It is so hard to be back here. I can't tell you all how much help and support that I found here after Solas, my 16 yo cat passed away three years ago.

Sigh, Now I am back again. Our poor sweet goofy ##er spaniel, Jake died yesterday. It was very sudden. Within 24 hours, he went from fine, to sick, to dead. He had developed IMHA, a type of anemia, common to ##er spaniels.

I'm glad he didn't have to suffer long. It was so hard to watch him die right in front of me. It was peaceful, but so sad. My two kids were with me and it was very hard to see them so wounded.

I loved that silly little dog. He was such a goof. Wildly jealous of the cat. He had a funy walk, sometimes his back feet went faster than his fromt feet, so he went all slanted.

Anyway, glad to be where you all get it. Thanks for your help.

And if anyone has tips on how I can help my 9 yo son deal with this, cause it was his dog, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks,
Ariel

Ariel

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a wonderful site, full of caring and understanding people. I'm just sorry that you had to come back here because of losing another furchild.

I don't know how to comfort your son. I know that thinking back to myself at that age, and losing a pet, it was truly devastating, but I know that the grief didn't last as long as it does now that I'm an adult. Back then, it was easier to just "get a new one", where now I realize that my girl can never be replaced.

My thoughts are with you and your son.

Ariel, I was so sorry to hear about your beloved Jake. He must have a very loving family, and I'm sure he was so very happy to have been yours. Please tell us more about Jake, and maybe post a picture of him! I bet he was a very beautiful dog.

I wish I knew something to say to help your son. I remember when I was around that age and my cousin lost her german shepherd, and I was so sad because I loved that dog so much, too. Hugs help when the tears fall. Hugs always help.

*Many hugs to you and yours*

It's been a hard day, I miss my Jake so much. I keep thinking I see him out of the corner of my eye. It's a good thing I remember going through the same thing when Solas died, or else I'd think I was going crazy. I can't bring myself to put away his kennel or his dish. Our new cat Snowball, who, for the record, is a jerk, has been no help. He doesn't even seem that phased. I thought he would be grief-striken, but he is right back to licking himself in inappropriate places.

My son is still very sad. People who I've spoken to about it all remember losing their first pet. I just feel so helpless watching him hurt. My daughter is a little less sensitive, perhaps because she's younger. She keeps saying that he will come back to life. I remember thinking that way at the age of six. She's so funny, the first thing she asked after Jake died was if they had to go to school the next day!

It just feels like there's this big hole in our house. I want some more fur to cuddle! I even looked at dog's we could adopt. It's too soon, I know, but I want a lap dog again. I miss having Jake just lay his head against me. I miss his snoring and the silly way his tongue would stick out as he slept. And would someone please explain to me why c-o-c-k-e-r spaniel is so offensive, that we need to block out some letters- People! It's DOG BREED- Not a curse! You don't need to do much to tick me off these days, but really, don't annoy a grieving furparent with PMS!

In the end, I'm so glad that we got to be there for him. That his last hours were full of love and attention. I had been holding him like a baby and cooing at him about what a good boy he was. And he was such a good boy. There he was at the front door to greet us with the last ounces of energy he had. How I wished that the medicine had worked. I threw away the bottles today. Tossed them in the trash so had the can shook, that's how angry I was.

And can I also gripe just a little that we spent over $625 and I didn't even get an extra day with my dog. And now I have to explain to Visa why they shouldn't be waiting by their mailboxes for my check this month! Sigh! Money doesn't fix everything, but not having enough can sure make a hard time harder.

I am so thankful to you for your concern. I can't tell you how hearing from a total stranger who understands how I'm feeling uplifts my spirit. I promise once I'm feeling a bit better, I'll be able to answer some other fur parents letters.

Thank you all again...Ariel

Solasmom,

I'm feeling for you right now. Jake left you so suddenly, I don't know how you're not in shock. I had been preparing myself for months and was still in shock when it happened. I know all too well the emptiness in the house that you described in your post. The greetings at the door, all the little things we become accustomed to (but that we never take for granted) are so painfully missed when they leave us. You mention not putting away his kennel or his dish - my MoMo passed a little over 5 weeks ago and all of his things are still intact: toy box, bowl in the same spot on the counter, leash still hanging from the hook. I can't and probably will not put those away...my point is, leave Jake's things out if you need to. When people die we are encouraged to honor them, and in my opinion grieving our furbabies should be no different.

I know it must be an awful time for your family, especially your son. I wish I had some wisdom for you, but all I can do is tell you that I am sending all of you - and Jake - warm, loving thoughts. I hope you keep visiting the site for support..

Ariel

I'm so sorry you lost your Jake. It's so hard when we lose one we love so much. It was a shock it happened so fast. I'm sorry your kids had to go through that too.


Oh honey this isn't meant to tick you off, or hurt you. Grief can make you so mad, can't it? I saw this on another post so here is the why, from MD Cohn, the Admin.

It's just very unfortunate that c-o-c-k-e-r starts the way it does, and that some people can't just leave anything alone. Bad words about reproduction on a pet loss board? Where does that come from?

I'm so sorry all the money you spent didn't save him too. Right now it just all makes you mad, I understand. Please give your son a hug from me, tell him I'm so sorry his doggy died.

Thinking of you and your family, and Jake.

Nine year olds are as capable of feeling terrible grief as adults are, although they often can't express it well. Let him know that it is ok to feel sad, but to remember that he helped give Jake a wonderful life. Let him know that if you get a new dog one day, it will not replace Jake, but will be another, different dog to love and care for. Rescuing a dog from the pound in Jake's name might help.

If your religious views permit, telling him that Jake is in heaven and sending a balloon up with a message might also help. Saving a keepsake is also helpful. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it does make them more bearable.

Most importantly, just let him know that you understand how he feels. Don't minimize the loss.

The worst story I ever heard was a family who snuck their elderly cat's body out of the house so the 7 year old daughter wouldn't see, and told her that the cat was sick and at the hospital. They then bought a new similar looking cat and brought it home, telling the girl that her cat was now better. She knew and said that the cat was not her cat, but the family insisted that the cat had changed a little because of its illness. After awhile the girl stopped insisting that the cat was not hers, but she always knew the truth. Everyone told her parents that this was a terrible idea, but they thought they knew best.

Daisy's Mommy

I feel for you, Ariel, I wish I could do something to heal the hurt. You gave your Goofball a great life, and he took your love with him where he went.

The biggest gift you can give your son is just allowing him to hurt and to grieve. He knows that Jake was loved by all of you, and that will help him through. Some day you will be able to tell of all the funny little things Jake did and you will know you are on your way to healing.

I'll be thinking of you,

Dawn