my heart is broken and my world is shattered. on mother's day, my little chihuahua, bubba took ill suddenly and was gone in the blink of an eye. i still don't know what happened. one minute, he was here, the next he was gone. he wasn't even three yet. i am still in shock over this. and now, my sweet precious is gone. she passed away of old age today and my daughter and i found her. she was born just five months after my daughter. i am not dealing with this very well. i want to comfort my little girl, but i can't see through my tears. why must this be so hard? i am not ready to say goodbye. the past year and a half has been so devastating for my family. we have lost so much.

i miss them so much.

My heart goes out to you. There have been just too many losses for your poor heart in such a short while, how hard all this must be for you. In less than one year, losing your 18+ year cat, your 3 yr old chihuahua and now your sweet old Precious must be a real test of strength. Hang on, take it easy for a while, show your daughter the way,
that it's okay to let your feelings out, that there is indeed a time where one must grieve.
As for trying to explain or understand why things happen the way they do, well if you can tell me, I'd sure like to know. Nothing one can do except to go through all the emotions and tears again;mourning can never become familiar. Let the tears flow, be good to yourselves. Take a lot of walks in beautiful settings or go visit art museums, they really change your perspective, I always learn something after having immersed myself in nature or art, do try it see if it works for you. Courage and may Brat show you the way, the light at the end of the tunnel. Take care, my thoughts are with you.

We are never truly ready to say goodbye. My story is similar to yours. Why must it be so hard? Hard demonstrates the love and affection we have for our furbabies. It has to be hard, I don't like either. I do not have children. I believe that I would not be a good role model. But if I did, I would cry with them whether it was right or wrong by anyones opinion. I would not be able to help myself. To hold back would not be true to my feelings.

"Goodbye" comes with the sickening introduction of the grief process into our lives. Its gut wrenching intrusion can be hazardous even to people who have knowledge of the monster.

If I was to have a child exposed to grief such as this, along the way I would definitely try to impart as much wisdom about its many faces as I could. I believe schools in their quest to teach us how to try and be successful and live to the same degree...do not teach us anything about death. The very first one to a child (and I remember mine clearly) is frightening. Confronted with feelings that overwhelming for me required a signifigant amount of guidance which was not present at that time and was no fault of my parents. We just never spoke of it. That was wrong. We know this now.

I feel for your loss. I know your pain. I lost one very youg furbaby and then three months late another. That grief still effects me from time to time today. Come often and write much. We are here for you.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My heart breaks with you; these posts always break our hearts, even when it helps (or begins to help) to come here and write it out. It's so scary to think of how quickly we can lose our furbabies, so without warning, though the devastation is the same.

What I want to say, though, is that I think it's okay to let your child see you cry about this. You can comfort her and weep at the same time. Let her know that it's a natural thing to cry over a beloved pet, and let her see your tears as proof of that. I think if you're trying the strong, stiff-upper-lip approach for her, she might feel that's what's expected of her. (Those are just my thoughts, though, so take them or leave them as you see best. You're the one who knows your daughter).

I'm thinking of you, with tightness in my throat.

Much love,
Michelle (Lucy & Josie's mom)

I think it's OK to let your daughter see you cry. After all it's normal to cry after you've lost someone you love.

Magdalene

This is a time where it is important for family members to come together and share their grief. Helping her to understand and deal with the loss will help you as well. May the upcoming year be kinder to you both.

I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. We all know how hard it is and are here for you. I pray that God eases yours and your daughters emotional pain. Stay positive yet honest with your emotions right now as you go through this hard time. Remind yourselves how much you loved your Precious baby, and remember how much she loved you. You made a mark in each others lives that cannot be taken away.

This is just my opinion, but don't hide your emotions from your daughter. There is nothing unhealthy about showing the depth of your feelings to another soul, no matter who it is. Kids watch the way you handle problems. Show her how human you are, but assured her, as you are assured that there is light at the end of this soul wrenching tunnel.

Take care
John B

i just wanted to thank everyone for their kindness and support. these past couple of days have been really hard. today we planted a rosebush that my daughter picked out for precious. we are slowly working our way through this. we have a ways to go yet.

vicky

Vicky, I am so sorry - reading your post broke my heart. It truly makes me wonder if they all needed to be together somewhere, and I believe that you will be reunited with them someday. There is no other explanation when things like this happen. I know the pain all too well and am sending hugs and warm thoughts your way..try to get through each day, be kind to yourself, and let yourself grieve however you need to. This is painful, but we are all here for you to help ease the pain however we can..

Thinking of you,

Jen

I am so sorry for your losses, I can't imagine losing 2 beloved family members in the same year. Sounds like they were very very lucky to have such a good home. And to lose one so young, only three, really breaks my heart.

