Kind of a poll, how many of you have human children??

Some people think only people without children love pets this much. I am just curious and thought I'd take a poll.......

I have two daughters.

Cleo 1

Only one, a daughter, and that is more than enough for me!

And you??????

Not sure if she is human though, the way she growls at me sometimes!!!!!

I have two sons, almost grown:19 &17 I got my kittens when they were 6 and 4. A few weeks later my eldest had allergies, the pediatrician told me to get rid of my cats: no way, we all survived and my son's allergies to cats subsided.

A strange thing happened before I lost my two cats this fall: I was taking a break from my garden work when a white dove caught my eye;it was late in the afternoon and it seemed so brilliant white, almost silver. The dove perched on a building close by and kept looking at me and my dog. I went to get a handful of grain but it wasn't interested in it, still it kept hovering around us. Around supper time my son noticed it had perched on the window sill of our mud room. The next morning at day break my husband saw that it had spent the night on our bedroom windowsill. When the sun was up we went out to do our farm chores and the bird flew over us, gave a long squawk and flew away. It felt strange, like a good omen.
Eleven days later my youngest son totalled his car and how he got out without a scratch, no one knows. This shook us enormously. A month later my cat Felix had to be put to sleep because of heart failure. People reminded me of how lucky I had been for my son and I sort of agreed that if a choice had to be made, indeed....Then my soulmate cat, Yukon became very sick and in my state of mind I could not stand to see him both sick and so in grief for his brother; I made the mistake of my life and had him euthanized. I think in my crazy beaten mind I felt that he too was part of the trade off for my son's life. Though I know I would have agreed to "sacrifice'' my cats for one of my sons, and would definitely not have done vice versa, my cats place in my life was so very close to that of my sons and I grieve for them more than I did for anyone else who has departed. RADGIRL, Sorry for such a long post on your survey!!

one daughter age 10..(human)




furry dtr age 11 soon to be 12(dobie)
furry boy age 8 soon to be 9(husky shep mix)
two furry girls that have passed on at ages 13 and 18..(a calico and a torite)

funny though my dtr actually considers them her siblings..how funny is that?

My daughter is almost 25 and my son almost 22 - son was born with a heart condition called Wolff-Parkinson-White (which causes rapid heartbeat occasionally) which was no trouble until he was taking lots of Aleve for tendinitis as a high school senior, went off to college and started having problems, entirely related to the Aleve in my opinion. When he stopped taking it, no more problems. He decided to have a surgical correction the following summer anyway because of anxiety related to the heart condition.

I was warrior mom with him vs. the medical community (teaching hospitals have their place but one of the young docs told him he could die when he was already so anxious he was crying). I bring the same level of warriorship to the care of my pets - we're all part of the same "pack" and our family includes two and four-legged critters. Once you're mine, you're mine!

So while I may be more involved than the average bear with my pets, I'm just as deeply involved with issues like environmental well being and other traditional liberal issues.

I have no children. I think that I would not be a good role model. Probably better that way

On the other hand, with your ability to feel for others and your generosity, perhaps a child could be his own person and wouldn't need a role model to grow well.

I have a 2 1/2 year old little girl. I know it is never meant to offend anyone when people say it, but it drives me nuts when people say "I have no children, so my animals are my children"..."I can't have kids, so I love my animals like my kids". Well, I do have a human child, and that in no way takes away from how much I love my animals....my animals are also my children and are loved accordingly .
I think you may have a few folks here that would argue that one with ya

No kids, never have liked them or wanted any!

Toonie...you are far too kind

No kids here.. I borrow and return them. Dogs are my babies.

My husband Rick and I have been married for 16 yrs. but we've never had any children.When we first got married people used to ask us for yrs when we were gonna have kids and that used to annoy the crap out of me.I always thought it was none of their business if and when we ever decided to have them.We never even tried until around 8 yrs. ago but it just never happened for us.We have pretty much given up that it ever will and I am fine with that.We had our boy Sox before we were even married and now we have Smoky.I always considered my cats to be my children and love them just as much as I would my human kids had I had any.We kinda like not having kids the older we get,we can travel and come and go whenever we please.I love kids,as long as they are someone else's......haha just kiddin..I have lots of neices and nephews so I have plently of kids to love too.I agree with the others about John but if he doesn't want kids then that is fine too.Not everyone is put on this earth to be a parent. I'll just keep on loving my kitties...

