I've made the decision to let Babe go. This has been the hardest decision ever. She is getting worse and it would kill me to know that she is suffering. She is so much slower and looks so sad, now old, and tired. I know what is to come and I just can't let that happen to her. How can I do this and get through this? She is scheduled for Saturday at 1140am. My vet will be back in town then. I don't want anyone else to do it. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I feel like I'm going crazy. I actually feel kind of numb, too.

My thoughts and all my love are with you at this terrible time. Babe loves you and knows you ae doing what is right for her. She will always be with you wherever you are and will never stiop loving you. Trish

You poor dears.....both you and Babe. You've weighed much and considered much in these past weeks, so try to trust that you've thought and felt it it all out as carefully as you possibly ever could, and that you know Babe better than anybody and are coming from a place of deep love for her highest good.....not yours, but hers.

Try to trust in what others have discovered - that animals don't fear physical death as we do, that they already know that their journey isn't over, but will just change and continue to evolve....and that they never leave our side, even if we can't see them there.

Try to trust that your decisions are the best ones possible for both of you, given the circu*mstances and what you know at any given moment. You are the only one who CAN know this....not any of us, as much as we wish to ease your personal burden. You have not forsaken her, but are trying your best to do what you deem is in her best interests. If you weren't, you wouldn't be suffering with this. It is a mark of your love for her. It wouldn't BE love if it were an easy decision. So of course it's the hardest one ever.....it's not a decision ANY of us ever want to have to make.

The feelings of craziness and numbness are to be expected, if not welcome, but that numbness is something many of us go through, both as a means of mental/emotional self-preservation AND as an aid to lending strength to do what we feel will ultimately be the most compassionate act we'll ever be capable of....even if/when we don't feel capable at all. Babe KNOWS you love her with all your heart, and she will take that with her and keep your love all around her, always. Only if you stopped loving her would this change (no, short OR long-term numbness of feeling does NOT count in this!) While we may feel quite 'mechanical' while going through this, it's not a true reflection of the abundance of love we have for our babies, and they know that because they can see our souls and everything in and about them.

I suspect that if Babe truly isn't ready to leave, she will make that quite clear beforehand, even if it happens to be on the appointed date.....in which case you may just have to reconsider for a time. But take heart....nothing will be lost, even if this happens. All you have to do is remain aware, which I'm sure you will be anyway, as you will be focused so acutely on your precious girl. Trust yourself to stay aware, and you will, for you have loved Babe all these years already and won't stop doing so no matter what. Nor will she ever stop loving you, either. Your bond will never disappear.

My prayers are with you and Babe and you'll be well looked after here, anytime, for as long as you need. Give her an EXTRA kiss from me, and as many from yourself as she can possibly accept. And a sympathetic hug from me to you. May every remaining second with her be rich in love and mutual adoration, despite the tears that speak volumes about what you've shared with each other. I'm so sorry you, too, must walk this sorrowful path......

I know that it might not help you deal with all of the emotional pain you are dealing with right now, but you really are doing the right thing in love for Babe. I do not believe you are losing Babe, just letting her go for now.

You have a great privilege to tell her how much you love her and explain everything that is going on before that fateful day arrives. She may not understand everthing you say but she knows what you are feeling. You are doing the right thing. You are in my prayers. You will be okay.

Take care
John

You all are precious people. Thank you so much for your kindness and encouragement. Sometimes I look at Babe and she is trying to act normal - wanting to go outside, scratching on her scratch box, etc......I think, "How can I do this to her?" Last night she got up and could hardly walk and keep her balance. She sometimes has some kind of muscle contortion/contraction. Well, last night, she was all kinked up and kept on going sideways until she fell down. It just breaks my heart. My every thought is consumed with her. I'm already thinking what it's going to be like to come home every day and her not be here. She will be everywhere. I won't even want to be in my house. I know I can't shut down thought because my 6 1/2 month old depends on me........

I'm so sorry that the time has come for you to say goodbye to Babe. I know how much you love her and how you have agonized over this decision for months and months now. Please try to remember that you are doing what is best for her and she loves you for it. Babe will be somewhere free of pain and will always be a part of your life.

Try to remember all the wonderful times you have had with her over the last months. You will have memories to treasure for a lifetime. I was a thousand miles away when Alley got sick, and wasn't able to be there with her at the end, and when I made the decision to end her suffering. I envy you your time with Babe. You truly are doing the right thing.

