Having a particularly sad day today.
I just miss my Little Girl so so much. I want her here snuggled in my arms, purring, licking my face and gazing into my eyes (when I had her in my arms, all was right with the world). Sometimes it feels like such a desperation, even though this is all part of the process.It's been just over 3 months and I wonder how I've survived. Well, I I know that the answer to that is thanks to all of you here at LS.
I've gotten some "signs" from my Little Girl---some in the form of rainbows and some in the form of a particular kind of bird whose voice sounds like Little Girl's. First I'll share a rainbow sign and I'll end with one of the bird ones that just blew me away.
After Little Girl passed on, I couldn't picture doing anything fun again, or at least not for a long time. I was in a little dance group and even before her death I wasn't sure whether I'd participate in the recital because I wasn't confident enough in a couple of the steps, and recital participation was optional anyway. About 2 weeks after she passed on, I was getting the feeling---as though it was coming from Little Girl---that I should dance in the recital. So for some reason I went to my closet to look at the outfit (black pants, blue T-shirt with scarf) that I would be wearing... when for the first time it hit me that the scarf was a brightly colored rainbow! And the tag on it said "783 Freedom Rainbow"... And that each dancer's T-shirt would be a different color of the rainbow.... Oh, and after the dress rehearsal, I was driving home when I noticed a big rainbow in the sky! I got several other rainbow signs too.
Now for one of the bird ones: About a year ago a friend gave me 4 or 5 little packages of seeds she'd come across, that I hadn't gotten around to planting. Finally on June 6th I felt like doing a little indoor gardening, so I got them out. I was in the middle of working on them when I heard the Little Girl bird! So I ran to my screen door and looked and listened to a beautiful concert. When the bird was finished, I went back to working on the seeds. That's when I noticed the name on the package of seeds I had been working with when I'd heard the bird: Bird of Paradise. It was Little Girl, reminding me she's in Paradise!!! The message was delivered by a bird who has her physical voice. I immediately felt uplifted. Then, I noticed the date on the package: "Packed for 1987 "..... 1987 was Little Girl's birth year! I knew this was from her, to comfort her Mommy.
I am so grateful.Writing those stories down and sharing them with you has helped me to feel a little better today. I hope they help to comfort all of you, too, as a reminder that all of our furred/feathered/finned babies are in a state of bliss.
p.s. I'll let you know if the 17-year-old seeds come up. Whether they do or not, I got my sign.
