This morning I am on this huge emotional roller coaster of ride and now have a whole bunch of issues to deal with.

This morning I got the details of the first tune-in session from an animal communicator who is working Denis.

I can't believe how accurate she has been. She has touched on aspects and issue of Denis' nature and life that no one would know or indeed be able to make up.

Once I had read her initial report I just broke down uncontrollably, I know the next few days are going to be tough going, she will be doing another tune-in session with him again.

She said he was a little guarded with her at first and said also that there was a serious side to his nature and perhaps a little fear which was rooted back to being in the litter. She said he often felt left out and struggled to get the same attention from Mum. This broke my heart this morning. When he was born he was different from all the rest, everyone else were tabby and he was the only black cat in the litter, which may have been why Mum regected him.

I hope I gave him enough love in his little life to compensate, I picked him over the other just because he was different, he stood out to me. I wish I had know this, I had always suspected this but never really knew for sure.

She also asked about an accident he had a couple of years ago where he came so very, very close to dying. We don't know what actually happen that almost fatal night, but for her to ask about this I just knew she had connected with Denis.

There is still a lot of work for her to do but she said that by me burying him in the back garden had made him happy.

My emotions are all over the place, my head is a massive fog, my tears are rolling and won't stop, it is if everything has all been brought to the surface all over again.

Just thank you anyone for listening, I just need to get this out. I just can't control my emotions today. My heart is screaming with pain.

Sorry for off loading here, it seems the most logical place for my ramblings.

EM and everyone I wish you lots of courage, this grief just so hard to handle yet it is a path that we must go through, we have no other choice. I never grieved for any person as much as I am grieving for my cats today (one was pts on October 12 and the other one three weeks later Nov 2) I am in my mid fifties, blessed with a loving human family but my cats were really my own people and I miss them so so much that it feels like life will never ever be the same, there will always be this huge sadness now that I have let them go-at all times, it really feels like I have a cannon ball sized hole in my stomach. I let go my first cat too late and my second cat too early. I have a lot of guilt especially for my second cat who didn't want to leave this world. Furkidlets mom (where and how are you???!!!!=xoxoxo) posted this article which I read yesterday --it is the ONLY ONE that helped me, at least re the guilt re the euthanasia.

http://www.katberard.com/com_faq.htm

E.M

Honey the roller coaster is so hard. Not much I can say but I AM thinking of you. I was thinking of Denis and his bacon just yesterday, that always makes me laugh.

Love

I am so sorry you are going through this roller coaster, I think we all are. I am so sorry about the loss of your Denis.....what a cutie.

Many hugs your way......Misty's Mama

E.M.,

I know what it's like. You get all excited to be connecting to your loved one again, and it may lift you up for a bit, but then you crash, as it brings up everything that's been sitting under the surface all along, and sometimes even some NEW stuff, because of new information that you may not have known about before.


Of COURSE you did, sweetie! You made the right connection with him right from the start....and you DID know this. Your intuition told you it was so, but you didn't trust in it. Denis stood out for you for a REASON ~ you were meant to be together! It was written into both of your 'blueprints' before you each even came to this plane. TRUST in that. YOU gave him his good life and for that, you'll always be connected to him, always share that love for each other, and never really be parted.

I'm sure when your other reading is done, he'll have had something comforting to tell you, and maybe even some guidance as to how to get the most out of the rest of your life. They loved us here, they still love us 'there', and are always looking out for our highest good, and the good for All. Let us know what else comes through for you. We'll be here to support you, no matter HOW you're feeling afterwards.

toonie,

Gee, thanks for thinking of me! I'd like to say I've been 'fine', but I've not been. Going through some very challenging times here, trying to keep growing, keep afloat, and it's not been easy. I'm glad you found some help in that article, though. Some of them are okay, some not so good, but some are great! That particular website is very good, overall. That's why I post the better ones I find...cuz when we're grieving, it's not easy to sit and sift through website after website, trying to find the best ones.

Furkidlets mom, I read many of your posts: I too nearly went crazy with the honkers(canada geese) this fall and I dread their mournful cries when they return this spring. Your spiritual side is such comfort in a world that is anything but. You may not yet be an angel but you are on your way to becoming one. May
all the animals you have loved send you positive waves.

For all of us sad souls here, I hope our animals send us soothing thoughts to help us continue to see beauty; then we shall store this beauty next to the pain in our hearts.