This is a poem by Debi L. Pettigrew, that is in "Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul" that I think speaks for most, if not all, of us here as grievers on LS. The use of "child" here can easily be applied to the way most of us think of our furbabies, so don't let that stop the flow of this wonderful piece.

BEING THERE

Do you know of someone
Whose precious child has died?
Perhaps she is a neighbor or friend
With whom you can confide.
You assume that she is suffering
A tragedy so deep,
That there is nothing you can do
Since all she does is weep.
You feel that if you see her
There is nothing you can say
That would make her precious child come back
Or make the pain go away.
And if by chance you meet her
And have to face her grief,
You'll do your very best
To make this meeting brief.
You'll talk about the weather
Or the lady down the lane,
But you'll never mention her child --
That would cause her too much pain!
And when the funeral's over,
And all is said and done,
You'll go home to your family,
And she'll be all alone.
She'll go on, she'll be all right, time heals --
Or so it seems,
While she's left alone to pick up the pieces
Of her shattered life and dreams.

-OR-

You can open your heart
And find that special place
Where compassion and true giving
Are awaiting your embrace.
"Today I'm thinking of you in a very special way,"
Or, how about "I love you!"
Are some loving things to say.
Sometimes a very simple task
Like picking up the phone,
Can help her feel not-so-quite
Desperately alone.
Whatever comes from a genuine heart
Cannot be said in vain
For the truth is, it's these very things
That lessen her great pain.
And when you let her talk about
Her child who is now dead,
You'll know this is far greater
Than anything you've said.
So will you reach out with all your soul
And let her know you care?
For in the end there's no subst*itute
For simply BEING THERE!

~Debi L. Pettigrew~

Wonderful poem FK's mom. If only the people around us could take it to heart instead of ignoring our pain like the first half of it says.

Amen.

Yah, I know....but mainly only those of us here can attest to being like the second half....and LS is where we find such friends in grief. So the LS site itself is also our second half of this poem. Thank the Heavens for its founder, Marc!!

i am glad people find it of use, i only wish it were here back when i needed it.

Thank you for the poem, it was beautiful! I miss my Tom everyday, he is always in my heart, it cost almost $200 for small claims court, getting a lawyer is more, but i am working on getting my Tom back. Thanks for you and your support, it means alot.