Hi! It's been so hard for me to post here, but today was my birthday and it was the first birthday in 14 years that I didn't have a card or a kiss from my Rajah. I miss him so much! I brought him home on March 20th, 14 years ago. He was my birthday present that year. In honor of him, this March 20th, I got a tattoo of a caricature of him that my son's Dad drew awhile ago. Anyway, sorry I haven't posted, but my heart just grieves everytime I read about someone else going through the same thing.

Welcome home, Tiffany. I'm not going to say happy birthday, because I know how it is when there is no happy anything.

You post or not post at your own time and speed...this is your recovery. The grief of losing your precious Rajah is a living thing. You don't need to pressure yourself about whether you are doing it "right". Just breathe in and out, and do the next thing.

There will be happy times again, honey, I promise. Comfort yourself that Rajah is happy, is flying free.

I wish it could be different, I wish I could comfort you. I will be thinking of you, heartbroken and alone on your birthday.

This must have been a hard week for you. and so soon after Rajah's loss, I am so sorry!!!

Hope you are holding up okay. I'll be thinking of you!

Misty's Mama

Dear Tiffany,I'm sorry you had such a sad birthday.It really sucks to have to try to celebrate when you really don't feel like it.Trust me when I say that you will have happy birthdays again,maybe not this year but you will have them.In time you'll be able to remember your sweet Rajah with such good memories and it won't hurt so much.I wish I could share in your pain and take it away for you but I cannot.I hope by knowing your not alone that it helps you alittle bit.My thoughts and prayers are with you.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Tiffany, what a tough time. I'm really so sorry. I'm sure he is sending you so much love on your birthday, but it doesn't take his place. I know how awful the grieving process is and I hope you continue to reach out for support when you need it. My thoughts are with you.

my heart goes out to you, i know how hard it must be for you. i too at the end of last year had to spend a birthday alone(well i have family but)... (with out the furry kind) with out my girls..christmas was hard too. the firsts are always the worst.
thinking of you and keeping you in my thoughts..

Tiffany

Oh honey I'm so sorry you had a birthday so soon after Rajah passed. Have the best day you can, okay? It's so hard to be without them when we want them, need them so much.

Love

Tiffany,

What an ordeal to have to go through so close to Rajah's passing. No one here would blame you for feeling such anguish over this. And the fact that he was a birthday present in the first place.....oh my....that would make it all the worse, for sure!!

I won't have to face that yet for a few months, for which I'm grateful, but I DO clearly remember other birthdays after other huge losses.....no, they're not easy at ALL. Normally, it take me about 3, after a loss, to begin to feel even half-way 'normal' again. This year's for me, will also be extra hard because it's one of those milestone birthdays, and Nissa won't be here to help me through the common angst those ones bring to begin with, much less celebrate it. And we'll be on vacation at the same time, so I'm more than likely to be all OVER the place, emotion-wise, struggling to force food and drink down for a birthday dinner, and feeling like throwing myself in the lake we'll be at instead!

So I really empathize with you about this 'first', and even more. I hope it's 'better' today, now that it's over and done with....a little relief, if nothing else. Birthdays, holidays, regular days....they all just suck w/o our precious babies by our sides. I'm so sorry.

My birthday won't ever be the same either. My Bday is Dec 23rd. Homer passed on Dec 24th. I spent my birthday with him at the specialists office when my friends were all waiting for me to come out and celebrate. Actually, the holidays aren't really the holidays any more, doubt they will be for a long time.
I too got a couple of tattoos to honour Homer, I got his actual paw print on my back, which I added a lotus flower to after he passed, and another memorial tattoo. I would love to see a picture of your tattoo.

I'm glad I'm not the only one with the desire for a memorial tattoo! My husband thinks I'm nuts! I watch a show sometimes called Miami Ink, it's a reality show about a tattoo shop in Miami Fl. Anyway, the woman on there is incredible with portrait tattoos...I swear they look exactly like the photos she works from when she gets done! I really want her to do my Sasha for me! My husbands first response to that idea was "do you have any idea how much she probably charges to do work like that?' of course my answer was 'and your point? '! I would only want her to do it, because when it comes to my girl, I will be very picky about it, otherwise I would only be able to do something symbolic...which I just can't come up with anything that is 'just perfect'....hmmm...I kinda like the paw print thing tho. My husband's afraid I'm gonna turn into a tattoo freak or something (I've only got one!) so he won't be any help either way!