My only son is soon to be turning 19 and there is no way I would have another and start over now!

Alley was my only daughter and I don't think I will ever have another girl kitty either....

My husband and I have been married for well over 20 years and we chose to not bring human children in this world, and we never had any desire to do so. (What always annoyed us is when people kept asking us, insistantly, when we are going to have kids, all the while bemoaning their own kids because they don't "move out".) But we do indeed have children who love us unconditionally, in every sense of the word. And we also get more pitter-patter of little feet for the head count. (And we never want them to "grow up and leave.") Great poll question.

I don't have children. I would have taken them if it would have happened but it didn't and I'm okay with that too.

Love is love, give it to human kids or fur kids and it's still love. The more love you give the more you have to give.

John

I think you would make a great dad. You have so much love and compassion. Not that you should be a dad of course, but you would be a great one.

Love

No human kids here, either. Didn't want any and neither did my H. I thought like John, and had my reasons, though those who knew how far I went for my furkids thought I would have made a great mother to human ones....a moot point now and I'm still not sure I would agree with their assessments. All I ever really wanted was furkids. I always connected with animals more than with humans. And now my kids are both gone.

I really, really agree with the viewpoints of Kim and Amarna.

I don't have kids, and when I'm around people who do, I tend to not talk about the dogs in my life because I always get the feeling that they think I'm equating humans and animals. To me, it's not about that - I think love and caring is love and caring and should be given to all, human and animal.

But ever since I said something once about my dog, and someone said "Just think of how you would have felt if it was a child" (as though I were the one making some kind of comparison), I just tend to lay low about it.

-- Michelle

7 yo boy
10 yo girl
15 yo boy
dog
cat

no wonder im so busy all the time

My H and I are going on 18 years of being together. We have always felt that we don't want any human children. We have alot of fun with our nephew, but we can give him back when he gets cranky ( he's 2 1/2 years old). He's got a little brother coming in July, so we'll have 2 nephews to borrow and return, like a great library book.

At this point, we still do not ever want kids, but if it happened, we'd deal with it. I always joke that if we got pregnant, we'd let his Mom and Dad raise the child.

I have always had more of a soft spot and connection with furry kids, and that is where my heart still lies. They are the best children. We don't go on vacations (we don't trust anyone to care for them the way we do), so they never need a sitter. Whenever I go out, I don't have to lug a diaper bag, car seat, and child- which I love. Sometimes our animals "talk", but they don't "talk back" the way children can. I find that peaceful. I just watch their body language and listen to their barks, purrs, meows, and coos, and that tells me all I need to know- that they love us.

I think alot of people are capable of equally loving animals and humans, but I also believe that when a loved furkid passes, and you have human children, it still hurts but it is a relief that it is not your human child. I say this from experiences of knowing people who have both types of kids. The people that have children, do not seem to grieve as hard or as long. I think it has alot to do with the fact that they have to keep going for their human family, while the furkid parents have more time to sit in grief. I'm not sure, it's just speculation from my own experience. I would never presume to know how anyone ,with or without human kids, will or has handled grief.

Just my thoughts, and hey, you asked for them.

Peace, Love, and Prayers,
Michelle

One child - 5 year old boy - Sawyer Ace Jag - smarter than me and always two steps ahead -

He called Rajah his brother and when Rajah passed away he told everyone his brother died. He is still missing him tons as am I!

I guess I'm darn lucky to have a human child then, because if I grieved any harder, or longer (still going strong after almost 3 years) I do believe I'd be dead !

Hi Everyone, My husband and I have a 7 year old daughter who I am proud to say loves pets and all animals as much as we do, my boy was my first baby, then came my girl, we are a full family, and now are pretty lost without our buddy...thinking of another pet friend to fill in, but I am not convinced that it will ever be "filled" I only want my boy, she feels the loss as much as we do, its hard because she talks about him alot, giving me pain, but I am glad he was such a part of her life, as well as our cat who died about 4 years ago, we still miss him like crazy...we have two "boxes" their pictures in our front room, they are always with us...anyway, if you love I think you can love kids or animals alike, and the pain of their loss is equal, there is no difference, at least for us...we are grateful to have had both and will continue to have pet friends in our lives forever... Always, Hrudey's momma my Christmas Angel , Love, Tory

You are right Kim R.
I don't think my pain will ever end, especially after 19 deaths ( 18 were animal kids) in less than 3 years. I just have all the time in the world to feel it and live it. Oh, I try to distract myself and do useful things, but a broken heart goes wherever I go, just like yours.

