I just found this site when desperately trying to find some people to chat to after losing my beloved cat Sammy on Monday night. After being ill for 2.5 months with heart failure we had to have him put to sleep and it was such a hard decision. We have nursed him every day giving tablets, all the stress that goes with that, the ups and downs as he got better then worse, better then worse and then to have him put to sleep was the final blow. I am trying to tell myself I have done the right thing but feel so guilty - would he have got better? did we do everything we could? Deep down I know we did but that doesnt help knowing I could have had him with me longer - selfish I know.
I feel like my heart is literally gonna break I am longing to have him snuggle up to me and lie next to my pillow like he used to every night. I have been through this before with my family cats but never my own, my own responsibility apart from anything - he was like a baby to me and I cant believe he is not here anymore. I know the pain will ease but that doesnt help me now. I am getting married next week and what should have been such a happy and exciting week is now far from either of these things. I even feel selfish for thinking that.

Dear (((((((Ray)))))))

I am so sorry to hear about your beloved furkid, Sammy . I am always saddened when I see a newcomer here, but.....Lightning-Strike is really the best place to come when dealing with pet grief. There are so many people here who understand exactly what you are going through.



From what you've said, it sounds to me that you definitely did absolutely everything that you could for your precious Sammy . I believe that somehow he relayed to you that he needed rest, and you were able to help him on his final journey.
When I first came here, my heart was broken in a million pieces --- I never, ever thought my heart would mend back together....until, one day a member from LS wrote to me,

"Denise, you took away Ernestine's pain so that she could finally be without pain".

Finally, it all made sense to me. My precious girl was suffering, and it was up to me to help end that miserable pain for her.
It was a final gift of pure love that I could give her!
We all love our furkids so much that we would gladly take on their pain.....

Please Ray, come here often, and write your feelings down...... I promise you that it will help you in your healing.
And, I know that several other members will be along to chat with you, too.



I'll bet you that Sammy would want you to be happy about your upcoming wedding..... You know that he wouldn't want you to be sad.... He LOVES YOU and will always be with you ---- right inside your heart.
When you close your eyes at night, he will be right there with you .

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts & prayers,

God Bless you and yours,

Denise

One of the things that really helped me heal from the depths of pain I was in was to remember what my beloved Diggz thought of me when I was upset.

He hated it. If I cried when watching movie or stubbed my toe or was sad, he felt all those things as well. He'd come up and whine, lick me, try to cheer me up, but he was so unhappy when I was.

After a month of darkness, I was able to remember Diggz as he was and what he would have thought of my crying everyday, sobbing and not eating or sleeping. He'd have not liked it, so I STOPPED.

Not to say I haven't had a back slide a few times, but I find I can now smile when I think of him, and know he'd be happy with me were he here.

I know it's still raw, but remeber Sammy with joy if you can.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Sammy, but do not beat yourself up over it. its easy to do but if you were being selfish you wouldnt have chosen to put him down when you did. I lost my Homie in '99 from heart failure and i know how hard it is, but its better to let them go before something terrible happens like a thrown bloodclot to the lung or brain or spine. He's in a place free from all the pain and fear, that was the kindest thing you could have given him. It's ok to feel sad, you lost a friend. Why don't you share a bit about Sammy with us? photos, stories etc...

Dear Ray,

I'm so sorry about Sammy. I know he was so precious to you, and I know that everything in the world looks a little different to you now. That always happens after a loved one, human or animal, passes on.

But you know, though their death means grief for us, it means relief for them. Relief and release from their bodies that pain them or burden them or are just worn out.

I believe absolutely, though, that their essence, spirit (whatever you want to call it) keeps living beyond the veil we can't see yet. We'll go through it ourselves someday, and see all those (human and animal) who have gone through it before us. I also truly believe that we'll be stunned at how close they've been to us all along.

Talk to Sammy in your heart. He hears you. You can listen to him, as well, if you try very hard. I'll bet you anything he'll be telling you: "I'm fine. I'm right here. ENJOY YOUR WEDDING!!!"

-- Michelle K.

Hi Ray,
I can feel the pain in your words. This is so hard. I hear what you are saying about being through it before with other cats, but this being different. What an understatement that is.

When my Sadie had to be put to sleep I didn't know if I could on. I literally felt like I was dying inside. I always thought people were crazy when they said things like " I could sleep or eat or do anything". I don't laugh anymore. I cry tears of empathy. My Sadie has only been gone for about 7 months and I still cry a few times a week...and I still feel the void where she was.

I can tell you this, if you are open and honest with your feelings and emotions it helps to move through this grief mode a little faster....but you can't rush things either.

It's hard for us guys to open up and cry sometimes with others but we need to. It is essential. This is the place to do it. We have all been where you are and we understand completely. We really do.

I remember in the beginning I was so tired of crying and wailing at the loss of my Sadie, but then all of a sudden I heard a voice inside me ask me " isn't Sadie worth all of the tears in the world?". It helped me. Your Sammy is worth all of the pain you are going through right now. Don't be afraid to let it all out no matter what anybody thinks!

It will get better, Ray. Just not overnight. You will always miss him, but you will not always come apart at the mention of his name or the sight of one of his toys or a tuft of hair he left behind. Have hope that it will get better....just not the same as it was. Nothing or no one will ever replace, Sammy. I know that you know that in your heart.

Just be good to yourself right now and stop with the guilt. Every one of us feels that in the beginning, but don't let it overtake you.

Take care
John

Hi Ray.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Especially when you are about to be married. The others have said helpful things, that your Sammy had a good life and wants you to be happy. Please don't feel guilty, as you had no choice. It is often kinder to put a pet out of his misery when nothing more can be done.

It is one of the sad things in life that a pet's lifespan is much shorter than ours.

Take care,
Paris.