Hi Im new here, have been looking round the site and it seems a wonderful place for us who need to talk about our beloved pets to other people who genuinely understand what we feel for them.

I lost Butch 8 years ago this December and I still miss my big bear sooooooooooo much, I still cry regularly and my heart still aches for him. Butch was 18 when we had to let him go and the guilt eats me up still..I know it was what we had to do, but it still haunts me, I love him SO much, my heart broke that day and has never fully mended. He was the most special angel to me, such a character and ever so handsome

I hope he is happy now and back to full health, I hope he forgives me for letting him go, I hope I let him go at the right time, I hope he knows I ADORE AND LOVE HIM, I hope he enjoyed his life with us, I hope he didn't suffer and that he knows we did all we could to keep him comfortable for as long as we could, and I hope he is waiting for me when I pass xx

Thanks for sharing your story. I don't think that type of love ever completely goes away. IT's like losing a best friend, parent, or sibling. So you aren't crazy for having feelings many years later.

We are doing better 5 months after the fact, but I hardly doubt a summer or Christmas will go by that we won't think of our little guy either.

I am sure Butch knows you loved him and how much he still means to you. It sounds like you were a great parent to him and I know he is watching over you now.

December is a hard time to lose someone, too, with the holidays so close. We lost our Misty the first week of December, too. So I can relate to that.

Maybe with it being almost 8 years you can look into another pet in honor of Butch?? I know for us we feel like we could never have the relationship we had with Misty with another pet, but I am hoping that several years on I will be able to find that level of love again. That might be a good option for you a this point.

Thanks again for sharing your feelings about Butch, he sure was lucky to have you.....I don't the amount of time will ever completely make the loss go away, when you love someone, that love will always be there.

Hugs, Misty's Mama

Thanks for the reply, I do have another dog who is also deeply in my heart, Tasha who is 15 this year, I think the fact that she is at such an age it is bringing it all back to me, all the more than usual.
Im sooooooooo scared of losing her, she is a little babe, a wonderful girl, my love for her is as strong for Tasha as it was for Butchy but in a totally different way if that makes sense

Hi --

I'm so sorry about what you're going through about Butch. I'm sure he had a wondeful life with you. I understand a lot about feeling things many years later, as I started feeling about my sweet little Lucy dog very shortly after getting my just-as-sweet little Josie dog just last year. Josie renewed my love of animals, and makes me think about Lucy more than I have since her death a long time ago.

Things have gotten much better for me since I found this site, though, and I hope it works the same for you. Writing out your feelings and getting the writing out there where others can read it can help a great deal. You know that no one will judge you here, or roll their eyes while thinking 'you're still dealing with that?', or -- heaven forbid! -- say, "for heaven's sake, it was just a dog! or just a cat!" Humans who don't understand the depth of pet loss make it very hard for those who do understand to talk about what they're feeling. Everyone here understands, though, and you better believe you can come here and write about Butch all you want -- funny memories, sad ones, how much you miss him, what you'd like to say to him if he were still here, anything, anything, and it's all right. We're here for you.

I just want to say this, too, then I'll stop. You might always have feelings of guilt, sadness, things like that that come up in your heart with or without warning. What I've fallen into the habit of doing when that happens - and maybe this will help you, if you can remember to do it -- is after you have the horrible feeling or thought, just think, "But I always loved you, Butch. You know that, right?" Or just something positive like that. We don't know what happens to our pets after they die, so who knows but that Butch might be listening and wagging his tail to say yes, he knows you always loved him and you love him still, just the way he still loves you.

I'm glad you're here. You're so welcome here!!

-- Michelle

Hi and welcome.

Butch, it's funny you are talking about a Butch. I lost my very best friend and kittycat Butch 10 years ago. He was 22. I still miss that guy so much. I can't talk much about him without crying. He was my very best friend in the world. A part of my heart was ripped out then, and it's still not whole. I'm so sorry you lost your Butch.

I do think that Tasha turning 15 is bringing things back for you. Give her lots of love and kisses. Love her and enjoy her while you have her.

Love

Thanks all, it does help to express how I feel to people who care and understand, not just say "it was only a dog " I must admit my mum and dad were brilliant, I used to just ring them and sob, not speak just cry, that has eased off..now I just cry alone, as I don't think people understand how I still feel
Hope you dont mind but this is a little clip of my sweetheart Tasha, who is now 15 years young..think she forgets sometimes!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeoGrrLQK8s

I cut this one short as she was just about to make a deposit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjdVJ2o_rJM

Hope you don't mind me sharing my little baby

Hi Butch. For me it's three years to the day that my border collie died of sudden heart failure and the complications from it.
I don't think the sadness will ever leave entirely, though it certainly becomes something that one can live with.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss,as I am grieving myself. It all seems like a nightmare,I only wish it were.I miss Joe so much he was my everthing. I feel as if I can't even breathe without him.