I don't want anyone to misunderstand me, I think pain and loss is horror no matter who it is. Like I said before, the people in my life seem to feel a relief that their human child or children are o.k. even when they are suffering a great loss of a furkid. These souls may help explain why I needed all of you at LS so much, as I did not feel the compassion and understanding from those physically close to me, I got that support from you all here. And yes, those in my life that I needed the most during my grief, have human kids.
Maybe it's just an anomally.

Michelle

Thanks for all the responses....a lot of people that ignored Misty's death said I was going to be far too busy with my daughter and wouldn't have had time for Misty. That hurt more than ever because having my daughter definitely did not change my love for Misty at all.

A lot people say, if you have kids, your pets don't mean as much. Not true for me......and for all of you too!

Hi Radgirl again,
Wow! I just have to respond, what terrible things people can say!!!! that's awful, I guess I feel lucky no one ever said a thing like that to me I would have gone absolutely crazy...luckily I think most people who knew me and my family knew how much Hrudey was a part of our lives, or maybe luckily I never hung around such hateful jack@#@'s....I really am shocked and sorry for all of you who have had such thoughtless things said to you at this time... I am so thankful for this place to come to share...Peace to you all!!

I guess in retrospect I think my daughter helped me through the worst day of pain, if it wasn't for her wanting to still open those presents on Christmas, and me trying to make it some kind of day for her...I would have just crawled into the fetal position and just stayed there to this day...I still have Hrudey's present unopened upstairs, what do I do with it now?!?! weirdo I know...All the best to you Tory, Hrudey's Momma

Hrudey's Momma


I can think of two things:

1. Put it with his memorial things, if you have a place you keep things

2. Give it to a new baby you get someday, tell him it's from Hrudey...a kind of love link.

It's so hard to figure out what to do with some of their things.....

Love

We put Misty's Christmas gift with his memorial things, my husband bought it for him a month early since we knew something was seriouly wrong. He was pretty excited and chirpped to m husband, so I like having it there as that memory.....

Thanks Lori and Radgirl....good ideas, I think giving it to the new baby will be like passing the torch to the youngun....I also have shampoo and conditioner from the vet I bought a day before the holiday, never opened...I guess I will just keep it too...You're all the best and very kind!! Love, Tory, Hrudey's Momma, check out my new memorial for Hrudey boy, it was heart wrenching but kind of therapeutic too...

While I agree that pets in larger families can be loved just as much, I think there is a difference in how much we depend on them. Without a husband or children, I depend on my cats enormously for companionship and emotional support. Perhaps this is an indictment of my life, but my relationships with my cats are the most nurturing, emotionally intimate ones I have. They are the only source of physical touch in my life. They are the only ones I see every day. After moving to a small town to care for my ailing father, I have friends here, but not of significant depth. There are friends from work, but again not that comfort me at 10p when I'm missing my dad, or making me laugh as I'm fixing dinner. If I had other people in my home, I know I would love my kitties as much, but I doubt I would be relying on them to quite the same degree.
Kimberly

I agree with you Mink and Willow's mom, yet I still dread the next time I'm mad enough at my DH to go sleep on the couch because it will remind me of how it used to be, such a comfort to wake up on the couch and find that my Yukon, my partner in crime, had chosen to spend the night with ME, how I miss him, he was more than a family member, he was my soulmate, my room with a view, my ivory tower, my most loved place to be.

I have a 5 month old son. People were always telling me that once I had him, I would care less for my dear cat Mama. Nothing could have been further from the truth. She recently passed but I adored her every bit as much once my son was born as before. I am still grief stricken and everyone is always saying that looking at my baby should make me feel better. Honestly, it doesn't! Of course, I have immense love for my little boy but it has not dulled the pain of losing Mama.

