaxing as the sight of cats snoozing like this? Hey, maybe you should try this with Rohan and Willow?!! I sure hope your aches and pains start to resolve very soon, Kimberly. I know how debilitating that constant pain is, and it's one of those kinds of conditions that people don't often feel sympathy for, cuz it's not visible, but they don't realize just how much it wears on you and impacts your days and nights as well as your mental/emotional state. I hope the massage helps, too. I'm going to be going for some cranial sacral treatment soon, as we won a one-hour session as part of a draw a few months ago, and I sure could use some of it now. It's supposed to be really good for neck/back problems. And you're right - when you're in such pain, the last thing you want to be doing is being philosophical. Sorry for going on so about the bigger pictures and all. That can all be pondered later, after you're feeling more physically able.
So instead, sending thoughts of warming, relaxing, healing energy your way....as well as for that purrrfect replacement vehicle to end up right on your doorstep, w/o even having to go out and find it!
P.S. I just realized how relatively near you live to me.....Washington State, and I'm in Alberta, about a day and a half drive, depending on how far west (and south) you are. Huh! How 'bout that?
Ow!
I think we're somewhat alike.... walking gently on the planet, behaving a certain way, causing no harm - we take it VERY personally when the planets align and send us dreadful blows...
(Accupressure helped me tremendously, chiropractic too)
A seies of plat*itudes come to mind but what really comes to mind is that sometimes life just doesn't seem to make sense .
I'm so sorry for all you've been through...
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger? About fifteen years ago, at the end of in a similar series for me - ending in a cornfield, yes - a cornfield, after a plane crash, I realized something.
I realized that once the flames are doused and the dust settles, we are incredibly strong and the sun will break through the clouds, and the strangers standing close will feel like friends.
That's what you have to look forward to, the sun, and the circle of love and friends ....Here's hoping tomorrow is a brighter day.
Take Good Care, Sharon
I think we're somewhat alike.... walking gently on the planet, behaving a certain way, causing no harm - we take it VERY personally when the planets align and send us dreadful blows...
(Accupressure helped me tremendously, chiropractic too)
A seies of plat*itudes come to mind but what really comes to mind is that sometimes life just doesn't seem to make sense .
I'm so sorry for all you've been through...
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger? About fifteen years ago, at the end of in a similar series for me - ending in a cornfield, yes - a cornfield, after a plane crash, I realized something.
I realized that once the flames are doused and the dust settles, we are incredibly strong and the sun will break through the clouds, and the strangers standing close will feel like friends.
That's what you have to look forward to, the sun, and the circle of love and friends ....Here's hoping tomorrow is a brighter day.
Take Good Care, Sharon
QUOTE
I realized that once the flames are doused and the dust settles, we are incredibly strong and the sun will break through the clouds, and the strangers standing close will feel like friends.
QUOTE
That's what you have to look forward to, the sun, and the circle of love and friends ....Here's hoping tomorrow is a brighter day.
Sharon this was absolutely wonderful. More power to all of you with good intentions and kind ways!
and Furkidlet's Mom: that picture says it all. How you must miss them.
Oh, gosh, Kimberlucky,
What a blessing you weren't hurt seriously! And it occurs to me that life is really stranger than fiction - stopping in to ask about a car loan and then pulling out and having your car totalled. What utter irony, it would never be believed if it hadn't happened.
Philosophically, I don't know what to tell you. So many losses of a personal nature, and now this. I can understand how you'd get to where you're feeling "What next?! I can't take this anymore, too much too soon!!" It is too much, and always too soon. I could repeat that oft-quoted phrase that God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. (I tell my own mom that a lot, actually.) But I do try to look for the silver lining, I'm afraid. Who knows but what the next time you got on the freeway your car broke down and you got really clobbered? Maybe it was just time for you to get a new car. You have an opportunity now to shop for the perfect vehicle for you and the kitties, if they travel with you. And this might be the best time to buy - when the prices are lower for last year's models.