That is definately the hardest to deal with initially. The night I rode home from the animal hospital after I let Sadie be put to sleep I didn't know how I was going cope. I kept saying "what am I going to do without my Sadie" over and over again. I slept very little, I could hardly eat or drink, and the whole world seemed to go grey.

I don't know how you will go on, but you will. You already have loving and caring friends here to talk to, and you have a young one to help you dwell less on negative thoughts.

Babe will never be forgotten. I have a feeling there are more people sending their warm and loving thoughts out to you than you think. You are not alone...and you won't be.

Take care
John B

Dear (((((((Boogi3)))))))

My heart truly goes out to you and to your precious Babe at this most difficult time. I'm sending you many hugs...



It has been over 3 years now since my sweet girl, Ernie-Bird went to Rainbow's Bridge. I was very blessed to have had her in my life from the age of 6 weeks to 19 yrs., 10 months. During the last three months of her life she would go between phases of periods of retching violently, weakness/dizziness (? small strokes - TIA's) and then periods of her being somewhat normal. Like you, it truly broke my heart to see my girl become a shadow of her former self .
I think that even before the day she went to Rainbow Bridge, I was already grieving her loss.

Without question, this was the hardest decision that I have ever had to make in my life. And, I will forever be truly grateful that I found Lightning-Strike in the early morning hours of February 8, 2004. There have been many wonderful members who were extremely instrumental in my healing.

Always remember that there are many people here who truly care about you and your darling Babe , and we will be here for you whenever you need us.

God Bless you and Babe,

Peace & Love to you and yours,

Denise

Boogi3, you responded to me when I first posted about Bue. I just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you. The only thing I can offer is this, tell Babe comforting things you used to say when she was healthy. I think it will ease her into her journey. Also do not isolate yourself, we are here to help you through this.

I've been crying all day. Am I doing this too early? If I don't, then it will be too late. She will have suffered. All of these thoughts are going through my head. Should I wait just a little bit more?

Take photos, including videotape if you have it. later, if you question your decision, "did I do this too soon?" you'll look back and see her decline, and it will reassure you that you released her with love when she needed it. You'll come to understand what an incredible act of love and caring it is to help Babe move toward the next phase of her being and out of her worn out body. We induce births routinely now, so the philosophical/ethical parallel is there for inducing death as well. Dying can be a long, painful, miserable process, and for you to spare her some of that is a gift. Peace for you both. Breathe, drink lots of water, eat well. You *will* move through this week --hopefully swiftly when it's painful, and slowly when it's precious. ~Kim

Hugs Boogi, I think you answered your own question. You have been crying all day, it is time. Ask yourself this, do you hold on for her or for you?
I had to let Bue go, you have to do what your heart will let you do. We all support you here.

Take care

Hi,
I'm new to this forum and I have been reading posts on this site all week. Reading everyone's stories has been very helpful. Today is the one week anniversary since I let my Murray go. I feel your pain. You are doing the right thing. Murray was sick for two months and was still a big love bug even when he was feeling lousy. I would feel elated when he did something 'normal' like scratch the post or jump on the bed, then felt the crushing heartbreak when he was unable to walk without wobbling or sitting down to rest.
Last Tuesday I knew it was time, he was in terrible shape. I'd hoped he would just pass at home but as my husband said "he doesn't want to leave you, you have to let him go".
I went to a shelter today to see the cats. I think it might be too soon for me but I have another cat, Marvin, who seems to be more neurotic than normal right now so we're thinking he needs a pal. Anyway, we didn't find the right one yet but on the highway driving from one shelter to another, there was a breif rainshower and we saw a HUGE rainbow! I've seen partial rainbows before but this was not just part of one- it was an entire arch, a bright, vivid complete rainbow!!! Other cars were slowing down on the highway too so I guess my husband and I weren't having a shared hallucination!! (we're in the Pittsburgh area and it wasn't supposed to rain until Wednesday) We took it as a sign that Murray is at the Rainbow Bridge and we'll see him again someday.
My thoughts are with you and Babe. And I want you to know you have helped me, I was right where you are just one week ago. Your angel's spirit will come back to you. Love does not end. Take care. Kathy

Thank you all again for your comfort. It is nice to know that you all understand this unfortunate situation. You are the only ones that truly understand ( I have a few friends/family that do too - but y'all understand more). I was looking at Babe this a.m. and she at me. How can I kill my best friend? I don't know if I can handle this. What do I do to keep from going crazy?

