Life stopped being fun the day my girl passed away. Sure, I'm back at work. Yes, the sleeping is better (not great, but better). Yes, I'm functioning. But nothing is any fun. There isn't anything to look forward to anymore. Life has lost it's colours and has become meaningless.

steph, read the pinned article above titled "a guide to the healing process."

having been active in the petloss community now for over 8 years, i have guided many a petlover and
the #1 remedy for a broken heart is time. the colors will come back, and things will be fun again, and
your memories will soon cause you to smile rather than cry. it just takes time, how much depends on
the person. what helped me was building this site back in '96 and starting the newsgroup, it diverted
my energies and thinking and allowed me to move on. doing a project in the name of the one you
miss can be very therapeutic. create a photo collage, write a story, get active at the local shelter, etc.
unfortunately, death is a part of everyone's lives. and as we grow older, i believe the deaths that occur
around us during our life help make us understand and be stronger for when our time comes. if you believe
in the rainbow bridge philosophy, which is essentially heaven's place for our pets, one day you will
be reunited with all the loved ones from your life. and it will be magnificent time is what it takes.

Steph - I remember when I lost my two... Everything (even in my memory) seemed grey and dull. I felt completely empty and drained and the world was a very ugly place for a while.

But our furry ones never lived that way. And they wouldn't want us to do so either. Do you know what you can look forward to? You can look forward to the summer, the wind blowing, the birds flying by, every meal and every bad joke you will hear. You can look forward to memories that aren't clouded with grief. Memories of kisses and playing and hugs... You can look forward to the pain lessening over time and finally, one day, to think of how wonderful your pet was without also falling apart.

We have all been there and believe me - the colours aren't gone. They are hidden and will be there when you are ready to see them again.

It is only colourless for now. Once you work through (and with) the grief, your life will be restored to you. I understand what you mean. I had my poor kitty euthanized on Sunday (Oswald), and I find it hard to believe that I will ever feel happy again. I had a 20 year old cat euthanized three years ago, and felt the same way then. I found it hard to believe that I could ever be happy again. I look back on my life with Carmen (the 20 year old) now, and I remember a lot of the good things. There is still a wistful pang in my heart, too, but I can see how what we shared was so special. I know that will happen again for me after losing Oswald, and it will happen again for you.

You feel the pain because you are a loving soul. Try to look at the hurt as a reminder of how much you loved and how much you cared.

The colors of life will return for us Steph. I know it hurts so much right now though. I know how you feel, I really do. If I happen to have a somewhat happy moment, if my husband says something to make me laugh I actually feel guilty. This is exactly how I felt when my mother passed away last year. I know a lot of people would be all agast at comparing the loss of a pet to the loss of my own mother, but the pain is just as deep, the loss just as heartfelt. This was my baby, I took care of him and put him first everyday of his life.....family is family, furry or flesh....

I just ordered a couple of books from a link on this sight about dealing with grief when you loose your furbaby....I'm really hoping they help. I'm also collecting my favorite pictures of Buster and making a collage....I cry when I look at them, but it's all part of the healing process.

Take care,
Karen