I don't mean to minimize the emotional trauma this has caused. There is that aspect of the straw that broke the camel's back. But having "met" you in that photo of you recently, I feel that you're a creative, intuitive person, and when the shock of this loss recedes a bit, you have a chance to build from this experience. I just can't tell you how relieved I personally am that you weren't injured or worse in this accident - now that would be a loss that would be too, too much. I don't even want to think about it. I'm so sorry this has happened, but inside I believe you are strong enough, can see the irony, and appreciate the fact that this wasn't worse, resulting in serious injury. Take your opportunity to rest and recuperate by cuddling under an afghan with the kitties, in front of the fireplace, reflecting on your life, and listening to the outside sounds that could have been silenced forever were this experience more serious. I'd send you my chicken noodle soup if I could - it can heal anything - but as it is, you'll have to have cyber-soup. You take care, seriously, now, and remember we're always here for you - Barb
What a blessing you weren't hurt seriously! And it occurs to me that life is really stranger than fiction - stopping in to ask about a car loan and then pulling out and having your car totalled. What utter irony, it would never be believed if it hadn't happened.
Philosophically, I don't know what to tell you. So many losses of a personal nature, and now this. I can understand how you'd get to where you're feeling "What next?! I can't take this anymore, too much too soon!!" It is too much, and always too soon. I could repeat that oft-quoted phrase that God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. (I tell my own mom that a lot, actually.) But I do try to look for the silver lining, I'm afraid. Who knows but what the next time you got on the freeway your car broke down and you got really clobbered? Maybe it was just time for you to get a new car. You have an opportunity now to shop for the perfect vehicle for you and the kitties, if they travel with you. And this might be the best time to buy - when the prices are lower for last year's models.
I don't mean to minimize the emotional trauma this has caused. There is that aspect of the straw that broke the camel's back. But having "met" you in that photo of you recently, I feel that you're a creative, intuitive person, and when the shock of this loss recedes a bit, you have a chance to build from this experience. I just can't tell you how relieved I personally am that you weren't injured or worse in this accident - now that would be a loss that would be too, too much. I don't even want to think about it. I'm so sorry this has happened, but inside I believe you are strong enough, can see the irony, and appreciate the fact that this wasn't worse, resulting in serious injury. Take your opportunity to rest and recuperate by cuddling under an afghan with the kitties, in front of the fireplace, reflecting on your life, and listening to the outside sounds that could have been silenced forever were this experience more serious. I'd send you my chicken noodle soup if I could - it can heal anything - but as it is, you'll have to have cyber-soup. You take care, seriously, now, and remember we're always here for you - Barb
I appreciate everybody's support and sympathy, thank you. I can see it both ways: yes I could have been hurt SO much worse. But I'm also realizing I AM hurt and I can't brush this off like nothing happened. I have to go back to work tomorrow, and I'm really leery. It happened Tuesday --- Wed. and Thurs. I made it through work out of sheer shock. Now the shock has worn off, and the tightness between my shoulder blades BURNS incessantly. I'm icing it, going to the chiropractor, and I have a massage today. My neck and upper back fatigues so quickly that I can sit up only so long, then I have to lie down or recline where my head is supported. (Thank god for laptop computers, yes?)
When I say I "have to" go back to work, I DO understand I'm making a choice here. But I'm self-employed. If I don't go, I don't get paid. I'm just coming off the slow time of year, and my cash flow is so poor right now that if I don't work this week I'll have to pull on savings to pay bills, which galls me. I see patients, many of whom don't have phones for me to call and cancel. So it gets really messy if I call in sick.
Soooo, for today: ice, ibuprofen, chiropractic, massage, rest, and hot tub.
OH! Hey! I just remembered that the office next door has a couch. If I have a no-show tomorrow then I can go lie down and rest my neck and back muscles. Good thing.... ~Kimberachin'
When I say I "have to" go back to work, I DO understand I'm making a choice here. But I'm self-employed. If I don't go, I don't get paid. I'm just coming off the slow time of year, and my cash flow is so poor right now that if I don't work this week I'll have to pull on savings to pay bills, which galls me. I see patients, many of whom don't have phones for me to call and cancel. So it gets really messy if I call in sick.
Soooo, for today: ice, ibuprofen, chiropractic, massage, rest, and hot tub.
