Today has been a bad day. It is almost 3 months since Nikki died. I still expect to see her everywhere I look. As fate would have it, everywhere I look I see pictures of German Shepards that look just like Nikki. We vowed to never get another dog because of the pain of losing them, but to be honest, I really do want another dog - no actually I want 2 dogs. I told my husband we could get a shepard and a samoyed (we had a samoyed and they are awsome) Nikki was so smart and loveable - I am so afraid that we will compare the new puppy to our baby. What experiences have you had with a new puppy after your sweetest friend has died? I feel so blue that I don't feel like doing anything. I used to walk with Nikki for miles. Now I sit around the house getting fat and feeling sorry for myself. Thank you for this wonderful site to sound off. Alot of folks around here feel that I should be over this by now. But how can you shut off your feelings and emotions like that! I thank all you kind folks for listening.
Thank you and God bless you all.
Ramona

Hi Ramona,
I can't believe anyone expects you to be "over it" at three months.....you will never get over it. You will reconcile it and learn a new normal.......but never over it. I lost my baby Parker 1 1/2 years ago and I still think about him every minute, he is in all my memories and is in everything I do. I cry still every few days (not every day like it was) and still have the immense aching in my heart to just touch him or smell him. Here is my experience with a new dog.....we got "Norman" about 2 months after Parker died (probably to0 soon) I felt like I needed that greeting at the door still and something to take my mind away from my horrible grief for just a few minutes at a time. Norman definitely has helped heal me.....but I do compare him all the time. I love him dearly, but he is my dog, he is not "the one" like Parker was. But he doesn't need to be, because I like you have already had that one......so Norman doesn't have a job.....I can just enjoy him while I have him. I still hug Norman and wish it was Parker......that doesn't mean I wish I didn't have Norman......but I miss Parker. So.....I don't know if that helps you at all, but I think it is all normal. You will love again, and you'll know when it is right. My thoughts are with you.

Parkers Mom,
Kerry

I'm so sorry...I'm approaching 3 months, too. We'll never be over losing our babies. Nikki was unique, beautiful, and a soul who made your life a happy one. How on earth could anyone expect you to be over such an enormous loss? I actually think a lot about how much different I am now and how much more I liked who I was when Mo was alive. It changes us. And Nikki's a tough act to follow, but you deserve to love and to be loved again. Not in that way - "the one" sort of way, as Kerry stated (so true), but it might be healing for you to open your heart again.

I know how you feel and I'm thinking of you...

Jen

Hi Ramona,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Nikki. I lost my Copper just over 3 months ago, and my Penny just last week.
There is no "time limit" to grief. If there is -- I would like to know exactly when my can finally be over! I still miss special dogs from years ago from time to time. I've loved and lost so many of them over the years, I know what kind of hurt you're talking about. Vowing to never get another dog is a way of protecting ourselves from every having to feel this kind of grief again. But for me, in hindsight, that love always outweighs the loss.

Parker's mom made an excellent point about Norman helping her heal after losing Parker. Going from having a dog to not having a dog is a loss in and of itself. It's a change of lifestyle just like you said. While NIKKI can't be replaced, some of the things that Nikki brought to your life that you seem to miss, like the long walks, can come back with a new addition or two. I've got two new ones here -- long story how that happened so quick. They're both one-year olds and it's very easy to compare them since they're already adults. They even have a few of the same mannerisms that Penny and Copper did. Sometimes when I find myself expecting a bit too much from either of them, or comparing them too much, I'll sit down with the one. Then I say to him, "So, tell me about yourself. What are your hobbies?" I know that sounds silly! But it keeps me focused on the fact that is dog is Buddy or Marley NOT Penny or Copper. I think that comparisons just come naturally. People tend to compare their children too, even though they try not to.

Hope that helps a little. Good Luck!
Peace&Love
V

Dear Ramona,

I understand how you feel, perfectly. I see my sweet cat Peaches everywhere too. I don't know how long this will go on. I do know that I had a very special bond with her that I never felt with any other pet I've ever shared my life with.

I think that I will someday get another cat, I don't know when. I think I will know when the time is right. No way will any other cat replace Peaches, I can't expect that (it's impossible). I need to heal from this loss first before I do anything like that.

I also have an awesome 8 yr old Samoyed here with me at home. She has been a real comfort to me. I love the Sammy breed too. She was a real "go-getter" as a pup....but she has finally mellowed out to be a sweet grown-up girl who just wants to be loved & enjoys walks, conversations & tolerates trips to the "spa" (in human terms known as the "groomer"......her coat is extremely high-maintenance!!!!)

Please be gentle with yourself & give yourself time to heal. It is so, so hard.








Kim

I totally understand your loss. I think we all do. The first few months are the hardest. I think we all look for our loved pets around the house, so you aren't alone. That does lessen little by little. It's my understanding is that making it through the first year is the hardest, it's gets uphill from there....

Nikki sounded so sweet, she sure was lucky to have you! Hang in there and I'll be sending happy thoughts your way.

Misty's Mama