Hello all......
my name is Lisa. My dog Milo, he was 8 yrs old, was put to sleep yesterday. I had found out Monday that there was no hope, and because of one of his tumors, in his sinuses growing rapidly, he would end up bleeding out or not being able to get any air. I'm sick over the decision, I really couldn't take part in it, just handed it over to my mom because there was no way I could let him go.
He was such an incredible dog. I 'rescued' him, and it seems he never forgot that because he never left my side. He was so protective. Wednesday night I could not stop crying... and he just knew... instead of sleeping at the foot of the bed he came up and layed right by my face. He loved going on walks, hated rain, loved blankets.... I haven't made my bed since I have had him because he would undo the bed so he could lie engulfed in blankets. Anyway, it just really hurts right now and I miss him so much.
I never thought I'd lose him this early. I feel like I am never going to stop crying, and only a few people really know the bond we had, and understand how much this is killing me. I feel like I let him down, he had these tumors growing in his body and I had no idea, and the poor dog was cheated, just his past checkup in the summer, perfectly healthy. It all happened so fast. He should be sitting right next to me right now.
Anyways sorry to let that all out. And I am sorry for everyone elses losses also.

Hi Lisa:

I am so, so terribly sorry for the loss of your precious Milo.

We love these precious furbabies and we have to do the very best thing by them to ease the suffering that horrible diseases and age inflict -- and know that, as hard and horrible as it is for you now, you did the right thing for Milo. You are very lucky to have that final night with him in bed with you.

My husband are about a day ahead of you in the process -- we lost our precious girl Sadie at about 11:20 p.m. on Wednesday. Know that the horror -- that gut-wrenching feeling -- of it all subsides. The first 24 hours is the absolute worst. Now, it's just dealing with the emptiness and longing to see that sweet furry face again. I can't tell you much about how long that lasts since we're still in it now. But I do know that it's good to cry. Scream, cry, wail if you need to -- but don't button up that pain inside -- it's too much to bear if you don't let it out.

Gentle hugs and many prayers that you can remember all the wonderful memories that your sweet angel Milo gave to you.

I'm so sorry for your loss of Milo. Sadie's mom is right - the first 24 hours are complete hell. "Gut wrenching" is a phrase I've used many times to describe it. There is no pain like it. I went through it at the end of January in a very similar situation and felt the same way - physically sick over the decision to put my baby down in an attempt to prevent his future suffering.

This site has literally saved me and kept me sane through the most painful experience of my life. Keep coming back - it will help you through the process.

In the meantime, breathe and just simply exist. That's all you can do - don't expect anything more of yourself..

My thoughts and prayers are with you..

Dear Lisa,

I am so sorry that you had to say goodbye to your Milo. It is so, so unfair that we have to lose our beloved babies this way. But he was very ill & your mom couldn't let Milo suffer. Making the decision to end their pain is a difficult & HUGE decision & your mom did the right thing for Milo. I made this same decision one week ago today & said goodbye to my very special 13 year old cat, Peaches. I have a dog now & have had other pets throughout my life but Peaches is the only one that clung only to me, physically & emotionally. I am hurting like crazy right now but I had to let her go, for her sake.

Lisa, remember the special relationship you shared with Milo & the good times you had with him. He obviously knew how much he was loved.

Please take care. You, your mom & Milo are in my thoughts.

Hi Lisa,
I'm so sorry for your loss.
When I had to put my Copper down 3 months ago, I felt a lot of what you're feeling now. He was only 9. He had a cancerous tumor the size of a grapefruit on his spleen and I blamed myself for not having the X-ray vision to see it. Then I blamed myself that all the medical care in the world couldn't save him. I was just so mad at myself for things that weren't my fault. And I cried all the time too. I could barely get out of bed for the first 3 days.

You'll be surprized to find out how many people understand the bond that you two have now that you're here. EVERYONE here understands. And we're all here for you.

Peace&Love
V

Lisa, I really feel for you, it must be so hard for you but at least you have found the right place with us here. Like Mo& Maisies Mom said, "this site has literally saved me and kept me sane through the most painful experience of my life Keep coming back - it will help you through the process".

I also never thought I'd lose my soul mate cat this early-he was thirteen but I had hoped he'd live to 20. I felt like it was the end of the world. The first day I was just numb but the third day was terrible. Luckily no one asked too much of me ,all I could do was cry. My eyes were horribly swollen. I would stay at home and hope no visitors would come. They didn't, like you said, this unique bond that we share is not aknowledged by most close to us, there are probably a hundred reasons for this. One of the reasons may be that people are very uncomfortable in sharing your pain: think of how unique and brave you were to go one step further, you courageously took on Milo's pain, what a loving thing to do, as you see, most people can't do that for someone else. Milo must be so grateful for everything you have done for him in his life , even that last so hard separation. He must be sending you a lot of love and he will be able to speak to you from within, be open to this and you will see. It will get better, for sure. It's been 5 months for me and I catch myself singing and smiling sometimes. I sense that my pet is somehow still watching over me. If there is an afterlife and I think this is more possible than the other way around, I shall run to sweep him up in my arms and all will be well again. Here is a little poem to soothe you:After Death by Edwin Arnold

Farewell, Master, yet not farewell
Where I go, ye, too, shall dwell..
I am gone, before your face.
A moment in time, a little space.
When ye come where I have stepped Ye will wonder why ye wept."


Take care of yourself Lisa , Milo wants you to.

As others have said, this site is an immense help. It helped me to deal with the loss of my beloved Jemima (aka "Mouse") as everyone else has been through it themselves. You can say exactly how you're feeling and you will get the support of everyone. And yes, the first 24 hours are the hardest.

Lisa

I'm so sorry you lost your Milo. It's so hard to lose them but it feels extra bad when they are so young. Take care of yourself even if you don't want to. Drink if you can't eat. That bond you had with Milo will keep him close in your heart.

When we lose someone close to us, our reality changes, things never 'go back to normal' we just learn to live in the new reality, without them. It seems so unreal, like maybe we never really had them. Like it was a beautiful dream, or that this is a nightmare we can't wake up from.

Thinking of you, your mom and Milo.