I have a daughter, 25, living it Europe at the moment.

When she was about fifteen, she loved to do song parodies for holidays. My favorite was a parody of Billie Holliday's "My Man". (It went something like this... two or three dogs has she, that she loves more than me, but I love her...)

I thought I'd bring back this old topic because some of the newer posters here might want to add their comments. Radgirl know that we shall be thinking of Misty and your husband and whole family tonight at 7:30

I'd never answered to this thread before (cuz this had been discussed at least once in another thread, way back), but will now. Unlike most women, my maternal instincts ONLY and always ran to animals, and luckily for me, my husband also felt the same. We both only wanted fur-kids and so that's what we had (something I'm still personally grateful for). I always said if I could have birthed our kidlets myself, it would have been EXTRA grand. "Congratulations, Mrs. H......you're the proud mother of two lovely kittens, one grey and one black!"

As Kimberly (Mink and Willow's mom) said, some of us depend more than others on our kidlets in our daily lives, but on the other hand, I'm not convinced it matters if we have other significant others in our lives as much as people might imagine it does. I DO have a husband and in the past have had a few good friends, too, but regardless of that, NONE of them have ever fulfilled me as much as, and in as many profoundly deep and meaningful ways as Nissa and Sabin did. I still relied on my kids the most of all and in some ways (especially the emotional ways) much more than I did on others, even on my husband, because THEY were the ones who not only could but willingly and constantly DID provide me with what I needed most often - their unconditional, never-ending and highly-spiritual LOVE. (most humans just aren't capable of this, so constantly) They garnered my undying respect for this. No one ever made me laugh as long or as hard as my kidlets, either, despite my husband being a very funny man. And no one ever gazed into my eyes and soul the way Nissa did, nor kissed me as often or with as much passion (too much information? ) as she did, either. Nor have I ever had the extreme pleasure and amazement as to merge auras with any human, as I did with my Boo-Boo (Sabin). So overall, my relationship with my kidlets far surpassed ANY I've had with any human being, despite some of the loved people I've had in my life so far. (and yes, my husband is aware of all this, and agrees, even if it IS rather 'insulting' to him! )

Why must we keep having to justify (to society) the love shared between us and our non-human kids anyway? THEY'RE closer to our Source than most humans are, and it's only natural we respond to that purer love with an equally-large love in kind. If you ask me, radgirl, yours and Misty's relationship opened your heart to being able to love MORE, not less, and that's what those non-understanding and selfish people are missing.

I'll be with you and your beloved Misty in spirit tonight, too.

Would you say that you feel more cat than human in your earthly dealings? I smiled all the way through this post of yours because I could really relate. Same here, my maternal instincts were really easy to find and hone in on when for cats, from the moment I was a little girl I was mesmerized by cats, I felt like we were the same kind. I never played with dolls, Minou was all I needed. I would lay for hours with him sleeping like a baby in my arms, even if I was getting cramps from staying in the same position I would let it be, it was normal to sacrifice myself for him and let my care be more important than my body's aches or play dates somehwere else. I was never in a situation to know babies, am the youngest in my family and perhaps remained traumatized by what my mother told me when I was little: that I had to be careful if I held a baby, I had to hold their little neck well or it might break! So I stayed away, avoided babysitting babies etc... Whenever there were babies around I would secretly hope that the people wouldn't hand one of them for me to hold, I really felt inept and didn't want/need to hold a baby -- of course the kids would soon feel I wasn't comfortable and start to bawl with my own babies I felt weird at first because when they're just months old, they don't play, they don't communicate so I didn't know how to interract except for holding, breastfeeding and rocking them but the play sessions were an intruigue to me especially at first, I did manage to raise my boys without traumatizing them from their weird cat mother, they have grown into beautiful and gentle young men -probably thanks to my dear husband and both very well adjusted and are happy and successful in their lives. But all of this with humans had to be learned whereas with cats it was instinctive. One of my customers even told me that my eyes make her think so much of a big mama cat. a big compliment I just loved her saying that to me. So was I a cat at one point and if so it must have been a remarkable life because I really really identify with these creatures and it seems to me that that profound love has permeated my soul in a unique way.

