Has it really been 2 months, it feels like much longer since I cuddled my Gizzy.
My husband and I were sat talking last night about Gizzy, and we both cried so hard, we really do miss him so much.
We know we are lucky to have our other three babies, but you know, the house just seems so empty with our wise old man gone. Nothing seems to be the same anymore.
This was the FIRST time my husband really let out how he felt, for 2 months I have felt I had to hide they way I was feeling, but it was such a relief to me to know all along he was really feeling the same. I think it has probably been harder on him, as he signed the paper to allow the vet to put Gizzy to sleep, I couldnt do it. I had to do that 14 years ago with my Grans cat, there was no way I could do it again. If left to me I would have been selfish and bought Gizzy back home. He mentioned this last night, that he felt he had ended Gizzys life. Of course he didnt, he took over where I was too weak.
Im not sure if the sadness we both experienced last night is part of the healing, or just another roller coaster of grief... what I do know is, we understand each other a whole lot more now, when it comes to dealing with the loss of our Gizzy. We have decided that we will try and get another baby, maybe a black one like Gizzy, but also the time isnt right for us yet emotionally, we will just wait for the signs. When the time is right it will hit us like a bolt from the blue, im sure.
Im sorry to go on, today is hard, I keep thinking things will get better, but they dont seem to just yet.
Ruth
x

Ruth (Gizzy's mom)

I'm so sorry today is so hard for you. It's still early days in your grief. It's so odd to think how long they have been gone. I'm glad you husband could get his grief out, his feelings out, it can be really hard for men sometimes. It was a healing thing for both of you I think. When my husband and I get crying together we really cry up a storm, but it seems that is needed and helps a bit.

Love the guys you have, I know you do, and you are right. One day you will know the time is right for a new guy too. It's so odd how empty the house can feel when one of your family members is gone. You don't think they take up so much space, I guess they don't body size wise. Love wise they can fill up a house or a heart.

Love

Ruth,

I know how hard this is for you. After a while, it seems like the reality of it truly sets in and its almost harder to take than the first weeks. Just know that your Gizzy is still with you, even when he doesn't send signs or let you see him.

Thinking of you today.

Paula

Ruth, I'm so sorry. I still count the weeks and it's so painful with each one that passes. I'm glad your husband expressed his feelings - maybe it will help you to grieve more openly with him.

I know your pain and I am sending you warm thoughts...

Jen