OH! Hey! I just remembered that the office next door has a couch. If I have a no-show tomorrow then I can go lie down and rest my neck and back muscles. Good thing.... ~Kimberachin'
Kimberhope,
I was just thinking that this newer form of therapy might help you with your trauma. It's called SRT and is based on neural passages in the body, that also affect emotional responses to trauma. From what one psychologist who uses it told me, it can be useful for BOTH physical trauma (especially from accidents) and emotional trauma, no matter how old or new. Here's a link that describes it in more detail. (and the animals they're referencing at the bottom are wild animals, not domesticated ones, who apparently show the same kinds of reactions to trauma as we do.....from living with us) Certainly, when the spine is involved, one can be certain that neural passages have been affected adversely. Just a option you might consider.
Self Regulation Therapy
I was just thinking that this newer form of therapy might help you with your trauma. It's called SRT and is based on neural passages in the body, that also affect emotional responses to trauma. From what one psychologist who uses it told me, it can be useful for BOTH physical trauma (especially from accidents) and emotional trauma, no matter how old or new. Here's a link that describes it in more detail. (and the animals they're referencing at the bottom are wild animals, not domesticated ones, who apparently show the same kinds of reactions to trauma as we do.....from living with us) Certainly, when the spine is involved, one can be certain that neural passages have been affected adversely. Just a option you might consider.
Self Regulation Therapy
Hi again Kimber,
I'm so sorry you're in such pain, not just emotional but physical as well. I understand now that it is hard to be philosophical about all this when you're hurting physically, adding insult to injury, cause you've had so many traumas recently. After this collision, were you checked out physically at the hospital, and did they do an MRI or CT scan? When I hear about back or neck pain, as a former nurse - even though I was an OB nurse, which has no bearing on your situation - I always think of neuro issues. I worry about spinal injuries, especially if you weren't thoroughly gone over after this accident. You hear a lot about TBI - traumatic brain injuries - from vets coming back from the war, who show no outward symptoms, but if they were within 300 feet of an IED or large explosion, which can cause a shock to the system, they can have effects, varying from mild to severe symptoms of all kinds, that may not be immediately diagnosed. It seems to me that you've had a somewhat similar shock to your system. I understand you have a chiropractor, and they can be very helpful if you're absolutely sure you have an issue that won't be worsened by manipulation, which is why I ask if you've had a physical checkup, a thorough going-over by a neurologist to make sure there are no neuro problems. It may be that there's nothing, that rest and icing and manipulation and massage is the best treatment (personally I'd prefer warmth over ice - Brrr!) and that the most lasting effect will be the emotional trauma from what seems like almost a cosmic conspiracy to get you.
I understand the need to go back to work in spite of the pain, not only for yourself but because you feel an obligation to your patients, as well as the financial issues. Is there a way to use an ice bag or heating pad on your back while you see patients? A head rest would seem to be a must, if it causes you such pain to hold your head upright like that, which to me seems unbearable in itself. If the ibuprofen seems to be losing it's effectiveness - and it can be hard on the tummy as well - something like Naproxen (Aleve is a tradename) might work to get you through. I know I don't have to tell you to take care of yourself, you're very well aware of how to do that, and all those furry loving ones at home need you too, but I certainly hope and pray that you do feel better and more Kimber-like soon. Best wishes, Barb
I'm so sorry you're in such pain, not just emotional but physical as well. I understand now that it is hard to be philosophical about all this when you're hurting physically, adding insult to injury, cause you've had so many traumas recently. After this collision, were you checked out physically at the hospital, and did they do an MRI or CT scan? When I hear about back or neck pain, as a former nurse - even though I was an OB nurse, which has no bearing on your situation - I always think of neuro issues. I worry about spinal injuries, especially if you weren't thoroughly gone over after this accident. You hear a lot about TBI - traumatic brain injuries - from vets coming back from the war, who show no outward symptoms, but if they were within 300 feet of an IED or large explosion, which can cause a shock to the system, they can have effects, varying from mild to severe symptoms of all kinds, that may not be immediately diagnosed. It seems to me that you've had a somewhat similar shock to your system. I understand you have a chiropractor, and they can be very helpful if you're absolutely sure you have an issue that won't be worsened by manipulation, which is why I ask if you've had a physical checkup, a thorough going-over by a neurologist to make sure there are no neuro problems. It may be that there's nothing, that rest and icing and manipulation and massage is the best treatment (personally I'd prefer warmth over ice - Brrr!) and that the most lasting effect will be the emotional trauma from what seems like almost a cosmic conspiracy to get you.
