I haven't been very active here for the past few months and unfortunately I'm not writing with good news. Many of you were amazingly supportive of me following the death of my boy, MoMo, last January from cancer and Cushing's disease. I stopped checking in last spring when his sister, Maisie, was also diagnosed with Cushing's. Mo's was caused by an adrenal tumor and yesterday, after a 5 month battle trying to regulate drug levels and recent symptoms of neurological damage, an MRI confirmed that Maisie has a large pituitary tumor that is compressing her brain. I am beside myself. Only within the last few months have I stopped crying daily over Mo's death, although thoughts of him never leave me. It took a long time to come to terms with it, as both he and Maisie have been with me since my early 20's - through every major event in my life.

She is not well and the last few months have been extremely difficult- she has tremors throughout her body, the cause of which is unidentified as it could be due to the tumor, the cushing's, or the drugs used to treat the cushing's. She has started to show signs of neurological damage - drooling, circling, and accidents all over the house. I moved in with my mother so that Maisie would have around the clock care as I travel for work (although as little as possible now). She has awful side effects from the drugs - fatigue, nausea and sleeps most of the time. When she is not sleeping she is trembling. I realized yesterday that she has not wagged her tail in over 4 months.

Yesterday I was told that her only treatment option is radiation therapy in an attempt to shrink the tumor. This would be a daily process for 3 weeks and each dose would require general anesthesia. Yesterday her blood pressure dropped while under anesthesia during the MRI and it took my normal vet calling the hospital for them to even release her to come home with me last night. If treated with radiation, she would either be dropped off each morning Monday through Friday and then picked up at night, or, because of her age, left at the hospital from Monday though Friday and brought home on weekends. I'm worried that the trauma of this alone will kill her.

Maisie is almost 11, she is a large dog and is no longer herself. The radiation might extend her life for a year or two if she made it through the 3 weeks and if the tumor growth doesn't progress. She will still require treatment for Cushing's, which will continue to produce side effects. There are no guarantees.

I'm sorry that I haven't posted, but I was so hopeful that she would be fine that in some strange way I thought I would 'jinx' myself or her by initiating any discussion of a potentially negative outcome. It has happened anyway. I trust all of you and I need your help in deciding on an unselfish course of action. I was up with her all of last night, and my gut as soon as I was given the treatment information last night immediately told me that it I could not put her through that. I am the last person to give up on my babies -I took 5 months off from work to stay home and care for Mo when he was dying and as I mentioned above, I've put all of my things in storage to move Maisie to a more comfortable environment with better care. What I am struggling so much with is how I could subject an almost 11 year old, sick dog who is terrified of the vet and who has a life expectancy of maybe 11 or 12 because of her breed to daily radiation and its side effects, anesthesia, which she does not tolerate well, to live maybe a year and a half with a disease that will still require meds that make her exhausted and sick? I would give anything and pay any amount of money to care for her, so cost isn't an issue, but her quality of life is.

Left untreated, she may only have a few months. The tumor could start causing seizures and we don't know how fast it is growing. I needed a day or two to think this through before proceeding and I would sincerely appreciate your objective thoughts.

Thank you so much for being there and I hope you and your babies are finding peace.

Jen

I am so sorry for your loss and what is happening to you both now. I lost both of my babies, Bebe and Bailey, this past year. They were suffering so bad I had to help in their passing. That is never an easy decision. Even when that decision is made there are still doubts. Even though I know they are in a better place, I still wanted them with me. Just do what you know is best for her. I could have done chemo with Bailey but I opted not to because it would not have cured her and I did not want her to suffer more than she had to for the time she had left. I still made her suffer longer than I should have. I really am sorry. Your situation sounds so much like mine. I know it is hard. I know you don't want her to suffer more than she has to. It is just very hard decision. Follow your heart and Maisie's. If you ever want to talk you can email me at sherirs04@aol.com.

You are all in my prayers.

