It went as well as to be expected. The vet said Babe was ready to go and it was the right time to do it because she would have gone down quickly. It was hard but the best thing for her and that made me feel better. I just feel numb now.........
Sheri

Hi Sheri,

I thought about you and your Babe this morning. I am glad to hear that there were no complications, and that Babe was ready to go to Rainbow Bridge. You have treated Babe with so much love for many years, and this was your last gift of love you could give her.

After I put Touch to sleep, I was initially full of shock and numbness as well. The reality did not hit me until that night, when I lay in bed and was alone. It may be difficult for you to hear this and believe it, but you will heal.

Remember the great days with Babe, and cry when you feel like crying.

Hang in there. My thoughts and prayers go out to you during this difficult time.

Crystal

Dear Sheri,

Numb is probably good. I remember feeling that way too. I think it is the beginning of the healing....

Wishing you peace and loving memories of your sweet Babe,
Sharon,

I am so sorry for your loss. You did the kindest thing you could do, knowing that it would save Babe further pain at the expense of your own. Now it's time to treat yourself well. Cherish those memories and feel better soon.

ken Albin

i have been follwing this thread about babe, i wanted to post so many times but just couldnt find the right words to comfort you , . but now after reading everyones posts.. i think i can...

you did right by babe. and she loved you for it. i am so sorry for your loss, i know how you feel. i have been there twice in less than two months apart last year. hardest thing i ever had to do. it hurts and the numbness you feel is real and i felt that way too. cry when you need to. come here for great support. there are so many wonderful people on this board to help you and give you a cyber shoulder to lean on.
cherish the memories you have .
i wish you peace and healing
luv
michelle's kitty

Sheri,I was thinking about you and Babe this morning and I know how hard it must have been for you.You did the right thing by her but it still doesn't make it easy to bear.We know how you feel here and I along with everyone else here feels so terrible for you.You are in our thoughts and prayers.The numbness you feel will not last forever and with our help you'll get thur this most difficult time in your life.Babe lived a good long life and she couldn't have asked for a better mom and your going to miss her.That's completely normal.My heart goes out to you now and please come here as often as you need to.We are all here for you.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's Mom)

Hugs Sheri, I hope the PM I sent you helped you in some small way.
You did the most loving, unselfish act for your Babe. Remember how she was when she was healthy, I can't say that enough. When you're ready post more pics, that has really helped me. I'm so sorry for your loss, we all support you here, and you know that.

I will be around, PM me if you want ok?

Sheri, thinking of you..... ~Kimberly

I'm thinking of you too, Sheri...

Thinking of you and Babe....

Sheri,

I'm so sorry to hear about Babe. You did everything you could for her, and loved her with all your heart. But it was her time. When our pets make that decision, there's often not a lot we can do to change it. You listened to her, & didn't want her to hurt anymore. You put the burden of pain on yourself so you could end hers. That is a huge act of love.

I am thinking of you so much, as are so many of your friends here. Let us know how you're doing.

Kim

My heart aches for you because the time has come for you to let go and this must have been so difficult for you both. There is a time for everything, there will be a time for all of us, in the end, the only thing that will stay is the love we had, the love we have and the love we will have. Take care, be very good to yourself, you and Babe have been through a spiritual odyssey during this last year and you must regain your strength now that you have given so much of it for Babe. Know that you need to rest and recharge, don't be afraid to get some help at first if you feel you need medication to sleep, I know that I would be totally drained if I were you. What you did for Babe is solid gold, is beyond many other human's capacity, Babe wraps her love around you. you will be recharged with her love for a wonderful sejourn here during the instant that Babe waits for you and her to be together again. Meanwhile, trust that life will bring you many sweet tender moments and know that Babe holds the light onto your future path, she will guide you in her heavenly way.

I am so grieved, I just can't stand this. It's the most horrible lost and lonely feeling. I just want my Babe.

Yes. I hear you.

Continuing to think about you today... Wish there was some magic secret, but the way out, is through. Please be sure to drink lots of water today, to replace tears and keep the headache at least somewhat away.

