My beloved 14 year old cat Samson is at the hospital dying from diabetes. I found him 13 years ago living under a bush outside my apartment. I took him in and ever since he's been my best friend. He follows me from room to room, sleeps on my head, runs to greet me when I come home. There is a very strong, special bond between us and he's been there for me through a lot of very difficult years. I can't imagine my life without him.

Last November I brought a new baby home. I tried my best to give Samson the same amount of attention as before, but with a new baby who didn't sleep through the night, who picked up colds and viruses at daycare and my having to work fullltime on top of it all, I just couldn't do it. I didn't love my furbaby one bit less, only my time was more limited, not my love. But of course he didn't understand this. I could see it in his eyes, that he thought he had been replaced. Soon after my son came home, Samson was diagnosed with diabetes. I tried my best to give him the care he needed, but I think he was depressed and stressed. I knew him well enough to see it. He went downhill very rapidly, even though the vet had said with proper insulin and diet, he could live for years. I think he lost the will to live and it's my fault. I really tried to keep giving him the attention I had before, but I couldn't. I was sleep deprived and trying to adjust to big changes myself. I am a single mom with a baby who is completely dependent on me. I love Samson as much as ever, but I had too many other demands being made on me and he wasn't the center of attention anymore. I could see the change it was making on him. I tried to pay attention to him at night, after my son was sleeping, but it wasn't the same as before and I don't think it was enough. I could just see it in how he looked at me.

He's at the vet hooked up to IVs and the vet says he just isn't fighting to live. I think he thinks he isn't wanted or needed anymore. I am praying for a miracle so I can have even a little more time with him to show him how much I still love him. I want him to die knowing he is loved and treasured, not feeling unwanted. Even if I only had him for a few more weeks, I would do everything to make it up to him. I can't stand the thought that he is sitting in a cage thinking he was replaced by my son and I didn't need him. I adore this cat and will never forget the love and friendship and devotion he gave me and I feel I let him down. He will have to be euthanized in the next day or two unless there is some drastic improvement.

Hi Shanta,
I'm sorry for what you and Samson are going through, but don't blame yourself. Samson knows you love him and always will...and he loves you. Cats are very intuitive and really can read your emotions. Don't beat yourself up. Samson wouldn't want you to do that.

I will pray that he makes a recovery. I know how hard this must be for you. Keep trusting God to do what is best for you and samson. I pray that he gets better so that you can hold him in your arms and tell him how much you love him.

Take care
John B.

Shanta

I lost my beautiful boy 2 days ago and he was special like your boy is to you. I too have a memory of when I bought my daughter home and he had to be locked out of my bedroom and I remember him sitting looking through the glass doors at me, so confused and puzzled (and probably hurt). I felt so guilty but I knew I had no choice and later she moved out and he moved back in (to his rightful place). But that look still haunts me. But Shanta like you I had no choice. There is only so much one person could do and your boy has had a wonderful life with you. At 14 he would not have wanted or needed as much attention from you. He knows how much you love him. Go into the vet and sit with him and tell him how wonderful he is - he will know you are there for him. And hold him at the end like I did with Nelsie so his last memory is you. Guilt is so much a part of our beloved pets deaths and I have learnt from this site we all do it - we find something to beat ourselves up about. You adored him and he knew it. I will keep watching for your posts and will be thinking of you.

Kips

Dear (((((((Shanta)))))))

I am sending you lots of comfort, hugs & prayers - to you and your precious boy, Samson .

Always know that Samson will ALWAYS love you...... I can tell that your bond with Samson is very, very strong -- You have his heart and he has yours.

I am praying for a miracle.

Please know that we are here for you.

God Bless you and yours,

Denise

Shanta, I'm so sorry that your Samson is not doing well. I hope that he will get better. Please, try not to be so hard on yourself. I can tell that you put every effort into including him and helping him to adjust to the new changes in your household. Having 2 full time jobs (your baby and work) I'm sure that you were exhausted by the end of the night. But you still found time for Samson. He knows how much you love him. Take care k9pal

Thank you all so much for your kind words of support. I'm so glad I found this forum.

