Hi,

I'm preparing to begin the process of letting go of one of my best friends and could use some input from others in the same place.

When I took her in in 1995, she was to stay with me for three days. Her three days are almost up now and I know I need to accept that.

She is fifteen and beginning to slow down rapidly. We've had almost thirteen lovely years together. I am only now beginning to consider paliative care for my sweet friend. I'll have a few blood tests done to check kidney, liver functions etc but I feel it would be cruel to do too much else.

She has had a few episodes of complete lameness due to arthritis, and what may have been a seizure. Her vet and I agree that the time is coming nearer.

With this last episode, I was truly torn. Our vet's office was closed, as was another kind, local vet's office. This left the only option, a large university hospital where she had never been. I felt it wasn't right to rush her there (to spend, perhaps, her last hours in fear and confusion). I did not take her. I sat close with her until her breathing returned to some semblance of normalcy and she seemed to rally a bit.

The next thing I knew, she was next to me in the kitchen, wagging her tail and checking out the contents of the fridge. Like it never happened. Two weeks later, she's still doing pretty well.

These episodes are becomming more frequent and more frightening. I want her to go easy. I want to be near her when she does. I want to be confident in the decisions I make and am having trouble knowing exactly what that is.

In retrospect, I don't feel guilty about not taking her in. I just wish I knew for sure that when the time comes, I'll do the right thing and that she won't have to suffer needlessly b/c of my decision.

Hmmm..

Thank you for any insight you may have.

All I can say is I'm sorry and I know how you feel because I'm in the same boat as you with my precious Babe! Hang in there - it really sucks!

Zookeeper, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It's so hard to know when cats are in pain because they don't like to show it, but I believe there will be no question for you when the time comes. Like Boogi3, you will have to follow your heart and look for the signs and be thankful for ever day you have with your baby.

With Sadie it was very quick and the choice was pretty much made up for me, put her down or take her home and wait for the excruciating pain and eventual death to overtake her...which the vet said would be very soon. I could not let my best friend suffer. I could not even let her begin to suffer so I let her go to a place of peace for her.

You are in my prayers
John B

it,s so hard when they get old and start having problems.i tried to kid myself that mine were okay,they still went out for walks,i couldn,t admit that they were slowing down.read my story in the archives(page 3-the nightmare has happerned again )you might find it helps you a bit.if there is help then take it.you will know when the time is right because to see her suffering so much that it just tears you apart you will find the strength.you will set her free from her suffering and take on all the pain yourself.i had to let both my girls go within 9 weeks of each other after 14 years by my side.even after 6 months i still feel empty without them,they were my life but i had to let them go .hopefully your a way from this at the moment,vets can do good things and control problems,but when the time comes,you will know the right thing to do and she will thank you for it and move on to her next stage in life ,running free and happy as she once did.it,s very sad that they live such short lives but at least they were with us.you were meant to be together.i hope things work out for you.it,s hard times ahead.

Thank you, everyone for your sweet replies.

I'm going to meet with the vet next week, just to talk about how things are going and some blood work. I definitely don't want her to have to suffer, so I will let her be helped along if necessary.

In February of last year, I did make that decision for Milo, and I know it was a mercy. With a sedative before hand, he fell asleep on his bed, with his three cats, Nori and his Dad and I right with him. He was fourteen.

Hey, that's how I want to go, with the people I love most in the world there to see me off!

My peace with Milo's passing let's me know that it's gonna hurt like hell, but we'll all be ok. We had a wonderful journey together, we're lucky.

*she has a good rescue story, I'll try to share it soon

You said it so well.....we're lucky to have had them for the time we did. No matter what, it's never long enough. And you are right, as painful as it is you & your family will survive, and I'd bet a buck that as some point in your lives another sweet furbaby enters your lives & showers you with love. The true beauty about animals is they all love you in their own way, they all have their own little habits that make them dear & different.....so there is no pressure on them to "replace" a lost one.

There is never a right or wrong answer when you're faced with old age & illness in your pets. The only thing that matters is that your decisions are made in their best interests......& some of this can be partly from your vet's advice (if you have a good one who you trust, which I did, and sounds like you do too). But you also have to listen to your heart. Only you know how your baby feels. My Peaches told me stuff I tried to convey to my doc but during our visits he didn't see this....but I knew when the time was right.

Your girl is obviously loved. Let us know what the doc says. Maybe it isn't time yet for her. But if it is, know that you have given her all the love you could have. That's the best gift we can give them.

Zookeeper, I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved freind declining health. I to just recently had to make that painful decision in letting my best freind go to rest eternial. On my post feeling guilty we talk about euthanasia.Noone can really make that decision for you, (when is it the right time?) Only you can make that choice. While agonizing over the thought of did I do the right thing people pointed out to me these question. Was he in pain? Was he suffering? How was his quality of life? Maybe those questions will help you in deciding . Good luck and I hope all is still well with her.