Well, once I got the chance to relate to cats (not that often in my youth, unfortunately), I felt I must be at least part feline, because I seemed to not only understand them so naturally, but could actually (and LOVED to!) feel the same ways they seemed to be feeling. Like with hunting, or playing, for example....my heart would race and I'd feel all tingly upon them hearing a mousie or getting ready to pounce a toy. In later years (once I knew more about spiritual matters) it dawned on me that I probably had been a cat at some point. So, I feel like a blend of human and feline, mainly.

That said, I also highly related to birds as well (my first loves), as well as other creatures, both tame and wild, and including dogs, of course, but found cats a bit more irresistible.

Like you, I'm the youngest child, so didn't have an opportunity to be a babysitter for any younger siblings, but neither did other people's babies excite me. I used to wonder just what all the female excitement over a newborn was about.....and felt alien because I couldn't drum up the same reaction inside to save my life. They were nothing more than a mild curiosity for me and I'd often think that were this a baby animal or bird instead, THEN I'd 'get' it. There was just no connection between me and the consciousness of babies. I probably relate a bit more to them NOW, but still, given a choice......I'd much rather be playing with or cradling and rocking a cat! In fact, whenever I see that first look of what I can only describe as wonder on a cat's face when I connect with them and start 'getting into' a game with them, it still never fails to delight me no end! It's so apparent to me that they're thinking, all in a couple of seconds, "Huh? What's THIS?! Oh! She's really a CAT in skin clothing! Okay, then.....let's REALLY play!!"
Yup. I get that completely.
You're SO lucky then! I always said, "WOULD that I could look even HALF as beautiful as my kids &/or that I had fur!" Plus, I seem to even remember on some level what it was like to have a TAIL! When I would do grounding exercises with Nissa, and I had to ground her tail, I could actually FEEL, in tandem with her, the energy flowing down MY 'tail'. It was really cool and again, felt so natural. The few people who actually got to see me play with my kids, OR theirs (if they'd leave me alone long enough to do so properly!), often commented that I acted like a cat, so it was no wonder they (the cat) liked me so much. And I'd say, laughing, "Yup. I'm part cat, you know." They'd think it was just a joke, but I and the cat at hand/paw knew better.

On the other paw, it might just as equally be that, being 'one' aspect of Source but also Source Itself, I'm only remembering one part of what it is to be EVERYTHING...and being a cat is just one of the most pleasurable things to be! After all, it was Nissa who said, through a communicator, when I'd asked her, "What does God look like?".....well, she showed the communicator my eyes, and said, "You."

(oh...and now, looking back on this thread, I see that I DID originally reply...oh well!)

I have a 6-month-old son - Joey.

And 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds and 3 fish.

When Bono died, I wasn't even pregnant with my son, so I wasn't a mother (to my son) at the time that he died. But I became pregnant 2 months later.

Bono has been dead 17 months now, and even with my son and all my other pets, I'm grieving for him as much as any people without children grieve for their furbabies.

In fact I'd even go as far as to say that people with children find dealing with the loss of a pet extremely difficult because they're EXPECTED to just get on with it, tend to their families, and have hardly any time to just sit and cry ...

They can't just take time out to grieve, to talk about their pain, they can't curl in a corner cuddling the urn of their beloved furbaby, or close all the curtains and lock themselves inside for a while.

And no matter how much they long for the solitude, the time alone to let the tears flow and remember the scent, the touch, the unconditional love between their furbaby and themselves, they have to think about their children and keep life NORMAL, keep the house clean and tidy, get the laundry done, prepare meals, check homeworks, make their children laugh (even though they are crying inside) ...

Parents can't fall apart on the outside... no matter how great the loss. It doesn't mean they aren't falling apart on the inside, and breaking their hearts quietly, or crying into their pillow at night ... They're just putting on a brave face ...

Just because my son is healthy and alive does not make me feel better about the fact that my first baby boy, my Bono, is gone from my life forever and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I could have 10 more healthy children and still the pain of Bono's passing would weigh just as heavy on my heart.

I wouldn't still be on this website if I wasn't still heavily grieving ...

We do indeed grieve just as hard and for just as long as those people without children. As a person with both a human baby and furbabies, I can vouch for that 100%.