Sheri

Whoa, Jen.....I'm so, so sorry you've been facing such horrible ordeals all this time with your poor baby's illnesses, and while still grieving for the loss of your dear Momo not even a year previous, too! You must be so exhausted, on top of everything else!

I very much appreciate all the detail you've given here and know how difficult this must have been to write, but how necessary you deemed it for the purpose of asking any of us for an objective opinion. To get right to the point, then, for whatever it's worth, here's mine.

I would NEVER presume to make such a decision for ANYONE else, and yet I find myself feeling much like your gut has already sensed for you......with one provision. And here, all I can tell you is the kind of thinking I'd be having, were it me in your position, taking my own experiences into account, as I'd have to do, of course. The first part deals with how things are right now. And so no, with everything you've told us, were it me, I could not subject Maisie, were she mine, to such known or probable 'hazards', nor such a 'lifestyle', especially given her feelings about being at the vet's, with the proposed treatment, or at least not with this treatment BY ITSELF.

However, part two of my opinion deals with the differences in how I treated my own kidlets and what I've learned along the way, and so they naturally MUST help shape any opinion I might have. So, were it me, I would also be turning to holistic, alternative, homeopathic &/or Chinese Medicine, and anything else I've already had some experience with (Radionics, various energy treatments, accupressure/puncture, herbology, flower essences, etc., etc.) to determine if any or all of these forms of treatment would hold any better hope than allopathic medicine does for these conditions, or in conjunction with this course of treatment. The difference is, that's what I would have been doing before as well, so I'd probably already have a better idea about possible outcomes. However, had I not, I'd most likely still be looking into it, even at this late date, just in case. For all I know, it might be too late already for such measures, but again, were it me, I know I'd never rest easy until I knew more certainly....so I'd still be checking first. Similarly to you, I know I couldn't give up or give in w/o trying my utmost for any baby of mine...and for me, this is a large part of what consti*tutes such trying.

However, if mainstream medicine is your choice of treatment, for your own reasons, then again.....no, given what you already know about its side effects and what you've been told about the course of treatment, the risks and what that would look like....I don't believe I could do that to my own baby, for all of the reasons you've already so rationally and clearly outlined. From a mainstream medicine standpoint, this doesn't sound like Maisie would be living with quality of life and additionally, you'd do well to consider how you'd be reacting to seeing this transpire and how that might impact her quality of life as well, because you're a part of the whole picture, too, even if you are putting her needs first.

As I hopefully said well enough, this is only how I would have to view it, given what I've experienced myself, so feel more than free to disregard anything that doesn't suit you, but since you've asked for opinions, I'm giving mine in service to your desire.

All that aside, although I of course can't know EXACTLY how you're feeling, I can well imagine how horrible this must be for you. You've done so very much already for dear Maisie and you're to be commended for that, and for the love that has driven your dedication and commitment to her. So even if you 'gave in' today and decided to release her from her illnesses, no one could argue with that, I strongly suspect. Even if you need flip-flop back and forth first about this important decision, I'm sure we'd all understand that, too. We all know how vital it is to get as clear as possible about such things before acting one way or another. To that end, I wish you the most strength and clarity you could possibly have during this difficult process, but trust that you will find whatever answers you need to at this time, despite how "crazy-making" such times are. Once again, I'm so very sorry you and Maisie have to be going through all this, and of course many of us will be here to help no matter what. Man.....these kinds of things are just SO hard!

Wishing you peace and calm and every insight you could possibly need,
F.'s Mom

Thanks so much to both of you.. this really helps me. It has been a very difficult year.

Sheri - I 'm so sorry you lost both babies in one year and I never imagined something like this happening. It must have been truly awful for you. It sounds like you did the absolute best thing for her by sparing her the suffering associated with chemo. I know all too well the doubt I still feel after euthanizing Mo - but there were no treatment options left for him. I'm terrified of not at least trying to treat her - but how do you know what is right? Thanks for your email address - I will probably need it.