This story has been posted here several times before, and I'll post it again for you. My heart aches for you, honey. ~Kimberly

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The Story of Little Orange Boy

The little orange boy woke up on the edge of a pond. Behind him, kitties and puppies were playing, chasing each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine. It looked like so much fun, but in front of him, through the clear stillness of the pond's water, he could see his Mommy.

His Mommy was crying.

He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work, he jumped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and Mommy's image danced away in the ripples. "Mommy!" he cried.

"Is something wrong?"

The little orange boy turned around. A beautiful lady was standing at the edge of the pond, her eyes sad but filled with love. The little orange boy whined and walked out of the water.

"There's been a mistake," he said. "I'm not supposed to be here." He looked back at the water. It was starting to still again and his mommy's image was coming back. "I'm just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a mistake. She said I wasn't supposed to come here yet."

The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass. The little orange boy climbed into her lap. It wasn't Mommy's lap, but it was almost as good. When she started to pet him and skritch under his chin where he liked, he started to purr. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it.

"I'm afraid there is no mistake. You are supposed to be here and your Mommy knows it deep down in her heart," the lady said.

The little orange boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg. "But she's so sad. It hurts me to see her cry. And Daddy too."

"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen."

"That I was sick?" That surprised the little orange boy. No one had ever said anything and he had listened when they thought he was sleeping. All he had heard them talk about was how cute he was or how fast he was or how big he was getting.

"No, not that you were sick," the lady said. "But you see, they chose tears."

"No they didn't," the little orange boy argued. Who would choose to cry?

The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss. It made him feel safe and loved and warm - but he still worried about his Mommy

"Let me tell you a story," the lady said.

The little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around. Cats - Big Boy and Snowball and Babe and Shamus and Abby and little Cleo and Robin. Merlin and Toby and Iggy and Zachary. Sweetie and Kamatte and OBie. Dogs too - Sally and Baby and Morgan and Rocky and Belle. Even a lizard named Clyde and some rats named Saffron and Becky, a rabbit named Dot and a hamster named Odo. They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her, waiting.

She smiled at them and began:

A long long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They were lonesome and asked the angel to help them.

The angel took them to a wall of windows and let them look out the first window at all sorts of things - dolls and stuffed animals and cars and toys and sporting events.

"Here are things you can love," the angel said. "They will keep you from being lonesome."

"Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These are just what we need."

"You have chosen Pleasure," the angel told them.

But after a time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge. "Things are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love them."

The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out at all sorts of wild animals. "Here are animals to love," he said. "They will know you love them."

So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild animals. "You have chosen Satisfaction," the angel said.

Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal preserves, some just had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time they all came back to the Angel in Charge. "They know we love them," they told the angel. "But they don't love us back. We want to be loved in return."

So the angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of people walking around, hurrying places. "Here are other people for you to love," the angel told them.

So the Loving Ones hurried off to find other people to love. "You have chosen Commitment," the angel said.

But after a time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge. "People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes they stopped loving us and left. They broke our hearts."

The angel just shook his head. "I cannot help you," he said. "You will have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."

As the Loving Ones were leaving, one saw a window off to one side and hurried to look out. Through it, they could see puppies and kittens and dogs and cats and lizards and hamsters and ferrets. The other Loving Ones hurried over. "What about these?" they asked.

But the angel just tried to shoo them away. "Those are Personal Empathy Trainers," he said. "But there's a problem with their system operations."

"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked.

"Yes," the angel said.

"Will they stop loving us?" someone else asked.

"No," the angel admitted. "They will love you forever."

"Then these are what we want," the Loving Ones said.

But the angel was very upset. "You don't understand," he told them. "you will have to feed these animals."

"That's all right," the Loving Ones said.

"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."

"We don't care."

The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where the PETS were and picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts reflected in the animals' eyes.

"They were not programmed right," the angel said. "We can't offer a warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of their systems malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."