I understand the need to go back to work in spite of the pain, not only for yourself but because you feel an obligation to your patients, as well as the financial issues. Is there a way to use an ice bag or heating pad on your back while you see patients? A head rest would seem to be a must, if it causes you such pain to hold your head upright like that, which to me seems unbearable in itself. If the ibuprofen seems to be losing it's effectiveness - and it can be hard on the tummy as well - something like Naproxen (Aleve is a tradename) might work to get you through. I know I don't have to tell you to take care of yourself, you're very well aware of how to do that, and all those furry loving ones at home need you too, but I certainly hope and pray that you do feel better and more Kimber-like soon. Best wishes, Barb
I'm doing pretty well, all things considered. This really did set me back, and it is yet another Life Event to deal with, but physically I'm improving well, and my spirits are rebounding. My body is responding well to chiro and bodywork -- I'd been active with both already, so my body knows where 'home' is. I'm not physically ready to test-drive this weekend, but I can start the online research for another car. <<Yikes, I should say! I just tried to wipe up a pile of kitty puke, and the brief scrubbing motion on the carpet fired off the muscles in the front of my neck clear into my shoulder!>>
I took ketoprofen a couple of days, but haven't needed it the last two. I have had xrays, and they show no fracture, no disk herniation, but the curve in my neck and upper back are too straight. I have rotational whiplash (a twist injury), since in a seatbelted body, the left shoulder stops before the right one, which continues forward and twists around the belt. The bodywork and chiropractic are making great strides. I opened a PIP claim so that I don't limit my care because of budget issues. There are no neurologic signs. I filled out a form that assesses for brain injury. The jury is out yet, since this has been such a cognitive and emotional shock, that pain and preoccupation could be causing some of what I'm feeling. I've had a contre-cous brain injury before, and I don't think I do this time, but I'm staying mindful of that. (No pun intended.)
Philosophically, I'm not there yet, though I am confident I'll arrive at the right time. I will find lemonade in this. Thank you for the reminder about Teachings of Abraham. Someone else had recommended that several months ago, and I'd forgotten. My bodyworker has a strong understanding of mind-body-energy connection, so the work is helping me move through it emotionally as well.
In life, there are feathers, bricks, and trucks. Warnings of impending pain first tickle like a feather. If we ignore these warnings, then we get with a brick. If we ignore those warnings, then we get hit with a truck. --This was a brick. I am going to attend fully to the warnings -- the meanings -- and not wait around for that truck!
Kimberly
I took ketoprofen a couple of days, but haven't needed it the last two. I have had xrays, and they show no fracture, no disk herniation, but the curve in my neck and upper back are too straight. I have rotational whiplash (a twist injury), since in a seatbelted body, the left shoulder stops before the right one, which continues forward and twists around the belt. The bodywork and chiropractic are making great strides. I opened a PIP claim so that I don't limit my care because of budget issues. There are no neurologic signs. I filled out a form that assesses for brain injury. The jury is out yet, since this has been such a cognitive and emotional shock, that pain and preoccupation could be causing some of what I'm feeling. I've had a contre-cous brain injury before, and I don't think I do this time, but I'm staying mindful of that. (No pun intended.)
Philosophically, I'm not there yet, though I am confident I'll arrive at the right time. I will find lemonade in this. Thank you for the reminder about Teachings of Abraham. Someone else had recommended that several months ago, and I'd forgotten. My bodyworker has a strong understanding of mind-body-energy connection, so the work is helping me move through it emotionally as well.
