I found I put my story in the wrong spot. It is quite long and have now tried to cut and paste into the right area. Sorry. Newbie under duress is all I can claim.

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doggy daddy,
i am so sorry for your loss of ellie mae. i wish i could take your pain away. it is so heartbreaking when we have to make the choice to end ones suffering. i understand the void in your heart, as i have two there myself. i know the song " the dance" by garth brooks.. my line i keep going back to is..i'm glad i didnt know the way it all would end, if i had the chance to do it all again..then i would'nt have missed the dance..
your story has moved me so much..as i am now struggling with an elderly pup who looks so much like ellie..shes 12 and is blind and since i have lost my girls last year..i don know if i could go thru it all again...but i do know i wouldnt have missed the chance to have them in my life no matter how much it hurts. i wish i could tell you it gets easier with time..sometimes it feels like it is and sometimes it just hurts so much. people here are so wonderful and they have helped so much. please know we are here for you always and i wish you peace and healing in your heart
luv
mcihelle

post continues here: http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.ph...wtopic=4001&hl=

I'm so sorry Doggy Daddy. I know you are feeling so lost and devastated right now. It just so damn hard. There really are no words to take away your pain, but there are many here who have the gift of compassion, and can truly offer words of encouragement as you struggle through this huge loss. Make no mistake it's not fun at all...but there is light at the end of the tunnel. It may take a while to get there but you will. Ellie Mae was lucky to have you and someday you will see her again.

God bless
John B

Thanks for your very kind words John B and Michelle.

I played "The Dance". Michelle, you gave me strength there girl. Oh boy.. I'm not crying all the time now.. in fact I've found some of my old usual "bouyant" self again. But when I do cry.. it is very intense. My face around my eyes hurt last time.

I'm also reminded to talk to her. So I'm talking to Ellie, using all her old nicknames(about 14 I think, Mufty-Moo, Mufty Dog, Dufty Mog, Dufty Moo,Dog Egg Layer-if you don't know that dog eggs are, you've never owned a dog-.Super Dog,Ell,Ellie,Black and Tan.
Talking to my Dad when he passed away three years ago helped me greatly. Him giving me some pretty neat signals also helped. He was diagnosed with liver cancer 2 years before he lost the fight.
Ellie was just fast. The vet said that animals bodies can adapt very well to a problem and mask it,even from the animal itself. So by the time -we- see it, it usualy very very advanced.

Sometimes we both say, if hadn't given them those cooked bones.. but as the vet siad, the symptoms would of appeared not too far down the track. This brought it forward. But -what if- we knew earlier.. what if we'd. oh,don't go down that path.. it'll never end.

Photo taken last month. We're on the trail of a rodent. She was an impressive mouser. one evening my wife heard a comotion under the house. Out comes Ellie and myself. I couldn't help it but I did my best Steve Irwin.. CRIKEY! You should of seen her go that rat!!

Doggy Daddy.