But the Loving Ones did not care. They were holding the warm little bodies and finding their hearts so filled with love that they thought they would burst. "We will take our chances," they said.

"You do not understand." The angel tried one more time. "They are so dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is not designed to outlive you. You are destined to suffer their loss."

The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded. "That is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the love they offer."

The angel just watched them all go, shaking his head. "You have chosen Tears," he whispered.
___________________________________________

"So it is," the kind lady told the little ones. "And so each Mommy and Daddy knows. When they take a baby into their heart, they know that one day it will leave them and they will cry."

The little orange boy sat up. "So why do they take us in?" he asked.

"Because even a moment of your love is worth years of pain."

"Oh." The little orange boy got off the lady's lap and went back to the edge of the pond. His Mommy was still there, and still crying. "Will she ever stop crying?" he asked the kind lady.

She nodded. "You see, the Angel felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing how much they would suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made them special."

She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her fingers. "He made them healing tears, formed from the special water here. Each tear holds bits of all the happy times of purring and petting and shared love. And the promise of love once again. As your Mommy cries, she is healing."

"It may take a long while, but the tears will help her feel better. In time she will be less sad and she will smile when she thinks of you. And then she will open her heart again to another little baby."

"But then she will cry again one day," the little orange boy said.

The lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet. "No, she will love again. That is all she will think about. That is all that truly matters." She picked up Big Boy and Snowball and gave them hugs, then scratched Morgan's ear just how she liked.

"Look," she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we go over to play?"

The other animals all ran ahead, but the little orange boy wasn't ready to leave his Mommy. "Will I ever get to be with her again?"

The kind lady nodded. "You'll be in the eyes of every kitty she looks at. You'll be in the purr of every cat she pets. And late at night, when she's fast asleep, your spirit will snuggle up close to her and you both will feel at peace. One day soon, you can even send her a rainbow to tell her you're safe and waiting here for when it's her turn to come. And a long, long time from now - you'll find her standing at the side of the pond waiting for you when you finish playing."

"I would like that," the little orange boy said and took one long look at his Mommy. He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew she had remembered the time he almost fell into the bathtub.

"I love you Mommy, he whispered. "It's okay if you cry." He glanced over at the others running and playing and laughing with the butterflies. "Uh, Mommy? I gotta go play now, okay? But I'll be around, I promise."

Then Fluffy turned and raced after the others.

Dear (((((((Sheri)))))))

I have been thinking of you a lot. I am so sorry for the pain that you are feeling..... In ending your precious Babe's suffering, you did a wonderful, courageous thing, and I know in my heart that she thanks you many times over. But, in doing that....you are left to go on a new journey -- and, that will be a journey without Babe's body --- but, always know that she is with you, today, tomorrow & always. She lives on in your heart, Sheri.



Yes, I know that what you are feeling really does STINK! Your heart is broken and I know it is hard to cope. The numbness you are feeling is very normal, but just know that it won't last forever. For the first few weeks you will probably feel like you're just going through the motions. And, that's okay.
Please, feel free to write as often as you want/need. I know that helped me, whether I wrote here at LS or in a notebook.
And, like so many others, I cried A LOT.

Did your beloved Babe have a favorite toy?? If so, keep it with you, if it's possible. My Ernestine had a couple of Beanie Babies, and I slept with them both. During the days, I held onto them - because they were hers, I wanted them with me.

Please do your best today to eat & drink fluids.... even if it's little bits at a time. Sometimes that can be the hardest thing to do for some that are grieving.
It won't always feel this bad, Sheri....but, for right now, it really does hurt. We all know that, and we are here for you.
Babe lives on in your heart....

Sending you lots of hugs.

Comfort & Love,

Denise

How am I going to get through this? I just want to go to sleep forever. I'm going crazy. A part of me is dead now. I won't ever be the same!

You have just gone through a traumatic experience. Are you alone? We are here for you.