F's mom - we are on the same wavelength. This morning I found a vet in CA - Dr. Alice Villalobos - who combines both types of medicine with the goal being improving quality of life. I'm trying to find a phone number for her to see if she will at least talk to me or to my vet. I am a huge proponent of naturopathy and homeopathy so I've been researching linoleic acid and various supplements - that's actually how I came across Dr. Villalobos's name. I'm alo interested in your knowledge around nutrition, especially as it relates to tumors. I've read some conflicting articles about carbs being eliminated from a dog's diet..

I cannot give up on her and I will explore every alternative treatment available, even if it only improves her quality of life. The issue now is that the tumor is over 1.5 centimeters and I need to take action asap.

Thanks so much for responding so quickly - I am absolutely open to all suggestions that anyone might have.

With Love,

Jen

Jen,

So as to not waste any time, again, right to the point here:

I've read about the importance of a change in diet for humans who have tumors, and am sure the same principles apply to our beloved animals, but unfortunately don't know the specifics on such diets, for either species. (by the time I learned more, our boy, Sabin had already died from cancer and I never had the heart to pursue it further.....to add to my already huge guilt! ) I can tell you that one TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) herbal trtmnt. we'd started to try (but ran out of time to continue) had about a 30% chance of curing an animal from cancer (any type). Our only problem, a big one for us, was sourcing out small enough capsules for a small CAT to be able to swallow...and they didn't come in in time.

Denise (Muffins) might even have some knowledge about raw food diets as relating to tumors, for all I know, as she's quite 'up' on these things, too. However, if carbs are contentious, and raw food diets are the 'supreme' types, I highly doubt it would be a BAD thing to consider one that didn't use carbs, as the highest forms of quality, organically-based food nutritional support can only help improve someone's immune system, which is vital to address during most forms of illness, but especially if you're considering radiation or chemo., which both flatten that right out. Similarly, any nutritional supplements should include immune-supporting types, but you'd have to check whether any of them might (because of their particular properties) also encourage tumor growth. As always, one needs an experienced vet who's fully aware of the most up-to-date info. about such things. (I wish I knew about this Dr. Villalobos, but I don't, but I also know I wouldn't agree with her views on vaccination, either)

We'd also included NAC (N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine, an amino acid) as one of the supplements for Sabin, and with Nissa's illness I'd also used Transfer Factors Advanced formula, which can be purchased online through a distributor (it's for immune system support).

To that end, I'm including a link to a vet who I myself would highly consider as part of a health and healing team, should I ever adopt again. His name is Dr. Marty Goldstein and he's in New York, but last I heard (and hope it's still so), he would work by phone consult, too, given enough time and the proper docu*mentation/medical records forwarded to him. It can't hurt to check, as once you read a bit of his website, I think you'll be impressed by his work to date. I know he and his wife were very big proponents on good nutrition, so I'm sure he'd be a great source of info. on this, especially as it relates to many diseases and conditions.
Dr. Marty Goldstein's website

And as always, our own vet, Dr. Hamilton, who's a classical homeopathic vet, might possibly be contacted if for nothing more than a referral to someone HE might know who does both allopathic and alternative methods, but I can't say for certain. If you'd like his #, PM me and I'll pass it on. (he's in New Mexico) You might also wish to check out Dr. Donna Starita, who does Radionics, which might offer a different sort of energy-based help in the meantime. While her efforts didn't prove to be enough for Sabin's case, she does come highly recommended by many and our local holistic vet had had some rather 'miraculous' results with a few of her clients who'd used Dr. Starita in conjunction with her own treatments. She'd referred us to her for the cancer.

The VERY best of luck in your (panicked!) search. You have all my sympathies for this very tough care-giving position and the sheer amount of time, effort and busyness it entails.

I hope this will be of some help and you can get ahold of him quickly if you decide to, as I know how time is of the essence when it comes to things like this. Hang in there!!