In life, there are feathers, bricks, and trucks. Warnings of impending pain first tickle like a feather. If we ignore these warnings, then we get with a brick. If we ignore those warnings, then we get hit with a truck. --This was a brick. I am going to attend fully to the warnings -- the meanings -- and not wait around for that truck!
Kimberly
Dang, I was full of sunshine and light and optimism in that last post. I remain confident that I'll fully recover, but as each day passes, I feel this odd mix of both knowing that I am healing well, and that this is BIG and going to take some time. I'm hurt worse than I thought. Each day the scope of this accident mushrooms, as I grasp that this is no "feel stiff and achey for a couple weeks" thing.
The fatigue is mind-boggling. My concentration sucks. My attention is so drifty. I feel constantly 'altered,' like I've had half a glass of wine. I'm continuing to work, even though I shouldn't. I'm self-employed, and booked 1-2 weeks ahead. I fill out 7 pages of forms each hour, and my shoulder and neck are screaming, with one workday left to go. Yesterday at my bodyworker's I got confused what day it was, and completely lost it when I realized it was only my first day of work this week. I'm blessed with a three-day work week, but right now these three days feel like Mt. Everest.
And, on a fundamental level, I feel like I'm going through this alone. I have friends by email, by phone, and at work, but literally no one to come over and help me with the dishes or sit with a cup of hot cocoa. Granted, I'm the first to admit I have a hard time asking for help, but I've done a poor job in making new friends in my community. This has been a huge wake-up call. And, as I head into Fall, I'm missing my dad in a whole new way.
Please PLEASE let this be the last big blow for a while......... ~K
The fatigue is mind-boggling. My concentration sucks. My attention is so drifty. I feel constantly 'altered,' like I've had half a glass of wine. I'm continuing to work, even though I shouldn't. I'm self-employed, and booked 1-2 weeks ahead. I fill out 7 pages of forms each hour, and my shoulder and neck are screaming, with one workday left to go. Yesterday at my bodyworker's I got confused what day it was, and completely lost it when I realized it was only my first day of work this week. I'm blessed with a three-day work week, but right now these three days feel like Mt. Everest.
And, on a fundamental level, I feel like I'm going through this alone. I have friends by email, by phone, and at work, but literally no one to come over and help me with the dishes or sit with a cup of hot cocoa. Granted, I'm the first to admit I have a hard time asking for help, but I've done a poor job in making new friends in my community. This has been a huge wake-up call. And, as I head into Fall, I'm missing my dad in a whole new way.
Please PLEASE let this be the last big blow for a while......... ~K
Continuing to recover. Two steps forward, one step back.
After so many months of doing doing doing doing, the accident was about getting me to slow down. Stop. Just be. Taking care of Dad I was constantly "on-shift" and always available. Since he's been gone, I've been going going going full tilt, both catching up on things left unattended, and charging toward my new life.
I'm fairly certain what car I'll get (Subaru Outback) but figured I should test drive others too. On my way to the auto dealers yesterday is when I rescued the cat off the freeway. (see my post under Lost & Missing thread) Detours, everywhere..........
And after months of helping Willow calm down and be okay with the kittens and not Twitch --- now there's a new, helpless, stranger-kitty locked in my home office, and willow is all freaked out about it. *sigh*
Okay: the mantra: "life is not the destination, it's the journey." If there are detours right now, then that's simply the journey for this stretch of road. ~Kimberly
After so many months of doing doing doing doing, the accident was about getting me to slow down. Stop. Just be. Taking care of Dad I was constantly "on-shift" and always available. Since he's been gone, I've been going going going full tilt, both catching up on things left unattended, and charging toward my new life.
I'm fairly certain what car I'll get (Subaru Outback) but figured I should test drive others too. On my way to the auto dealers yesterday is when I rescued the cat off the freeway. (see my post under Lost & Missing thread) Detours, everywhere..........
And after months of helping Willow calm down and be okay with the kittens and not Twitch --- now there's a new, helpless, stranger-kitty locked in my home office, and willow is all freaked out about it. *sigh*
Okay: the mantra: "life is not the destination, it's the journey." If there are detours right now, then that's simply the journey for this stretch of road. ~Kimberly
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