Sheri,

I'm just so, so sorry and know how awful this must be for you. Just as you hopefully will in time, I have to take heart, too, from Babe's vet saying essentially, that it was the right time to assist her, because we all share this common bond ~ we never, ever want to have to live without our precious beloveds, period, and when we have to, it shakes us to our very core. And we need the assurance that we did something loving, something selfless, something brave. You did that.

No, you aren't the same now, just as none of us are after losing the ones we love. We never will be quite the same because a large part of our former lives are taken with them when they leave, so our loss feels multiplied in so many ways. I understand what you mean by wanting to "go to sleep forever." Truth be told, I still feel that way myself most days. It would be so much easier than feeling the gut-wrenching miiiiiissssssssing of our special loves.

I know I'm not being very inspirational for you, and I apologize for that, but even though I'd been through this before I lost my girl, I still find it hard today to envision the day when I'll see my own soul's growth arise out of this sorrow...even though I know it happens sooner or later (in my case, always later). So my heart bleeds for you just as it still does for myself. I, too, still feel "lost and lonely," and more....more than anyone realizes. Thus, all I can say is that I remember...I know... and I truly understand how 'insanely' agonized you must feel.

You were a wonderful, devoted mom to Babe. Bless you for seeing her through to the start of her continued spiritual journey. I'm so very sorry...

Sheri,

This is a link to some phone supports, you may want to call. They are professionally trained.

http://www.deltasociety.org/TextOnly/Anima...lossHotline.htm

Paris, great idea! You reminded me -- here's another one. WSU College of Veterinary Medicine has a Pet Loss Hotline staffed by veterinary students. Part of their training includes how to counsel owner's in grief. (509) 335-5704

Sheri, I'm so sorry for your loss of Babe and the pain that you are in. I know that it is so.. hard. You, as Babe's guardian provided her with the outmost unselfish act of love by taking away all of her pain and suffering. You are a kind caring loving person and Babe loved you because she knew that about you. Try to hang in there and once again I am truly sorry for your loss. Take care k9pal

I feel so lost and in a daze. I heard Babe this morning. The night before I dreamed she was in kidney failure and that she died. I woke up thinking, Oh, she's safe - then remembered - oh yea - she's dead. I miss her so much. If I could just scratch her ears and belly one more time, put my nose in her fur, feel her pretty pink nose, tell her i love her, hold her, pet her...............I'm so lost without her and I will never get over this.

Yay! She's in touch with you! Probably wishing she could lick away your tears....

As for feeling like you'll never get over this, yep, that sounds about right for Day 2. Having been through this 4 times in 5 years, I wouldn't wish this pain on anybody, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Will you get over it? Yes and no. Yes, you'll feel good again, yes you'll love another kitty as much (though differently), and yes you'll hear yourself laughing and feeling joy again. But also no, because losses like this broaden and deepen us. It changes us. You won't be the same, but you will be able to know joy and peace again, I promise. And don't worry if you can't feel any faith in that right now -- we'll hold onto it for you. *'*'Again, my condolences.'*'* ~Kimberly

Kimberly said so much so very well! (bless you, Kimberly!)

And I'll second the conviction that Babe made sure you could hear her, still being around you, still loving you! You may not be able to appreciate this sign for what it means just yet, because of all the intense pain, but in time I think you will look back in wonder, awe and absolute grati*tude for such a remarkable blessing and testament to the love you and Babe share with one another. I mean this in the nicest way....but do you have any idea how jealous I am of you right now because you got what I've been expecting for so long but haven't received? I would give a limb for that.....a VOCAL sign!....and I couldn't be more pleased that she's come through for you, and in record time. She LOOOOVES her mommy so!!

And I'm sure she understands perfectly why you're grieving so hard for her. After all, she means the world to you, so how could you NOT feel so devastated and lost? Those of us who also had to nurture and provide care to our babies over long periods of time during their illnesses form SUCH an intensified bond to them and it's SO hard to so suddenly have to stop and have nothing to do for them! We've been forced to give up our very important and time-honoured role and that becomes another loss we have to contend with. It's not easy at all.

