Hello everyone,
I stumbled upon this site when looking up the vet's site and I'm glad I saved it for future reference. On Mon. June 21st, My husband and I took my beloved Carlyle cat (girl) to be put to sleep. She was 20 years old and I had her since she was 1 month old. I miss her so much, I can hardly stand it. The first couple days were actually the easiest. I went about my business with sadness but was able to cope. Today is just miserable. I noticed her last can of food was still in the fridge and just lost it. Couldn't bring myself to throw it away. It's still in there.
My husband has been supportive and misses her too. But he was just her Daddy for the last year and a half. We have 2 other cats who came with him, Baxter and Tigger. They never did like Carlyle because, being an only "child" for so many years, she was always cranky towards them. They would attack her every chance they had. Oddly, they have been acting strangely all week. Like they sense the change but are not quite sure what to make of it. They have been fighting with each other daily. Something they rarely did before.
Anyway, already I am feeling better, getting this all down and off my chest. I have to pull myself together and get ready to go to work. Bye fore now and thanks for listening.

Jellybean,
I'm so sorry to hear about Carlyle, it's never easy to have to make the
decision to release your little furbaby from the pain. My kitty Buster
was 15 years old and we had to put him to sleep on June 18th. Just
know that she will always be with you in spirit and you'll always have
wonderful memories to cherish....

God Bless,

Karen

Hey JellyBean,

So sorry to hear about Carlyle. I had my little 16-year old Yorkie-Poo, Hannah, put to sleep on April 19, and it's still difficult. I know that it feels unbearable right now. You had Carlyle 4 years longer than I had Hannah -- so much time spent together. It's truly a devastating and life-changing event. It takes time to get through it, and there are so many ups and downs -- up a little, and then way, way down. I still miss Hannah with all my heart, and I know I will for a very long time. She was my best girl ever. Such a sweet, precious little one. It was just the two of us.

I'm sure your other animals know that Carlyle is gone and even though they they didn't get along that well, they're probably missing her too. It's all so sad.

I'm glad you found this site too. There are some wonderful people here. We've all been through this, and I hope you'll keep reading and posting. Know that you are not alone.
Take care.
Marcia

Jellybean,

20 years is a long time to have had your fur-daughter with you. She knew, and she knows, that you are the BEST Mommy she could have been blessed with.

Have you read the article at this site on guilt? I found it amazingly healing.

Carlyle is in bliss now (she was in bliss when she was with you physically, too, of course, but now she's 100% spirit and will never know any kind of pain). I believe that in the realm she is in, there is no time and space. So she doesn't feel "separated" from you! She's still right there with you. And when it's your time, you'll be fully reunited, because you'll be 100% spirit too!

It's been 94 days since I lost my Little Girl. Sincer her passing, I've gotten signs from her, in various forms. These are so comforting---and yet I miss her physical form so so much. When she was here in every aspect, I could look into her eyes and feel the love without the tears. She was almost 17 when I lost her to her worsening heart defect. .... The first several years of her life were difficult; she stayed by me through 2 abusive relationships, etc. etc. etc. I am just thankful every day that I had 7 years to make up for all that I put her through. I used to tell her every day that I loved her more than the day before. I've never experienced a love like this. ...But I'm seeing and believing that it's not the end.

I am glad you found this site. Write whenever you need to! We're all here for you.

Sending you much comfort and love,

Kathy

Hi JellyBean:

If you had to stumble onto a Pet Grief site, and I am very happy that you came here ----- though, I am sad that you
had to find us at all!!!

Your Carlyle, in terms of age, reminds me of our Ernestine..... She was put to sleep on 2/7/2004, and she was just
2 months shy of her 20th birthday....

I understand about "the can of her food in the fridge"; I think that we want to "hang on", no matter what....

As Marcia and Kathy said, "Keep reading and posting because really, we are all here for you!!!"

And as Karen said, your beloved Carlyle WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU IN SPIRIT!!!!

It is sooooooo difficult...... In the beginning, I kept thinking that I was seeing Ernie out of the corner of my eye; and
I would sometimes call out for her.....
It was difficult for her dad Ben, because in the morning when he was getting ready for work, and shaving.... Ernie would jump up onto the bathroom sink...

Well, she wanted her water..........Often times, when Ernie heard Ben's alarm, she'd make her way to the bathroom sink, so.............she was there first, and he'd have a cold water shave!!!!

There are soooooooooo many wonderful, caring people here on Lightning Strike... And, it's a group of people that I am grateful to be a part of!!!!!

We were lucky, to have our furbabies for that long.....Ernie had thyroid problems, and then she had some heart problems, and then kidney problems.... She used to retch sooooo violently..... After she had lost 25% of her body weight in 3 months, sure, she could still jump up on the bed, on a chair.....but, that's not "quality of life".....
She was miserable, and we could tell.

But, there is no question in my mind............she's having a great time over Rainbow's Bridge, with all of her friends.
I'm sure, by now that she & Carlyle have met, and are "hanging out" with other furbabies from this site...

I hate using the term, "Pet", because, after all, they are family..... And, not all are furry..... Some are scaly, some have fins.....some have a hard shell on their back....etc, etc.....

Please, come back to the site and write, if you'd like, and read the posts......
It helped me 1,000,000 %!! No question...

God Bless,
Love, Denise

My dear new friends,
Thank-you so much for your support. It means the world to me. Today was a good day and our other furbabies have finally stopped fighting and are friends again. However Carlyle's food is still in the fridge.
I thank God every day that I had her for so many years. She truly was my little buddy. I, too was in an abusive relationship when she was a kitten. We got through that and many, many moves, a marriage and divorce and another marriage. In fact I had her for almost 2 years more than God had originally intendedm I think. Two summers ago, I was staying with a cousin while going through a divorce. Carlyle had always been an indoor cat but my cousin had left the back door open one evening and Carlyle wandered off into the woods out back. We searched everywhere for her. She never even made a peep. Finally, after 4 days of calling out and searching high and low, I gave into the notion that she had walked off to die. After all, she was old, declawed, overweight, and pampered. Even if she didn't die right away, how could my baby survive out there by herself? So I mourned her. Then 13 days after she walked off, she just walked back in one day. I barely recognized her. She was MUCH skinnier but it was her alright. I always joked that she had gone off to a spa somewhere.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll have my ups and downs. But I'm so glad I found you all here. Thanks once again.
Jackie

I am sorry for your loss. 20 years is a huge amount of time to share with a special fur-buddy. May your memories be good ones!

What a sweet-looking, adorable little baby. I'm happy you had the two more years with Carlyle.
Marcia

beautiful kitty! 20 years is a wonderful span--but I am sure "not long enough"!! lovely photo

I meant to thank Kathy for suggesting the article on "Guilt". It really did help. And can someone explain to me how to put Carlyles pic on the left like everyone else has a pic? I thought that's what I was doing with the attachment. Whoops.
Much appreciated, Jackie

Jackie,
Just go up to My Controls and click on that, then click on Edit Avatar Settings. You just click
browse to find one of your own pictures you have stored on your computer. I had to make Buster's picture
smaller, I made the picture 72X72....you can play around with it until you get it to the size you want.

Karen