I've never posted here before, but I have received comfort reading some of your posts.

My sweet girl, Gretchen, had to be euthanized March 10th due to numerous cancerous tumors. She was an 11 year old beagle/dachsund mix that came into the humane society where I worked. She was labeled as "unadoptable" and a "fear biter". I brought her home with me to socialize her and the rest is history. During her life she suffered from hip dysplasia and sub-luxating knees. She had already made it through two hip surgeries and two knee surgeries when a warty-looking lump showed up on her paw. When the vet told me she had cancer, I went into denial mode. I just kept telling myself it was no big deal, she had dealt with lots of medical problems and this would be no different. My husband gently tried to help me see what was really going on, but I persisted in my belief that "everything would be ok". One day he said something that finally stuck. She had several visible tumors and I was remarking about this to him. He said, "Do you realize that the same thing is going on inside her?" Over the next few days, I looked at her through different eyes and realized, with horror, that it was time to let her go.

I cannot stop picturing her laying on the vet's table as she died. I cannot stop thinking about the way her fur felt and petting her little head. I keep expecting her to show up somewhere.

I am shocked by the depth of my grief. My heart literally aches. I knew this would be hard, but this is way beyond what I imagined. I am terrified something is going to happen to my other dog or my two cats.

Perhaps the hardest thing is knowing that most other people don't understand my grief. I want to share Gretchen stories and cry when I need to, but I don't feel comfortable doing that. I want people to acknowledge Gretchen's death.

Thank you for reading.

I am so sorry about your precious Gretchen. I'm glad you could come here...welcome. We want to hear your Gretchen stories, and comfort you when you shed your tears. I would love to see a picture of her.

This is achingly hard. I, too, had no idea how hard it would really be. Be easy on yourself, keep breathing in and out, even when you don't want to. The first few days are a nightmare to get through. I wish I could do or say something to make it easier, but I can't. Your heart has been ripped out, and it will take time to begin to heal.

Again, welcome, and please keep posting, let us know how you are doing. Take comfort in the fact that Gretchen is happy now, and doesn't hurt any longer. You did right by her.

I too had my pet put to sleep eternal 1 week ago. The image of the event still haunts me. I know you will not want to hear this...but that is a normal reaction. You were Gretchens gaurdian and you were responsible for her very life. To have a hand in your pets death is unthinkable, to us as pet owners it violates us to our very core.

The things here you have said are all too familiar...the denial you spoke of...your minds attempt to shield from the horrific realization thet your baby is dying.

The depth of the grief we feel as pet owners is as painful as any grief could possibly be. I felt this grief in November of last year when my Baby Chase died and I am feeling it again now that my Little Miss has gone also. If you are shocked at the depth of your grief than you have been exposed to people who no NOTHING about pets and the depth at which people love them. FORGET ABOUT THEM!!!

Look around you...here are people who have experienced the full onslaught of remorse and the most intense kind of emotional pain they will ever feel. I am only one of them. This forum if FULL of them.

I understand and feel your pain
I know what you are going through & will go through
I am here for you
I care about what you are feeling right now
Come back & write often...it helps
I will be thinking of you

I am so sorry for your loss. Gretchen sounded like such a joy for you....it's so hard to get through the first month without them. You may find yourself questioning that last day, but don't. Gretchen knows you loved her and you did the best you could. We did the same when we lost our beloved Misty the first week of December. He was our only pet and the joy of our lives, so I totally understand.

We too got little acknowledgement of Misty's death. IT's a shame how people can be so insenst*itive. For me, getting some support here, trying to help others, and time have helped. Once I got acknowledgement HERE I was able to move to the next level. IT's still hard, I cried everyday for over three months and I am not doing that now, so it does get better.

Grief is a process, it's a tough one but together we can make it. Thanks for coming here, I know you are in a lot of pain right now, people here do understand and care.

Hugs, Misty's Mama

I like the others am so sorry you've had to go thur such a trying time with your beloved Gretchen.I understand completely how you feel.......I lost my boy Sox back in Oct. of last year.He had kidney failure and feline diabetes.He was 16 yrs. old and we had to make the decision to put him to sleep.It was the hardest thing we've ever had to do and I had nightmares about it for months afterwards.It was so hard to get that image out of my head.I will tell you that it can and does get better as time goes by.Right now you are in the hardest stage of grief and I relate to you feeling like your never going to be the same again.You won't ever be the same but it will get easier to manage.You'll learn to live in a new reality although I will say that it is very hard to do that.I'm still not over the loss of my baby and it was nearly 6 months ago.I still miss him and think of him so often.We've even gotten a new kitty named Smoky and that does help the hurt.Please know that you are not alone in your feelings and feel free to come here as often as you need to.Express your thoughts and feelings,we've all been where you are now so we will understand you.It's hard for the people in our lives to know what to say whenever a pet passes away so give your loved ones a break if they don't bring it up.They may think they are helping you by not mentioning it because they don't want to hurt you anymore than your already hurting.Just give yourself some time and know that it will get better.We're here for you so please keep in touch and let us know how your getting along.I'll keep you in my thoughts.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Gretchen's Mommy

I'm so sorry you lost your Gretchen. It's so hard to lose them, they are such a part of our lives. You were a great mommy who took on her pain so she could be well and happy again. Tell your stories here, I don't think the world understands, but we do. I would love to see a picture of Gretchen when you can.


It's normal to be very fragile after a loss, and terrified something will happen, but it probably won't. When you get to thinking that, try to think of good things instead. How cute they are when they play or how precious they look when they sleep.

I think the grief over a much loved fur kid is one of the worst you can go through. Hang in there and get by day to day, or hour to hour, it does get better. You don't get over it but it does get better.

Thinking of you and Gretchen

Dear Renee, Misty's Mom, John and Dusk to Dawn,

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. It means so much just to have other people acknowledge what a difficult loss this is.

I know that time will ease the pain, but as you all pointed out, this time period is the worse. I know there will be a time in the future that I will be able to recall the good memories and laugh about the great times we had. I don't have a timetable for my grief, I know from experience you just have to live each day.

One of the hardest things is that Gretchen's nature was that of a busybody. She always had to be where the action was, barking her approval or disapproval. She was always in the doorway to whatever room I was in, head on her paws, watching me. She loved our 4 y/o son and kept watch over him as well. She also went everywhere with us...to the Gulf, camping, family visits. She was such a spunky, sweet little girl and now there is no one watching me, checking on my activities. Through 5+ surgeries ( I lost count), she was a trooper. Even though I know she was in pain much of the time, she never let it stop her.

John, please accept my condolences on the loss of your pet. I am so sorry that you are going through this again after having to lose Chase last year.

I would love to put a picture up, but my tech savviness is limited. I'll work with it and see what I can do.

Thank you again for your kindness and understanding.

Moose Mom,

I just read your post and wanted to thank you as well for your support.

It helps to know that fearing the loss of your other pets is a normal emotion. But it sure does make things harder. Everytime I pet my other dog, Jack, I think about having to take him to the vet for that final time. Ugh. I just have to push those thoughts away.

Thank you again.