Jen,
Are you seeing an onconlogist? That is a great point about the alternative medicine. Our vet does acupuncture. There is a group on yahoo that is specifically for cancer and dogs. You can join and it is a great source of info. I was a member of the cat cancer group and it got me through some tough questions and decisions with meds. If you can't find it, email me and I will look for the link. I do remember our oncologist telling us not to do the raw diet. She said they put the cats on canned prescription diet. I can't remember which one but it was hills.
How do you know? I always asked this too. But when it came down to her suffering beyond belief and I could see the pain in her eyes and her staying under the bed, I made that decision. I guess I can say I don't regret the decision to end their pain but I would do anything to have both of them here.
Like you are saying, it comes down to them having a good quality of life for as long as possible. That's the best you can do. Hang in there. You are a good mommy.

Sheri
sherirs04@aol.com

Dear (((((((Jen)))))))

I am so very sorry to hear about Maisie's declining health . How is she doing at this time?



I really don't know about raw food diets as it relates to tumors. I wish I had more information that would be of help to you at this very difficult time.

Your precious Maisie continues to be in my prayers. Much comfort & love to you both!

God Bless You and yours,

Denise

I was just heartbroken when I saw your post. Oly you can make decisions in terms of how to proceed, it sounds like you have thought this through ever so much. You sound so much like me, only traveling when necessary and making sure Maisie has round the clock care. It is great know there are other pet parents out there like you, the world is sure a better place.


Maisie is so lucky to have you in her corner, thinking of her needs at all costs. I can tell you that leaving her at a vets office for that long every day might be too much for her. I speak from experience....Msity could only be left alone for 7 hrs, and leaving him at a vets office was never an option for me. Once when we had the house sprayed for termite pervention he had to go for a day, and he was so upset it took him 3 days to calm down.

The following is just my thoughts from decisions we had to make for Misty, as his advocate.

He was first diagnosed with hyperthyroidism about 5 years before he died. They wanted me to drive him 3 hrs away to a small hospital that did this experimental procedue that would have cured it completely. He would have had to stay in isolation there for 3 weeks.

The answer was clear to me without hesitation: NO!!!!! He would have been so scared and if soemthing had happened to him with his renal failure and he died at that hospital, I would have never forgiven myself.

The vet was ticked at us, as they wanted to use him as an experiment, and we switched vets. She put him on medicine, two types, and he lived happily at home for 5 years, dancing aroudn his food dish, laying on his pool raft, etc.

I wouldn't change a thing. When they said he had cancer (it had hit his lung) even if it was treatable I never would have put him through the trauma of treatments. He was so afraid when outside his environment, I just couldn't put him through anything.

In my case, the decision was made for me, as she said he may only last a few days at most, so I wasn't faced with your heart wrenching situation.

Just wanted to share my experience to see if it helps you at all. I am so sorry you are having to go through this, I just ca't imagine with losing Mo, too.......

Hats off to your Mom, too, for helping out. Ther should be more caring pet people out there like you and her.

Hang in there and my thoughts are with you......

Love, Amy (Misty's Mama)

As always, thanks to all of you for the encouragement. The last 2 weeks have been awful. I brought Maisie to the Oncologist last Friday to discuss radiation as I wanted to be armed with as much info as possible. My vet had found her spleen to be enlarged soon after the MRI showed the pituitary tumor, so the oncologists did an ultrasound. They found a 2 centimeter mass on her spleen. No word on what the results of the aspirate show. In the meantime, her neurological signs have worsened...she is restless, circling, panting and up literally almost all night. Still eating and drinking, but definitely uncomfortable and not herself. The tumor is putting pressure on her brain and the only thing they could do is give her steroids, which activate the Cushing's disease and could induce diabetes. This is a nightmare. I have to make a decision today based on the results of the spleen test to either put her down or start steriods, bring her for a CAT scan next week and start radiation the following week. This has all come to a head so fast that I'm honestly in shock. I don't know what to do ....I want to be as unselfish as possible but I'm not ready to let her go...I don't know if I wanted to treat her for my own reasons - to avoid losing my remaining baby within a year of (a little over 9 months) losing Mo...or whether I should just give her a chance. I don't want her to suffer and the only things that will help her are not goos options...I am so confused right now...