I also empathize with that utter yearning to feel your baby, hold her, touch her, smell her, gaze at her.....it's probably one of the hardest things to try and cope with in these grief journeys. There's really no 'cure' for it, I've found, and that's why I bought myself a plush cat toy to kiss and snuggle and hold tight (and I know I'm not the only one here to do this), as well as 2 other ones (one as a stand-in for Nissa; one for Sabin) that turned out to be hard-formed and not very snuggly. None of them are anywhere like her, really, but it's better than nothing. I still cannot go to bed w/o clutching at least one of them because she slept with me almost every night for almost 20 years. I told Nissa that whenever I interacted with these toys, she should consider them to BE her, and to receive my loving just as if she was physically still here. I hope that way, we're both somewhat 'satisfied' and I like the way it helps me feel more connected to her and 'normal'. I'm pretty sure I'll never get beyond having to do this, either. It would just be too foreign and NOT-me.

You know, it's perfectly fine if you feel like you'll never 'get over' your loss. It's not about 'getting over' it. It's only about gradually and as gently as possible adjusting to a different and alien-feeling world, and that doesn't happen overnight. For some, depending on the relationship, that takes years of slow grief work. For others, it's a faster process. Even though I can enjoy a few things and even laugh a lot at certain things, it's not like the ache has left....it sits underneath the surface at all times, or back up to the very top at other times, or somewhere in between. This is just what grief does. It's a total roller-coaster, one that no regular human is immune to in their lifetime. Even sages and enlightened beings have felt grief in their human experiences. But even with all this company, we still can feel so very alone, and that's part of grief, too.

But we're here for you, regardless of how you feel. Let us be your company, as best we can.

Sheri,

I just wanted you to know that I have been thinking about you and Babe. I know how you feel right now, I still feel that way a lot of times. You did the right thing though. I know it hurts, but sweet Babe isn't hurting now, and that is the important thing. She loves you for setting her free and she will always be with you.

hugs

Paula

Thank y'all so much for your kindness and concern. It means so much to me that I have been in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. If anyone understands my pain and grief, it's all of you. I'm hanging in there - day by day. I miss her so much! She was and still is so special to me. I did all I could for her and gave her a good life - one of luxury. I know it was my love and care for her that helped her hang on for so long. Although I am profoundly sad, I feel happy to know that my Babe is no longer in pain. She's happy and free and waiting for me.
Please continue to pray for me.

Sheri

Dearest Sheri, My heart is breaking for you. You will get through this. I didn't think I would survive and it's been over a year. On day 2-6, the only relief I could find was a hot shower. When I started getting ill I contacted my Doctor. She was very understanding. Please don't let this affect your health. I also practically lived on this message board. Everyone here was so supportive. If you need to get things out, and work through your grief, this is the place that will understand completely. I know I'm not the only one that reads these posts with tears streaming down my face. Once you've gone through this we all share each others pain. Let us help you carry your burden and know that you are so special for loving one of Gods most precious creations. Babe was so lucky to have you. I'll say a special prayer for both of you. Love, Michelle

Dear Sherri, I just happened to stop by and saw your notes, I am truly sorry for your loss, it brings back the pain for all of us, you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight, its been since Christmas for us, we have a new little love, but I still cry sometimes for my boy, I always will, but it actually is something you kind of live with, it just takes time, give yourself some time....much love and peace to you, Tory, Hrudey and Frank's momma

Sherri, I'm so sorry for your loss. You'll be in my thoughts.

Sheri,

I am so sorry for your loss, I remember seeing your story last year....it hit home because I was 7 months pregnant when I lost Misty before Christmas..I am also 36......

I am so sorry that you had to live over the last year knowing she was so sick, it sounds like you took such good care of her that she lived far longer than you were told. That is such a testament to you.......

I'll be thinking of you and your family over the next few months.

Peace and many hugs, Misty's Mama

Sheri, how ya doing? ~Kimberly