Much to my amazement, Samson is actually doing better, against all odds and his vet's expectations. I really sometimes think he and I just connect psychically somehow and maybe he felt my hearfelt prayers and love for him and rallied himself. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but if he continues as stable as he suddenly became today, he might actually come home. I know even if he does pull through this latest illness, the diabetes is taking it's toll and we probably would only have a few more months together at best, but still I so want that time with him. I'm going to be so afraid to make that call on Monday to find out if he can return home or whether our time together must end.

Thank you all and I'll keep you posted. I think I'll be around here frequently even if Samson does come home, in order to help prepare myself for when we do have to part.

Shanta, I too pray for a miracle. I lost my own diabetic cat through my errors, don't ever think you didn't do right for Samson because you did, I swear I know. And if Samson is better by Monday, somehow this would make my pain for my own cat a little less, so I really hope you can bring him back home and rock him in your rocking chair, the coziest place for cats and babies alike! Just feed them and rock them, rock you son, rock your cat and let the rest of the world go by. Hugs, this is so hard, and you must be so exhausted, I pray that you get the strength that you need, you are beautiful, take care.

I think Samson "heard" you. I remember being away from home visiting my brother. When I returned, my male cat was very ill - probably aggravated by the stress of me being away. I took him to the vet and apologized for having to leave him there. I told him that was the only way I could take proper care of him. He looked up at me, and I felt like he understood that I wasn't deserting him. He started to get better right after that.

Later, he developed diabetes and had a couple of good years with the insulin. I had to do the hard thing because his kidneys were failing and it was cruel to keep him going. I hope Samson has a few more good months or years with you, too!

I think that you somehow communicated with Samson, and that is why he is getting better.

Shanta,
I'm so glad to hear that Samson is making progress even if it is slowly. The prayers are working. I will continue to pray.

John

Shanta,

I'm so sorry for what you and your Precious kitty are going through. Ask the vet if you can put a pillow-case from uour bed, a pajama top...anything with your scent on it, in the cage with him. Maybe this will help to comfort him. This worked for an old cat of mine I nearly lost during a prolonged hospitilization.

Your little family is in my thoughts and prayers. May Samson make a speedy recovery.

Mack's mom,

Dayna

"You in heaven be aware...when my day comes, I will be there.
Then open your gates and you will see.
On wings you gave, he'll fly to me.

Fly to me, and never part...triumphant, undivided heart."

My dear Samson is back home and so far doing okay. He's so thin though and his long black hair is quite matted. But he seems happy to just be sleeping by my side. The vet warned me to be realistic about how much time we have left, probably only 2-6 months, so I plan on fussing over him as much as possible until the end. I really can't bear the idea of losing him. Thank you all for your support. I'm finding this forum to be a wonderful source of comfort.

Hi Shanta,
I'm so glad that Samson is home. Keep praying that he lives a longer and healthier life than anyone could imagine. You never know. Whenever it is time for god to call him home it will be the right time and He will give you the grace to deal with it now. Just take advantage of the time you have right now, and realize what a precious gift it is. Love Samson like there is no tomorrow.

John

What a joyous thing you got exactly the miracle you prayed for. You got your second chance. My best to you both! ~Kimberly

What a blessing you have received! Enjoy your time together and spoil him mercilessly.

How's Samson? How are you?
~Kimberly

He's still doing well. Still very thin and I have to encourage him to eat more at each meal but he seems content. He's moving around much more than he had been and starting to follow me from room to room just like he always has before he got sick and depressed. I think he knows how happy I am to have him home. I hope that makes him fight to stay healthy. Thank you for asking. He's still my baby and I am enjoying each day with him since coming so close to losing him.