I was just wondering if any of you had small children when you lost one of your treasures. I'm having a hard time keeping it together for him and he is trying so hard to do things right. He talks to Rajah's grave every morning and night or everytime we leave the house. He just says Hi, we're home! or Goodnight, I love you! I can't take it. If I'm feeling this horrible, what must my Sawyer Bug be feeling?

This morning he told me he had another dream about Rajah and that he was at Rainbow Bridge with him, playing ball and that Rajah said to tell me he loved me! It breaks my heart! Any advice?

I don't have any kids, (well, the human variety, anyway), but I have to say that I also talk to my Caesar at his gravesite, or just about anywhere, daily. More like, hourly. I think your child is dealing with the loss as best as he can, and trying to keep Rajah's memory close, I think it's touching & beautiful that he gave you a message from Rajah from his dream by the Bridge! I'm still waiting to dream of Caesar and I romping by the Bridge. Your heart is breaking, but it sounds bitter-sweet to me, at the worst. I hope you find the answers you are looking for, in this. At least he doesn't seem to be keeping all the hurt inside, and is indeed sharing it with you, along with trying to cope. Hang in there... *hugs*

I don't have kids, but sometimes I think with kids it is more important to just listen. Sometimes you don't HAVE to say anything, let the kids say what they want.
I'd only question a belief if it could harm the child. (Like if they wanted to take a blanket to a grave if it was cold) Then, I'd have to intervene and tell them there was no cold or pain where the spirit lives now.

I think you are doing a FINE job, and I think it is OK for kids to see parents cry.
When I was 9 my pony died, and my mom sobbed. I could let it out, because my mom did. We healed together. It was OK to see my mom cry, let it out, and grieve. Sometimes crying around really small kids upsets them, they don't understand. So, for those, I'd let them think what they want, TELL them you are sad, but maybe don't let the BIG gasping sobs out at that particular time.

You are doing fine. Let your younster talk to you. I remember as a kid, sometimes it was nice to talk, and not always just be spoken too.

I think you and your boy are doing beautifully. Encourage him to keep sharing his dreams with you. Children have such honest grief.

i have a dtr. shes 10. has been thru both passing of my girls. was there to the worst of it with kitten and even alerted me to poohbears sudden collapse as she was with her when she collapsed.

one thing i can tell you is let him talk about it as much as he wants. i know it hurts you some, but it really is helping him deal with his loss too. kids are resilent and they bounce back, they really do... it took my dtr a bit of time to talk about the girls without crying .now she talks of them and smiles...rememebring all the memories she has of them. she is actually doing wonderful with it, well except for in december when she came down with mono and had 105 temp for 7 days, she actually kept saying over and over how much she missed them, and we talked about them and she was better... i think you are doing a wonderful job helping him deal with his grief even though you are going thru the same..and its hard for you right now but it will get easier as time goes on..

take care
michelle