For one don't think you will be killing her...that is an act of murder. you would be freeing her from her pain. Think about how much you love her and ask yourself how you couldn't do this for her.

You are definately doing the right thing.

Take care
John B

Dear (((((((Boogi3)))))))

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. We are all here for you and we do understand your heartbreaking feelings over the declining health of your precious furbaby, Babe .

You have received so much wonderful advice here on this thread.
Sometimes I have a difficult time writing out what is in my heart, but here is what I want to say -
Our beloved furkids are very tough little beings -- Because they love us so much, they try their very best to "hang on" for us, because they can sense that we are not ready to let them go --- but, it doesn't mean that they are not suffering and/or in pain.
Animals are very good at hiding that they are even sick at all.

I went back to look at your previous posts and it looks that your first thread was started on February 5, 2007 and named, "Grieving The Impending Death Of My Beloved Cat."

I copied your first paragraph from that date:

It's been 3-4 years since my precious cat Babe was diagnosed with mammary gland adenocarcinoma. She had surgery x2 in 2003 and no more recurrence of the cancer until now. She had another tumor removed 4 weeks ago. I took her to a specialist the other day who did xrays and found that she has mestastases to the lungs. He has given her weeks to less than 2 months to live.


Back then, the specialist gave Babe less than 2 months to live...... God bless your girl -- she has hung on for 7 & 1/2 months. I believe that's because of your love for her and her love for you. Perhaps today would be a good time to go back and read your older threads, if you haven't already.

It is my belief that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, and sometimes (in my life), I really have questioned that -- but, in different situations that 'seemed' too hard to handle, I believe that God either held my hand or carried me through whatever crisis I had to go through.

I truly believe that YOU will be okay -- we are all here for you. Please believe that you are stronger than you think.

God Bless you and yours, my friend,

Peace & Love,

Denise

I apologize in advance for the length of this, but I thought it might help you to hear more background about my own story. It's just another perspective that might hopefully help in some way. In no way am I trying to change your mind about anything, but am offering this as in an anticipatory sort of way, to hopefully lessen any chances of future regrets you might have, and ONLY because your decision is bothering you still. (everyone else was writing at the same time as me, so I'd missed seeing what they'd already said and have since edited only bits of this)

For me, if my girl hadn't been so obviously dying (no longer able to get up; refusing to eat at all on her last day - only one day of this, with the day prior eating much less than normal, but still eating), I couldn't and wouldn't have done it. I'd spoken to her 2 vets about possible, likely and not-so-likely pain issues and also spoken to a friend of mine who's a retired human doctor (who's seen lots of dying people) about same. I was trying my hardest to not take her life away before she was done living it, yet also trying to spare her undue suffering. And that's where I may differ from some others about what "suffering" means to each individual.

While most of us don't want to have to live through great physical or emotional pain, a certain measure of each is pretty much inevitable for most of us before we die, and many of us also 'suffer' with various pains throughout our lives (I know I have), so I don't believe that NO suffering whatsoever is even an option for most of us, unless we have a sudden, fatal accident, and even then, it depends. I think it becomes more a question of just how MUCH suffering one can take or allow. That was part of the reason I also tried to weigh this decision against what many humans go through when they're dying from different diseases/conditions. And since my Mother had been hospitalized (for half a year) and died not too long before this, I had a ready example at hand of the same sort of thing. Despite her many, awful conditions/diseases, my Mother wasn't ready to die sooner than she did. Just as I couldn't have taken her life before it was very clear she wasn't going to make it (had I even had this choice) because of what my Mother was like, no more could I do this with my beloved girl - the same ethical standards applied. So for me, it became more about the critical question of trying to get the timing as good as is ever possible, carefully trying to measure and balance any pain issues along the way. And we had things on hand (from her vets) to do this for my girl, some of which I used in her last 2 days.

