I have been up all night just hold and cuddling my baby,Kate. My heart feels as though it's going to burst. There are so many things I want to thank her for, and any of the words I use seem so inadequate. My daughter thinks I'm crazy, my husband is the solid rock against which I am leaning, and I don't know what my baby is thinking. She seems a little distant. Have I misinterpreted the signals? She doesn't even lick my hand, just rests her head in my lap, or on my leg. How am I going to let her go????
Dear God,
Please love and cherish my Katie in Heaven as much as I have here on this earth. I promise she is an amazing creature that you created for me. When no one else cared, she did, when all the hurts and failures crashed down on me, she was there to pick me back up, when I thought there was no more love or laughter in this world, she helped me to see, when I was sick, she comforted me, so you see God, she is so very precious to me. Please, please love her, and treat her as gentle as I have. She has never been mistreated, and I can't bear the thought of someone not giving her the respect she deserves. God, help me tomorrow to be able to handle what must be done. Let me remember that this is not about me, or what I want, but what is best for my Katiegirl.
When she crosses the Rainbow Bridge, I hope you have some cattle she can herd, and some birds that need chasing away from your mansion. She hasn't been able to run for quite a while now, and I pray that a new set of legs and hips is the first thing you reward her with. Please always remind her of me, and how very much I love her. I will always love her, forever and a day. She loves beer cheese and Werther's Originals, and I want her to have all she eat of her favorite foods.
I am placing her into your keeping just for a little while, until I can get there too.
Keep her safe, warm, and loved, for there is no other like her. She is a true lady.
I hope you can show her where Mom is and all the rest of my family, so she won't be so lonely. I know I am rambling, but the pain is almost unbearable. Please, I am begging you, to just let her know why I had to do this for her. I am so afraid she won't understand. Let me have the strength to endure tomorrow, for Katie.