This is my second post, as I've just read the post on pets "visiting" their departed families. These are just some thoughts I had on my mind, and I wanted to share them. Sorry if I seem to ramble, they are just various thoughts I wanted to get out, so they are random.
As to folks witnessing their deceased pets, I do not discount these folks visions. I've never had a deceased pet visit me, but I really can't say what others have or have not experienced. I do not discount their experiences.
Everyone has different pathways to the departed. I've chosen not to pick a pathway, I don't want communication with the dead. But that is just me, the path I'm sure is there, whether we USE it depends on us.
My beloved Boo is in heaven. I'm so sure, because heaven wouldn't be complete without her.
When I was a child I was told by a minister that animals don't have souls. Neither do angels. So, as a childs mind would act, I just figured our pets were angels.
Angels exist, here on earth and in heaven. Think about it, so pets can exist here and in heaven.
They don't live as long as we do on earth, because they have other stuff to do in heaven. Not more important stuff, just other stuff. Funny how this child like thought carried through into my adult life. We think we are caring for our pets, but the reverse is true.
God gave us animals to be stewards too. We can eat some, we can use others, but for every animal I think god wants us to respect them and treat them humanely. I'm probably not like some on this board, I like to eat chicken, and fish, and sometimes beef. But I want that animals time spent here on earth to be good. I want them treated humanely, and their end quick.
Pets, well, why do we have them? We don't eat them, they don't carry loads for us (like a beast of burden) they WHY do we have them?
Just another way God has given us to show love, is my theory. To LOVE something that can't talk to you or TELL you out loud that they love you back is amazing.
So, we can love a being who doesn't talk to us. I love god, and he doesn't talk to me, verbally. There is some kind of communication, I can't explain it, but then again, there is some communication with our animals too...Hummm.
So, no animal that dies just dies, they are like angels and just return to heaven.
That is one reason I can never understand animal cruelty, how could someone hurt and angel? But, since they are all forgiving, most abused animals forgive.
I never glimpse my Boo, I don't want to ever see her see me grieve. I don't ever want to have her see the severe pain I feel in my heart and the empty hole left when I lost her. No, I'm just convinced one day MANY years from now when I'm an old woman dying in my own comfortable bed, I'll be surrounded by angels, both my two and four legged friends.
Death, when expected, can be celebrated as much as a birth. It is a life event, a rite of passage. A past life can be celebrated, and a spirit is set free. I know Boo is no longer trapped by her earthly body, and even though she had happy times here on earth, somehow I don't think they can compare to the peace she has now.
If I could put in writing what I want to tell her it would be this:
I LOVED you Boo, you were perfect in my heart, In your last days if you were suffering I am so sorry please forgive me, I just didn't want you do die and leave me. I wanted the doctors to be able to heal you and make you well again, and if I was wrong putting you through that then please forgive me. It was my own selfishness wanting to keep you here longer with me. I was in denial that you would die, you had fought other things so hard, I didn't want you to give up.
I don't want you to think that when I left you at the emergency hospital that I was abandoning you. I only did it because it was the only thing that could have saved your life. But it wasn't to be, and when you passed I didn't hold you and I didn't tell you goodbye.
When the doctor was asking me if he should keep reviving you, and I told him no, please forgive me if I gave up on you too soon. Were you fighting to stay alive, or were you fighting to let go? This pain stays with me, but I need some closure Boo, I need to say goodbye to you.
So now I want to say it. I love you BOO, hugs and kisses forever and ever.
I love you! Goodbye Boo.
I'm sorry if I rambled, but if there was any way my Boo could hear me tell her goodbye I would tell her goodbye and have some peace. But I can't do that without disturbing her peace.
I think because I don't choose to use that "pathway" others have communicating with the dead is why I'm stuck. I just can't find a way to tell her goodbye.
Thanks for reading, it helped me get some feelings out. Amazing how cleansing it feels JUST to get it out someplace. I'm sorry if I rambled.
My other dogs are staring at me, they feel my pain. If I say "where is the baby" they all run to where her bed used to be, but they don't seem sad. Makes me wonder if they know something I don't.
I'm going to go play with the other dogs, and not grieve any more today. I just needed to get that out. Thanks.