Hi Ariel,
That makes me so mad that people can be so insensitive like that! I'm sorry. I too encounter that quite a bit.
I bought a book entitled "Saying Good-Bye To The Pet You Love." It has a chapter dealing with helping children through their loss and grief. What you have been doing sounds just right. I don't know how old your children are and, of course, that makes a difference in how to deal with it, but I'll briefly summarize a section entitled
"Helping Children with the Loss of a Companion Animal."
1. Tell the truth. In Solas' case, since he was so very sick and had to be euthanized, it says re euthanasia, not to say "he was put to sleep," but to say "Solas died peacefully and without pain. . . If the child asks what "dead" means, you might say, 'The animal's body stops working and won't be able to be with us anymore." (This is just what the book says.)
2. Ask children if they have any questions.
3. Explain that being sad or angry is normal. You might want to let them know you feel sad and angry too, and that together you will get through this hard time. . . .
Making a scrapbook or a drawing of the animal can help . . . a memorial of some kind is also useful . . .
4. Let the children say good-bye to the pet, if possible. . . . Be sure to have a memorial service, even without the body. Let the children write a peom or say something about their pet . . . all of the things they loved about their pet. . .
5. Ask them how they are feeling about the loss. You might have to help younger children find the words to describe how they are feeling. With older children, you might have to watch for behavioral signs, as they sometimes do not want to express their feelings to adults. Keep trying, however, as older children often need to talk the most.
6. Inform others of what is going on in your child's life. As neighbors, teachers, relatives, etc. for extra support and understanding of your child right now. . . .
7. Don't put time limits on your child's grief. . . . If your child doesn't seem to be getting better after about 3 to 6 months, you might want to consult a mental health professional.
8. Don't tell children more than they want to know about losing the pet. Even though you want to be honest, don't give every detail, unless they ask. Sometimes too much information can overload a child. . . .
9. If your chid wishes to have a memorial of some kind, respect his or her wishes. . .
10. Don't try to get another pet too soon.
It is a painful and emotional experience. However, it can also be a time of sharing with your children and teaching them about life, love and death."
I hope this helps. Again, it's just what the book says. I don't know how much of it is appropriate or right for you. Just trying to help. There are books written especially for children grieving the loss of their pet. I found the books I bought on Amazon.com for good prices.
Also, there is one other site you might check out, but it might be TOO SAD. It is the animated version of Rainbow Bridge. It's beautiful, but it might be too much. You can find it at :
http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.htmlAnd you might check out the memorial site I posted about Hannah. It's easy to make one. Ya'll might be able to do one for Solas together.
Bless you and your children.
You know how you think of the perfect comeback. . . once you're in the parking lot. But I didn't say anything, I just put down my basket and walked out. 
What a relief to know other people feel the loss of their fur babies just as intensly. People who just don't get it can say such insensitive things. 