I know it's hard with the holiday weekend, we lost our Misty three weeks before Christmas. Hang in there this weekend. Try to maybe take our daughter out for dinner, getting out of the house and doing something you would have done without the pets might give a few hours of relief. I am so very sorry for your pain. Like others have said, we are here to listen.....

Hugs, Misty's Mama

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your concern about comforting your daughter, but sometimes it is enough to just share your grief. Cry together, hold each other and talk about how much you both miss your dear friends. Let your daughter know how much happiness she gave these pets, and if you believe, let her know that they are with God now, whose love is greater than any we can give.

As a parent, it is not always necessary to "be strong." Sometime, being there, understanding and sharing your grief, memories and love is best comfort one can give.

My son was too young to understand when Daisy passed away, and in a way I am thankful for that because the loss was great. But, on the other hand, he missed the opportunity to know the best dog in the world (at least in my opinion),

Best wishes,

Daisy's Mommy

Hey Vicki,

I come from a family who has this real "thing" about showing emotion,usually the crying type. When I was a kid, we;d be watching some sad story on tv,and it was obviously a heart rendering episode.. and we'd all be putting our arms behind our heads, holding our breath , anything to stop any emotion show. I still do .. unless it's something very very real, like the loss of a loved one. It took me donkey's ages to get Dad used to me giving him a hug hello or goodbye.(He was from the old school.Handshake, or you're odd).

So as far as I'm concerned, -show emotion-. Show what some think of the weaker emotion. Which is kinda all wrong becuase, sorrow is I think the strongest. It's part of the love emotion. The more you love someone and you lose them,the stronger the loss is.

It's now the 2/6, Ellie passed away on Tuesday. I was absolutely useless Wednesday,Thursday. Only yesterday, Friday, have I eased up on the uncontrolable sobbing and did something constructive in my workshop. The same workshop where Ellie would come and lay down,shedding fur everywhere.

Let your young ones see you have a heart and are strong enough to show it.Perhaps, your daughter might see an opportunity to help and comfort you? This could be an opportunity for her learn about comforting someone . Emphasing that a family is team and at these dreadful times, the team needs to pull together.

Doggy Daddy.

Doggy Daddy , aint that the truth

I'm terribly sorry for your own very recent loss of Elly May, only last Tuesday, you are wonderful to be helping others here as well and I hope you will find a lot of comfort here, it's the best place for us poor souls. Your advice is bang on! Let's put it down in capitals:
IT'S OKAY TO LET THE TEARS COME DOWN!

It's totally normal to grieve when you have loved so much, when you have shared so much, when you have lost SO MUCH, when your life changes forever!!!!!
Why is it that we have to pretend all is well, why do we have to hide our pain? : for the comfort of others who are ill at ease with our grief ?
Comfort, like charity begins at home. Cry and hug one another if you are with someone who grieves with you , if you are alone, cry and hug yourself, just let it out and you will feel better eventually. This is what tears are for...to get the irritants on our souls out, to etch the memory of our pets on them and onto our hearts, to connect with our dearly departed as they leave their bodies for the spirit world.
Just believe, that for the great joy that was there is now a great pain but there will be the great joy for this great pain, later. Take care all of you, hope that somehow today will be a little easier for all of us.

hello, everyone. my 11 yr old son is still not doing so well. only time will help him. his psychologist is aware of our losses and is trying to help my son. my daughter doesn't really talk about bubba and precious too much anymore. she says she doesn't want to hurt me with her pain. i have told her it is ok, that she isn't hurting me, but she is determined. little steps, each day. i take care of their graves and their plants daily, and this helps. i can't feel them physically anymore, but i still talk to them and i can feel them in my heart.

on the downside of things, i think we are losing another one. his name is buddy and he is a russian blue kitty. he isn't really our cat, he belongs to our nephew, but he has been living with us for the past year. i had to send him to my sis-in-law this weekend. we have been battling renal disease for a very long time and i don't think we are going to win this round. we aren't really sure that it is renal disease, the vet isn't actually positive about what is wrong with buddy, we just know that something is and we can't treat it anymore. the treatments aren't working. we are waiting for news on buddy. my sisinlaw hasn't contacted us with the vet's report. i am afraid it is bad news and she doesn't want to tell me. i have had such a hard time lately, and the thought of losing another one is killing me. buddy has been so wonderful to me. after brat passed, he just took his time and a whole bunch of patience working on me. he knew i needed him, he also knew i had to come to him. please pray for buddy, he is a good kitty and deserves some peace in his life.

thank you all so much for allowing me to come here and express myself. it means more than you could possibly know.

vicky

The tears are streaming from my eyes,I am so sorry,I too have tried so hard to hide the pain from my children. I fully understand what your going through my Joe has only been gone 103 hrs 10 minutes and 23 seconds.I feel as if I'm going to die.He died a horrible death at the hands of a trusted care giver his own Vet/kennel.I'm so full of hurt,anger,guilt.I should have never left him.there will never be another Joe ever.