But this was also because I knew my girl inside and out, and so knew she was a fighter (like my Mother had been), so it would have equally felt like a betrayal to her if I'd acted too soon. Since she'd (we'd) been battling her progressive kidney disease for many years already, I knew she'd keep fighting to stay alive until she no longer had a choice. And of course, I had to respect that, because it was HER life, not mine. Her needs superseded mine. Had she not been like this, though, my considerations would have had to have been different. Additionally, I'd also had various communications done (by different communicators, who all came back with the same answers about this), both near to her time and through the years before this, where not only she, but even her (passed) brother had said that I would end up eventually having to help her cross the veil. So everything in total was taken into account as I went through this with her. Were it not for all this, I don't know how I would have coped with this decision at the time.

However, her brother Sabin had already taught me, through his terrible death years before, that this can also be a good, and sometimes much better thing, depending on the individual and the circ*umstances. I was totally unprepared and a real greenhorn with this kind of thing back then, and he did suffer too much, too long, even for him and who he'd always been (an even bigger fighter!). I'd made my big mistake with him... and vowed never to be quite that ignorant and uninformed again in matters of life and death. But I'm sure I'll still make my share of mistakes, as everyone does. And btw, Sabin's cancer had metastasized to his lungs, too, and extremely rapidly. As well, it was mere moments after I finally gave in and accepted that he had to leave, that he did. As Denise mentioned, often this IS all they're really waiting for. (with my girl, that was different, as I accepted her condition earlier on)

Despite all this, it wasn't any easier.....only different. In fact, it became even MORE important for me to do my very best (so even more pressure), and I still wasn't totally w/o some guilt and regret afterwards, but that has for the most part subsided some now. This is how impossible it can feel, no matter how 'prepared' one might be.

It might be better for you if you can just try to accept that you will feel "crazy", for as long as you're going to and that it's acceptable to feel that way. That doesn't mean you are, only that you feel that way. It's a natural part of both anticipatory grief and 'after'-grief. When you love someone, there's no getting around it. You can no more "keep from" feeling crazy than you can from loving who you do, when you know you have to give up their physical presence in your life. You will handle this the same way we all do - in your OWN way, which will be the right way for YOU, no matter how awful and confusing it feels. How you can do this is just as individual. (the point of my story above) Personally, I found that focusing exclusively (except for basics) on whatever I had to do for my girl gave me the most strength to get through each day, each moment. It was an honour and privilege to serve her and provide whatever I possibly could on every level I could, even while I was falling apart at the seams. At least I knew I was making the most of her remaining time with me and wouldn't regret that. If there's any time to try one's best to live as cats try to teach us to ~ in the moment ~ it's at times like this.

But that doesn't mean you have to be all alone in this, because we're all here to share what it's like and to understand all those feelings of helplessness, sorrow and more, wherever we can.....usually very easily. Let us know how you and Babe are doing, but only IF you can, or want to. We'll be here, whenever. Holding you and Babe in our hearts.......

Oh, I remember feeling EXACTLY this same way! In fact, the same question, word for word, is written in my journal 5 years ago when it was time to let Tinsica go. We'd been together 18-1/2 years. The feeling you have now is completely normal for the cir%%stances. Please know that afterwards, that feeling will fade. You'll see her death for the inevitable long decline that it was, and after you gain some distance from it, it won't feel like you killed your friend, it'll feel like she died. Hang in there.

And too, only her body's going to die on Saturday. She'll still be as alive and rambunctious in spirit on Sunday as she is this evening. By Saturday night, she'll have shrugged off that ailing, sickly body and will be feeling light, frisky, and deliciously free. And she'll still be right with you, her spirit within feet of you. Especially at first, when she knows you'll need her most. I'm not religious in the least, but events of this past year have taught me, to my very core, that our spirit, our soul, the energy that enlivens and inspires this meat suit we wear, was here before this body, and is here after this body. She's not going anywhere, she just needs to be free of her body, and bless you for easing her with that. ~Kimberly

Kimberly,I just had to say that your post left me in tears.You speak straight from the heart and it really touched me.She is going thur such a trying time right now but she will get thur with all of our help.Our thoughts are with you and they will be on saturday as well.I hope you know that you are doing the right thing for her.She loves you and she knows you will never forget her.My thoughts are with you and please take care.Keep us posted on how your doing,we understand the pain your going thur and we can help ease that pain. Sincerely,Renee (Sox's MOm)

I feel like I'm betraying my Babe by taking her in tomorrow. Please tell me something to help me not go crazy....

It's really no betrayal when your loved one is rapidly failing anyway. I think it's more like a sacred pact between 2 souls who love each other and would spare each other pain if they could. You can spare Babe any more loss of quality living. And so you'll be coming from that place of love and unselfishness. You're momentarily giving up your ego-based self, in favour of something much higher and grander......a love-based Self. There's nothing more noble than that in a relationship. Think of all the people who would have loved to have been able to euthanise their human loved ones, for their sakes, but couldn't legally do so. That is at least as much torture as what we face when we do have this option. You're not doing anything wrong if she's at the end of her fight. When things reach that point, rather than being UNfaithful (ie. betraying her), you're being FAITHful to her, keeping her from further harm and a more painful existence.

You'd said yourself, you'll likely feel guilt no matter which way you went with this, so perhaps you need to show the same kind of compassion towards yourself as you've shown your little one, and see this loving act as just another gift in a long line of gifts you've given her through the years. To my mind, it's not even the "final" gift, as many say, because each day you continue to love Babe is another gift, and she will receive it still.

I wish you and Babe all the peaceful feelings in the world today, and tomorrow, and ask all of your angels to surround you both with strength, clarity and love. Now, if I may be so presumptuous, go and LOVE that wonderful fur-girl of yours as much as you possibly can. We'll all be thinking of you both, holding you in gentle prayer, and waiting for you to allow us to be the ones you lean on....

What time is your appointment, in what time zone? so we can stand with you tomorrow. It's painful, but it's not wrong. It hurts only because you love her so. She'll be okay. By tomorrow evening, she'll be purring in relief. And you'll be crying. There will be pain for you, but you are strong and will be able to get through it -- frankly because there is no other option. And when that tiny flicker of relief washes through you -- that the shoe finally fell, that you don't have to bear the heartache of watching her fail away -- let yourself have that relief. Babe wants it for you too. Let it wash over you in a celebration of her life, that you were lucky enough to share it with her and see her through to the end.

Today is the worst day. Tomorrow will be almost as bad, but at least The Waiting will be over. And you can move to the next stage, even though you won't want it to be where you are.

It is what it is.

You are both right where you're supposed to be.

It is what it is.

Breathe. Drink lots of water.

It is what it is..... Much affection, Kimberly

I'm with Kimberly and all the others. I will stand with you and your beloved Babe tomorrow. Imagine all of us there with you and the light and the love that surrounds you and your sweet friend.

It is a kindness, sometimes. And a gift to your Babe. Her time here is almost over. But what a time, right?

I'll ask my sweet Milo to catch her, (he loved cats). Please be good to yourself. She was lucky to have you, as you were lucky to have her.

Our love and condolences. We will hold you in the Light,

Sharon, Nori, Mickey, Bean, Lucy and George (and the zookeeper's apprentice, Steven)

SO SORRY that you have had to make this decision. Saying this, be assured that it is the most unselfish decision you have ever made. I have been a "Cat Person" since I can remember. We are truly special: sometimes others do not understand us. But saying that, my heart is with you tonight. Rest, knowing that others, others that you do not know personally but who know what you are feeling, are thinking about you tonight. Blessings to all.

My thoughts and prayers go with you both during this very difficult time. I have no words of wisdom to add to all of the wonderful posts above. I just wanted to let you know that I will be thinking of you and Babe.

Take care,
Ken Albin

We are all with you during this trying time. Love will be with you, here there and everywhere and Babe will become larger than life and her love will surround you, just like your love is surrounding Babe. The circle will never be broken, because it is made of a love that has become eternal. Hugs to you both.

Thank you all again - the time is today at 1140 CST. Please pray for us.

You and Babe are in my thoughts and prayers today, and I'm sending you comfort & hugs on this very difficult day.

God Bless you for helping your precious girl go from this life to the next -- You are setting Babe free from her body, her 'shell', and I know that she thanks you for giving her that gift.
She will ALWAYS love you, please don't ever forget that.

I know how terribly hard this is for you, we all do. We are (and WILL be), here for you.

God Bless you & Babe

Peace, comfort & Love,

Denise

I just logged on, and it is 9:47a my time (PDT), so you are at the vets right now. My eyes are closed and I am sending you love, I'm sending you hugs, I'm sending you peace in your heart. There are so many of us right now holding you in the light. We're behind you, to the right, and to the left. Your heart is breaking and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Peace peace peace hugs hugs hugs hugs kleenex hugs peace hugs hugs hugs kleenex hugs hugs hugs............. ~Kimberly